Chapter 11

Chapter 11

RILEY

Everything fucking hurts,from my toes to the tips of my hair. I’m on fucking fire—skin-melting, bone-charring—burning from the inside out fire. I want to scream—to claw at my throat, everywhere the fire licks—but the smallest movement sends scorching flames and pain rippling through my body.

Fuck ... someone make it fucking stop.

A track of wetness travels down my cheek. A mental sigh washes through me with the mercy the simple tear provides, a cooling sensation against the scorching. More tears flow from behind my burning eyes, and a warm hand cups my cheek as a finger wipes them away.

No, please. Leave it.

Gods, I want to open my mouth. I want to voice the pain, the heat boiling in my veins, the panic rising up inside of me. I want to know what the hell is happening to me. I want to open my eyes and face my tormentor.

A swimming sensation fills my mind, and a heaviness wraps around me, pulling me down into a pit of oblivion. Into the darkness, to merciful relief.

A groan vibratesin the back of my throat and tremor ripples through my body. Coming back from the darkness is an agonizing and torturous process. The fire burning just under the surface is still present but dulled slightly. There’s a peaceful warmth seeping into me from under my cheek, and I can’t help but nuzzle my nose into it, breathing in the fresh scent of sandalwood and oranges. The scent relaxes the burning and restlessness crawling under my skin, giving me some relief from the torment my body is causing me.

I nuzzle deeper into that scent, wrapping it around me like a protective cloak. The more I take in, the further the burning sensations recede, releasing my lungs and allowing me to breathe again. My hands fist the material under my face, and the pillow I’m resting on releases a deep, throaty growl that vibrates through me.

My eyes snap open, and I am met by a pair of sable brown eyes flecked with a shimmering gold. Frozen, I stare into those eyes. There’s a warmth behind these eyes that tells me not to be afraid. A desire to protect and comfort shines in their depths.

My wolf perks up as I dive deeper into his eyes, and they start to glow with the light of an inner animal. A gasp of shock escapes me. I’ve seen those eyes. Recognizing his wolf, my own prances around with excitement, filling me with a sense of peace.

I should be terrified right now, being like this in the arms of a stranger. As though reading my thoughts, his arms tighten around me. However, lying in his arms like this, all I feel is safety and belonging.

As his wolf calls to mine, and she responds in kind. The contentment she feels right now is peaceful and welcomed. She’s been on edge for so long, much of that is of my own doing, and the last thing I want is to deny her this. I nuzzle a little closer, instinctually rubbing my nose along his neck, almost like I’m marking him.

His eyes are fixed on mine as I lean in, and I’m memorized by his pupils as they react to my nearness. The warmth of his breath caresses along my cheek. Bracing my hands on his chest, I sit up slightly, sliding one leg across his lap until I’m straddling him.

My gaze travels to where my hand rests over his heart. It’s beating so fast, like a hammer against its cage under my palm. My eyes meet his once again, and as his body responds to my move, his heart skips a beat. That pull of trust from in the alley is there again, strong and complete. I trust him, and I don’t trust anyone anymore.

“You saved my life,” I whisper to him. “Why? You don’t even know me.”

He raises an eyebrow at that last part. “Why not?” His voice is deep and rich. A soothing balm to my frayed nerves.

“Well, I’m nobody. People just don’t go around fucking saving people for the hell of it.” I narrow my eyes at him. “What’s your angle?”

He chuckles at my interrogation, apparently amused by my logic. And fuck me, if I don’t want to hear it again. “My angle, huh? Well, first off, we’re not your run of the mill humans, babe, we’re shifters. Secondly, I guess you could say my motives were completely selfish. I have a personal stake in keeping you safe. Which I know you feel.”

Yeah, I know how he’s feeling with me sitting here the way I am, I’ve been trying to ignore it. But when he shifts like that.…

His hands slide up my thighs to rest on my lower back. He pulls me closer as he whispers, “And just so you know. I do know you. You are Riley Wright. However, I have a lot to learn about who you are. I’ll spend a lifetime learning everything there is to learn about you.”

My heart flutters at his pronouncement, and my wolf jumps to the forefront, eager to meet her mate. Her push and his wolf’s pull to connect is strong and overwhelming. I attempt to force it down, deny the urge to give into her claim.

I meet his glowing gaze, knowing his wolf is riding him just as hard. The reflection of my own glowing irises shine in his eyes. My wolf pushes at my mind until I’m a stranger in my own body, watching but having no control.

He leans up, his lips finding my ear, creating a shiver that runs down my spine. My physical reaction spurs his wolf on, and he peppers kisses from my ear down along my jaw, landing on my neck, causing me to squirm under his lips. “To learn what makes you shiver and squirm.” His tone takes on a new deeper, more gravel texture, the more this wolf takes control. His lips trail down to the crook where my shoulder and neck meet. He nips at the sensitive skin there, drawing a gasp from me. “To learn what makes you gasp and moan.” His fangs descend, poking at the juncture where a mate would bite.

Oh, my fucking gods!Nope. No, not happening. I bite my tongue, trying to hold back my wolf’s encouraging moan attempting to escape. My back arches slightly of its own volition to give him better access.

His left hand caresses over my ass, while his right slides up into my hair, brushing along a tender spot.

The spark of pain loosens my wolf’s grip, allowing me to regain control.

Pushing against his chest, I put space between us. We are both breathing heavily at this point. "Pause, my wolf is … I … I don’t even know your name." The ending comes out in a blur of words to shift the topic of focus.

My mate. Mine, my wolf growls at me.

“Fuck.” I draw in a harsh breath as he adjusts himself under me. “Name?” I breathlessly ask.

“Enzo,” he whispers in my ear before biting my earlobe.

“Oh, gods.” My body heats up again, the flames licking from under my skin. “What is happening to me?”

I nuzzle my nose against his neck, breathing in his scent again. The flames die back while a feral rumble vibrates in my chest. Mine.

“Oh, fuck,” I mutter as I jump off his lap. Attempting to stand, my knees buckle, and I sit on the edge of the bed. My wolf pushes at my mind again, pleading to get back to her mate. It’s him, he’s making her stronger.

No. We can’t.

“Riley, what’s wrong?” The concern in his voice jolts me back to reality. We don’t know each other well enough to be showing that level of concern. I don’t want to be on that level. Not now, not ever, not with anyone.

“Nothing. I just need to go,” I reply, looking around for my shoes and other belongings. Air caresses along my bare thighs, catching my attention, and I notice for the first time I’m wearing someone else’s clothes. I grab the oversized shirt at my belly and everything that happened comes flooding back. Every touch, every movement, every emotion, and every thought.

I sense the panic rising from deep within me. Not now. Not here.

An invisible hand wraps around my heart, squeezing as it races faster, trying to break free. Rapid breaths ignite a fire in my lungs, unable to get enough oxygen. My mind floods with the feeling of being knocked to the ground in that alley, and my ass hits the floor.

Wrapping a hand around my throat, I try to dislodge the lump forming there as a silent cry sits heavy on my tongue. I can feel the smoothness of the wood floor under me, but my mind sees the gravel and dirt alley behind the bar.

Let me go, I beg my mind.

Enzo kneels in front of me, his hands rubbing over my knees, trying to soothe me, but every touch sends my panic higher. I can hear his muffled voice in the back of my mind as he tries to use the same calming words he used before.

Trapped in the alley, glass cuts into my hands as I crawl away from my attacker. Big, calloused hands grab my shoulders. I scream and my fists fly uncontrolled. Unrelenting, the strong hands on my shoulders slide up and cup my face, forcing me to turn and face Reed’s wide blue eyes.

“Riley, I need you to hear me. You’re having a panic attack. Focus on me.” He turns my face side to side. “Focus on my eyes, Riley.”

Gods, these eyes are intense. So much emotion is flashing through them. Concern, understanding, determination, and I think that last one is fear.

“Good girl, stay with me. There are three shades of blue in them. Can you find them?”

I try to focus on the colors of his eyes, picking through each shade to separate them in my mind. Slowly, I nod my head when I can see the shades of blue.

“That’s it, now take a deep breath with me, and then we’re going to let it out.” He takes one of my hands, places it on his chest. Taking an exaggerated breath in, he holds it, and I follow his lead, taking a deep breath of my own. As he exhales, I follow suit. We do this a few more times. Deep breath in and slowly letting it out. In … Out … In … Out.

Reed stops, but I continue until the alley fades, and I find myself in a dark, modern-style bedroom with a king-size bed at my back. Modern abstract art decorates the walls, and a concerned giant stares at me. Reed sits on his knees, one hand on my cheek and the other holding my hand on his chest over his heart. His hair is in a state of distress, which is almost comical considering he’s usually so well put together, slick hair and a tailored business suit that shows off his broad shoulders and muscular frame. He thought I never noticed him in the bar—watching me, studying my every move—but I did. I just didn’t want the attention I knew his wolf was trying to give me.

“Reed?” My voice comes out as a breathy, harsh whisper, as though someone rubbed sandpaper along my vocal cords. “What happened?”

Blood trickles from Reed’s nose, and there are four angry red scratches along his right cheek. “Let’s just say you’ve got a mean right hook, trouble, and claws for nails.” There’s no anger or pity in his voice, only understanding and acceptance, mixed with a bit of humor and pride.

His acceptance of the weakness in my most vulnerable state ignites my nerves, and I look away, unable to maintain his eye contact.

“Do not do that.” He grips my chin and lifts my face. My eyes stay closed, still unable to look at him. “Do not hide from me.” The sternness in his voice has my eyes shooting open, and my wolf wanting to challenge him for dominance. If the grin on his face is any indication, that’s exactly what he wanted.

“Point taken,” I state matter-of-factly, and he releases my chin. “How did you do that? I’ve never been able to come out of a panic attack like that.”

Reed falls the rest of the way to sit fully on the floor with me. Gently wiping the blood from under his nose on a handkerchief, causing me to wince. He shrugs a shoulder at my reaction as if to say, no big deal, before continuing on. “PTSD is nothing new to me, Riley. After years spent serving in the military, I’ve seen many soldiers come back so messed up they can’t function on the most basic levels. I’ve learned how to help them in dealing with their emotional baggage, not to mention my own struggles.” That catches my attention.

My face must show my shock because Reed shimmies around to sit beside me. He bumps my shoulder with his and says, “PTSD is nothing to be ashamed of, Riley. We all have our breaking points. From the scars on your wrists, the bottle of pills that were in your bag, and the diet of alcohol, I’m not surprised you’ve hit yours. I’m just grateful I’m here in time to maybe help you get through it. That is, if you’ll let me.”

“And what’s your price, Reed? Because nothing comes free, there is always a price to be paid.” With that, I stand up. It’s a struggle, but I manage to find the balance and smooth down the borrowed shirt I’m dressed in, which falls to knee length and smells of Reed.

“Riley, look⁠—”

“Where’s Enzo?” I cut him off, not wanting to talk about me and my shit-show of a past. He lets me drop the subject, but I know we’re nowhere close to being done talking about this. Reed is a dog with a bone, and he’s still gnawing on this one.

“In the living room with the rest of the guys, I think,” he replies, getting to his feet.

I head towards what I hope is the door to get out of this room and not the bathroom or closet. Just as I’m about to open the door, there’s a chuckle from behind me. Fuck me, wrong door. I glare over my shoulder at Reed, promises of pain radiating from my eyes. He covers his mouth with his hand and nods towards the door on his right.

I storm out the door, and I’m halfway down the hall when I collide with a rock wall. Okay, well, not a rock wall per se, but fuck, it feels like it to my nose. I stumble back a step, holding my nose as tears pool in my eyes.

“Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”