12. Bianca

I"m dazed. My body hums with the merciless possession of Theo"s hands. It"s almost as if I was Pink again… Almost. But the look in his eyes as he"d stared down at me makes me pause.

"You look like a whore," he"d said. In normal circumstances, it could be construed as dirty talk. But coming from Theo, it"s anything but bedroom talk. He"d meant it as an insult. But why?

On shaky legs, I get up and go to the bathroom. The cum leaks down my thighs. In any other circumstances, this would have been hot. Now… it felt sordid.

"Fuck this," I mutter as I divest myself of my torn clothing. Taking a quick shower, I look for Theo, hoping to talk this out.

Well… he certainly didn"t waste any time in leaving.

I"m momentarily angry at him. Fucking me like a whore, in his own words, then insulting me and finally running away? That isn"t my Theo. What the hell happened to him? Did I do something?

Suddenly, I"m too anxious to function, and with the coke in my system, I know I"m not going to be sleeping anytime soon.

I fish my phone from my bag and dial Theo. I can"t just leave this as it is. He"s never acted like this before. Tapping my foot anxiously, I wait for him to answer.

"Answer me, damn it!" It keeps ringing and ringing. I close the call and am about to check his tracker, but I suddenly remember I haven"t set up a new one yet. Damn.

"Fuck," I curse aloud. I can"t deal with this. Not with Theo like this, with no explanation. I try calling again. And again. It"s probably ten minutes later of missed calls that he finally answers.

"What?" His voice is muffled, as if he"s been sleeping.

"Theo?" I ask softly, not knowing what mood I"d find him in.

"What, Bianca?" he barks.

"Where are you? It"s late, and I"m worried."

"Really?" His tone is sarcastic, and I don"t like it. Not one bit.

"Theo, did I do something wrong? Please tell me what"s going on," My tone takes a pleading note. I have no scruples when it comes to this man. If I have to throw my pride away for him? I"ll do it in the blink of an eye. If I have to beg? I"ll be on my knees day and night.

Please don"t shut me out, I say a mental prayer as I wait for his reply.

A few seconds later, he whispers, "Bianca."

"Please, Theo, come home. We can talk about anything you like here. Please come back."

Another pause.

"I"ll be there in a half hour."

"Thank you." He hangs up, and I release a breath I didn"t realize I have been holding in.

I go about the kitchen and prepare a relatively easy meal. He"ll definitely be hungry if he"s been drinking. After I set the table, I take a seat. Staring at the clock on the wall, I wait.

It"s like being in a trance. I focus on the clock hands moving with each second, each minute. I"m so absorbed in it that, hearing the front door open startles me. Lifting myself to my feet, I try to put on a smile for his sake.

"Theo," I say, a bit hesitantly. He"s standing in the hall, his clothing wrinkled and disheveled, his bloodshot eyes red.

"Bianca… I…" he starts, but then he shakes his head. He takes a few tentative steps and then suddenly closes the distance and throws his arms around me.

"Forgive me." His arms are like a fortress around my body, holding me almost too tightly, but I embrace the possession.

"Please, tell me what"s wrong," I whisper, my eyes tearing a little. If there"s one weakness I have in this world, it"s the man in front of me.

"Shh… It"s all my fault. I"m so sorry for treating you like that. It"s on me. I took out my frustrations on you." He still doesn"t let me go.

"Theo… I didn"t mind the sex. But the way you behaved afterward… It was like you couldn"t stand the sight of me."

"No." He shakes his head fervently against me. "Never you. I was disgusted with myself. I took you like an animal."

My mouth seeks his jaw, and I pepper kisses all along his face.

"It was new, but… I liked it. We should do it again."

He accepts my kisses, breathing deeply.

"We"re okay, no?" I ask again, unable to help myself. Something feels off, and I don"t like it one bit.

"Yes, sweet." He finally shifts his head and gives me a kiss on my forehead. "Let"s go to bed."

"Okay," I immediately agree, food and everything else forgotten.

He takes my hand and leads me to our room. I take off my robe and watch as he unbuttons his shirt and then takes off his pants. Lifting the cover, he nestles inside and holds his arms out for me. I go willingly, purring when I feel his naked skin against my own.

"I love you, Theo," I whisper as I huddle even closer to his warmth. I want to melt into him, knowing that if we indeed became one, he"d never be able to leave me. He would be mine. Utterly and completely mine. That"s my last thought before falling asleep, but not before I hear him.

"I love you, B, more than anything."