Chapter 19

MIKE

There was no way around it—I ran the entire evening over in my head again and again. Something was definitely up with Tammy. The flowers I bought to cheer her up had made her cry, and she avoided being in the same room with me whenever she could. I was relieved to see she had chosen to sleep in my bed. If she hadn't, I would have confronted her. There was definitely something more than a common cold that was wrong. But what could it be? We had only just moved in together. Surely, I hadn't committed any grievous error in two short days.

I was at work, mulling over my predicament, when lunchtime arrived. I had been trying to ignore my break and thought I might just work through it. But the manager found me and told me to take my time. He didn't want any problems with the labor department, and I didn't blame him. I just didn't want free time today.

With nothing to focus on, my thoughts immediately returned to Tammy. She had been physically sick this morning. I heard her throwing up in the bathroom. Yet, when I tried to convince her to take the day off, she assured me she was fine. And even though we had spent three nights in the same bed, we still hadn't christened the house. I was beginning to wonder if I had made a mistake.

Tammy before the house was bubbly, funny, and loving. Tammy in the house was evasive and miserable. I decided that I would talk to her when I got home. Whatever I had done to offend her, I had to apologize for it. We could put it behind us and get back to the wild abandon we displayed at the lake.

I literally couldn't think of anything I wanted to do on my break, so I found my feet wandering home. I opened the kitchen door and called out. Mom appeared from the living room, wearing her reading glasses.

"Mike," she said. "It's nice to see you."

I couldn't tell if there was anything disapproving in the statement, so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. "It's nice to see you too."

"Your father told me he met the girl you moved in with," Mom said, taking me by the elbow and leading me to the kitchen table.

"Yeah," I confirmed.

She pointed to a chair, leaving me no choice but to obey. "I'd like to meet her."

I frowned. "I don't know…"

"Why not?" She hunted through the refrigerator for leftovers.

"You know why not," I said, dreading the development of this conversation. I was locked into lunch at this point and had to defend my decision to keep Mom and Tammy apart.

"No, I do not know why not." She slammed a Tupperware onto the counter.

"You're going to tell her about my conviction."

"You haven't told her?" She scooped a piece of lasagna onto a plate and stuck it in the microwave.

"No," I sighed.

"You moved in with her and you didn't tell her that you have a criminal record?" Mom fussed.

"I didn't tell her because I'm not a criminal, and I'm not dangerous. I'll tell her when I'm ready, but not before."

The microwave beeped, and Mom took the plate out, setting it in front of me with a fork. I took two bites of it before she went to the cabinet and found another one of those goddamned drug tests. I slammed my fork down, swallowing what little I had managed to chew. It was actually pretty good.

"Mom!"

"Don't you start with me," she snapped.

"This is why I don't want you to meet her." I stood up, ready to go.

"If you don't invite me over for dinner, I'll just show up one day and have a little chat with this young lady," Mom threatened, her face flushing with anger.

I stood there, debating for a long moment. Finally, I picked up the test and stormed into the bathroom. A moment later I was back, staring daggers at the woman who had brought me into the world.

"I'll invite you over for dinner, but you have to promise to keep quiet," I said, bargaining for what little concession I could get.

Mom sighed. "Okay, I won't say anything. I'm just worried about you. I know you say you're innocent, but if you do have a drug problem, it would do you no favors if I ignored it."

I shook my head. "I would so much prefer you to ignore it."

"That is exactly what I will not do." Mom pointed a finger at me. "Are you going to finish your lunch?"

"I'm not hungry," I offered lamely.

"Well, I don't want to throw it out," she grumbled.

I couldn't win. I came for a free meal and had to eat shit. I sat back down to finish the plate, staring straight ahead, not engaging. Mom went into the bathroom to check the test results. She came back to tell me that I was clean and to thank me for cooperating. I finished my lunch and left, kissing her once on the cheek without feeling. Now I had even more on my mind than before. Sure, Mom had promised not to spill the beans, but would she live up to that promise when she actually met Tammy? There was only one way to know, and I was afraid I was going to find out.

Iwas actually dreading walking through my front door. I had worked toward my own space forever it seemed, found the perfect girl to share it with, and now I didn't want to cross the threshold. I stood trying to talk myself into it for half a minute before sliding my key into the lock. A heavenly scent took me away from my struggles as I walked in to see Tammy in the kitchen. She was making chicken—my chicken, but she was using some combination of spices I had never smelled before.

"Hello," I said.

"Hello." She switched off the stove and came to kiss me. It wasn't an invitation to tear her clothes off, but it wasn't a sisterly kiss either. The combination of the cooking and the greeting calmed me down considerably.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Better," she said. "I'm sorry if I was rude yesterday. I got some news, and I didn't know what to do with it."

I put my keys down and joined her in the kitchen. "What kind of news?"

She shook her head. "I'll tell you later."

"Is it serious?"

She grabbed two plates and split the chicken in half. "It is serious, but not bad."

"Oh." I mulled that over. Serious but not bad. Could be about money, or maybe about her family. Whatever it was, I had to let it go. She'd promised to tell later, and I had to accept that. God knew I had my own secret that I was hesitating to share.

"Do you have anything you want to tell me?" she asked, as if she could read my thoughts.

Since we were being so honest, and since I had come in here with the intention of having a difficult conversation, I took a play from her book. "I do. But I'm waiting for the right time."

"Okay." She seemed to accept my logic, and just like that, we were good again. She grabbed a beer from the fridge and handed it to me.

"You're not drinking?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I'm gonna have juice."

We sat at the table and ate our chicken, and it was back to being wonderful.

"Did you get sick at work?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, I managed. How about you, how was your day?"

"Oh." I remembered lunch. "My mom wants to meet you."

"Okay," she agreed.

I held up a hand to indicate caution. "She's extremely critical, so we don't get along that well." Tammy nodded her understanding. "But she threatened to ambush you if I didn't bring you over."

Tammy giggled, wrapping one hand around her mouth like an embarrassed teen. I fell into those deep hazel eyes and wanted to wrap myself around her. Sitting at the kitchen table in her pajamas, she looked so innocent, like a unicorn that had wandered out of the forest and into my home. As I watched, she straightened and sobered.

"What are we, Mike?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Are we friends? Roommates? Or is there something more?"

"I thought we were dating." I looked into her eyes, imagining the softness of her lips. "I'm not seeing anyone else. I accidentally called you my girlfriend when I was talking to the owner of this cabin."

"Really?" She fawned, batting her eyelashes. It was adorable.

"Really. I mean, do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

She presented her hand to me in mock ceremony, and I kissed it. "I accept."

I let our hands fall, still entwined, to the surface of the table. "I've never had a serious relationship before."

"I know," she said.

"So, I might make some mistakes, and I'll need you to be honest and understanding." I hoped to encourage her to be more open in the future. I wanted to be with her, but I didn't want to feel the way I had felt all day. It had been torture not knowing if she was angry at me, feeling worried and helpless at the same time.

"I will. But you're doing a great job." She got up from her chair and came to sit on my lap.

I watched her descend with fascination. This was more action than I had gotten in the last three days combined. She allowed me to place my hands on her thighs, to hold her as she picked up my chin. Her kiss was sweet and lingering, provoking the obvious reaction. We made love, dispelling all of my fears in one glorious act. Now the house finally felt like home, and Tammy felt like my girlfriend. We were on the verge of something great, facing the world as a couple. There were just those two pesky little secrets standing in our way.