Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Brooke

S leep evaded me. Normally the crackle of the fire lulled me to sleep like a lullaby. But tonight, my remedy failed me. I stared at the flames but all I saw was Adam’s smile as Corbin was leaving, saying he’d see them early tomorrow.

That smile hurt . I knew Adam liked me. I knew he wanted to kiss me. But he didn’t seem to have any hesitation about leaving me.

Sure, he wasn’t leaving me . He was leaving to go live with his friend, which happened to not be where I lived.

I’d never wanted kids. I’d never had that baby fever like my friends did. My mother would constantly ask when she was going to be a grandmother and I would always tell her when my brother or sister made her one. Kids had never been on my radar.

It had been six days, almost a week, since I had found Adam stranded in his car with those kids. I should be thrilled to no longer have the crying, the midnight feedings, the laughter, the scamper of little feet…

I loved silence. It was peaceful to me, cathartic. I could close my eyes out here and hear myself think. For nearly a decade, silence had been my companion. It always felt claustrophobic to me whenever I had to go into town. That was one of the reasons I loved winter as much as I did. Winter was my excuse to avoid going into town for months on end.

I was dreading the silence that would fall when Adam left in the morning. It would be deafening.

It was foolish for me to even want them to stay. I didn’t have the room for them. We’d only known each other less than a week. What was I supposed to say? What logical argument could I present that would make them want to stay?

Adam wasn’t a criminal, I knew that. But someone was chasing him. I didn’t know why, but I did know that. I believed my mountain could keep those kids safe. But could I ?

I had my hunting rifle. I was a good shot. There was a big difference, though, in hunting animals to survive and killing another human to protect another. As a police officer, I knew this better than most.

The others knew this too. Tommy certainly would shoot any trespassers on his land. Dalton would shoot to warn before he shot to kill. Corbin was the same way. There was no doubt Walter and Huck would too. Mind, someone would have to make it past Tommy’s, mine, Dalton’s, Walter’s, and Corbin’s lands to reach Huck’s. That took intent.

Adam and his children would be safer the further up the mountain they were. Even if I did send out an SOS on the radio that someone was on my land, it would take Dalton and/or Corbin a while to reach me, weather permitting. The lands were vast in these parts and traveling the most direct route couldn’t always be done in a vehicle.

It was entirely selfish to want them to stay. They would not be as safe with me as they would be with Corbin. Above all else, keeping those kids safe was the priority.

With a resounding sigh, I came to the conclusion that Adam was right. He couldn’t stay. It might take some time, but I’d get over my feelings and I’d move on. I’d done it before, and I could do it again.

“Can’t sleep either?”

I looked up and around at his voice. I hadn’t even heard him come into the living room. In the glow of the firelight, I could make out his silhouette by the couch.

“What are you doing out here?” I shakily asked.

“Trying to decide between right and wrong.”

I sat up in my lounge chair. The back rose with me, but I didn’t push the footrest down. I needed a barrier between us.

Adam walked forward but didn’t approach me. He sat on the couch in the corner closest to me. For a long time neither of us spoke. My heart was beating fast, my breaths were a little short. My reaction to him being here didn’t calm the longer we sat in silence.

Slowly, hesitantly, Adam reached across the small wood table between the chair and couch. He left his hand there, palm up. Waiting.

I swallowed, roughly. It felt like there was a boulder sitting on my chest. My hand moved to his. Our fingers laced together. We stayed like that for the remainder of the night. I didn’t sleep, and I don’t think he did either.

Maybe it was enough, just that touch of hands. Maybe we didn’t need some quick, fleeting romance that would haunt us for the rest of our lives. Maybe all we needed was just to know the other one cared.

I was such a bad liar; I couldn’t even fool myself with that bullshit.

I needed more, wanted more. But if this was all I could get, then I would take it all and hold onto it for as long as I could.

The sun began to rise over the horizon. A tear escaped down my cheek. Adam had packed what he could the night before, so the kids could sleep as long as possible in the morning. Corbin would be heading out soon now that the sun was up. We had about an hour before his arrival.

I slowly lifted myself to sit up in the chair. At some point during the night, I had slumped over onto my outstretched arm. Adam started sitting up as well. He looked as tired and weary as I felt.

We said nothing as we stood, our hands still gripped tightly together. I could feel my chin start to tremble and my vision blurred as more tears came forward. As one, we walked toward the hallway. I started towards the kitchen, and he started towards the bedroom. Our arms gradually stretched to their limits, our fingers’ grip failing.

It would only take one more step and we would have to relinquish our hold. The tightness in my chest intensified. My teeth started chattering as the tremble worsened.

One of us stepped forward. I’m not sure which. Our fingers untangled, the tips just barely touching. I couldn’t look back. I’d break if I did. Clenching my eyes closed, tears streaming down my cheeks, I took that final step.

Our hands fell.

I kept walking.