14. Meredith

14

MEREDITH

A s I hop on the back of yet another bike, Trap's kiss is still running like electricity through my body. He's the one I know the least, but the first one to really take the initiative to make it clear that he wants something from me. I can't say I don't want it too.

But I find myself thinking of Dart and Grizzly as well, feeling almost guilty as I ride off on the back of the bike of someone named Rap. Well, that isn't his real name, but it's what he goes by here.

I remember the way Grizzly kept getting hard every time he looked at me, though he was gentlemanly enough not to act on it. The way he was so possessive and protective of me all night, watching over me. And I let myself think about it for a few moments—what it would be like to be protected by him for the rest of my life…how his big, strong hands would feel on my body. It's not like I have a lot of experience to go by, but I think it would be pretty freaking hot.

But Dart, something about him makes me feral. It's an out-of-body experience. I wish it was him who kissed me first, and judging by his behavior with Trap, I think he probably feels the same way. I hope their little talk doesn't involve broken noses. I would hate for that to happen over me.

My dad doesn't even make a fuss over me. Not enough of one, anyway.

I put my focus on my dad and whatever the hell he's going to say when I reach him. I don't know if I'm going to yell at him and be mad, or if I'll be grateful he's alive and forgive him… There are so many possibilities, and I haven't had enough time to process everything to be sure how I feel about him in all of this mess.

Other than the way I usually feel about him, which is that he's irresponsible and never should've been a father. But it's way too late to turn back now.

Rap is quiet and kind, and he doesn't drive crazy like the others. Though, that's kind of disappointing. I'm afraid I'll never get a night like that again, that now that I'm safe, all the excitement will just wear off and I'll end up in the background of their lives again. I'll be nothing.

And that sounds boring as hell. It seems like a waste. If I get nothing else out of this, I hope the experience will wake me up in my life.

I still want to go to school and focus on that, and get to a point where I can help people—especially those in the situation I was put in. But that doesn't mean I can't have fun along the way, or that I can't have relationships. I'm at the time in my life where I should be having those things, but taking care of my father has stunted my entire life.

I'm dying to tell Addy and Harlow all of this, except…how can I tell my best friend that this is all about not just any three members of the MC, but that her father is one of them? I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, but hopefully, when the time comes, she'll remember her own situation and not judge me.

We pull up to the meeting spot my father asked for. It's outside of Vegas, at a large Asian market. It's somewhere I've never been, and I wouldn't expect him to be here either. But I'm sure that's the point, if he really did owe as much as they're making it out to be.

I hope that what was bid on me paid it off, and I never have to hear from the Russians again, but I doubt it'll be so simple, especially after all the years my father's been gambling and doing other iniquitous things. He probably has a whole hell of a lot of bad guy CEOs chasing after him.

I ask Rap to park and wait for me so he can take me back to campus afterward. I don't want to risk asking my father for a ride, in case he's drunk. I go inside like the email instructed, and I find him down one of the frozen aisles, pushing a cart along as if he belongs here and is actually shopping. Though, there's nothing in his cart.

I fall in stride beside him, waiting for him to say anything of use. He finally breaks the silence by clearing his throat.

"I received a message that my debt has been paid off. But they're still looking for me." He whispers the last part, looking around like he expects to be jumped at any point. If anyone should look like that, it should be me.

I shoot him a look, knowing there's a question somewhere in what he's saying as well. I hope he gets it without me having to spell it out.

"I was afraid they got you involved. You know, I told you we needed to run."

"Well, it looks like you didn't get very far anyway. Besides, everything I said before still applies. I have a life. I deserve to live it without worrying about your debts and your responsibilities. I don't even understand why you got involved with them, Dad. You know, I know some people drink because life is harsh for them, but you, you take your life to a lower level. The thing is, your life would be so perfect and great if you didn't drown yourself in alcohol and gamble away every penny you have."

I'm fuming. I'm ready to just leave, leave him behind for good. But he grabs my arm, then releases it gently when I look at him like I might karate chop him.

"I never meant to do this to you. To drag you into my own problems. When your mother died…"

I shake my head and grit my teeth. "Do not bring her into this. She would be ashamed of this behavior. Honestly, I'm done being in danger because of you, and I'm done taking care of you. You should know that I got out by the skin of my teeth. That Harlow's father and his associates just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and they saved me. Do you know what your friends meant to do to me?"

"Please, keep it down," he begs as a couple people across from us give us a look.

"Fine. I'll keep it down, and you keep me out of this stuff. Because I'm not interested in being trafficked. I'm certainly not interested in my virginity being for sale."

I say it like that because I want to shock him. From the look on his face, I've been successful. I doubt I'm going to get anything else out of him, though.

"Now, if you want in any way to start making up for everything you've done to me, you can give me information by email, or by text once I can get a new phone, however you see fit to get it to me, about whatever you know about these people. That way, the professionals can get rid of them and maybe you can clean up your life for once. By yourself."

I turn to walk out of the store, not even able to look him in the eye anymore. He looked shocked, but not apologetic. Of course, I should have expected that. He probably sees himself as the victim, like he always has.

He actually thinks he's the only one who lost my mother. And he uses it as an excuse.

I get back to where Rap is parked, and when he drops me off at the dorm there's a prospect waiting for me with a new phone. I feel a small thrill at Grizzly's thoughtfulness, but then remind myself that it's probably just a practical gift.

I'm walking up the stairs when I get a text message from Dart.

Hey sweetheart, I need you to meet me at this address in a couple hours. In truth, I wasn't supposed to tell you what it's about but I want to tell you anyway.

It cuts off there, but I wait to see if there's more.

Sure enough, the next text message comes within thirty seconds.

We're all going to try to stake our claims. You're going to have to choose one of us. I sure as hell hope it's me.

Heat crawls into my core. It settles there, and in my cheeks as well. I swear if I look around it's going to be all over my face.

I'm being offered a chance to choose between three men.

But this is too much fun. Way too much fun for a good girl like me. And I'm afraid I might use it to my advantage.

I think of Harlow, and I get the craziest idea I've had in my whole life. If she can have her men, why can't I have all three?

The address comes through. I smirk and unlock the door to my dorm room with the extra key under the mat. I'm going to dress strategically, and then I want to meet them with confidence. I'll tell them I expect I can have all of them, or I will have none.