14. Ryanne “Shorty” Larwick

14

RYANNE "SHORTY" LARWICK

Khadri folded in on himself.

Each time I entered a room with him, he'd find a reason to leave. Aside from speaking about what was happening with me, he had nothing else to say to me. He'd been driving me from the house we were staying back, back into the countryside every few days to spend time with Morgana and Theodore, and usually he wouldn't stay.

A few times he would—but only because Morgana asked him to. He seemed to have a very soft spot for her, and all his smiles and tenderness was now reserved for her.

"Hey, Ryanne." Todd sauntered in the room. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing." I replied while helping Theodore take his medication. "Why?"

"There's a party in the square later," Todd said. "Want to go with me?"

"Um—" I paused to hand Theodore the water. "Sure."

The moment I answered I realized Khadri had been standing at the backdoor, watching us. Todd smirked but Khadri merely walked over to hunch down beside Theordore to show him something on his phone.

"That is something." Theodore beamed. "Can you imagine how far technology has come?"

"It's awesome—but when I was in, I found it hard to depend on that on the battlefield. "Khadri told him. "It wasn't that I didn't trust the people I worked with to make sure things worked—but tech glitch, you know? Some of these we had to find manually."

"How did you find these buried bombs?" Theodore asked.

"One of my people had a dog trained to find them," he replied.

"A dog?" Theodore cheered. "Ain't that somethin'?"

"It was amazing to watch them work." Khadri agreed.

"That is cool." Theodore laughed. "That is very cool."

Khadri rose leaving my grandfather to go through the images on his phone and exited the house again through the same back door. I wasn't sure what to think—and while I wanted to change my mind about going out with Todd that night, I didn't.

I was never the girl anyone invited anywhere.

This would be my first party—at my age—it was shameful.

As I dressed later that night, after Theodore was in bed, Morgana knocked on the door to the room I'd been using and stuck her head.

"You know you're making a mistake, don't you?" Morgana asked, sitting on the side of my bed with a box in her hand.

"With what?"

"You're going out with the wrong man tonight." Morgana told me. "I have a feeling you already knew that."

I blinked at her.

"That's not how it works." I explained to her. "I'm going out with the man who asked."

"Just because he asked, doesn't make him the right one."

"I—"

"And when exactly was Khadri supposed to ask?" Morgana asked. "When you were taking romantic walks on the beach with another man? When you were sitting in the back drinking a beer with another man? When you were giggling at something this other man was saying—to him, you're falling in love with Todd and it's breaking his heart."

"Why doesn't he say so?"

"Are you new?" Morgana wanted to know.

She sighed and made for the door then stopped with her free hand on the knob.

"I know I have no right to give you advice," Morgana said. "That time has passed, I think. But it doesn't seem as you know that when a man sees the apple of his eyes happy—a real man let her be happy despite him blowing up the bridge he's standing on to make that happen. If you go out with Todd tonight, you will lose Khadri. That kind of betrayal very rarely gets forgiven."

After she left, I thought about it, but a honk outside the house had me grabbing my purse and darting down the stairs, excitement filling my chest.

Khadri was in the kitchen peering into a pot of leftovers and while he looked up, he said nothing. He merely returned his vision to the pot.

I left the house knowing what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't turn back now.

My ego wouldn't let me.

As Todd to my hand to lead me to the passenger side of his car, I looked up at the house to see if Khadri was watching. For some reason, I wanted him to see me doing this—to see me being a woman with someone other than him.

I knew the thought was wrong, but I wanted him to be jealous of Todd, to snap out of trying to spare me and made me behave.

But even as I turned in my seat and the car drew farther and farther away, Khadri never once looked out.

He never once became jealous.

The party was loud and not my thing.

Maybe if I had been there with the Khadri I would feel differently.

While Todd offered to buy me a drink, I declined and purchased my own. Though I hit the dance floor with him, his closeness made me uncomfortable.

His touch didn't feel like real or like Khadri's.

His hands on my hips irritated me.

His want to grind against my ass pissed me off.

The crowd made me uneasy as I wasn't used to this kind of gathering.

I'd spent years I should be doing all this kind of rebelling passed me by as I tried making money to keep myself from being homeless or starving to death.

But I couldn't stop thinking of Khadri and the strange immaturity that rushed through me, that pushed me into coming out with this man.

One thing I learned from all of this was I didn't want some other man holding me.

I didn't want some other man touching me in that way only lovers did, and I hated Todd trying to push up against me.

Strange, the first time Khadri approached me from behind all I felt was excitement. And when he'd wrapped his arms around me, I knew I was safe.

Excusing myself, I found the bathroom that wasn't much of a one. It was a room attached to the party venue made of zinc nailed together.

I kept watching the slits, looking for someone who might be peeking in on me.

In the end, I decided not to pee—instead I washed my hands and wandered outside to exhale.

I was cut off from the world and it wasn't until then that I noticed it.

My cell phone wouldn't have worked here.

And I'd given Khadri back his.

Sitting on the sidewalk, I rubbed my eyes.

Somehow, I survived the night out and I couldn't get out of Todd's car fast enough. I didn't stop to wish him goodnight—instead I motored it into the house to find Morgana in the living room, watching one of her taped soap operas.

"Did he stay?" I wanted to know.

"Did who stay?" She shoved a piece of potato pudding into her mouth but didn't tear her eyes away from Victor Newman.

"Khadri."

I was frustrated.

"No."

"Why didn't you stop him?" I demanded.

Morgana paused her stories to turn to look at me with her head cocked to one side. For a bit she said nothing.

"Would you stay?" She asked. "I told you that you were making a mistake. I gave you the out—you chose not to take it."

"I can't believe he left."

Morgana sighed. "Well, look at that. If it isn't the consequences of your actions."

I wanted to scream.

"He'll be back to pick you up tomorrow." She pressed play on her remote again and refocused on the soap opera.

Hanging my head, I ran up the stairs and locked myself into my bedroom knowing I wouldn't be able to talk to him until he returned to pick me up.

Bright and early, I was awake, showered, dressed and waiting. But after ten when I thought it was Khadri pulling into the yard, I rushed to the door to see it was Todd.

Irritated, I found my purse and borrowed Morgana's phone to call Tex. Though he was reluctant, he told me where to find Khadri and I called a taxi.

The driver was chatty.

All I wanted was for him to shut the fuck up and let me thing.

The moment he pulled up at the restaurant, I all but tossed money at him and scrambled from the back seat.

"Eh!" You gave me too?—"

"Keep the change!" I called, hurrying to the door.

The place was quaint. It seemed like a house that was converted into what seemed to be a very fancy place. I found Khadri on the back patio having the time of his life with a pretty black woman with braids down to her ass.

Wow—all the women he knows look like models.

I accepted a seat close by, but out of his sightline.

"You never liked braids," Khadri said. "What's changed?"

"I became a mother." She spoke. "When you have two under the age of five running around—who has time to do their hair? And you know how crazy my hair can get on the best of days."

"But you're Superwoman."

"Superwoman can kiss the blackest part of my ass." The woman laughed. "Zero tries to help with my hair situation, bless his heart."

Khadri laughed.

"How's life in Germany?" He asked around a sip from his mug.

"Busy." She replied. "The new restaurant keeps me busy during the day and the kids and Zero drives me crazy at nights."

"You love it."

"Is it that obvious?" She asked with a dramatic sigh.

"You suck at hiding your feelings, Bailey. I can read the happiness off you."

She leaned over to touch his shoulder.

"He's a good man, Moros." Bailey explained. "I know when I told you I was marrying him you weren't all the way on board. You really don't have to worry about me anymore."

"I know he's a good man. If he wasn't Nitro would have castrated him already."

"Gruesome, but true." Bailey giggled. "I am a lucky girl. So—what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Some lucky woman hasn't scooped you up yet?" She wanted to know. "Nitro is single."

He scoffed.

"No thank you. I enjoy having my male appendage still attached to my body, thank you very much." He paused to rip off a piece of his fish, inspected it—I figured for the tiny bones—then popped it into his mouth. "There was someone I met recently. I thought—shit, I don't know what I thought. Turns out she didn't have my back as I thought she did."

"What?"

"The moment she got here it was as if—I know she's going through some things. I was trying to give her space." His voice faltered. "I was trying to give her space because I know I can be a bit much. But it turns out her issue wasn't space."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

Bailey cocked her head to the side. "What was it then?"

Khadri pointed to his face.

"Damn." Bailey's voice cracked. "I'm sorry, little brother."

"And she started dating someone else." Khadri added.

My soul hurt.

She then reached a cross to rest a hand on top of his.

"It's her loss." Bailey explained. "A woman who can't look pass the physical and see you, doesn't deserve you. And if anyone tells you that you're not a good-looking man needs to get their eyes checked."

"You're my friend." Khadri laughed. "You have to say that."

"You know better."

"I've never been a vain man, right?"

"Right." Bailey replied.

"But knowing she things I'm ugly hurts—and I don't even know why."

"I get it." Bailey nodded. "But I don't want you to close yourself off anymore. You've been doing that since Melanie and enough. A woman who is worthy of you don't care about any of this superficial shit."

"In a perfect world?—"

"No. In this world. A woman who's worthy of you, who deserves you could give two shits about some scar." Bailey stressed. "It's not who you are. Some women will find it dangerous and very sexy. They will understand it came from being a man and standing up for what you truly believe in. So, here are your choices."

Khadri grunted, but rested his chin in his palm and lifted the elbow to the table.

"Okay, Mommy, give me my choices."

I blushed.

"You can either willing and on purpose put yourself out there." Bailey counted off on her fingers with perfectly pedicure nails. "Or, I can set you up—maybe not with Nitro but I have tons of beautiful German girls who would do some sketchy things for a man like you."

Khadri shook his head while laughing.

"Sketchy things." He moaned. "Did you spike your coffee?"

A Japanese man who looked like he walked off the CD cover of a Jpop album approached them and wrapped his arms around Bailey's shoulders from behind.

He placed a lingering kiss to her neck.

"Listen, sir." Bailey giggled. "My husband is very jealous, and he carries very big guns for a living."

The Japanese man laughed then straightened to hug Khadri who stood.

When they sat again, it was as if they were old friends.

"I didn't know you were coming down." The Japanese man spoke. "Everything okay?"

"Not really." Khadri asked.

"You need a hand? Mouth and Pit are here as well on training with the JDF."

Khadri shook his head. "Not yet. This is more of a fact-finding mission. We're going back in a couple of weeks."

"Zero, we're here on vacation, remember?" Bailey spoke up.

"Baby." Zero pouted.

"I know." She relented and kissed his lips.

"We?" Zero asked. "Who'd you come down with?"

"It's a very long story." Khadri told him. "Right now, I just want to sit with my friends and hear about your beautiful babies and how the rest of CIRO is doing."

"He's broken hearted." Bailey told her husband.

"Oh lord—why don't you come by later?" Zero asked. "I brought some of the good stuff back with us."

Khadri nodded, grinning. "Aww, you get me."

Another woman showed up who screamed happily when she saw Khadri. She flailed, darted across the space in her stilettos, dropped her purse into Bailey's lap then tossed herself into Khadri's arms. He hugged her, twirled around then set her back on her feet.

I'm going to be sick.

Was this how he felt watching me leave with Todd?

That pain—how could I do that to him?"

"Nitro." Khadri chuckled, pulling out her chair. "You look lovely."

"Aww." Nitro snickered. "You're just saying it ‘cause it's true."

I couldn't sit there anymore.

Not having ordered anything, I snuck out and doubled over to throw up in a set of flowers to the fight of the building. When I was feeling a little better, I wandered the small parking lot to find Khadri's rental and tried the doors.

It was locked.

Looking around, I found a lawn with a large tree to hide from the sun and waited.

By the time Khadri exited, Zero was with him. The two men talked as they walked across the lot, and I could tell it was a serious conversation—probably one they couldn't have with the ladies within hearing shot.

"You need to watch your back," Zero was saying. "If you need me, I'm here. And I know you have Dude and Zero—but Barbie is in Arizona right now visiting some friends. She can be on a plane any second."

Khadri tapped his shoulder.

"I know you got me," Khadri said. "I just?—"

He saw me standing there.

I wasn't even sure when I'd moved but he exhaled heavily as the happiness he'd had earlier now disappearing from his eyes.

"Who's this?" Zero faced me.

"Rei Hakama, meet Ryanne Larwick." Khadri explained.

"Larwick?" Zero shook my hand. "As in Theodore Larwick?"

I nodded. "I'm his granddaughter."

"Um—you're dead." Zero spoke.

"Nope—still alive—fortunately or unfortunately—depending on who you ask." I replied. "It's lovely to meet you, Mr. Hakama."

Zero laughed softly. "Nope. It's Rei or Zero."

Nodding, I looked up at Khadri. "Can we talk?"

"I'm going to head back to the wife." Zero spoke to Khadri. "Remember what I said, huh?"

Khadri hugged him and after he winked at me, Zero made his way back across the lot.

"Get in." Khadri said.

Usually, he would open my door for me. This time, he didn't even look at me twice. Still, I got in and pulled my belt on, waiting until we were settled into driving before I spoke.

"Not yet." He told me.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere we can talk." He replied tersely.

Eventually, we pulled into a large lot with a food truck.

"Are you hungry?" He wanted to know.

"Um—no."'

He ordered two coconut juice, and I watched as the man with the weird looking machete cut drinking holes into actual coconuts and stuck a straw in each.

Khadri paid for them and handed me one.

He led me away from the lot down toward the ocean to where they'd set up a seating area.

The sunshine was glorious and thankfully, the heat wasn't as terrible as it could be. A soft, cool wind blew up from the north leaving the air perfect and fragrant with the smell of fruits from the surrounding trees.

He set his coconut on the table to open the umbrella and when we were shaded, he sat.

"Tex is looking for Paul as we speak," he said, he was staring back toward the road. "Right now, I'm trying to find any traces of your father and?—"

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Us."

Khadri slurped some juice through the straw while staring at me then laughed. He laughed and shook his head before returning his gaze toward where we'd walked from.

"It's not funny." I grunted.

"Of course, it is." He told me. "There is no us, Ryanne. There is a you. There is a Todd. There is a you and Todd. What we were, I'm assuming was a distraction. It was—I don't know—an experiment, something to pass the time."

"Why are you being like this with me?"

Khadri finished his coconut and used the husk for a three point shot to a nearby garbage bin.

"Because you've made it perfectly clear how you feel about me." He told me. "I'm the man with the face only a mother could love, right? The face that time forgot?"

"I never said that."

"But you didn't speak up for me either."

The shame burned through me.

Even if I had very few experiences with men, I knew they wanted to be claimed. They wanted their women to think they were sexy, to speak up for them. And while I thought he was very sexy, I'd sat there and listen to the horrible things Todd had said about him.

I hadn't defended him.

With my entire soul, I wished he hadn't heard any of that. And I could try explaining until I was blue in the face, I knew there were no words to fix this.

"I just didn't know what to say." I replied.

"How about don't say that ?" Khadri asked. "That would be the perfect place to start. Even though we weren't dating and we hadn't discussed what we were I would have never let anyone talk about you like that—whether you were in the room or behind your back. Damn—I sound like such an asshole—shit!"

He grabbed his phone, still staring off into the distance.

"I found Paul." He spoke into the receiver. "He's on the island, and I'm looking at him right now."

"What?" I tried turning to look but he caught my arm.

"Sit, still." He barked. "Tex, send Zero my way. Where are the others? Okay. I'll stay here."

He hung up the phone.

My heart was racing for an entirely different reason now.

"Khadri, I don't want Todd."

"That's not important right now." He replied. "As soon as zero is in eyesight, we're going to get up and make our way toward where I parked. Don't run. Don't look back. Understand?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat but nodded.

When Khadri made the move, I knew Zero was there. But it was confirmed when we were halfway to the SUV and all hell broke loose. Khadri used his body to block anyone's sight to me and at the SUV he helped me in and closed the door.

I looked to see Zero was in a hand-to-hand battle with a couple of men as the door clicked to lock me inside and Khadri tossed himself into the fray.

His body was bigger than the men he fought, but none of them seemed afraid of him. That was their mistake as he took them out with his large fists and powerful kicks.

Someone was trying to get into the vehicle, shocking me, making me scream. I dug into my purse for something to use as a weapon before remembering the gun Khadi had in the dash. Quickly, I reached down for it as the person rushed around to the driver side and tried the door.

When he realized it was lock, he began banging on the window.

"Go away!" I aimed.

The man laughed.

"You're not going to shoot me!" He slammed a fist into the window, cracking the glass. "You're too much like your mother."

Glancing down at the gun to ensure the safety was off as I'd seen on television, I cocked it and lifted it a little higher.

The sound would hurt the fuck out of my ear in such an enclosed space. But if that man made it into the SUV, I was going to show him how much of my mother I hadn't inherited.