Chapter 8

Eight

Clara

I sat on my guys' laps and knew without a shadow of a doubt, there was no place I'd rather be. I couldn't control the giggle that escaped me as I took in the confusion on both their faces. My big, strong, tough Special Forces warriors were transformed into teenagers for a second.

The laughter left me as I realized they were experiencing the same fears I'd been facing earlier when I explained things to Will. Only on top of what was going on with the three of us, they were dealing with whatever pushed them so hard to stay close to each other.

My heart ached for my guys. I wanted nothing more than to soothe the hurt and confusion. I searched for a way to ease this situation. I thought about the events leading up to this moment, so many thoughts swirling through my mind.

And then it came to me.

I wiggled back a little more so my back was firmly braced against the arm of the couch, my legs draped over them. My movements were met with two very male groans, and I couldn't help the smile that formed any more than I could push down the surge of sheer feminine satisfaction that flowed through me at the feel of their arousals. I took in the almost pained expressions on their faces.

I might not have much experience with sex and everything that went along with it. But that didn't mean I was na?ve enough to miss the expressions of desire and need that sharpened their features.

Staring at them, I could feel an answering push of desire moving through me, pouring through my veins, and moving like molten lava to pour hot liquid between my thighs.

Down girl. I did my best to tamp down my need. We had some ground to cover before I jumped either one—or better still, both —of them.

But I was reserving the right to jump them as soon as possible.

I sighed as a weight lifted from me as the reality of my desire for both men settled deep into my heart and soul. With an instinct I never realized I possessed, I knew Will was right. This was exactly as it was supposed to be.

Something in my expression brought incredulous looks from both men. I fought back the urge to laugh. "Sorry, guys. It's just…" I shook my head as I racked my brain for the best place to start.

"What did you guys think of my music?" The words popped from my mouth before I made the conscious decision to start there. As soon as they were out, I didn't find it so hard to fight off any level of amusement.

My music meant the world to me, as much as my strays and rescue animals. And sitting here with the two men I wanted to claim as my own, the answer to that question felt like the most important thing I'd ever heard.

I let my gaze drop to my lap, and played with a thread on the edge of my shirt.

"Clara, look at me." Dyson's voice came softer than I'd ever heard it before.

I slowly raised my head and found myself the object of two gazes that touched me with a gentleness that made emotions I couldn't quite name quake through me.

"Your music, that song you sang, it was incredible," Dyson said, his face solemn as if he knew exactly how much his answer meant to me. He held my eyes, his gaze unwavering.

I stared for several long seconds before looking to Eeli. His usual hard features were transformed by an almost boyish grin. "Baby, when you started singing, I felt it in my dick. When I realized it was you up there, I wanted to kill every man in the room who got to hear it." He shook his head with a small chuckle. "If I didn't know you were mine before, the second I heard you singing would have clinched it."

My jaw dropped.

I lunged forward and flung my arms around Eeli's neck. Before he had a chance to do anything, I pressed my lips to his and kissed him for all I was worth.

Eeli sat frozen underneath me for a long beat. But then he was kissing me back. His arms clamped around me, holding me tightly to him. His mouth slanted over mine and his tongue tested the seam of my lips, demanding entrance.

I opened to him, pressing myself even closer as I shifted to straddle his lap. My hands fisted in his hair, and as his tongue plunged inside for his first taste of me, a mixture of happiness and exultation and pure unadulterated lust rose within me with such force, all I could do was cling to him.

A hand, not one of the ones Eeli had closed around me, smoothed over my shoulder, pushing my hair back from my face. I pulled away from Eeli with a gasp, gulping for air.

Dyson's hand on my shoulder moved to my chin, turning me to face him. His eyes were blazing at me with a deep need I couldn't deny. Tightening my thighs over Eeli's lap to keep my balance, as well as keep the connection to Eeli, I leaned in and kissed Dyson.

Dyson's kiss was different. Where Eeli started out hard and needy, Dyson's was a slower build. He nibbled on my bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth to give it a gentle tug that made me moan into his mouth as my eyes drifted closed.

He used the tip of his tongue to tease and coax me to open up to him. With the knowledge that Eeli's hands braced me on his lap so I was in no danger of falling, I allowed my body to melt into Dyson's as the kiss deepened, turned possessive.

He stroked his tongue inside and I moved a hand to cup his hard jaw, keeping my other hand braced on Eeli's chest.

When Eeli shifted restlessly beneath me, I slowly eased myself back from Dyson's kiss, feeling just as breathless as I had after Eeli's. I opened my eyes slowly to find two sets of eyes pinned to me, watchful and waiting.

I skipped my gaze between the two as I tried to absorb what just happened. Sure, earlier I'd sort of accepted the fact I was meant to be both Dyson and Eeli's. But back then it was pure theory. I hadn't dwelled too long on the whys or hows.

But now…now I'd more than dwelled. I'd tasted and touched and reveled. Not nearly as much as I wanted to, but it was a beginning.

As my scattered and jumbled thoughts began to reassemble from all the corners they fled to as I'd fed on the mouths of two men currently staring at me, a slow grin formed on my lips.

All my secrets were out. Dyson and Eeli learned about my singing. And while they might not be thrilled I'd been hanging out in bars in various mountain towns and a few nearby cities without any protection—and knowing them the way I did, I knew they wouldn't consider Will, Jack, and Dean real protection no matter how well-meaning my bandmates were—their reactions told me they liked my song.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Dyson's eyes were filled with concern.

I shook my head, not losing the smile for a second. "I'm way beyond okay." I couldn't help it, I leaned in and pressed a hard and fast kiss on his lips. Then I turned back to Eeli and gave him the same. "You like my music."

Eeli's heavy-lidded gaze moved from his inspection of my mouth to meet my eyes.

"I loved it," he said simply.

My smile grew. I twisted my head to include Dyson in my happiness. I reached out and grabbed his hand. "And the three of us…"

Uncertainty flitted across Dyson's face and he darted a glance at Eeli.

Nervous flutters filled my belly. Maybe they hadn't felt the same way I had. "It felt…the three of us just now, I mean…it, well, it didn't feel wrong to me." My voice rose with the last few words, making them more question than a statement.

I skittered my gaze back and forth between the two of them, terrified the feelings I'd just experienced were just me.

Eeli gave me a gentle shake. "No, baby, it didn't feel wrong."

I turned to Dyson. He reached out and pushed my heavy hair back from my face, sending it spilling over my shoulder. "It didn't feel wrong. Just the opposite."

Relief poured through me and I collapsed onto Eeli's chest. His arms got tighter as he cuddled me close, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I peeked out at Dyson and extended an arm to loop across his waist, pulling him into the huddle.

"Do you guys know of any others who, you know, have such an unorthodox arrangement?"

Dyson shook his head and I could feel Eeli's voice rumble through him as he answered me. "No, baby."

I snuggled further into Eeli, my arm tightening around Dyson, as the stress of the last few days and my long evening started to catch up with me. My last thought before I allowed the comfort, safety, and warmth of being held in Dyson and Eeli's arms to seep into me and lull me into sleep—I could live with loving these two men.

Eeli

C lara became heavier in my arms as she drifted off, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks as she found sleep. I know for a fact given half a second longer both Dyson and I would have claimed every inch of her body, but I could tell today's events were catching up.

I stared down at her. Nothing had ever felt as good as having her weight pressed against me, her scent filling my head and my lungs. I slid my nose along her temple, inhaling, taking her even deeper inside me. She burrowed even closer to me without waking.

"Fuck me." Dyson's clipped words popped the little bubble I'd been in for the last few minutes as I enjoyed every moment of having my soulmate in my arms.

I slid my eyes to him. He sat sideways, one arm draped over Clara's waist, completing our odd little circle. He stared at her face, half-hidden by her heavy fall of hair as if his life depended on it.

Judging by the words he just uttered, I don't think I'd be far off in saying he did feel like his life depended on it. I knew I did. After holding her in my arms for just this little while, the thought she could be taken away from me shot a white-hot spike of pain through my gut.

As she'd spoken before she drifted off, talking about how natural it felt to be here with both of us, I'd let myself hope. But as I held her, fear crept back in. How the hell would we make this work? I raked my gaze over her face and knew we had to find a way. After having this, whatever this was, for barely minutes, I couldn't imagine living without it ever again.

I shot another look at Dyson. The way his eyes drank her in, I'd have to say he felt the same way. God, why could nothing in our lives ever be easy?

As if feeling my gaze, Dyson tore his eyes from Clara's face to look at me. I could see the same twist of emotions in his expression as I felt coiling through me.

"What are you—we—going to do?" I asked.

Dyson's jaw hardened. "I have no fucking idea."

He pulled his arm from Clara to run a hand over his face in frustration. But almost instantly he returned his hand to her back as if he couldn't stand not having the physical connection with her.

I couldn't help my wry grin. I didn't know how to react to my feelings about Clara. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to wallowing in the feeling of finally finding my soulmate and getting to hold her in my arms. I couldn't in my wildest dreams have imagined that the one person who made me feel whole again was one of my best friend's sisters. Or that my other best friend would feel the same as I do. Add the odd connection between Dyson and I, and the whole thing had disaster written all over it.

But at least I wasn't in this cluster fuck alone. I shook my head. "I don't think we're going to get any of this figured out tonight. Why don't we get her into bed? We can talk tomorrow."

As soon as I mentioned getting her into bed, Dyson's eyes dropped to her face once more. His nostrils flared and a muscle worked in his jaw as he fought for control. "She sleeps in our bed, with us."

I nodded. I hadn't planned on anything different. Though I can't say I looked forward to explaining to Clara why Dyson and I had been sharing a bed.

Definitely a disaster. I stood, sliding one arm under Clara's ass, my other going around her back.

As trustingly as a child, Clara hitched her legs around my waist, her arms tightening around my neck as I moved toward the bedroom with her.

Her full breasts pushed against my chest and her soft curves filled my arms in a way that made my mouth go dry and, although it seemed impossible, my dick got harder.

When I got her to our bedroom, I laid her on the bed, and without saying a word Dyson and I fell into sync. We peeled down her jeans and settled her back against the pillows. In minutes we had her positioned in the middle of our big bed wearing just her T-shirt and panties, the navy blue comforter tucked around her.

"Fuck me," Dyson repeated.

My eyes darted to him for just a second before they returned to the vision in our bed. Nothing had ever looked as beautiful as Clara lying against the white pillows, her dark hair streaming across them. The only thing that would make it better would be us crawling in next to her.

Dyson must have had the same thought, as we both started stripping. In seconds we stood on either side of the bed, both of us down to our boxer.

I hesitated a second as I lifted the covers. My lips tightened as I noticed Dyson pausing, too. It didn't feel quite right sliding in beside Clara when she was sound asleep and had no say in the matter.

His eyes met mine over the form of our sleeping beauty.

"You and I can't sleep apart." I gave him the reminder I knew he didn't need. We'd tried it when we first moved home, sleeping in separate rooms. We quickly realized that didn't work, as one or both of us would be plagued with nightmares, visions so vivid they followed us into our waking moments. We'd found the only way to keep the nightmares at bay was to share a room.

"And I'm sure as fuck not going to leave her out on the couch or in another room while the two of us sleep in here." Dyson's words left him with a growl. And as if that cleared it all up, his hesitation left him. He lifted the covers and slid right in beside Clara.

She gave out a small sound that made me ache to hold her. Without another thought, I mimicked Dyson's actions and in seconds found myself under the covers.

Dyson pulled her into his arms so her head pillowed on his shoulder and her front pressed firmly into his side. I moved in closer so that I spooned her from behind, my arm circling her waist to pull her in tight against me.

Heaven . For a long time, I'd stopped believing there was such a place. I could believe in hell, though. I'd walked through it more than once the last few years.

But having Clara in my arms and the comfort of my brother on her other side, I could feel myself believing again. The doubts about how the three of us could make this work fled as her body melted into mine.

My nerves settled and for the first time in so long, I let a feeling of contentment take over from having her safely tucked into us. I'll leave worrying about how to handle all of this for the morning. Nothing has ever felt this right and I don't want to ruin it.

Thoughts about heaven and redemption and love and light tumbled with me into a deep sleep.