Chapter 5

Five

Clara

I 'd never been happier to have an excuse to escape Hardwood than I was after Operation Separate and Conquer took such a major left turn. Of course, the excuse I gave my family—that I was attending a workshop on wildlife rehab three towns over—was quite different from my actual reason for being in here.

Pretty sure my brothers would be shocked to find I wasn't holed up in a hotel with a bunch of crazy cat ladies right now. Even more surprised to find me sitting in the back room of a dive bar waiting for my band to go on.

"Here you go." Will, bass player, and band manager extraordinaire, handed me a glass.

"Thanks." I took the glass from him, tilted my head back and took several large gulps. I barely even tasted the combination of cranberry, lime, and SoCo as it slid down my throat, more interested in finding something, anything, that might stop the relentless replay of events that seemed to be on a never-ending loop in my mind.

"Whoa. I don't think I've ever seen you pounding drinks before." Will stood staring down at me, his hazel eyes wide. He pushed the long sweep of dirty blond hair off his face. "Something you want to talk about?"

"Nah. I'm good." The word was ripped from me in a panicked rush. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about the weird attraction that had sprung up between Dyson and me. And let's not forget, the same feeling that sprang up between Eeli and me. I couldn't keep the bite from my words if I wanted to. "I do not want to talk. I'd like to drink."

I made good on my words by tossing back another long swallow of the cocktail in my hand.

Will held his hands up, palms out in front of him. "Okay. You don't want to talk. Got it."

I looked up into his concerned gaze and flopped back onto the cushions of the lumpy, rust-colored sofa that looked like it had seen its best days six or seven decades ago. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's not your fault I can't run away from my own crazy thoughts."

My friend eased his long frame onto the opposite corner of the couch, stretching his jean-clad legs out in front of him. "No worries. Just remember, the offer's always open. If you change your mind, I'm here."

A smile curved my mouth as I took in his earnest expression. My gaze traveled over his handsome face and kind eyes. Why couldn't I go for a guy like Will? I mean, sure he was weird in a corky way, but the whole opposites attract thing seemed to be working fine for Sawyer and Trinity.

But no matter how long I stared into his sweet face, the only feeling I could conjure was one of warmth and deep affection for the guy who had been one of my best friends since high school.

I considered his words. He'd heard me rant about my brothers enough that he should have a pretty clear idea that they took the protective thing to a whole new level. Maybe it was worth sharing things with him to get an objective opinion on it all.

I took another sip of my drink and then let out a sigh. Happy for the first time about our other two bandmates' penchant for lateness. "I think I'm on the fritz. Like broken or something."

Will's eyebrows snapped together. "Umm, run that by me again."

"Me. I'm broken," I said dramatically.

"Oookay." Will shook his head. "I think you're going to have to give me a little more information than that."

I shrugged. "You know how dating works, right?"

He threw me a lascivious grin and wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm familiar with its many facets, yeah. First base, second base, third..."

I rolled my eyes. Guys. Their minds always seemed to go there first. "No, not the bases. Like the way when you meet the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with and your soul recognizes that person on some primal level."

The mirth dropped from Will's expression and something that looked a lot like wistfulness flickered over his face. But it was gone in an instant. "I am aware of what a soulmate is. That's more than just dating though."

I nodded. "Well, I've always thought I was different. That I would never really find that level of belonging. I don't know how to explain it. Let's just say, no one has ever expressed that kind of zing for me. Or vice versa."

"Okay." Will's expression told me he didn't quite get my point.

I tried again.

"Lately, I've been waking up in the middle of the night needing…things." I ducked my head feeling ashamed and downright embarrassed at my confession. "But it's something more than just physical. It's inside me, driving me to grab my keys and not take my foot off the gas until I'm where I need to be. Why can't I control it? I mean, I'm broken right?"

His gaze wandered my face until understanding dawned. "So is it more than just wanting a late-night booty call with this mystery man?"

I burst out laughing, my whole body shaking with it, but as it subsided something occurred to me.

"Oh my God, that's a disturbingly good way of putting it. Not that I've ever done that, but yes, it's like suddenly someone else is in control of things—the way I feel, the way I'm acting."

He nodded and schooled his features into a serious expression. "Then I'll tell you the same thing my dad told me when I fell in love for the first time."

Love? Curious, I nodded for him to continue. "What was this sage piece of wisdom?"

"It's a perfectly natural thing to love another person. Just remember you have to love them for who they are and love yourself, too. It's all a balance." He crossed his arms over his chest looking lost in his own thoughts for a brief moment.

Will chuckled. "Come on, Clara. You look like I've given you the worst news of your life. Isn't love natural? I remember you telling me when your brother found Trinity that you were a little jealous. So isn't all this a good thing?"

I blew out a harsh breath. "If it was just me waking up and recognizing I'm in love, I'd be ecstatic. But I'm not sure if you could exactly call what's been going on with me natural."

He dipped his head toward his shoulder. "So, you're having… unnatural urges?"

He was back to lascivious grins and waggling eyebrows.

I groaned and dropped my face into my hand. He thought he was joking, but he didn't know the half of it.

"Clara?" The humor left Will's tone, replaced by concern.

I raised my head and downed the last of my drink before I dropped the other bomb.

I gave him a brief rundown on Dyson and Eeli and my plan to help them heal and then paused before I admitted the thing that was really bothering me. "And the first time Dyson and I were alone together, I touched him and it was like…" I searched for a way to explain it. "Like I recognized him on a level I didn't even know existed. And I knew without a doubt he was mine. I thought it was the men who were always possessive."

"Okay. That's kind of awesome."

I offered him a weak smile. "You'd think so, right?"

He reached over and grabbed my hand. "I get that he and Eeli are all kinds of fucked up." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "I can see how that could make things difficult, but maybe this is the key to helping them. Maybe your connection to Dyson will make it easier for you to get through to them."

A small surge of hope speared through me. But then reality set in once again. "If that was the whole story, I'd think you were right."

"What am I missing?"

I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and heat suffused my face. I waited a few beats, trying to find the courage to tell him the rest. "The thing is, during stage two of my plan, I decided to get Eeli alone."

"And?" he asked when I left things there.

"Aaand…well, I sort of had the same feelings for Eeli." As I spoke, my voice got softer and by the end of the sentence, I barely mumbled.

But Will didn't miss a single mumbled word. "You have feelings for Eeli, too," he all but yelled.

I yanked my hand from his and jumped up. "Geez, could you be any louder? I think the bartender might have missed that." I plunked my glass on the table in the corner and started pacing back and forth. "Yes, I have feelings for Eeli, too. The same feelings. When I touched him, I swear the earth moved, all the things you expect to feel when you meet your soulmate—all that magical shit I mentioned earlier—yeah. All the same things I felt when I touched Dyson not only solidified inside me like a spell taking root. But the same desires and...and…energy or whatever happened the second my skin touched Eeli's. Magic, only there's no such thing as fucking magic. So you see, I'm a horny broken bitch who wants to screw two best friends."

As I ran out of words, I stopped in front of the couch and flung myself back into the cushions, rested my head on the back and let my eyes drift closed. "Do you get it now?"

"Nope. You want more than to just screw them. You just said as much. You think they are both meant to be with you. Or the other way around. Whatever."

"Have I completely shocked you?"

He laughed. "Babe, I stood under you and gave you a boost to climb back in your bedroom window when you were wearing that microscopic skirt. Nothing could shock me after that."

I reached over and punched him in the shoulder.

"Ouch." He rubbed the spot absently. "Seriously, though, I don't know. It kind of makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, if those guys have some sort of weird connection to each other, maybe the only way to move forward is with both of them. Together."

I wrinkled my nose at him. "Share?"

The idea seemed so foreign to me.

But even as I had that thought, I could feel the energy they sparked inside me stir to life. I let my mind wander over the possibility of being with both Dyson and Eeli.

And okay, let's be real here, not a woman alive wouldn't indulge in that fantasy for a few minutes. Dyson and Eeli were smokin' hot men.

But the feelings that flooded me were more than desire. Not that desire wasn't there. The need flowing through me was real. There was so much more entwined with the desire, though.

I imagined waking up with them every day. I imagined cooking dinner and sitting around the table with my men at the end of each day. I entertained the idea of being part of both of them and helping them to heal from whatever hurt still lingered so deep inside them.

And yes, I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that I lingered over the thoughts of making love to them every night. Running my hands over Dyson's rippled abdomen. Kissing my way across Eeli's hard chest. Being held between both, as they touched and teased my body. Their beards leaving me warm and wet between my thighs.

I bolted up from the couch, my breath coming in heavy pants when a wave of uncontrollable need to find both men clamped around my heart.

"Clara? Are you okay?"

I looked around the room, a little frantic, trying to find an outlet for all the emotion and energy that threatened to twist me inside out.

"Clara?" Will stood and took a few steps toward me.

I put my hand up. "Give me a second, Will. I just need a minute."

He watched me warily, not closing the distance between us.

"Well, at least one good thing," Will said.

I whirled to face him. "Will," I all but growled.

His only response was a small smile that only tipped his lips up a bit before he said softly, "Clara, this is a good thing. You have the answer you needed. You're not broken. You've just accepted you're in love with two men. Your soulmates."

My soulmates. Plural.

"But how do I…" I shook my head, not even knowing what to ask.

Will finally closed the distance between us, putting an arm over my shoulders and pulling me in for a warm hug. "You figured out the tough part. I have faith the three of you can figure out the rest."

The three of us. Something inside me eased as I allowed the idea to take root. As impossible as it might be, the only thing that seemed to calm me was admitting to myself that I had strong feelings for both Dyson and Eeli.

I tried the idea out one more time. My soulmates.

I leaned my forehead against his shoulder and let out a soft sigh. I had no idea if Dyson and Eeli shared my feelings. No idea how all this would work.

All I knew was that the only thing to bring me any peace over the days since I started Operation Separate and Conquer was the thought of being claimed by the two men I wanted to help more than anything. Dyson and Eeli.

Mine.

I continued seeking comfort in Will's hug until another thought had me standing up straight with a gasp.

Holy hell. I could barely grasp the idea of spending my life with not one but two males. How on earth was I going to break it to my brothers? My parents. I shudder.

"I think I'm going to need another drink."