Chapter 18

18

ALY

T hat was the beginning of my relationship with Linc. Over the next few days, we saw more and more of each other. I had been nervous in the beginning, thinking that he had only wanted a roll in the sheets. That turned out to be false. He wanted friendship and romance, and he took me seriously as a partner in crime.

The first time we walked through the lumberyard holding hands, I had tried not to meet the gaze of all the people who were watching. It was a declaration of our fondness for one another. I couldn't say love because I wasn't sure I was in love yet. But I cared about him, and he cared about me.

The last thing I wanted was for people to start talking, but if we wanted to take things any further, that was a bridge we would have to cross. Linc did it perfectly, head held high, not caring who saw.

We went to the diner, another place that was full of people who would gossip about us. We sat in a booth and ate burgers and fries, making eyes at each other over our sodas. He reached across the table to take my hand and I let him. It was crazy. He was laying it on thick, as if we were two lovestruck teenagers who couldn't get enough of each other.

I felt the same way, so I enjoyed every bit of affection.

People noticed, and Porter was one of them.

He called me into his office the next day and asked me to sit down. "This is awkward," he said, rubbing the back of his head.

I sat down, not wanting to guess at the reason I had been summoned.

"It's about Linc," Porter said, putting me out of my misery, erasing my concerns about job performance or budgetary cuts.

"What about him?"

"I just want you to be careful," he said.

"I am."

"I know he's Gina's brother, but he's still a guy."

"And all guys are hounds?" I wanted to make sure I was reading him right.

Porter looked away, conflicted. "In some ways, yes."

I set my jaw. While I appreciated Porter's concern and thought of him more as a friend than a boss, I felt like this was stepping over a line. He must have read my thoughts because he hurried to cut me off.

"Don't give me the same argument you gave Gina. We're only trying to help."

I inhaled. "I appreciate your help, but I'm an adult. I can handle myself."

"I know. We just worry."

"I wonder how many people warned Gina to stay away from you," I said.

"Okay. Fair enough." He held his hands up in surrender.

"Have you talked to Linc?" I asked.

"Yes."

"And what did he say?"

"He said he promised not to hurt you." Porter looked into my eyes with affection.

I nodded, standing up. "Okay, can I go now?"

He let me go back to my desk, and I tried not to be upset. Of course, people had to be allowed to voice their opinion. What was a good friend without a mind of their own? Porter was the closest thing I had to a big brother, and his reaction to my blossoming relationship only proved that point.

Gina was next. She called me from work over her lunch break. "Can we go out tonight?"

"Yes," I answered quickly. I knew what was coming, but I didn't care. Gina was available so infrequently, with work and childcare duties. I jumped on any chance to go out with her.

"Meet at the Lucky Lady at seven?" she asked.

"I'll be there," I promised.

I didn't jump right back in the sack with Linc. He was charming, and I was enjoying the attention, but I held him at arm's length. Instead of being angry, he seemed to take it as a challenge. We had only had two lunch dates at that point, and another late-night rendezvous at the park.

We held hands and engaged in a slower, more luxurious make-out session under the stars. He didn't suggest taking it back to his apartment, and he didn't ask me if he could come to mine. It was as if we had taken two steps backward and could progress at a more leisurely pace.

Every time I thought he would be angry with me, he surprised me by being cool about it. I was beginning to think I had misjudged him that Monday morning after we had been intimate. Maybe he had wanted me to stick around, and I had been reading too much into his postcoital distance.

I wasn't sure how much experience he had with relationships. He certainly knew what to do in the bedroom, but dating was different. Before he had shipped off, I had never seen him with a girl. Over there in the desert, I wasn't sure how much time and space there was for romance. It was probably frowned upon. Maybe I was the first woman he had been with who had wanted to stay the night. I put that thought on the shelf for the next time I found myself in his bed.

After work, I went home to freshen up. I put on a tight pair of jeans and a flirty top. I pulled my cowgirl boots out of the closet and stepped into them. With more than an hour to waste, I went out into the backyard. Sitting down, I pulled out my phone.

There was a message from Linc. How was your day?

Fine, yours? I texted back.

He answered almost instantly. Good. I had a talk with Porter.

Me too! I wrote. What did he say to you ?

Same thing he always says. Don't break Aly's heart.

It's sweet.

There was nothing for a long moment and then , What are you doing tonight?

I'm meeting Gina.

This was followed by a laughing emoji, and the words, Let me know how it goes.

I scrolled through my library app, looking for another book. It sometimes took me a while to find something interesting to read, and after skimming through the descriptions of at least a dozen new novels, I had run out of time.

I drove to the Lucky Lady and found Gina already inside. She had grabbed a booth and stood up to greet me. She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Obviously, she didn't consider this meeting to be a night on the town.

I slid in opposite her and picked up a menu. "Did you order?" I asked.

"No, I was waiting for you," she said.

I considered the offerings. I had already eaten lunch at the diner with Linc, so I didn't want anything heavy. I decided to go with a salad and a water.

The waiter came over to talk to us. We placed our orders and he collected our menus, leaving us in peace. We talked about work for a full minute before Gina erupted with curiosity.

"I'm hearing rumors that you've been dating Linc," she said.

I held my breath, smiling tightly. Here we go. "Yes, we've had two lunches."

"And?"

"And a few midnight walks." I deliberately left out the hour of paradise in his basement apartment.

"And?" she pressed, unwilling to let it drop.

I really didn't want to confess, and yet, Gina presented a sympathetic ear. I knew that she wouldn't blab all over town. She was Linc's sister and a smear campaign would serve her no purpose. I also considered her a friend, but I definitely didn't want her telling Porter.

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone else." I shook a finger at her.

"I promise," she said quickly.

"I'm dead serious. Not even Porter. Especially not Porter." I narrowed my eyes to make sure she understood.

Gina winced. I knew that between couples, secrets were difficult to keep, but I wasn't willing to budge. Either she swore not to tell him, or I was going to keep the details to myself. I watched her work through the dilemma in her head before finally nodding.

"Okay."

"I slept with him," I admitted.

Gina gasped. "When? Where?"

"At his place. Sunday night."

"Is everything good between you?" She sounded concerned.

"Well," I paused for emphasis, "we are dating and I can't stop smiling, so yeah, I think everything is good."

"I mean, it's not awkward?"

"Why would it be awkward?"

"I don't know." She picked up her napkin and twisted it into a rope. "The whole time he was in Afghanistan, I was the only one he would talk to. We didn't communicate very often, but at least I felt like I knew what was going on. Here is different. I have to be nosey to find things out. He didn't even say hello for the longest time, and after the mess I made at the dinner, he hasn't said one word to me."

"Oh." I looked down at the table. I hadn't considered things from Gina's point of view. I supposed I would feel upset and maybe even a little jealous if I were in her shoes. I decided to open up and share my own concerns.

"After we…" I looked my friend in the eye to make sure she understood.

She nodded, getting the picture.

"He just lay there on the opposite side of the bed." I watched her reaction, hoping I wasn't being too graphic. "He didn't say anything or hold me or anything. When he got up to take a shower, I bolted."

Gina's mouth dropped open. "Why?"

"I don't know. I got scared, I guess. Usually there's something afterwards, right? Like a hug or something."

"Yeah." Gina nodded, smoothing out her napkin before twisting it up again. Our food arrived. I picked up my fork but didn't dig in. Gina didn't eat either, staring down at her lasagna as if it were made of plastic. "How does he seem to you? I mean, I can't imagine all the things he's seen. Is he okay?"

I considered the question. Linc was a little difficult to get to know, but once you got under his cool exterior, he was patient and compassionate. His leg seemed to be healing. I hadn't noticed him grimacing in pain or as eager to sit down as he had been that first day on the job. I knew he didn't sleep, so I guessed that meant that something was bothering him. He didn't talk about Afghanistan, and I didn't ask him about it. There was an unspoken agreement that war was too delicate a topic for conversation. I supposed that eventually I could ask him to share his trauma with me, but maybe that was the difference between Gina and me. Maybe Linc was more comfortable around me because I didn't ask.

"I think he's okay," I said finally. "I don't think you have to worry."

Gina blew air out in a small stream. "Okay." She picked up her fork and took a bite. "What do you think I can do to encourage him to come around more?"

I frowned. I wasn't sure there was anything Gina could do. She was practically married to Linc's boss, she lived too far away for him to get to easily, and she was way too busy for accidental meetups in the park. I felt her pain, but I didn't know how I could help.

"I'll talk to him," I said finally.

Gina relaxed. We spent the rest of the meal comparing Porter to Linc. They were both evasive at times. Gina said that Porter would make up excuses not to change Seth, or conveniently forget to pick up diapers on his way home from work. I explained how Linc was attentive but seemed to be allergic to offering compliments. Gina laughed. It felt good to compare notes, as if I had suddenly gained entrance into some secret society that had been out of reach for so long.

Even with my ex-boyfriend, I hadn't felt this kind of belonging. I guess I had known all along that our relationship wasn't meant to last. With Linc, it felt different. Sure, he was hard to read sometimes, but when he felt strongly about something, he wasn't shy. He didn't get caught up in gossip or mixed messages. He seemed to understand what I was thinking even before I did. It felt good. It felt right. And talking to Gina, I was able to express all that.

I finished up my salad and stayed for coffee. Driving home that night, I wondered if I should chance meeting up with my new beau. I couldn't call him a boyfriend yet, but he had made his interest clear. Maybe "friend" was the most accurate description of our relationship. No doubt a midnight stroll through the park would lead to another wonderful experience. Linc had made it clear through his actions that he was waiting for me to take the lead.

I rolled up in my driveway and glanced at the clock. It was only nine, still plenty of time to go. I took my shoes off and put on my pajamas. If I was going to wait, why not be comfortable? I didn't even make it to my perch out back. Instead, eyeing my mattress as I was changing clothes, I decided to lie down. The bed was comfortable, my belly was full, and my mind focused on happy thoughts. Before I knew it, sleep had claimed me, and I slept right through our regularly scheduled insomnia walk.