Chapter 11

11

LINCOLN

I t was torture to kiss Aly and then not see her again for nearly a week. I made a point of walking out to the park at night on the off chance that I might catch her there. But if she was still awake and looking for distraction, she wasn't doing it at the same time and place that I was. After three nights of solitude, I began to marvel at the fact that we had met up in the first place. Maybe she was hitting the park at a different time of night. Or maybe she had other places that she walked. Maybe she was actually sleeping.

I held that last option as a best-case scenario. I shouldn't be greedy, wanting her to suffer from the same affliction I did. She deserved to rest.

By Wednesday night, I had given up on running into Aly, so I did some tighter loops around Mrs. Washington's neighborhood instead of going so far afield. I did enjoy the park, but the ambiance of the town was more soothing. Seeing the individual houses, each tucked away behind manicured lawns and white picket fences, reminded me that my tour of duty was over.

Not only did I miss Aly in the early morning, but I hardly saw her at work. She was up there in the main office, and I needed an excuse if I wanted to see her. A couple times, I made the trek to the back of the lot with some piece of paperwork for Porter to sign. On Tuesday, I grabbed the mileage form and took it to the farmhouse.

Aly was there behind her desk on the phone with someone. I waved hello and took a seat on the couch. Her hair was swept up in a ponytail, showing off her pixie ears. It had been days since I had seen her, but as soon as we were in the same room, all my warm feelings came rushing back. I remembered the chill of the air that night and how it had brushed her lips mere seconds before I had. I remembered the quiet in her eyes after I pulled away and how time had seemed to stop.

She finished up her phone call and set the receiver down. "Linc." Her voice was warm and unmistakable in its joy.

"Hey," I said, fighting the urge to take her in my arms again.

"How have you been?" she asked, leaning forward.

I caught a glimpse of her breasts under the button-down blouse she wore and inhaled sharply. "Things are good. I've been looking for you in the park."

"Really?" She sounded pleased. "Do you go walking every night?"

"Pretty much," I answered. "It calms me."

"I've actually been sleeping," she admitted.

"That's great," I said, even though my hopes of another romantic encounter were dashed.

"I can meet you tonight," she offered, seeming to think better of it almost instantaneously. "For a walk, I mean."

"Sleep is more important," I responded. "But, uh, if you wanted to go out to dinner sometime…"

"I would love to." She beamed, folding her hands in front of her.

Neither of us moved. I felt an attraction like gravity between us. It was as if the magnetic pull would be impossible to resist if I allowed myself to get sucked in. Stepping any closer would result in such a passionate embrace that we would both be fired on the spot. We were in the middle of the main office, a location that was as public as a train station. I could only watch helplessly from my position on the couch and bide my time until we were alone again.

Porter walked in a second later, the front door swinging shut. His gaze bounced from Aly to me, recognition sparking instantly. Aly leaned back in her chair, I relaxed into the couch, and the gravity well between us dissipated.

"I have a question about the mileage form," I explained.

"What are you doing Thursday night?" Porter said in response.

My eyes widened. "Nothing."

"Come to dinner at our house," he said, more as my boss than my near brother-in-law. "Gina's been patient, but it's time for you to say hello and meet your nephew."

I frowned. I knew that I needed to see my sister and meet her kid, but I didn't like being told I had to.

"Aly'll be there," Porter added, checking with his receptionist after making the announcement.

Aly nodded encouragingly. "Do come, Lincoln. You haven't met the baby yet. And Porter makes the best canned soup this side of the Mississippi."

Porter chuckled, looking back to see if I would agree.

I was sold. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll be there."

"Do you really have a question about the mileage form?" Porter asked.

"No," I said and stood up.

It seemed like my hidden agenda was out in the open, and nobody cared. I waited for Porter to pull some of that pseudo big-brother bullshit about messing with Aly, but he didn't. Apparently, me being Gina's actual brother counted for something and I was being given the benefit if the doubt.

I hiked back down to the barn and worked out the rest of my shift, catching a ride home with Danny. That night, I considered going back to the park. Allison had offered to meet me again, though she hadn't said what time. I remembered encouraging her to get some sleep instead, so I figured she probably wasn't walking around waiting for me. Still, it made me anxious to think of her alone in the dark. I took my time walking around midnight and found the park empty. I sat on a bench and waited until around one. When no one showed up except a couple of high school boys with a six pack, I walked home.

Thursday, I asked Danny to stop at the grocery store on the way back from one of our runs. Always in the mood to goof off, he agreed. I wandered through the aisles, wondering what was fancy enough to bring to dinner. I wanted something that said that I cared, but I wasn't willing to go out of my way to get it.

"What are we looking for?" Danny asked.

"I got invited to see my sister," I answered, scanning the refrigerated section. "I gotta bring something to dinner tonight."

"Chips and salsa?" Danny suggested.

I shrugged. "Why not?" I knew alcohol was out of the question, and chocolate seemed too corny. Chips and salsa would be something everyone could dig in to, a contribution to the night's meal. It wasn't much in the way of an "I haven't seen you in eight years" gift, but I didn't think they printed up cards for things like that. On second thought, I grabbed a bouquet of flowers.

"For your sister?" Danny asked, skeptical.

"I haven't seen her yet," I said. "I think she's a little pissed that I've been back and I haven't stopped by."

He nodded. "That makes sense."

I took my grocery bag up the hill to Aly's office. "Can I leave these here?" I asked, finding her alone.

"Sure," she said warily before she had a chance to investigate my request.

I set the bag down behind her in a corner, the flowers sticking up past the bag of tortilla chips. "They're for Gina," I mumbled awkwardly. I should have bought another bouquet for Aly. Damn.

She twisted in her chair to see what I was talking about and her eyes softened. She didn't look angry that I hadn't thought of her too. She looked pleased that I had considered Gina's feelings. Frustration must have been written on my face because she laughed.

"That's sweet of you to buy her flowers," Aly said, relieving me of the responsibility of worrying about offending two women at once.

"I should have gotten something for the baby," I considered aloud. It turned out I was really bad at this gift-giving thing.

"The flowers and the chips are fine," Aly said soothingly. "What's most important is that you show up."

"It's been eight years since I've seen her." I went quiet, still standing behind the desk just inches from the back of Aly's chair.

She reached up to take my hand, gliding her thumb gently over my knuckles. "Gina just wants to see you. You don't have to be nervous."

I squeezed her hand. She was being too kind. I wasn't comfortable with affection, and I was worried that this evening was going to be more than I could handle. Getting Aly into bed was one thing. Falling in love with her was something entirely different.

I scooted out from behind the desk and went back to work. When my shift was over, I went back to collect my groceries and found Aly gone. There was a note on her desk that said, "See you tonight," with a giant heart in the background.

Warning bells went off in my mind. Was I getting too close? Had I made a mistake kissing her? I wanted to get to know her, but I didn't want to get involved in a meaningful relationship. I was too broken. I wasn't the right guy for her, and I knew it. Still, I decided to take the heart as an invitation to do wicked things, rather than a declaration of love. It was better that way. I grabbed the note so that no one else would see it and stuffed it in my bag.

Porter came downstairs just as I was letting myself out the front door. "Hang on. I'll drive."

My only other option was an Uber, and I had long since made a pact with myself where rideshares were concerned. Until I could save up money to buy my own car, I was going to accept every free ride that was offered to me. It didn't matter if I was uncomfortable or if the driver in question went out of their way. I was too poor to funnel all of my cash into being independent.

I followed Porter to his truck and hopped in.

"What's that?" Porter pointed to my bag.

"Chips and salsa," I answered. "And flowers for Gina."

Porter nodded, shifting into reverse. "Nice touch."

We rode in silence for a moment before I tarnished it. "I'm just nervous about seeing her."

"Why are you nervous?" Porter asked.

"I don't know. Something about her giving a shit."

"So because she gives a shit, you don't want to see her?" He merged onto the highway.

"Maybe," I sighed. "I don't know. It would be easier if nobody cared."

Porter smirked. "You're outta luck there."

I grinned. The more I got to know Porter, the better I liked him. I was glad Gina had found someone so solid. I wanted the best for her and her baby. It seemed like Porter fit the bill.

We drove for a good fifteen minutes, and Porter and I settled into talking about work. He wanted to know how it was going, and I skirted the issue of Danny and his nonexistent work ethic. I explained how customers sometimes took advantage of the delivery service to ask us to haul two or three boards.

Porter shook his head. "If that's what they want to do, I guess it's fine."

"I agree," I said. It didn't matter to me whether I was driving a light load or not. I got paid all the same.

Porter turned into a driveway in the middle of a quiet neighborhood. The house was small and square. A few windows set into a brick face with flowers planted all around made for a welcoming image. It wasn't the cabin in the woods that I had been expecting. I wasn't sure why, but Porter struck me as a cabin type of guy. This house was very working class with its neat lawn and clean exterior. I was just about to compliment it when Porter cut me off.

"I want to talk to you about Aly," he said.

I'd been expecting this. "Don't hurt her or you'll run me out of town? It doesn't matter who I'm related to? Is that it?"

"That's it." Porter sighed, putting on the parking brake. "But I mean it."

"Good. I'm glad someone's looking out for her."

We got out of the truck and I grabbed my grocery bag. There was a Kia in the driveway in front of Porter's truck, a cute little cherry-red car that screamed Gina. Growing up, she had always favored reds and pinks and the car looked like an oversized Barbie mobile. I held my breath, knowing that I had passed the point of no return.

I tried to consider why I was so nervous about seeing my sister. With Mom's passing and Dad's constant disapproval, Gina had been the only family member I got along with. George was already on his way to being an addict when I left, and that meant only Gina had understood what I was going through in high school. I didn't have anyone outside the family to talk to. I had been detached from the world and consumed by my own thoughts.

Since the last time we'd seen each other, I had been through a lot. I had seen friends ripped to shreds before my eyes. I had seen women and children killed; entire convoys destroyed. That kind of violence never does good things to a soul. I didn't feel worthy of Gina anymore. I didn't feel worthy of Dad or Porter, but I let those relationships slide. Gina was different—I actually cared about her.

Porter went right up to the door and opened the lock. He stepped inside, gesturing for me to follow. I took a deep breath and stepped in after him. The home opened up in a living room area, with beige carpet and tan leather couches.

Colorful plastic toys were scattered all around the room, poking out from behind the sofa, creating a minefield. The living room ended in a small island that wrapped around the kitchen. To one side, both kitchen and living room merged into a dining alcove, with an oval table big enough to seat six. A hallway branched off opposite the dining area, presumably leading to bedrooms and bathrooms.

Gina was standing in the kitchen, chopping vegetables. She looked up, a wicked knife in one hand. I had a flash of guilt for not stopping by sooner and wondered if she would skewer me in retaliation. Of course, it was a ridiculous thought. She put the blade down and came out from behind the island, grinning from ear to ear.

"Linc!" She threw her arms around me, pressing us together as if the years had meant nothing.

"I'm sorry I didn't—" I began.

She cut me off. "It doesn't matter."

And like that, we were on good terms again. I gave her the flowers, and she found a vase for them, filling it up with water and arranging the petals like an old pro. She emptied the chips into a serving bowl, unscrewing the salsa jar and setting both on the table.

"Where's the baby?" I asked, eager to meet my little nephew.

"He's sleeping," Gina said apologetically.

"Isn't it a little early?" I asked.

Gina and Porter exchanged a knowing glance. "You take naps whenever you can get them."

"He doesn't sleep through the night yet," Porter said, grabbing himself a bottled water from the fridge.

"Is that normal?" I asked.

"Everyone is different," Gina answered.

"Does that mean you guys don't get any sleep?" I wondered if this entire house party was going to be made up of insomniacs.

"He'll give us five hours most nights," Gina said. "We take turns with the three a.m. feedings."

I shook my head. Having a baby seemed like a lot of work. They didn't look exhausted though. They looked happy. And when Porter slipped an arm around Gina's waist to give her a kiss, I knew she had found the right man. Porter took over for Gina in the kitchen, throwing the vegetables into a pan. He pulled a rotisserie chicken out of the fridge and began shredding it, adding meat to the mix.

Gina and I sat in the living room, catching up. "What do you think of the lumberyard?" she asked, neatly skirting the entire issue of war.

"It's fine," I said. "The first day was hard. I wasn't used to that much walking. Now I'm good."

"Porter used to hang out there as a kid," Gina said, glancing over at her lover.

"Yeah." I tried to remember Porter from high school and failed.

"His friend's parents owned the place until they sold it to Dad."

"Dad seems to be happy," I said.

"How are things between you?" Gina asked.

I ran a palm across my head awkwardly. "My landlady told him where I was and he stopped by my first day in town. I haven't seen him too much at work. It's been ok I guess."

"Why did you come back?" Gina asked.

I shrugged. "I didn't have anywhere else to go."

"But you're enjoying your stay?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "It's a good job, good people."

Gina ran her hands down her legs, stopping at her knees. Suddenly our little reunion didn't seem to be going so well. I considered the implicit message in our conversation, that I hadn't chosen to return and that I didn't want to reconnect. It was true that Singer's Ridge had been my fallback and not my destination of choice. And it was true that I had put off seeing Gina again out of cowardice. But I really did like my job and all the people I worked with. And I was growing fond of Aly in a way that made me consider staying.

Just as I was about to explain all of that, the doorbell rang. Gina opened it and leaned out onto the stoop to hug Aly. I heard feminine voices and my outlook brightened. Aly and I had already ironed out all our lingering conflicts. There wasn't anything except the promise of passion between us.

I stood up to join the girls in the entranceway, eager to escape the mistakes I had made. Aly had changed from her work clothes into more casual jeans and a T-shirt. The only thing that gave me pause was the lack of fabric spared for the shirt, how it hugged her chest and cut off just below her navel. If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn she had picked the sexiest T-shirt in her closet.

Or maybe she looked sexy no matter what she wore.

She caught my eye and smiled, reaching around Gina to press her hand into mine. I gave it a squeeze. I didn't think it would be appropriate to hug her or kiss her, even though I longed to taste those lips again. Now wasn't the time, in front of my sister and my boss, but I swore that our time would come. Someday soon, I was going to hold Aly in my arms and take my time undressing her.

Gina's eagle eye settled on our conjoined hands. "I see you guys know each other."

I reluctantly let Aly's hand drop.

"We've had that conversation," Porter said from the kitchen.

"Where's Seth?" Aly moved past us, setting her purse down on the couch.

"He's asleep," Gina said.

"Should we be quiet?" Aly whispered.

Porter shook his head.

"If he wakes up, he wakes up," Gina explained. "Can I get you a soda?"

"Just water," Aly replied.

We settled down to have dinner. Gina gave us all empty plates, and Porter dumped the sautéed veggies and chicken into a communal dish. We passed it around, each filling our plate with as much or as little as we wanted. With the chips and dip, we had a feast. It was actually pretty good and, from what I had witnessed, fairly easy.

"I've been eating nothing but sandwiches and boiled eggs," I said.

Porter laughed. "When I got home from rehab, the only things I ate were fruit and nuts."

"Nuts are good," I agreed.

"It's not like we're making four-course dinners," Gina said.

"It's good," I told her. "Protein and fiber and easy to cook."

"That's the goal." She skewered a crown of broccoli.

Before I knew it, I had signed up for a mini cooking lesson, for which I was going to have to return to Gina's house. It was okay. I was eager to do anything that might relieve the feeling of betrayal I was sure I had created by avoiding her. I hopped up to do the dishes, ignoring Gina's protests.

"You've got the baby to worry about," I said, hunting out the soap.

She smiled and relaxed back into her chair. It felt like the walls were coming down, as if we could be a family again. I looked over at Aly to find her watching me. Instead of getting lost in my head, I winked at her, making her blush and turn away. Yeah, I was definitely going to get her alone again, and when I did, all bets were off.