Chapter 26

26

ALY

D amn him for being so charming. I wanted to hate him after what he did to me. Not only did he take advantage of my feelings for him, but he shut the metaphorical door in my face when I had only wanted love. I should burn pictures of him or create a voodoo doll to take my anger out on. Yet, there he was, standing in my office, acting all penitent. All the while, he was stealing looks at me that made my insides quiver.

I knew what he was thinking, and damn my traitorous body for playing along.

If I had been my own girlfriend, I would have cautioned myself against accepting his apology. I hadn't technically accepted, but I had agreed to go out on another date with him. I decided I needed a real girlfriend to talk to, not just myself. Over my lunch break, I called Gina.

"Hi, do you have a minute?" I had locked myself in the bathroom. If anyone needed to pee in the next ten minutes, they were going to have to go down to the barn.

"Yeah, what's up?" Gina asked.

"Linc asked me to dinner."

Gina gasped. "What did you say?"

"I said yes," I admitted, almost cringing in anticipation of her response.

"That's wonderful," she said.

"Do you think so?"

"Yes," Gina said, putting her foot down and cutting off all avenues of self-doubt. "I know he cares about you. He made a stupid mistake, but that's not who he is."

"How can I possibly trust him ever again?" I wondered, pacing from the sink to the window and back.

"Of course, you can't trust him right away, but there has to be some middle ground."

"Like what?"

"If he is afraid of marriage, maybe there is some kind of commitment he can offer. Porter and I aren't going to get married. That just isn't something that we want to do. But we're both comfortable with that."

"I don't think Linc would want to share a house, or a car, or even a dog." Now I was talking myself out of the dinner date.

Gina sighed. "Just try to meet him where he is."

"But what if that's not enough?"

"I think he's ready for more than just casual dating," Gina responded.

"Did he tell you that?"

"No," she admitted. "But he's hanging around. If he wanted to escape, there's nothing stopping him."

"So just because he didn't quit his job and run away, that means he's ready for a real relationship?" I tried the logic and found that it didn't sit right. There was a lot of space between fleeing town and getting married.

"I'm making it worse," Gina complained. "I just think you should hear what he has to say and not judge him by one mistake."

"It was a hell of a mistake."

Gina laughed. "Tell me how it goes."

"I will," I promised.

The rest of the day was a blur. I had to focus to make it through one customer transaction. It was a contractor who had ordered pressure-treated wood but said we delivered non-pressure-treated boards. I had to assure him that we would make it right. After checking with Porter, I put a pickup and delivery onto the schedule, with a little note of apology.

I wasn't sure whether it would be Linc, Danny, or Henry who would get stuck with the unhappy customer, but I had faith in all three. When the day finally came to a close, Linc trudged up the hill to meet me. I was just grabbing my things, thinking I would meet him in the barn, when the front door opened, and he came in.

"Hey," I said. "I was just about to come find you."

"It's been a busy day," he said.

"I know. Were you the one who had to go take the wood back?"

"What?" He seemed to think about that for a moment. "Oh yeah, Danny and I did it."

"Were they mad?"

He shrugged. "No more than usual."

"Really? You've had to deal with them before?"

"A lot of the contractors get angry if you're not right on their schedule."

"I'm sorry," I said, though it really wasn't my fault.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said. "I'm driving?"

"I can drive," he offered. "We just have to take your car."

"Okay." I dug through my purse and handed the keys over. "And you're paying?"

He cracked a smile. "Are you going to take advantage of me?"

I scowled. That one hit too close to home. Maybe this dinner was a bad idea.

He recovered quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up. We can go anywhere you want."

"We can just go for tacos," I said, holding my hand out with the keys.

"I know a great taco place in Nashville," he said, playing keep away.

"Linc," I sighed.

"Please, Aly." He turned his puppy dog eyes on me. "If this is my last chance to make it up to you, let me do it right."

I considered that. I was too tired to drive to Nashville, but if Linc was driving, I could go along for the ride. If he was paying too, I could order whatever I wanted and not worry about the bill. It would be fun to get out of Singer's Ridge for an evening, even if it was just for tacos. And I didn't want to admit that this might not be the last chance at reconciliation. The way things were going, I was sure he was going to talk his way back into my bed.

"Okay," I relented.

"Great." He skipped around me and held the door open. I walked through, feeling like a princess.

While Linc drove, we began to talk. He told me about Mrs. Washington's attempt to get us back together. "She made the best butter cookies, and she made me tea and sat me down to tell me I had to make things right."

"She sounds sweet." I refused to comment on the substance of her message.

"She's like a mom. I really feel like this whole town has come together to support me."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. Of course, I was pleased that the town was behind Linc. He had seen so much in his short life that he deserved a welcoming home. At the same time, I felt left out. Where were my cookies and tea? Who was checking in to see if I was doing alright? Did they just assume that because I had never left Singer's Ridge, that I never would? Didn't they think I needed comforting too?

I put on my brave face and smiled for him, but Linc saw right through it. "What's wrong?"

"No one sat me down and gave me cookies," I mumbled.

"I'm sure that's because you're a powerful, intelligent woman, whereas I am a train wreck."

"Thanks," I said. It did make me feel better.

"And I really was a train wreck," he continued. "I didn't sleep at all. I went walking around the neighborhoods drunk. I took a shower in my clothes."

"You did what?" I gasped.

"I took a shower in my clothes," he repeated.

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't know. Probably because I was drunk." He shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

I frowned, puzzling that one out. I had never heard of anyone taking a shower fully clothed before. What would be the point? I felt like there was more to the story that I was missing.

"But how could you get clean if you had all your clothes on?"

"I saw you with another guy." He pulled off the highway and onto the streets of downtown Nashville. "I think I went a little crazy."

"You broke up with me, remember?" I pointed out in a small voice. The thought that our breakup had done that to him was astonishing. I had felt like crap for the past week, but I hadn't lost touch with reality. Maybe he really did need cookies and tea more than I did.

"I know," he said sadly. "But I'm hoping to make things right."

"Do you think we're going to get back together?" I demanded.

"Hold that thought." He pulled into a city parking lot and found a space.

We would have to walk to our destination, but that was okay. The early evening was clear and neither of us had anywhere we had to be. I left my accusation behind as I climbed out of my vehicle. It had been weird to sit in the passenger seat but nice not to be in charge of the voyage.

We walked down the street in an awkward silence. People were everywhere. Families with little children, teenagers in groups, and young adults in their power suits streamed across the sidewalk in both directions. There were dozens of restaurants and bars packed into a three or four block area. Linc directed me to one, a sit-down Mexican place with colorful tassels strung like Christmas lights around the windows.

Inside, the air was cool and the seating arrangement spacious. This wasn't anything like the little taco joint in Singer's Ridge. There, the walls were white and the lighting fluorescent. Here, the lights were dimmed and there was a candle at each table.

We followed a waiter to the back of the restaurant to a booth near the kitchen. There were at least a dozen other couples and a few families scattered throughout the establishment. I slid into my seat, accepting a heavy menu. It unfolded into lists of dishes, each one advertised in fancy script. We ordered drinks and were left alone for a moment to decide.

"I want you back, Aly," Linc said suddenly, letting his menu fall.

"What about, ‘I can't do this?'" I threw his own words back at him.

"I was a fool," he said. "I panicked. That night was so good, I didn't think I deserved you."

"What changed?" I asked.

"People in this town convinced me that I've got something worth giving."

"Who?" I wondered if there had been more people offering him a sympathetic ear.

"Porter, my dad, Danny, a couple of random people at the diner."

"You talked about our problems to a couple of random people?" I wasn't sure if I liked that idea.

"That's the thing." He leaned forward, eager to share his epiphany. "They're not random people at all. Singer's Ridge is like a family. It's like a big, overgrown family where everybody knows everybody else and they all look out for you. I didn't realize it when I first came home. I mean, we all wanted to get away when we were in high school, right?"

"Right," I agreed.

"So why did you stay?"

I couldn't believe we were talking about the town when he should have been explaining how he had found the nerve to hurt me so badly. "I don't know."

"Come on," he insisted. "Most people left, but you stayed."

"Most people thought anywhere would be better than home," I admitted.

"But you didn't?"

"Not everybody left," I said.

"That's what I'm saying." He still sounded excited, as if he had uncovered the meaning of life. "If you just open your heart to it, every single person in town gives a crap."

I laughed. "I'm not sure everyone cares."

"It sure seems like it," he said, winding down. "Anyway, I realized that I don't want to run away. There's never going to be another place like Singer's Ridge for me. I grew up here; people know me." He shifted in his seat, trying to explain the unexplainable. "When I was at the grocery store feeling sorry for myself, a random customer from the lumberyard just put his hand on my shoulder. It was like we were two parts of the same whole."

I felt a slow smile creep across my face. "I think you're reading too much into this."

"I don't think so. It just feels like everyone is rooting for me for once." He shook his head.

"And that's what convinced you to ask me for another chance?"

"Yes." He sat back as if he had adequately explained anything.

I still had questions, and there was still the small matter of my hurt feelings. "I appreciate your ‘come to Jesus' moment, but I'm not sure it has anything to do with us."

"I ran away because I didn't think I was ready for a family."

"But now you are?" I was skeptical.

"Well, no," he admitted. "But I'm ready to stay put and let myself grow where I'm planted."

"That sounds nice, but what does it really mean?"

He pressed his lips together, trying a different tactic. Our drinks arrived and we had to put in our orders. As soon as the waiter left, Linc tried again. "I didn't think I could be happy here because I felt like the town was too small. I didn't think I could be happy with you because you wanted me to stay. But now I want to stay, and I don't want to live without you."

That was the magic phrase that I needed to hear. None of this circling around the issue, talking about the town or random strangers at the grocery store. I needed to know that he was committed to us, that he was interested in making our relationship work.

"What guarantee do I have that you won't pull the same stunt as you did on Friday?" I asked, getting down to the basics.

"I can't promise that I won't get scared," he began, "but I can promise that I will talk to you instead of running out."

I sighed. I wanted to believe him. With all my heart, I wanted to find myself back in his arms, but that little voice of doubt would not fall silent. Linc's betrayal had hurt worse than any other insult I had ever been subjected to. I needed to know that I would be safe before letting him back into my heart.

"I'll think about it," I said.

"Okay," he agreed.

It obviously wasn't the reaction he had been hoping for, but it was something. If he thought I would abandon my own agenda and crawl back into bed with him after one fancy dinner, he was mistaken. It would take at least two fancy dinners , the lustful part of me bargained. I shut her down. This was serious.

Linc had hurt me and I had a right to take things slowly. Still, the idea that I might one day soon find myself wrapped up in the sheets with him was exciting.

I let the subject drop and we had a perfectly good meal. He was a gentleman, refraining from making any suggestive statements or gestures. I appreciated the patience he was displaying but secretly wished for some pillow talk. It was a Catch-22, and I knew it. If he made any advances, it would feel like it was too soon, but his lack of passion was disappointing.

He paid for the meal and we walked back to my car. I still didn't want to drive, so I let him drive home. He went to his place, not to invite me in, but to save himself the trouble of having to walk home.

"I hope this is okay." He hesitated, putting the car in park outside his home.

"It's fine," I agreed.

"Would you like to come in?" he offered, no hint of lust in his voice.

I knew what would happen if I went in. There would be some awkward conversation, after which one of us would kiss the other, and then we would fall into bed. Or maybe Linc would tempt me into trying it out on the couch. Either way, it would effectively kill the only leverage I had.

"No," I said reluctantly.

"Okay." He accepted my decision and climbed out. "Can I kiss you goodnight?"

I had to walk around the car to get to the driver's side, so I climbed out and met him on the sidewalk. "I don't think that's a good idea." If I kissed him now, with his bedroom such a short distance away, I knew what would happen.

I was torn between wanting him and wanting to soothe my injured ego. I couldn't fawn over him as I had done in the past. He was the enemy, the man who had broken my heart. If I let myself get swept away again, I would just open myself up to more trouble. No, I had to be firm. I took the keys from his hand and climbed into the car.

He shut the door for me, standing back to watch as I pulled away. Inside my head, I was cheering. Linc liked me, he really liked me. He was willing to swallow his pride and get down on one knee to win me back. Maybe not get down on one knee, but he had said he was willing to consider a future and possibly even a family. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and I knew that the next time I had an opportunity to kiss him, I would.