18. Bianca

"Are you not going to tell me where we"re going?" I"m currently driving while Theo is anxiously trying to keep his calm in the seat next to me.

"Come on, babe, just wait until we get there."

"Is it going to be much longer?" I sneak a peek at him, and I see him holding onto the handle.

"Why, Theodore Hastings, if anyone saw you right now, they"d think you"re afraid of your wife"s driving skills," I tease, knowing fully well he always prefers to be the one driving because I"m not the most careful driver. I"d have let him drive under normal circumstances, but I want to surprise him with this weekend getaway.

"I"ll just count my blessings if we don"t die," he mumbles, and I give him a smile. Yes, I drive badly, or I should say recklessly. I might even be the poster child for road rage. Of course, Theo probably thinks my skills are just bad because I"m a woman. I shake my head, smirking. I rarely get the chance to drive when he"s in the car with me, so I might as well take full advantage.

"I have some not so pleasant news," he says, trying to adjust himself in the seat.

"What is it?"

"Your father called." I frown.

"And?"

"He requests our presence for a family lunch tomorrow."

"Of course. He requests. He never asks." I grimace.

"I"m sorry." Theo gives me a sad smile. My father always calls Theo because he knows he will get a positive response from him. Being one of the mayor"s main sponsors gives him some perks, like being able to snap his fingers and expect us to come. My fingers clench around the wheel. It"s not even all about money since I could pour my own resources in Theo"s office, but the connections tie us to Martin Ashby.

"It"s okay. We"ll do the usual in and out." I try to appease him. As if it"s not bad enough that Theo needs him, he doesn"t like the man. Mainly because he"s noticed he doesn"t care about me at all. Theo"s mentioned the issue several times and has told me he wished we could cut ties entirely with him. But given his influence… I bide my time, though. The moment I notice that my father is putting too much pressure on Theo, or threatens him, I snap.

"I don"t know why such short notice. I"m guessing Martin has other guests and wants to parade us around."

"Of course. Why else would he even acknowledge us? Don"t worry, we can put up with it for a few hours. But now, at least for today, we can enjoy ourselves."

"You plan on keeping me in the dark about this surprise of yours?"

"Oh, yes!"

We"re now winding down a path next to some woods. The place should come into view at any moment now. Given that it"s the only house in the area, Theo immediately realizes what I meant by surprise.

"You rented a lake house?" I give him a knowing smile.

"We"ve both been under a lot of stress lately. I thought that maybe if we"re away from all the noise, we could relax."

He suddenly leans into me and gives me a very loud smooch.

"Love you, babe," I laugh.

"Yeah, well, wait until you see the jacuzzi. I made sure there was one." I lift my eyebrows suggestively. We"d had some sexy times in a jacuzzi on our honeymoon. You see, I"m trying to earn brownie points here to distract him from the mess I made.

We pull into the man-made driveway and park the car.

"Babe," he says, inhaling the fresh air. "Best idea ever." I wink at him, and we proceed to unload our small bags from the car.

I"d initially rented this for the whole weekend, but since we need to be at my father"s house tomorrow, we might as well make the best of this. It"s almost mid-May, and the weather is warm enough for the outside jacuzzi. In fact, we may get away with some lake action too, if the water isn"t too cold.

We enter the house, and after checking the rooms, we drop our bags in the master bedroom.

"Shit." Theo stops suddenly. "I don"t have any swimming trunks."

"Don"t worry, already packed them." I remove our swimming suits from my bag, and we quickly change.

The jacuzzi is located right in front of the house, on the porch, overlooking the lake. It"s a fantastic view.

After we get in, I snuggle to Theo"s side, and we stay like that for a moment.

"Babe…" he starts, his hand going to my bare stomach. "Would you be willing to go for a fertility checkup?" I lift my eyes to meet him, and I am momentarily at a loss of words. "The both of us, of course."

I don"t know how to reply. I"ve been putting off for so long, giving him a proper answer, I don"t know how to respond to this. More than me saying yes to this, there are several things I"d have to seriously consider, like my reliance on coke.

"You really want to get pregnant, don"t you?"

"I"ve always wanted to be a father, and I"m not getting any younger. I thought you wanted kids too…" He lets the sentence hang, and I feel the unspoken reproach, so I immediately lie through my teeth.

"Of course, I do. I just hoped it would happen naturally, you know, now that I"m off birth control."

"It"s been six months, and it"s not as if we haven"t tried."

"You"re right. I guess I didn"t really keep track," I lie.

"B, please tell me if this isn"t what you want."

"Of course it"s what I want. I"d want nothing more than to have your child."

"I"m glad." His arms tighten around me. "So, what do you think of my suggestion?"

"We should do it. We should make appointments when we get to the city."

"Thank you!" He kisses my temple before peppering kisses on my whole face. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He turns me around, so I"m straddling him. He leans in and gives my lips a nibble before resting his forehead on mine.

"You really make me the happiest."

Oh, Theo… if you only knew.

* * *

We"re in bed, wrapped in each other"s arms. Discussing children with Theo has made me realize the depth of his desire to be a father. In turn, it solidifies my decision to wean myself off drugs, get clean, and actively try to get pregnant. Who knows, maybe I"ll be a good mother.

A part of me is afraid that I won"t love the child, but at the same time, considering my feelings for Theo, it seems impossible that I wouldn"t love any part of him.

The only outstanding issue is my dependence on coke. I"d had a few lines in the morning, after trying to go a couple of days without. My determination hadn"t lasted long. But now, I am once again motivated. Although, honestly, I"m not looking forward to at least a week of feeling like shit.

I look up at Theo"s sleeping form, taking in his chiseled jaw with just a hint of stubble and his so exceptionally long lashes. My fingers itch to trace the planes of his face, but I don"t want to wake him. Not when I"ve worn him down so much. I smile to myself, just remembering the feeling of his massive body on top of mine. Ever since we"d discussed our attitudes to sex more in depth, Theo"s tried to treat me less like a porcelain doll and more like a woman. Which, in turn, has left me in a state of perpetual satisfaction.

I slowly and carefully get out of bed and make my way to the bathroom, intent on brushing my teeth. It"s a split of a second later that my instincts go into full attention mode. Creaking. I hear creaking. There"s no one else in the house and no one else in the area. Dressed only in a satin nightgown, I quietly go to my bag, searching for the hidden compartment where I usually keep a pocket pistol. I check for ammo, grimacing as I count only five bullets.

I take another look at Theo in bed and decide against waking him. Treading carefully, so I don"t make any type of noise, I look over the baluster to see a few men looking around the house"s bottom floor.

"Ay cabrón, tenemos que terminar esto antes de que el jefe se de cuenta de lo que pasó," one of them says.

"Estúpido," one of the men insults the other. "Si no fuera por tus ideas no estaríamos en esta situación. ?Quién te dijo que puedes disparar a cualquiera? ?Si alguien escuchó?"

"Carnal… Estamos en el medio de nowhere. ?Quién podría escuchar?"

"Ay cállate. Sabes qué pasa si nos regresamos sin prueba que este gringo esta muerto."

I understand enough to know they"re after my husband. Theo, what did you get yourself into?

From what I can tell, the men each carry a 9mm. And I still don"t know how many there are. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I quickly shoot a look at the master bedroom door and debate what to do. If any gun goes off, Theo will wake, and he might come barging in the middle of the shooting. I"m torn, but as my mind wrestles with what to do, I know I can"t waste any time. The men are already on the stairs. I see three.

Three men. I"ll have two bullets left. I just have to hope they didn"t send more than three people. The men are still bickering, not very quietly either. It"s quite apparent they"re low-ranked cartel people.

Taking advantage of their lack of attention, I take position and aim.

I manage to hit two of them, with the third moving around as he sees his partners fall to the ground.

"Hijo de puta," I hear the other say as he takes a few stairs at a time to reach the landing, making him on the same level as me. He points the gun towards me.

Simultaneously, the master suite door opens, and Theo looks at the cartel guy and then at me, his eyes widening in understanding. It all happens in less than a second. The cartel guy immediately changes his focus, turning his gun towards Theo. I move as fast as I can to push Theo back inside the room, and with a cry, I shoot the guy, luckily hitting the hand holding the gun. His own gun goes off, and whether it"s my movement or his lack of aim, the bullet only grazes my sidearm.

"Bianca!" Theo screams, but I try not to mind him. I turn once again towards the intruder and put a bullet through his head.

I open the door to the room and see Theo on the floor, looking in horror at me.

"You"re bleeding." He points towards my arm, but I wave it off.

"We need to leave now!"

"What…" he starts, but I just drag him, quickly picking up the car keys from the vanity.

"Now!"

Theo frowns but doesn"t argue. He pulls on a pair of sweats, and we immediately leave the room, making our way downstairs and towards the car.

While we go down the stairs and over the other two cartel men"s dead bodies, Theo surprises me by picking up their weapons and taking them with him.

"Wait here," he says, and I"m almost tempted to tell him off, but seeing Theo take charge in this situation is practically unreal. His stance changes almost immediately, checking the premises for any other intruders. When he"s satisfied there"s no one else, he waves me over, taking my hand.

We quickly dash towards the car, him in the driver"s seat and me in the passenger. He doesn"t waste any time putting it into gear and driving us off.

There"s one second where I realize just what happened and the fact that I slipped from character. I immediately try to rectify it by making my body shake and willing myself to cry.

"I killed them…" I say in what I hope is a shocked voice. "What happened, Theo? Who were those men? I…" I let my tears flow freely.

Theo is intent on the road ahead, but he pauses just enough to give a command.

"There"s a phone in that compartment. Take it out and dial Marcel."

Internally, I"m frowning at his request (not a request though), but with shaky fingers, I do as Theo says.

"Put it on speaker." I do.

"Do you know what time it is, Theo?" Marcel"s voice comes through.

"We have a problem." Theo"s voice is so severe but composed. I don"t think I"ve ever seen him like this.

"I guessed," Marcel replies drily.

"You were right. We were attacked." There was a pause.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes. Three men. Latino," Theo says, and I add in my best attempt at seeming scared, "They… were… speaking… Spanish."

"Fuck. I didn"t think they"d retaliate that quickly."

"Me neither."

"Are they dead?"

Theo gives me an odd look before answering in the affirmative.

"I"ll take care of it." I quickly give Marcel the address of the lake house, and we hang up.

Theo doesn"t talk to me for what seems like an eternity, driving into the night, until he suddenly pulls over on an abandoned road.

I will my tears to continue to spill, to continue to keep up my pretense.

Theo bangs his head on the steering wheel.

"Theo…?" I ask tentatively, but his voice when he replies scares me.

"Stop!"

We spend a few more minutes in silence. The only noises in the car are my sobs and Theo"s harsh breathing.

"How?" he finally asks, lifting his head to look at me as if he"s never seen me before. His eyes are steely and unyielding. It"s a side of Theo I"ve never seen, and suddenly, I don"t know what to do.

"You killed them," he states.

"They were going to kill you!" I yell at him, thinking that an emotional response is the expected one in this scenario. I"ve seen movies. I"ve seen how people react after such frights, and I hope that my impression convinces him.

"I heard them," I continue, my voice taking on a bleak note. "They were there to kill you." I grab his arm. "Oh, what have you done, Theo?" He"s still looking at me as if weighing my words.

"How did you kill them?"

"My… pistol… you know the one Drew gave me."

"Tell me from the beginning," he demands, and I realize this is my chance to make him believe me.

"I got out of bed…" I start between silent sobs. "I thought I heard steps downstairs. But it couldn"t be, right? Who could have been there? I suddenly got super afraid it was a thief or something. I didn"t even think; I just went for the pocket pistol I always carry in my purse. You know the one… There were three of them. Oh Theo, when I heard what they were saying, how they were going to kill you… I just reacted. I aimed and prayed to God; I got them. But then one got away and… Oh, Theo, he almost shot you! I don"t… I can"t…" I start crying in earnest, and Theo takes me in his arms.

"Shush. It"s okay. We"re both okay and alive."

"Who were they, Theo? Who wants to kill you?"

"Just some bad people who don"t approve of my policies," he says as if it"s the most normal thing to just kill someone for disparate opinions. At that moment, I realize I don"t know Theo at all.

"We"re going to a hotel," he says, and I just nod. A while later, still on the road, he adds, "Never do that again. Don"t you dare try to put yourself in front of a bullet for me? Am I clear?"

"Theo…"

"Am I clear?"

"Yes."