Chapter 17

“The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.”

Aristotle

Aidan was still frantic for an idea of how to convince his wife of his deep regard when Jenson announced that the wives of the guests present had arrived for dinner.

He had some hazy ideas of what he might like to do, but not a solid plan. Beneath his breath, he cursed. Further interruptions to stall his thoughts! He needed to formulate a proper plan from the pieces he had gathered, but they refused to form into a whole!

The gentlemen adjourned to the small drawing room where Aidan’s sister, his cousin, his mother, and the duchess were gathered. Lily stood in the middle of the room, hopping up and down while holding something unrecognizable in her hand.

The moment she saw him, she ran forward eagerly.

“Aidan! I brought something for you. Annabel had it in her attic. It took us the longest time to find it. Actually, there was a whole crate of them, but we just brought the one because we thought it might be useful.”

Aidan ignored his sister’s excited chatter to stare at what she was holding. “What is it?”

Lily held it up, then carefully pulled and pushed to reveal that it telescoped out into a large sphere. “It is a Chinese lantern. Annabel had them strung for a ball that she and the duke held a few months ago. See!” Lily held it up again, spinning it slowly. “We thought it would be just the thing. To show Gwen that you love her.” Lily stopped, frowning at the paper contrivance before tilting her chin to glare at him.

“You do love her, do you not? That is why we are here?”

Aidan lifted his hand to chuck her under the chin affectionately. Lily’s thoughts sometimes jumbled out of her mouth faster than most could comprehend. He knew the trick was to respond to the most important one first.

“Of course I do.”

Lily smiled broadly. “I knew it! The day of the wedding it was patently obvious to us all, but you told us it was a matter of honor and doing the right thing and so forth. But I told Brendan you had the expression of a man in love. I was watching you closely, and you flinched ever so slightly when Gwen hesitated during her vows.”

Aidan looked about to find that all eyes were on him, and he felt heat rising—to bare his soul in front of so many people. Men! His mother! They were all watching with great interest, including Gwen’s father.

“I do love her. It will be difficult to convince her, which is why I asked for everyone’s help.”

Lily bounced on her toes, reaching out to grab him by his forearm. “This is so exciting. So what do you think? Do you see what it looks like?”

She held the lantern up as far as she could reach, which was not very high, but as Aidan contemplated it, and he cocked his head back and forth, a glimmer of a plan took root as he comprehended Lily’s exuberance about the paper lantern.

Swinging his gaze around the room, he found that everyone was as focused as he. The wives were watching closely, almost breathless, as they waited for his response. His cousin, Sophia, was biting her lower lip while the earl had his arm about her. The duchess, Annabel as Lily had referred to her, nibbled on a fingernail as if agitated, with the duke towering behind her who, too, watched the twirling lantern with a small smile. His mother stood farther back with Lord Moreland at her side, dabbing at her lashes with a handkerchief as if overcome. And Filminster and Smythe looked on from the door, Smythe’s customary grin wide as his gaze followed the motion of the lantern swaying in Lily’s outstretched hand.

Aidan straightened up and grinned. “It is absolutely perfect.”

Gwen’s stomach growled,and she clapped a hand over her offending organ with a hint of aggravation. “Why is it taking so long for the maid to bring my dinner tray? It is late into the evening already!”

Octavia shrugged. She was pulling out Gwen’s things for bed and turning the coverlet and sheets down.

“I ate hours ago.”

“That is hardly helpful.”

The lady’s maid lifted a hand to smother a laugh. “It was to me.”

Gwen pulled a face. If her dinner tray did not arrive soon, she would be forced to leave her room, and she was not ready to bump into her deceitful husband. Not yet. Skipping a meal under the circumstances was illogical because she would just wake up in a worse mood than she was in now.

She still had no notion what to say or do when she finally encountered him, and every time she thought about it, her heart fractured and her eyes burned with unshed tears. So she refused to think about the altercation in her father’s study.

Nay, Octavia’s suggestion to get a good night’s sleep and contend with this benighted situation in the morning was sound. Yet … eating still needed to happen.

Gwen considered going down the back stairs to reach the kitchen directly. Perhaps she could make a sandwich. She had long since emptied the teapot of its contents. Surely she would not run into Aidan if she detoured around the back of the house.

Somehow, her feet would not obey. She was not ready to encounter anyone or talk. Octavia and Buttercup were the only company she could tolerate until she had time to sift through her thoughts and decide how she wanted to proceed.

Thump, thump.

Gwen gave out a loud squeal at the knock on the door. She had been so focused on her thoughts, she had not heard the approaching footsteps.

She threw a glance at Octavia, who shrugged. Gwen did not wish to speak with Aidan, if it was him. Octavia gestured at the door, offering to open it, but Gwen shook her head furtively.

“Gwendolyn?”

She exhaled heavily in relief before crossing to the door to open it.

Her father was grinning, his pearly teeth flashing in the dim hall when she came face to face with him through the doorway. Papa was in good spirits, which was rather surprising considering the last she had seen of him a few hours earlier.

“Papa?”

“It is time to come downstairs, Gwendolyn.”

Gwen shook her head. “I do not wish to see … him.”

Papa pursed his lips. “I would like to discuss what happened, and I promise it will only be you and I. Aidan … is elsewhere.”

“I am not ready,” Gwen replied, her voice low and distressed.

Her father relaxed his smile, quirking his head in sympathy. “Time and tide wait for no man.”

“It is not yet noon. I will face him tomorrow.”

Her father frowned in confusion. “It was always highly frustrating to debate with your mother, and I see that you have inherited the devilish trait.”

Gwen waved a hand. “It is what Chaucer meant when he wrote the line, is it not?”

“Gwendolyn, I am not the gifted scholar you are. I have no notion what you are referring to. Are you trying to be clever?”

She sighed in defeat. Being pedantic about language was not going to dissuade her father from wanting to converse. “Chaucer was referring to noontide, not the cycles of the sea. I was merely stating I would confront this muddle in the morning—at noon, perhaps.”

Her father huffed in a half chuckle. “I see … that is an amusing rebuttal, given the circumstances.”

“Yet it did not work.”

Her father smiled, revealing his teeth once more. “I am afraid not, child. It is imperative we speak.”

Papa held out a hand palm up to indicate the hall leading to the main staircase.

“I will not run into Aidan.”

“No, I swear it. Not until you are ready.”

Gwen stepped out into the hall, leaving the door open for Octavia, and linked her arm through her father’s. “Well, then, lead the way.”

Despite her father’s assurances, Gwen looked about nervously as they walked down the hall and descended the stairs, expecting Aidan to appear any moment. Her husband had a habit of appearing unexpectedly, but she did not wish to see him.

On the main floor, they walked toward the study, and Gwen noticed that the door to the small drawing room was shut. Was Aidan in there, she wondered.

Reaching the study, Gwen dropped into a plump armchair by the fireplace while Papa sat in the matching chair. The hearth was empty, but it was still the most comfortable place to sit and talk together, rather than sit across the expanse of her father’s desk.

Her father tapped his trouser-covered leg as if considering his words.

“This has been quite a whirlwind of events these past weeks.”

Last month she had woken from severe illness to discover that she lived yet. Then she had re-evaluated her life and decided on her plan to adopt a foundling into their home because she wanted a child of her own more than anything. One did not get a second chance at life and waste it.

But, then, unexpectedly, she had been gazing on the most beautiful night imaginable only to have a god of a man recite poetry from the shadows before finding herself wrapped in his arms and enjoying her very first kiss. Followed by a scandal, a rushed marriage, and the discovery that her husband was an insincere liar pursuing family vengeance.

So Gwen nodded in agreement.

“I have spoken to your husband at length, and we have resolved our misunderstanding.”

“Be that as it may, that does not alter the fact of his dishonesty with me.”

Her father wet his lips. “I think it does. Aidan is a man in the midst of a family crisis. His sister was brutally attacked by a servant just weeks ago, and he tells me she is still in danger. He was desperate to solve a murder, and he erroneously selected me as the culprit.” Papa leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees to turn his eyes on Gwen. “Here is the thing, though. I had secrets of my own I was hiding, which entangled this misunderstanding. Honesty from me would have prevented some of what happened.”

“Are you referring to the sold art and property?”

“I am. My plan is to move into business. My income was not increasing, and I found an opportunity to diversify into far more lucrative ventures.”

“The shipping company.”

Her father frowned, slumping back into his chair in surprise. “You knew?”

Gwen nodded. “After you sold the property up north, I needed to make sure you had not taken leave of your senses.”

“How did you work it out?”

Gwen gestured to the desk. “I pried through your office and found the notebook in the bottom drawer. You had written details about the ships—load capacities, the dates of their journeys, information about the captains and officers. I concluded you were considering them for purchase.”

Papa shook his head, befuddled by her confession. “Yet you said nothing?”

Gwen shrugged. “What was there to say? I approved of your plan and saw no need to bring it up. You appeared to have an excellent notion of how to proceed.”

“What of the repercussions?”

“There will be a scandal when it becomes known. That was why you were so adamant that we hold the ball. Because you wanted me to marry before you lowered our status within high society.”

Papa nodded. “Aidan noted there were oddities which led him to believe I might be the man he was looking for. But, now that he has learned the truth, Aidan has arranged for my new venture to be backed. The Duke of Halmesbury, Lord Saunton, Lord Moreland, and Lord Filminster have all pledged to confidentially back me, which means I am assured of success and do not need to commit too much of my funds. It means I can plan something on a much larger scale with far fewer risks. It is more than is required, and he is doing it because he is committed to this marriage with you.”

“He has no choice. He is stuck with me.”

Her father shook his head again. “A man always has a choice, Gwendolyn. And Aidan has chosen you.”

Gwen fidgeted with her skirts in agitation. “I have reflected on what it might be like to be in his situation, and I appreciate the position he found himself in, but that does not change the lies he told me.”

Her father straightened in his chair. “And I think that you have allowed your experiences at school to color your entire life. It is time to let go of the carping of others and accept your worth. It is time because those girls do not matter. What matters is now. What matters is your marriage.”

Tears burned Gwen’s eyes once more, and she swallowed them back with difficulty. She refused to begin crying again. “How can I possibly believe he has chosen me willingly?”

“I think you should allow him to convince you. It is time to apply that astute intellect of yours to observe what is in front of your eyes.”

Papa rose to cross the room, opening one of the terrace doors and standing aside.

Gwen frowned, peering behind her father but seeing nothing but the black sky. Stars twinkled in the distance, but the firmament was very dark without a large moon to light it. Very dark indeed.

Her father bobbed his head toward the door. Gwen clenched and unclenched her fists, wanting to see Aidan, but not wanting to see him. Several moments passed as she considered her options.

“Go to him, Gwendolyn.”

Soughing, Gwen begrudgingly stood up and moved across the room. Pausing in the doorway, she stared down at her slippers, searching for fortitude.

“You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.”

She gave a reluctant smile. “You are not such a terrible scholar, Papa. You recite Aristotle at the strangest times.”

“There is always time for Aristotle,” her father replied in a high-pitched voice, and Gwen giggled despite her trepidation. It was an eerie echo from the past, her mother’s voice traveling down the years as if she stood in the room with them. It was precisely what she would have said had she been here now.

Taking a deep breath, Gwen stepped onto the terrace.

Her father drew the door shut behind her, and she was left alone outside. With some confusion, she looked about for Aidan, before catching sight of something very unexpected.

Down the length of the terrace, close to where she had first met Aidan, hung a lit orb in the direction of the waned moon. Searching about the terrace, she still did not find her husband, so with no small amount of curiosity, she approached the sphere.

It was a large lantern made of paper, lit from within, and it swung above her from the eaves of the house. Gwen realized in amazement that it was a moon. With her head tilted back, she took in the beauty of the lantern in the landscape of the dark night, before noticing that many candles were lined upon the stone balustrade. Their flickering flames were much like the twinkling of the stars, and it became clear that the scene had been set to be reminiscent of the night she had met Aidan in the moonlight.

It was so utterly beautiful. Gwen raised her hands to her mouth, muffling a sob as she understood that this setting had been created for her.

“She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that’s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

Thus mellow’d to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.”

Gwen choked back another sob, turning to find that Aidan had approached to take a bended knee behind her. Lord Byron’s words had never sounded so sweet, but Aidan needed to speak words of his own. He had hidden behind the writers of bygone times for too long.

As if he had read her thoughts, he reached out, taking hold of her hand and raising it to his cheek.

“I am so sorry, my love. I am sorry I deceived you, but more than that, I am sorry I never spoke the words in my heart.” Aidan drew a deep breath, gazing up at her in adoration. “You captured me from the moment you recited the verse of Manilius. I knew I had found the other half of my soul, the woman who would endlessly challenge me. Whom I would cherish for the rest of my days. It was impossible to walk away which is why I kissed you in the moonlight. I love you, Gwen Abbott, with every bit of my soul.”

Tears streamed, dripping off her chin to run down her neck, but Gwen ignored them. “How can I know that is true?”

Aidan stared pensively back up at her, biting his lip. “What if I told you a secret? An embarrassing secret that a man would only tell his beloved wife …” He hesitated. “And perhaps a very close friend.”

Gwen used her palms to wipe her cheeks, and nodded, intrigued to hear what he might tell her. Would she finally learn something tangible about her moonlight visitor?

Aidan rose up, peering over his shoulder before leaning down to whisper in her ear. “You are the only woman I have ever lain with, Gwen. The only one who ever tempted me to such heights of passion.”

Gwen gasped, pulling back to gaze up into his face. “Is that true?”

Aidan peered about again, as if afraid of being overheard. “It is.”

“You mean the other night when we …”

Her husband’s brows shot up, and he swiftly raised a finger to press her lips shut. “Shh … and yes.”

Gwen savored the feeling of his naked finger against her mouth while she thought about his confession. Slowly, a warmth began to spread through her body, sending shivers down her arms and legs. Even her head felt giddy. Pulling his hand away, she leaned in and whispered into his ear. “I was your first?”

He bobbed his head, murmuring close to tickle her hair with his warm breath. “I left that afternoon to receive lessons on what to do. I … did not want to disappoint you.”

It was not the sort of secret a man wished to share, especially not with a lover. Gwen threw her arms around his neck, awed to be trusted with such private information. “Oh, Aidan. I love you, too!”

His lips found hers in the glow of the lantern above them, and as before, Gwen found herself being deeply kissed, as if she had brought a mythological lover to life with wishes made upon a magic moon.

Behind her, the sound of the terrace doors opening barely registered as she tangled tongues with Aidan and accepted him into her heart until, finally, they both raised their heads to look to the doors.

Gwen was taken aback to find much of Aidan’s family gathered there. The duke and duchess stood arm in arm at the back. Lily and Filminster stood at the front, with Lily’s elfish face beaming in the light of the white paper lantern. The earl and countess watched from the door, while Aidan’s parents respectively stared down at their hands, presumably embarrassed to see their son engaged in a passionate embrace.

Slowly, they each raised their arms toward her as if they wanted to hug. “Welcome to the family, Gwen Abbott!” Lily cried.

Aidan coaxed her forward to meet their guests, and one by one they embraced her, tugging her close to buss her on the cheek and welcome her in their own words. Even the duke, who tended to be more reserved than the others, drew her into a quick hug with a thick, muscled arm. “Welcome, Gwen. My apologies for any deception, but the duchess and I will make it up to you, I swear it. We are proud to have you join us.”

Gwen was overcome by incredible warmth. Outside of her own family, she had never experienced such emotion, and from such important members of society. Soon she was openly weeping again.

Lord Moreland handed her a handkerchief to dab her face. “I am so relieved to learn your father’s true plans, young lady. I look forward to a successful future with Frederick Smythe.”

Gwen nodded, using the square to blow her nose as she finally admitted her father had been correct—Aidan was the right man.

Her stomach growled in loud agreement, and Gwen’s eyes widened in horror. Papa had come up behind her to give her a quick hug, and chuckled. “I think it is time to eat, everyone. I am afraid my daughter has been expecting her supper for some time, but I instructed the maid not to bring it to her.”

Lily grabbed her by the hand, yanking her toward the open door. “I am hungry, too! I have not eaten since breakfast, and that was at eight in the morning. Annabel and the duke like to rise early, so I am acquiring the habit, too, but it takes getting used to—such long periods between meals.”

Gwen giggled, clasping the hand of her loquacious sister-in-law as they walked in together. How much fun it would be to form a connection with each of Aidan’s family. Her brother, Gareth, would enjoy getting to know them and their children. Little Ethan was a delight and had mastered the game of chess far beyond his years. He and Gareth would enjoy many fierce battles in the future, was her prediction.

Glancing back, she found Aidan right behind her. “Are you going to tell me why you thought my father murdered a man?”

He grimaced. “I suppose if I must.”

Gwen thought about it for a second, and decided then and there that it was time to stop retreating. It was time to learn how to stand up for herself and demand her place in this world. This was the perfect place to begin.

“You must.” She was proud of the firmness in her voice.