Chapter 10

MILES

The next morning, the mood in our home was lighter than it had been in weeks. Even before Shae was taken. We'd all been forced out of our routines, and some of our comfort zones, when Ethan all but fell into my Beta's lap and into both Shae and Theo's hearts. Trevor obviously had the most violent reaction to the little Omega and not just when he and Theo physically came to blows. Trevor had been almost living at the Drake House barracks by that point, desperately trying to pretend that Ethan's presence in our lives was just a phase the others were going through. I hadn't been sure what Ethan's place in my life would be. Would he be a friend of sorts, like Theo and Trevor?

My Alpha instincts had made it clear pretty quickly that, as an Omega in our pack, I wouldn't be able to just passively exist alongside him. I'd been so fucking relieved when I realized that all I wanted was to make sure he was comfortable and safe: fix his nest, make sure he was fed, those basic caretaking impulses that all good Alphas had. When his heat hit, I nearly broke and begged Shae through the bond to come to me so I wouldn't have to go to them in the nest. They explained to me later that the pheromones Ethan put out during his heat were almost like a high. They hadn't realized how wide open they'd been in the bonds until Theo had asked them to come help me.

I felt a flush creep up my neck and my dick thicken in my shorts, thinking of that day. Shae's head was in my lap but the pillow beneath it saved me from having to explain. By the time Shae had made it downstairs during Ethan's heat, I'd been inches from a full rut, something I hadn't been close to since the night Shae and I had bonded. They'd been drenched in Ethan's pheromones, but they'd sweat enough that their own scent overpowered his. I couldn't even wait to take the robe off them when they came toward where I stood, hands braced on the counter. I'd just turned them around and bent them over the island. Lifting the robe, I barely remembered to ask if they were ready before plunging into their sinful warmth. I'd fucked them brutally and they'd begged for my knot. I didn't knot Shae often but that time neither of us could resist. They'd been so ready for my dick that my knot didn't take much work before their tight channel was strangling me. My knot always went down faster with Shae than I'd been told to expect with an Omega. Then again, the only experience I had with an Omega came from what we learned in textbooks at school, so what did I know?

After the heat, Shae had begun bringing Ethan along with us on some of our dates. Seeing them so completely infatuated with him had been too cute for me to pout about the loss of alone time with Shae. Before they'd been taken, they'd made sure to spend most nights in our room. I appreciated how Shae split their attention as equally as they could between Ethan, Jade, and I. Not because I was jealous, exactly, but the speed at which the other members of the pack were falling in love with him made me uneasy, and Shae always brought me comfort and peace.

I could talk through any feelings or concerns I had with them and know that nothing would leave our space and nothing would change how they felt about me. Ethan and I had been having movie nights when Shae was working. Sometimes Jade or Theo joined, but often it was just us. We'd been working our way through some of my favorite cult classic type movies from the 80's and 90's and I'd started looking forward to those nights with him. We'd been watching one of those about hackers that had made him laugh, and had him fully hooked, the night Shae had been taken.

A hulking Theo sauntered into the kitchen, pulling me from my thoughts before I started to relive the darkest days of my life, and bringing Ethan's sweet cinnamon rolls scent with him. It wasn't just Ethan's scent but the much stronger, Alpha version of Theo's own bayberry and oak. I reached an arm out to wrap my fingers through Shae's and rest our hands on their stomach. Theo nodded a hello of sorts to where Shae and I were lounging on the couch while I drank my coffee. He headed over to the stools at the island where Trevor and Jade were eating breakfast. Sitting on the opposite side of Jade from his brother, he reached out, tugging the stool she was on until it fit between his spread thighs. Then he wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling into her neck and making her giggle.

Shae and I both grinned at the girlish, lighthearted sound that came from the de facto head of our pack. Jade so often kept everything close to the belt, giving her bondmates the dominance they craved in the bedroom and projecting all things Alpha for the world. I'd worried about whether she would ever let herself let go of that need for control—the need to make everyone happy and feel loved, to just be in the moment with anyone but me—until I saw her with Theo for the first time. He was obviously another safe space for her, but a romantic one, as Shae was for me. Theo cleared his throat, pulling all of our attention to him.

"Before Ethan comes down from getting ready, I wanted to talk about bonding him into the pack. A lot has changed since we talked about it last. Where does everyone stand?"

Theo's eyes shifted to Shae, silently urging them to back him up.

"You all know the Tough Guy and I want Ethan in the pack but bonding is a huge step. For me, it has to be a unanimous yes or we wait until it is unanimous."

I squeezed Shae's hand gently and sent gratitude down the bond before speaking.

"I am not there with Ethan, but I don't object to anyone else bonding him, if they're ready."

Jade nodded then looked between Theo and Trevor before Trevor hung his head. Dampness clouded his scent, shame trying to steal the progress he'd made.

"I know I've apologized to all of you individually for the way I've acted, and that I still need to apologize to Ethan. He's pack, I know that. I won't stand in anyone's way anymore but I—I don't deserve that with him yet. I owe him too many apologies and need to earn his trust before I can earn his friendship or anything more."

Jade leaned over and pressed a kiss to Trevor's cheek, whispering something to him as Theo squeezed his brother's shoulder. Jade pulled away from Trevor and squared her shoulders, voice resolute.

"I'm ready to bond Ethan, but I think Theo should get to first."

We'd mostly been dancing around the changes in Theo and what that could mean for him and for the pack.

"Is that something you think you can do, Theo?"

Theo shrugged at my question before blowing out a breath and turning sorrowful eyes to Jade.

"I don't know. We haven't said anything before now but whatever effect that shit had on my body all but destroyed my bond with Jade. There's almost nothing left of that connection. We talked about trying to bond again and see if I can bond her with a bite the way Trevor did."

Profound sadness rolled through me. I couldn't distinguish how much of it was coming from myself and how much was coming from my bond with Shae. There were also notes of guilt coming from them and I wouldn't allow that. Before I could say anything, Jade had moved from the stools to where we sat and gripped Shae's chin firmly.

"None of that. No guilt. None of this is your fault and it will be fine. Do you hear me, love?"

Shae blinked back a few tears before letting out a breath and nodding. Jade dropped a kiss on their forehead before walking back over to Theo and leaning back against his chest. His arms draped around her middle and he pressed a quick kiss to the side of her neck.

"So far, I have been experiencing all aspects of an emerging Alpha. Jade and I will test the bond out before we say anything about it to Ethan. I don't want him to feel bad if I can't bond with him or feel guilty for taking any other bonds. But first, we need to make sure he's ready for this step too."

Bits of excitement began to filter through Shae's side of the bond until they were nearly bouncing as they spoke.

"We should take him to dinner at Ashton's, we can get a private room and we can talk to him about it." Their face scrunched up thoughtfully, bringing a smile to my face as they turned to look between me and Trevor. "Would you two want to be there though?"

Trevor shook his head.

"No, this is for the four of you right now, I think. Miles and I will find our own way with Ethan, in our time, but we won't get in the way either."

I nodded, agreeing with Trevor, but something didn't quite sit right with me about it. Shae could sense my apprehension and gently questioned through the bond.

"I think that I would like to spend some time with Ethan, not at the dinner and, um, not with anyone else. If that's alright?"

Before Shae or the others could say something, we heard Ethan's steps on the stairs and all eyes turned to the doorway that led to our kitchen and family area. He came into the space wearing a deep green hoodie that made the green in his hazel eyes more prominent and dark washed jeans. The smile on his face fell when he realized we were all watching his every move, he tugged his backpack over his shoulder and his eyes darted between each of us.

"Is everything alright?"

The nervousness in his voice set off a chain reaction of assurances and Jade moved from Theo's embrace to wrap herself around Ethan's side.

"Everything is fine. We were just trying to figure out schedules and things for the week. Theo will take you to classes today and stay with you. We'd like to take you to dinner tomorrow, if that's alright?"

"I have a meeting with my advisor today about my extensions and finals since the semester is almost over, but I should know more tonight."

I cleared my throat and caught Ethan's gaze, avoiding the others.

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to pick you up from class. We can grab dinner or something on the way home?"

Ethan's smile brightened as he nodded and his perfume spiked. His cheeks darkened and he grumbled apologies and something about overeager Omega bullshit.

Cute.

The thought startled me a little, but I didn't have time to look at it too closely. Theo and Ethan hustled out of the house to get him to campus, shortly followed by Jade and Trevor going off to work. Shae just settled back into where they'd been laying in my lap and winked before turning on the TV. I was thankful that they weren't pushing me too much but then the memories of our kitchen fuck during Ethan's heat reared up again and I snatched the remote from them. We had an empty house to take advantage of and I had ideas.

Theo had given me instructions to meet him at a bench outside a building on campus where Ethan's classes were held. I found him sitting there with his jaw clenched as a group of Beta girls walked by, sending him obvious looks of interest. They sauntered closer, he let loose a small growl that had their interest waning and their feet abruptly changed direction. I laughed under my breath as I sat next to him and he leaned back, relaxing somewhat with me there.

Theo and I had a relationship that was close to mine with Jade, just without the decades of friendship under our belts. We'd never be romantically linked but we understood one another, were comfortable with each other and had the mutual trust that could only come with being packmates. Even without a bite, we had a different kind of bond.

"Laughing at people is rude."

"Wasn't laughing at you. Just thinking that if Ethan saw those girls trying to move in on his Alpha, a little growl would be the least of their worries."

He huffed, a brief amused sound, and his face softened, momentarily. Not that he'd ever hidden it, but it was obvious how completely obsessed Theo was with our Omega. He turned to me, his expression severe.

"He should be out in ten minutes or so. I'm going to head into the office and get updates before I go home. Take care of him, Miles."

I met his gaze with one that was equally serious. I knew what it was costing him to leave Ethan with me, as an Alpha, especially one so new to the instincts, and as someone who was in love with a person whose safety was at risk. Hell, I was only able to be here because I knew that Shae was safely at home with Jade. They were checking in with me consistently through the bond to keep me from worrying unnecessarily, but Theo didn't have that with Ethan. My chest clenched as I remembered he couldn't even feel Jade anymore. I hoped for both of their sakes, and Jade's, that everything the drug had done to Theo's system hadn't taken the ability to bond from him.

"Nothing will touch him while he's with me."

Theo nodded once and clapped a hand on my shoulder before standing and walking toward one of the nearby parking structures. I leaned back against the bench, crossing an ankle over my knee and spreading my arms along the back, taking a deep breath of crisp air. Even though the holidays were coming soon, it never really got cold until right around Christmas or, sometimes, after. But the fall, no matter how warm it stayed, still had a certain feel in the air. The trees had already turned and their leaves mostly fallen, but it was a beautiful day.

My gaze turned back to the building where our Omega was finishing up his day and I couldn't help the turn of my thoughts to just over a week before. How hopeless everything had seemed.

After the rest of the pack had left, Ethan and I had stayed where I was rooted in place, staring at the front door of our home. Focusing everything I had on my bond with Shae and any information I could glean about their safety from it. I didn't know how long we'd stayed like that, his comforting purr, and the arms around me the only anchor in the hurricane of my grief and rage.

Eventually, the lock turned at the front door and my mother bustled in with my two fathers. Ethan stiffened at their appearance because to him they were strangers but I patted his hands, the only reassurance I could offer, and my mom spoke to us both until he relaxed. She explained that Jade had called them, and she held out a hand to Ethan. He took it and I felt his gaze on me as she led him into the kitchen, but I couldn"t move. I was too close to breaking. My dad stepped up to me, forcing my gaze from the door and to his face—harder and more weathered but so like my own. His eyes were a lighter brown than mine but there was so much of him in my face that looking at him always felt like looking into my future. Pop put a heavy hand on my shoulder and broke the silent face-off.

"How can we help, son?"

My jaw clenched and I tried to speak but I just couldn't. I shook my head and dropped my chin, squeezing my eyes shut and feeling for Shae again. Still nothing, like they were asleep but without the emotions that always filtered through from their dreams. They'd been knocked unconscious and the beast I'd kept locked up within me for so long was beating against the bars of the cage my mind had placed around it. I took a deep breath and met my dad's eyes again, letting a little of the beast show. He'd always wanted me to be as bloodthirsty as he was, but I didn't revel in violence the way he and Jade or even Theo did. But at that moment, I would have torn every person limb from limb who stood between me and my mate and relished it.

"No blood yet, boy. We don't know whose to take, but you'll get it. Patience."

Dad moved around me then and Pop squeezed my shoulder.

"C'mon, your mom is going to stress cook enough food for an army. Help me with the groceries."

I helped bring in groceries and let my parents herd me into the family room while Mom cooked. They all made strained but polite conversation with Ethan. I wasn't sure how much Jade had told them about him, but I couldn't explain anything. A few hours after they arrived, Shae must have woken up because I could feel them again. I shot up off the couch, wrestled my phone out and called Jade as I poured all my love into our bond. I could tell they were in pain and a growl roared out of me. My fathers surrounded me, and Dad took the phone from my hand since I wasn't calm enough to speak. Eventually, Shae was sending back love and reassurance, but they couldn't hide their pain and fear. It was torture. I needed to help them and I was helpless to do anything.

"Miles?"

My gaze snapped to Ethan's worried hazel eyes and the tracks of tears drying on his cheeks.

"Jade wants me to go in and help Cole and the others in the BullPen."

I stiffened, another growl rumbling up. I was supposed to keep him here and keep him safe while the others hunted, but I was failing, again. They didn't trust me. My dad's voice broke through the spiral, but I couldn't look away from Ethan.

"I'm taking him in, son. Standing in for Jade to run shit while she handles this. Pop will stay with you and Mom."

Ethan reached out like he was going to touch me but pulled his hand away and started walking toward the front door. My dad followed him, and Pop stayed at my side. I could see my mom worrying her hands in a towel in the corner of my vision as a timer went off somewhere in the kitchen.

I sat back on the couch and waited, once again focusing everything on Shae through our bond. Hours passed and my parents moved around me, trying to get me to eat or talk to them but I couldn't. Shae had fallen asleep, and I tried my best to let them rest and not tug on the bond to reassure myself that they were only sleeping and become unconscious again. I must have drifted off on the couch, until their panic slammed into me and woke me.

Pop was asleep in the armchair across the room but he jerked awake at my sounds of distress. Shae was flooding the bond with love and apology, and I couldn't breathe. They were saying goodbye and blocking me out. I was distantly aware that I'd fallen to my knees, keening and sobbing. My mother's arms wrapped around me, and she wept as she tried to reassure me, not knowing what I was feeling, only that I was trapped in my own personal hell. The bond faded to stillness again, that same state of limbo where Shae wasn't just sleeping, but not gone.

Pop was talking on the phone, my mother spoke softly to me, and I just sat there. Useless. I'd failed my mate. Nothing mattered if I couldn't keep the person who I loved the most safe.

I didn't know how much time passed before a gentle sound pulled me from my trance.

The ache in my knees and back told me it had been too long since I'd moved. That sound, a purr, pulled at my attention again. I fought to focus my gaze and found Ethan sitting in front of me, mirroring my pose, and purring for me, again. The vibration of his purr couldn't mend the jagged pieces that were the fractured bits of my soul, but it wrapped around them. Made the weight of all my fear and despair somehow less.

"Miles, you are going to come with me. We're going to Drake House to be with the others. You're going to eat and rest in the barracks. Because we're—" his soft voice broke before he steeled himself. "We're getting Shae back and you can't break. They'll need you."

I nodded and heard a shaking exhale behind him. I noticed all three of my parents there. Mom crying softly, with Dad's arms wrapped around her, and Pop holding her hand with a distraught look on his face. My voice croaked out of me.

"Sorry."

Mom shook her head and made to move towards me, but my dad held her to him, and spoke to me, voice calm though my world was falling apart.

"We'll drive you both back in, then I'll stay, but Mom and Pop will go home."

I stood and grunted when my muscles protested the movement. Ethan gripped my elbow to steady me, keeping up his purr and the heady relief it offered me.

The days after that were a blur of despair and hope and fear. I'd only functioned when Ethan came into my space in the barracks to make me eat and shower and update me on their progress. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have made it. That week had changed so many things about me, not least how I viewed Ethan. He had already become a friend before, but his care and devotion to Shae, our pack, and me, had opened the door for me to see him as potentially more.

I didn't love Ethan and I didn't feel any kind of attraction to him really. I'd wanted to hug him when we were home that first night with Shae. I was grateful when he'd asked if we could all be in the nest together because having them both with me settled something deep within my soul. I didn't know if I would be able to talk to Ethan about it all yet. Part of me worried that my feelings were influenced by Shae's through our bond and another part of me recognized that Ethan was exactly the right Omega for us and that my feelings were the result of actually getting to know him as the incredible person he was.

The chatter of people around me increased as classes ended, and broke me from my thoughts. I cursed myself for getting so lost in memories that I wasn't paying enough attention to my surroundings. It was only another minute or so before Ethan appeared, walking with another student. The guy was handsome, a mop of light brown hair, the kind of bone structure people paid money for, and dark eyes that were currently trained, in a look of pure longing, on an oblivious Ethan. I smiled to myself and thanked our lucky stars that Theo hadn't been the one to see that, because the poor Beta would have quickly learned to never look at Ethan like that again.

Standing from my spot across the courtyard, I walked toward them and noticed Ethan's nostrils flare before he looked toward me and smiled. I returned the grin and stepped up to them, taking Ethan's bag from his shoulders and slipping it on to mine.

"I'll just, um, catch up with you later then, Ethan?"

"Huh? Oh shit, sorry, Will. This is Miles. Miles, my friend Will."

I reached out to shake the Beta's hand. He shook it quickly then waved as he backed away. I turned my attention back to Ethan, who still had a smile on his face, but it had turned a little shy.

"So, what's the plan?"

I put a hand on the small of his back to guide him toward the lot with my car in it, not hating the way the gesture made his perfume spike subtly.

"It's a surprise."

When I parked at the public access lot for the pier, Ethan's wide smile was infectious, and I felt the muscles of my cheeks pull in an answering grin. The drive over had been good, not uncomfortable like I'd worried about without Shae's presence as a buffer. He'd filled the time by asking me about projects that I'd been working on, and showing me a picture he'd taken of the exterior windows at the restored and reimagined building his mom and sister had moved into. I explained that a friend of mine was the architect behind that project and my pride swelled when he asked me all kinds of thoughtful questions about my work. It wasn't that Shae or the others weren't interested, but I'd assumed he would want to talk about other things than the inspiration for using pieces of old machinery as communal tables in the brewery that I'd renovated. Apparently, Theo had taken him one night and he'd loved it.

After snagging the blanket out of the back seat, we walked around until we found a place that sold New York style pizza by the slice. Our order came up quickly since the beach and the pier weren't too crowded with tourists this time of year. We took it to a spot in the sand, laying out the blanket and tearing into the delicious slices.

"How was your day? I probably should have asked that before now."

Ethan chuckled and made a so-so motion with his head before digging his toes in the sand in a gesture that was both adorable and youthful. It reminded me that, though there were only six years difference between us, he had been sheltered, and twenty-three was a very different place in life than almost thirty.

"The meeting with my advisor went about as well as it could have, I guess. She let me know that the university couldn't give me any more extensions beyond the one week after everyone else's finals. I knew they weren't extending it very far, but that doesn't leave me much time to do that and work with everyone in the BullPen as often as I'd like to."

"Could you work on your final projects from the BullPen? Then, if they needed your help, you'd be there."

"Wouldn't I be in the way?"

"Ethan, your Alphas would probably throw someone out of a window if they implied you were in the way. I'm sure there's space for you to work on your school things."

His cheeks darkened and he pressed his mouth to his knees as he wrapped his arms around his shins. Like that would hide his grin or the spike in his scent that gave away exactly how the little Omega felt about the prospect of his Alphas doing just that. We sat there for a while longer, just soaking in the sound of the waves and letting it soothe us. The sun was sinking towards the horizon by the time we finished our pizza and, though Shae was calm in our bond, I imagined the others were anxious for us to get home. I stood and brushed some sand from my legs before reaching a hand down to Ethan without giving it a thought.

His warm, soft palm slid into my rougher one and my fingers tightened around his as I tugged him to stand. The movement brought us closer together, though we didn't touch anywhere but our hands. The slightest little gasp slipped from his parted lips and butterflies erupted in my stomach. I wanted to kiss this man. Holy shit. A burst of excitement ran through the bond, and I realized that Shae had picked up on my sudden desires and was practically crowing with delight. The combination of the surprise of my feelings and Shae's near commentary on them made me self-conscious and I dropped Ethan's hand.

He flushed with embarrassment and mumbled what I thought might have been an apology before bending to pick up the trash. I scrubbed a hand down my face then shook out the blanket, kicking myself for making him feel like he'd done something wrong. I didn't really have the words to reassure him either because I didn't know if my feelings were just a reaction to him as an Omega or if they were real. Come on, Miles. You didn't react like that to him before, don't start lying to yourself.

We'd started to walk back to the car, shoes in hand, and I was about to tell him about my embarrassing confusion over my own feelings, when Ethan's phone rang. He dug it out of his pocket and frowned at the screen, making my hackles rise so that I stepped closer to him.

"Is everything alright?"

He shook his head.

"It's the police. They called the other night and I forgot to listen to the message."

Tapping the green button to answer, he brought his ear to the phone. He only said a few pleasantries before his scent turned to a burned sugar smell. I moved into his space and put a hand on his back. As I rubbed soothing circles along his spine, he leaned his shoulder into my chest, the light contact filling me with satisfaction. I hated not being able to hear what was being said but if this was all I could do to help, then I'd do it.

"Okay, thank you for telling me but I—I'm going to need some time to think about it. Sure. Bye."

He ended the call and dropped his phone back into his pocket, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. The burnt sugar scent was lessening in his perfume, but I didn't want to risk upsetting him further, so I just stayed there and kept my hand on his back. He opened his eyes and looked up at me. The slightest bit of red leaching into the veins in his eyes gave away how close he was to tears but also made the green in his irises more prominent than I'd ever seen it. Then again, I'd never really been up close like this with him when I wasn't in a blind rage or practically catatonic.

"Tell me?"

His sigh had a slight shake to it, and I couldn't resist the temptation any longer to pull him into my arms. He came willingly and his arms wrapped around my waist at the same time mine went around his shoulders. There wasn't enough of a height difference between us for him to rest his head on my chest, like he would have been able to with Theo or Trevor, but he leaned his head on my shoulder, forehead against my neck, breath tickling along my skin as he spoke.

"They said that the Alpha who took me, Clint, is refusing to cooperate with their investigation into the drug, unless I come and speak to him."

My growl came out so quickly that a nearby family startled and moved further away from us. My arms tightened around Ethan as a soft whine escaped him.

"You owe that man nothing, Ethan. You do not have to go."

"I know but what if he could help people like Cat and Theo and the others. What if something good could come from his research? Don't I owe it to them?"

"Absolutely the fuck not. If he wanted to help people, to begin to atone for the shit he did to you, he would willingly help. Not put bullshit conditions on it or you."

I felt more of the tension bleed from his body as his scent returned to its normal sweetness and his breathing evened out. I continued to just hold him until he spoke.

"Thanks, Miles."

I stepped back from the hug but kept an arm on his lower back, steering him toward the car again.

"We can talk about it with the others when we get home if you want. Whatever you decide, we will have your back. If you decide to go, you won't have to do it alone."

He nodded as I opened the door for him, and he sank into the seat with a far-off expression on his face. I resolved to bring back that smile he'd had most of the evening, on the way home. It was time for me to accept that I wanted this man to be my Omega, to date him and give us a chance for more.