23. Theo

"What the hell, Bianca? Do you realize what I just agreed to?" I bellow when we"re back in her childhood room. She"s currently sitting on the bed, staring towards the wardrobe, but not seeing anything.

"You killed your nanny?" I ask, disgusted by what I"d learned. "At fucking ten years old?" The more I learn about her, the more I realize I have no idea who the woman in front of me is.

I"m pacing the room, shouting expletives, but she just remains silent, her face blank.

"Say something for God"s sake," I plead. "Just say something!"

There"s a momentary silence where we just stare at each other, breathing hard from my frustration and Bianca looking entirely unbothered by anything.

"I was eight," she finally says. "I was eight when she started being too friendly with me." I look at her, a feeling of dread taking shape in my gut. Please let it not be what I think it is…

"Before that, she never bothered me. She said I was a devil child and that no one could save me. I didn"t really care whether she interacted with me or not; at least she wasn"t in my space. I think it happened when she realized that no one cared about me or what happened with me…"

I finally go over to the bed and sit, putting my hand on top of hers to comfort her.

"At first, it was just light touches. She would undress me and study me. And when I"d refuse, she"d hit me. I didn"t back down for a long time, but I think at some point, I realized that the pain wasn"t really worth it. It was just a few minutes of her touching me. Nothing more. I could just bear it and think of something else. But then, one day, she brought her boyfriend with her." The way she recounts the events is mechanic, but I can see her left eye twitching as she stares at the wall. She is affected.

My heart weeps for what I know she"s about to say, yet I have to listen.

"She ordered me to sit on my knees, naked, and with my arms raised in front of the bed." She points to the spot in front of the bed we"re currently sitting on, and I don"t even want to imagine a young Bianca doing that.

"I didn"t know what was happening back then. I was too young. They made me sit like that while they had sex on my bed. I couldn"t move or make any sounds until she allowed me to. I had to watch them rut like animals for minutes on end. When their grunts stopped, I was almost afraid of what would follow…"

"Babe…" I say, trying to let her know she doesn"t need to continue.

"She stopped him before he finished. Instead, she told him to ejaculate on me. It will be fun, she said. And he did. He came all over me. Of course, I didn"t know what that meant, but it still felt wrong. I felt gross."

My own eyes feel damp as I listen to her talk. I want nothing more than to embrace her and make her forget everything.

"Someone called my name in the house, and they somehow stopped. I don"t know whether they were going to do anything more or not… But I knew I couldn"t allow it to go on. I tried going to my father, but he ignored me. I just knew that if no one would help me, I had to take things into my own hands. I put rat poison in her food. She died almost instantaneously. My father had to finally man up to do something, so he just made her disappear, I think. That"s when Drew came into my life. And partly the reason why I needed a bodyguard."

"B… I don"t even know what to say." I take her hand and entwine our fingers. "I"m so sorry you had to go through that. If anyone"s guilty of anything, it"s your father."

She finally looks at me. "I"m a monster, Theo. I"ve always known that. But now I"m dragging you down." She averts her eyes, almost as if ashamed.

"B, don"t you dare say that! It"s not your fault. None of it."

"How can you say that when I"ve gotten us trapped like this? My father… he owns us."

"Don"t worry, we"ll figure something out." I put my hand across her shoulders and tug her head under my chin.

"We"re a team, remember?"

"Even if one half is a monster?" She repeats the word monster as if that"s all she is.

"Even then."

"I wish it were that simple, Theo," she whispers. "We just got thrown into the middle of a battle that neither of us wants any part of."

"We"ll get through this. I promise."

"What about your integrity, Theo?"

"There are things that are more important than that…"