Chapter 21

MIKE

Ididn't see Tammy in the morning at all. When I got up for work, her bedroom door was closed. I thought about knocking, but I didn't know what to say. Nothing short of the entire story was going to make any difference, and after so long, I didn't know if I had it in me to lay everything on the table. Of course, I would have to. Tammy deserved that much. It would just take more courage than I had at the moment, and maybe even a bigger set of balls.

I went to work and tried to focus on my job. If I had thought that obsessing over Tammy's phone number had been torture, worrying about our future was even worse. I knew I had let her down. The fact that she had returned to the cabin without question, that she wasn't afraid of me, did not escape my notice. Maybe I wasn't giving her enough credit. Maybe she would understand if I just gave her a chance. I resolved to tell her the whole sordid truth as soon as I got home that night. If she wanted to leave me, I would just have to deal with that.

The manager found me stacking four-by-fours and asked me to go see my dad. I took my gloves off, thrusting them into my back pocket. Dad was in his office, working on the computer. He looked up with sympathy and came around the desk.

"I'm so sorry about last night," Dad said, grabbing my arm.

I returned the gesture before dropping into a chair. "I'm sorry too."

"I swear, I didn't know that Tammy didn't know." Dad retreated to his swivel seat. "But apparently your mom did know that you hadn't told her and decided to take it upon herself."

"Apparently," I agreed.

"That doesn't make it right," Dad continued, "but I'm not sure all the yelling helped."

"No." I hung my head. My mom always brought out the worst in me. No matter how many times I resolved to be nicer to her, she had a way of pushing my buttons. "She promised she wouldn't tell Tammy."

"I know," Dad said.

"I'm sorry if I caused a fight between you and Mom."

"We did argue," Dad admitted, "but we're okay now. We agreed that we like Tammy. She was very courteous, even after the incident."

I smiled.

"Can I assume she knows the whole story now?" Dad asked.

I drew in a breath, avoiding the answer.

Dad understood and gave me a fierce look. "You should have told her sooner. Now you owe her an explanation."

"I know," I said. "I thought about it already. I'm going to tell her as soon as I get home."

Dad nodded his approval. "Okay. Well, I just wanted to clear the air."

"Consider it cleared." I stood up.

I stepped out the door, wondering how long it would take for me to calm down enough to talk to my mom again. I certainly wasn't going to attempt it today. I drove into town on my lunch break, considering stopping by the salon to talk to Tammy. But what I had to tell her was so long and involved, we really needed several hours of alone time to hash it out. And I didn't want to cause a scene at her place of business, so I passed the salon and pulled in at the taco shop to grab some lunch.

When I got home, I was sure Tammy would be there, but her car was missing. I almost texted her twice, each time talking myself out of it. Maybe she was working late. Maybe she was eating out with Macy or Lindsey. She hadn't texted me to tell me where she would be, and why should she? I wasn't her husband or her father. I was just a man who had lied to her and encouraged her to sign a lease under false pretenses.

Feeling sorry for myself, I went inside. There was a note from Tammy on the table.

I've gone to Macy's. I need time to think.

I picked it up, rubbing the paper with my thumb. It was pink with blue lines, like something torn out of a childhood diary. I pulled out my phone to call her. I didn't care how much of an ass I had been at that point; I needed to make this right.

"Hello," she answered, sounding sad.

"Hi," I said, resigned. "I got your message."

"I'm gonna stay here for a few days."

"I'll tell you the whole story," I offered, hoping to change her mind.

"I just need some time to think," she repeated. "Goodbye."

I stared at the phone, almost in shock. I couldn't believe that my beautiful girlfriend was gone. We had just begun to get close, just confessed our feelings for each other, and now it was over. I wasn't a fool. Time to think at her cousin's house meant plenty of discussions of how much of a creep I was. I should have told her at the beginning. I shouldn't have been so selfish. Every moment we had shared together came back to me in one great montage of feelings and emotions. In such a short time, she had become the best part of my life. And now I was about to lose her. There wasn't anything I could do but stay away and let her come to me on her own terms. I made up my mind that if I was given a second chance, I wouldn't waste it. I would cherish every minute with her and never be dishonest again.