CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

A nna zipped up her dress. She had chosen black, which seemed appropriate to wear to an execution. The knee-length dress was pretty conservative for her, but with its square neckline and flare skirt, it was classic and feminine.

Anyway, it fit her mood.

Craig and Brianna would be here soon to collect her, so she slipped on her heels and slipped her phone into her pocket.

Anna hadn’t left her room since arriving back at the castle. Willow and Brianna had brought a few meals and there was plasma in her refrigerator. Not that she had an appetite.

She just felt sad. Empty. Like she’d lost her best friend.

Which was ridiculous. She’d only known Ben for a short time. And yet, the ache in her heart when he’d walked out the door hadn’t subsided.

Hours earlier, she had nearly texted Brianna to tell them she wasn’t attending the execution, but Sofia had popped by and visited her.

“ I think it is an important part of your healing to see one of the males responsible for your suffering punished ,” Sofia had said. “ I know it is for me. ”

Anna was grateful the female had gone on to share more of what had happened to her. There was comfort in sharing with other victims.

“ There comes a time where we need to move past the pain, rather than identify with our experience, and these moments can be an opportunity for that ,” Sofia had added. “ But I support you in whatever you decide .”

They had discussed whether she wanted a security team, as she’d previously had, but Anna had declined. She wanted to live normally now. As much as one could when employed by the king and living in a castle.

She felt so blessed to be a part of this family of incredible vampires. Even with a hole in her heart.

“ I am so angry with my brother. He had no right getting involved with you and then leaving you like this ,” Sofia had grumbled. “ You were vulnerable, and he was thinking with his cock. Sorry.”

Anna had laughed, hearing the harsh word leave Sofia’s mouth, who was always such a lady.

“ Don’t be mad at him, Sofia, ” Anna had said, laying a hand over hers. “ He wanted to protect me. I know he cares about me. He was just doing it in his own dumb way .”

Sofia had stared at her. “ You care about him? ”

Anna had lowered her eyes and nodded.

“ Willow and Bri think he’s my mate ,” she’d admitted and heard Sofia’s intake of breath.

“ What do you think? ”

Staring out the window Anna had taken a while to answer. Her mind had gone over and over the possibility at least a hundred times already.

Like all vampires, she had seen couples bonding all her life. It was a love and connection unlike anything else. The more alpha males were crazily protective of their females, and Anna had always thought it was romantic.

True, she hadn’t been around the more powerful alphas like she was now, but watching Craig, Lance, and Brayden with their females told her everything she needed to know. They loved their mates unconditionally.

None of them would be able to walk away as Ben had.

So that was her answer.

“ No ,” Anna had replied. “ He’s not .”

She’d held back the tears, even when Sofia had hugged her, until she’d left. Then they had poured down her face.

So, so stupid. She should never have gotten involved with him. Even though she meant what she had said to Sofia, she should have taken her advice and stayed away from males.

Now, all Anna wanted was to get this execution over and done with, then focus on her job and settling into her new life. She would arrange for her things to be brought from her family home and move on. Her family had never supported her, never truly loved her, and it was time she stopped hoping they would. They didn’t deserve her love.

One day a male would come along, and he would love her as she deserved. Her mate. Perhaps he was living in the castle. With thousands of vampires working here, she had yet to meet many of them.

Possibilities lay in front of her.

She just needed to grieve Ben and move on in time.

Anna added more lip gloss and walked out of the bedroom.

Knock, knock.

One glance at the clock told her they were five minutes early.

Anna opened the door and froze.

Ben.

BEN’S HEART POUNDED as he stood staring at the most beautiful and vulnerable female he’d ever seen in his life.

Anna stared back at him, her mouth parting, emotion filling her eyes.

Fuck, he didn’t want to upset her more, even as he knew he would.

“Please don’t shut the door,” he entreated, lifting his hand.

“What are you doing here?” she asked softly. “I thought you...”

He placed a hand on her hip and guided them inside, shutting the door.

“Slight change of plans,” Ben said. “I am still leaving, but since I’m still here, I thought I would escort you to the execution.”

Anna narrowed her eyes at him. “You can’t just come and go, Ben. It doesn’t work like that.”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” he argued.

It was totally what he was doing, and he realized he was being an ass. “I’m sorry; you’re right. I just didn’t want you going alone.”

Anna turned and took a few steps. “Then what? What about all the other difficult things in my life? Are you going to pop back in for those?”

What?

“No. Of course not.” He frowned, wondering what she was referring to. “What other things? Is—?”

“Stop, Ben,” Anna interrupted him. “This is what I mean. You have to let me go if you are leaving.”

He took a step forward, and she held up her hand.

Ben froze.

This wasn’t going according to plan at all.

“Anna.”

She shook her head.

Panic, an emotion he wasn’t used to or comfortable with, began to fill his chest.

“I want to support you today. Be there for you,” he beseeched. “Let me do that, please, Anna.”

Anna stared back at him, her eyes moist. She shook her head. “Don’t you understand? This hurts. Being apart. You being there will only hurt me further.”

Ben felt the words like daggers in his heart.

“I know it fucking hurts! My heart feels like it’s been shredded through a goddamn machine,” he gritted out. “Please, Anna.”

A tear slid down her face, and Ben clenched his fists.

Fuck.

His control slipped, and he vamp sped to her, pulling her into his arms. Anna wrapped herself around him and cried, letting out a little noise against his chest.

“I can’t do this,” he murmured into her hair.

“What?” She looked up.

“I don’t know...my life is so damn complicated. I’m losing my damn mind,” he said, shaking his head.

Anna’s head slumped back to his chest, and as he stood holding her in his arms, Ben had the strong feeling of his life righting itself for the first time since he’d left her yesterday.

Well, fuck , this was a goddamn problem. And yet, it felt like the most beautiful thing in the world.

Ben lifted her chin. “Sweetheart, I’m not taking no for an answer. You need me. I need to do this.”

She nodded.

Thank fuck.

“But you need to know something, Ben,” Anna said. “I don’t need you. I am a strong female, and I’m getting stronger. If you want to be there for me, you do so as my friend, not my lover.”

Ben’s jaw tightened. Anna moved out of his arms and straightened her dress and hair.

“I wasn’t exactly going to ask you to suck my cock while heads were being removed, Anna. Jesus.”

She frowned at him. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Then what do you mean?” What was she asking him to do? Or not do? He frowned back at her in question, wanting clarity. If she was expecting him to stand back and watch as other males cast their eyes over her body and do nothing, she was the one who had lost her mind.

“Nothing. No handsy stuff. Just be there for me in a supportive manner.”

Ben shook his head and glanced away. Being near Anna and not touching her was impossible, but he’d take what he could.

“Fine.”

A knock at the door interrupted them.

“That’s Craig and Bri,” Anna informed, walking to the door.

And his night just got brighter.

“Hey,” Brianna greeted, pulling Anna into a hug and casting him a small smile.

“Ferrero,” Craig said in greeting over the female’s head.

Ben lifted his chin at the commander.

“Let’s go. I need to be there early even though I’m off the clock,” Craig urged. Both of them knew he was never off the clock. A job like this never stopped.

As they walked out the door, he placed his hand in the small of Anna’s back, and she slowed and glared at him.

Right.

Fuck, this was going to be hard.