Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Sabrina

Hours later, we sat at my dad's old beat-up formica top table in the corner of the kitchen, eating cold and partially stale burgers in silence.

Every part of my body felt like it had been through the wringer. My eyes were sore and puffy from all the tears I'd cried. My wrists were sore and burned raw from where I'd struggled against the zip ties that had restrained me. My back ached from being flat on the old, springy mattress for the better part of the day. My mouth was cracked and raw from the tears that had sat for hours on my skin with nowhere to go, and from the scratchiness of Damon's rough scruff and his punishing kisses. Every one of my holes had now been stretched and used. My ass was hot and welted from the belt he'd used on me, because once Fin had finished exacting his revenge, I'd felt so awful, I'd begged them both to let Damon spank me the way Fin had spanked him. Not so much to even the score, but to get the same therapeutic release I'd seen in Damon's eyes when Fin had been belting his ass.

And somehow, I felt better than I had in years. Somehow despite the nightmarish events and emotions of the day, sitting here at this shitty table, eating cold burgers with two men I loved, two men who've always been such an important part of my life, just felt… right.

But If I was honest, despite my fucked-up feelings of wholeness, despite the fact that it felt like there had been closure from a past none of us had deserved, I had more questions than I had answers.

I ate the last bite of my burger, folded up the wrapper and pushed it to the center of the table, then looked between the two of them. "So… Daddy?"

Damon glanced up, his face a gruff mask. I looked at him, trying not to smile. His eyes were puffy too. I'm sure his back ached and his hole burned. I couldn't see the raw, chapped skin around his mouth, because of his beard scruff, but I knew it was there. Fin had kept his word. Everything that Damon had done to me, had been done to him in return. When I met his gaze, blush flushed his cheeks as he glanced between me and Fin. "I'm not sure which one of us you are speaking to."

Fin cleared his throat, as his eyes met mine. It was easy to figure out what Damon was assuming, and why he'd assumed it.

"I wasn't talking to either of you. I was asking a question."

"To who?" Damon grunted, wiping his mouth with a napkin as he finished his burger. "What question?"

"To either one of you. I guess. And… Daddy was the question." I shrugged. Out of all the surprises of the day, their relationship/dynamic reveal had been the one that floored me. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I wanted to know more.

"Let your current Daddy answer," Damon spat.

I couldn't avoid the deep sigh that escaped my chest in response to his obvious confusion and anger. I glanced at Fin, who nodded. "I don't have a current Daddy," I admitted. "That was… I never… it was just for you, Damon. Fin and I never… He didn't even know that about you and I. And I didn't know that about you and him. You called him Daddy, and that's what I was asking, I guess. That was the question. I wanted to know more about that." I paused, and met Damon's gaze. "I didn't know anything about you and him."

"That was kind of obvious," he grunted. "But it doesn't matter. I made my choices. I paid my dues. Life moved on without me. The two of you moved on without me."

The words, spoken with far less anger and more acceptance than he'd exhibited all day, tore at my heart. They filled me with guilt, but not because of what we'd done, but because I realized they weren't true. And I guess, I thought after everything, Damon realized they weren't true. I thought he knew. I thought we all did. But I couldn't voice that. It was a conversation I needed to have with Fin, alone. Tears pricked my already red-rimmed, burning eyelids, though, and I shook my head, pursing my lips tightly together as if I needed to do that in order to control what came out of them.

I felt Fin's eyes on me, and I glanced at him, surprised to see the same pain on his face that I was feeling. He shook his head and his own eyes looked wet. I watched, amazed as he pushed his half-eaten burger aside, and placed one of his hands on mine before reaching across the table and grabbing one of Damon's.

His gaze lingered on mine, and a new round of silent conversation passed between us. I nodded my head, held my breath, and waited.

* * *

Fin

It was crazy, what I was going to say, what I was going to propose, but I wanted it more than I wanted my next breath. Sure Sabrina and I had bonded in his absence. We'd used each other to get past our trauma and grief. We'd dated, because it was an easy and natural progression. And we'd gotten engaged because we loved each other and that was what people our age did.

But most people our age, especially the ones we knew, hadn't been through what we had. They hadn't been manipulated by the town they grew up in. They hadn't had their lives ripped apart by adults they should have been able to trust. They hadn't been exploited as pawns in a game of corruption. That experience–our experience– was unique to Three Rivers.

And even when we'd learned how deep the corruption had gone, even when we'd been clued into the truths of what had really happened, we didn't share that. It would have sounded crazy to most people. As a result, we hadn't really gotten to process, to heal.

Today had been about healing Damon, but in some ways, I was pretty sure it had healed all of us. And I wasn't stupid. One day wouldn't fix everything. But I wasn't ready for the healing to end. I wasn't willing to let Damon heal alone. I wasn't willing to heal alone.

"Damon." My voice was rough, and I recognized that I was holding back tears that had been threatening to fall all day.

He tried to yank his hand away, but I held it in place. "Babyboy."

He looked up and his eyes met mine. I saw the fear there, but buried behind it, I saw the hope. That was what I held onto.

I cleared my throat for what felt like the thousandth time today. "We moved on with our lives, because we had to. We had no choice. We were powerless in a hopeless situation. We were kids, and even if we'd suspected even of a fraction of all the things that were wrong with your arrest and sentence, who could we have gone to? There was no one to trust. That was kind of the point. That's what they wanted. That's what they did. They preyed on kids. Kids like you, like Ashley Carter. Like Trask King. And there was nothing anybody could do about it. We were all victims. Not as much as you, but we were victims too."

He shrugged, like it didn't matter, and I realized I'd gone off on a tangent.

"The point is, we moved on because we had to. Not because we wanted to. We had no choice. It was a fucked-up situation, and it hurt too much. So we leaned on each other, and I got Sabrina out of here, because I knew that's what you wanted for her. And yeah, we didn't look back, and maybe we should have. For that, I truly am very sorry."

"We both are." Sabrina put his hand on top of mine, on top of his. Damon ripped his gaze from me to our stacked hands, and I watched as his Adam's apple constricted, revealing his emotions.

"We both are," I repeated. "But today has shown us that we made mistakes. We gave them powers we didn't have to. And I'm not willing to do that anymore. They are in jail cells. Their days of ripping lives apart are over. They can't physically do any of it anymore. So why are we still letting them do it mentally?" I shook my head. "We shouldn't. We can't. I don't… I don't… want to."

Damon's eyes were glassy again, as he looked down at the table instead of at me. "I don't know what you're saying."

I swallowed thickly. "I'm saying, I missed you, babyboy. And I don't want to miss you again. You have a lot to deal with, a lot to catch up on, a lot to heal from, and I don't want you to do it without me. I can't stomach the thought."

His eyes narrowed, furrowing his brows, and he looked between me and Sabrina. "I'm not… I don't… I'm not trying to break you guys up. I mean like, yeah, it sucks. Yeah, I'm jealous as fuck. Yeah, it hurts. But I'm not trying to be no homewrecker."

"That's good," Sabrina said with an easy laugh, "cause we're not trying to let our home be wrecked."

"I don't understand." Damon put his head in his free hand. "Fuck, I feel like I'm saying that a lot."

"Maybe." I chuckled. "But it's probably our fault. So let us be more clear. WWhat you and Sabrina had was good. You were her Daddy. What Sabrina and I have is good. It helped us both cope, and we aren't in any sort of dynamic, but our relationship is strong."

He nodded, though it was clear he was still confused. That was okay though, because I wasn't finished.

"And babyboy, what you and I had was so good. So if we combine three good things, I think what we'd end up with is something really great."

"Combine..." He trailed off as he looked between Sabrina and I. "What, like… a menage á trois?"

"I mean, I was thinking more like a throuple, but, essentially yes."

"You guys…" He looked between us again. "You guys want me after… after what I did?"

I nodded. Sabrina spoke up.

"I think I want you because of what you did."

"You have fucked-up captive-rape fantasies or something?" he grunted, his expression skeptical. He was joking… mostly, but also having a hard time believing what we were saying.

"Nooo." She smiled slowly and shook her head. "This isn't going to make much sense, but I think it was brave, in a way."

"You're right. That makes no fucking sense."

"It makes sense to me." She shrugged. "For so many years, I've just accepted things that were out of my control. I rolled over and let life stomp all over me. I never really did anything about it. I never fought back. You did. You do. You always have. And sometimes your methods are a little messed up, yeah, but…" She trailed off and smiled. "I don't know, I think that's admirable. I think it makes you someone I admire. And Damon, I've always loved you. I love you."

He was getting choked up for real now, unable to hide it behind his gruff demeanor. "I love you too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Fuck. I hated to see my babyboy cry. With one last sidelong look at Sabrina, we both stood and made our way over to Damon on the other side of the table.

I put my arms around his left side and hauled him to his feet. Sabrina hugged his right side, and we made a nice little Damon sandwich.

When he started crying, I did too, and Sabrina followed suit. We just stood there, clinging to each other, a throuple sandwich, with no idea how we were going to make this work, only knowing that we had to. It was the only thing that felt right.

* * *

Damon

After we'd hugged it out, shedding new rounds of tears as we released the pain of the past six years, we pulled apart and I sat back down.

"So… what now?"

Sabrina and Fin looked at each other, communicating in that silent way they had–the one I'd be jealous of if I wasn't so damn thankful for it–and I realized they were just as lost on what came next as I was.

We all sat there in silence, knowing what we wanted, but having no clue how to fit it into our real lives. I was about to tell them not to worry about it, to shrug it off as a pipe dream, when Sabrina spoke up.

"I don't… I don't think I want to be in Hollywood anymore."

My stomach knotted at her announcement. As long as I'd known Sabrina, Hollywood, to be an actress and a singer, was all she'd ever wanted. "Today has been a really fucked-up, emotional, crazy day and I'm sure we're all feeling a little raw. Maybe we shouldn't make any more big life decisions than we already have."

Across from me, Fin wore an equally concerned expression and nodded his head. "Damon is right. I think we should find some more food, and honestly, maybe a hotel room. We all need a good night's sleep before we make rash decisions about our futures."

"No, you're both wrong!" Sabrina slammed her fist down on the table. "It's not a rash decision. I haven't been happy in Hollywood for a long fucking time, and yeah, it was what I always wanted, but that's because it was my ticket out of here. And Hollywood was the polar opposite of this place. But today's Three Rivers isn't the same Three Rivers we grew up in. The evil people are behind bars. The good people are left behind, picking up the pieces. They are victims just like us. There are so many fucking… victims. And here is the only place we are going to find people who understand. People who have the same trust issues. The same anger. The same bullshit to work through."

"She's not wrong..." Fin said, but he still looked unconvinced, like he didn't really know where she was going, or if he wanted to let her go there.

I understood the feeling.

"I don't want to be a victim. I mean, I am a victim, and so are you, Fin, and Damon most of all, but I don't want to feel like a victim. And I don't want you guys to either. And the people here… they aren't acting like victims. They are rebuilding. They are taking the town back. They are giving the younger generation a safety we never had, a hometown free of corruption, adults they can trust and rely on. A future. I think… I think I want to be a part of that. I think we should be a part of that. We all should."

My stomach twisted. I heard what she was saying. It made sense, and I didn't exactly disagree, but… the idea still left a sour taste in my mouth. Maybe that was the point.

"So you're saying you want to stay here? In Three Rivers?"

"Well, not here." She swept her arm around the dust-covered shoebox house. "I want to buy one of the big houses on the hill. Like the one Fin's parents have. And I want to work with teens. For their future. Maybe even foster some. A lot of them have parents in jail right now. Their worlds have been rocked. We know what that's like. We can help them heal while we are healing ourselves."

I scoffed. "I have a record, Sabrina. I just got out of jail. Nobody's gonna let me near a bunch of impressionable kids. Especially after they realize we're..." I motioned around the table at her and Fin, then myself. "A throuple."

The word felt funny on my tongue, but it filled my heart with joy and hope.

Fin scoffed. "There are other throuples here. At least one. And guess what, nobody cares. Also, the co-mayor's own brother was framed and unfairly incarcerated. He's not going to judge you for that."

"I wasn't framed, Fin," I reminded him. "I actually did the crime."

"You were forced into an impossible situation by the adults around you. They knew you were in a rough spot. They knew you needed to get out of Dodge. They exploited that and then made it so you never could. Yeah, you did the crime. Yeah, you messed up, but think about the adults that were involved in the bigger picture. They preyed on kids and then threw them away when they didn't need them anymore. The new judge would expunge your record in a heartbeat. Honestly, Damon, you're the perfect person to have around these kids. Who knows what they've been through. They aren't gonna open up to just anyone. It has to be someone they think might understand."

"Oh." Well how could I argue with that? Did I even want to? Everything Sabrina was suggesting sounded pretty damn good.

"You think… you think we could actually stay? You think you'd actually want to?" Despite everything, I still considered Three Rivers my home. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. But I would, for them. I'd go to the ends of the earth for them.

"I think," Sabrina said, coming to sit on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck, "that Three Rivers is the perfect place for us, right now. For me and my Daddy, and his Daddy. This is where we broke. It's where we lost each other, and it's where we came back together and it's where we're going to heal."

"Amen to that." Finn stood and walked around behind me, placing his hand on my back. "And on that note, let's get out of here, and go find a hotel, and some food that wasn't sitting around for hours."

I sucked in a breath.

He looked at me sharply. "You ready for that?"

The thought terrified me, but it also excited me. I nodded slowly. "I am. I'm not going to skulk around here in the dead of night anymore. I'm ready to tell the world that I'm home. That Sabrina's Daddy is home."

"That my babyboy is home."

Sabrina smiled as she looked between the two of us. "I'm so happy. And you know what? I'm ready to make that promise again. And I'm ready to mean it again." She beamed up at the both of us. "Always and forever."

"Always and forever," we agreed.

The End

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