12. Renegades and Reckoning

JASPER

M arigold eats with her dad and brothers, and I eat with Slate and Hazel. If they notice that every inch of my skin smells like Marigold, they don’t say anything. If she was at the table, they’d definitely notice her flushed skin and the glances she keeps giving me, even across the meadow. Being roommates doesn’t excuse eyeing each other like that.

I head directly home, but Marigold lingers, walking with Hazel. The girls are giggling and my stomach flips. It’s not that I don’t want anyone to know we’re involved, but they will all assume we are well on our way to being mates and Marigold isn’t ready for that label, if she wants it at all .

“Okay, what are we playing?” Onyx hollers the moment he’s through the door. Cedar follows him quietly.

“I’ve got a new game for us,” Marigold chimes, following them in.

“Hey guys,” I say from the kitchen, pulling a 12-pack of IPAs from the fridge.

“I nabbed a few snacks from Crickett,” Marigold says. She holds out a plate to me, grinning. It’s stacked with cheese and salami, beside an impressive array of pickle spears.

“You got pickles?” I ask incredulously.

Marigold shrugs. “Just in the mood, I guess,” she says with a wink. Using two fingers, she raises a pickle to her mouth and takes a bite. At my grimace, she breaks into silent laughter.

Hazel joins me in the kitchen, her dark brown hair loose around her shoulders. She hands me a casserole dish while giving Marigold a strange look.

“What did you make?” I ask, peeling back the tin-foil.

“S’mores bars,” she says.

Onyx leans over her shoulder. “Wow, those look fantastic.” He swipes a bar before I can even set them down.

Hazel’s eyes crinkle as she smiles at him. “I added caramel between the graham crackers and chocolate. You’re welcome.”

“I love you,” Onyx says before taking a huge bite and groaning .

Slate shoves him away and grabs Hazel around the waist from behind, kissing behind her ear as she cackles.

My eyes go to Marigold to find she’s already looking at me. She smiles, showing her teeth, and slowly runs her tongue over her top teeth. Fuck. This is going to be a long night not touching her if she keeps taunting me.

“What’s the game?” Cedar asks, opening a beer with a crack and a hiss.

Marigold pulls a card game out of her bag and waves it back and forth. The brown and gold cover says, “Sheriffs and Outlaws,” with a little sheriff’s badge over an old fashioned pistol.

We load up plates and lay out the cards. Slate sits on the sofa and Hazel sits on the floor between his legs. Cedar grabs the armchair and Onyx stretches out on the floor, leaving one seat open. Marigold sits beside Slate, tucking her feet up under her, and motions for me to sit beside Hazel with my back against the sofa right below her shins.

The game isn’t terribly complicated and Marigold explains the basics. Everyone draws a card to assign their roles, but keeps them secret. Only the Sheriff has to turn over his card to reveal his role - it’s Slate. He flips the card over with a sigh.

I lift my card and peek. Outlaw. To win the game, my task is to eliminate the Sheriff. There are two Outlaws so I’ll have some help, though I’ll have to figure out who. Anyone who fires at the Sheriff is likely the other Outlaw. But the moment we do so, the people assigned as Deputies will attack us and defend Slate. They win if the game ends with the Sheriff alive.

The last person is assigned Renegade. “The Renegade wins if they’re the last person alive in the game,” Marigold explains. I turn that over in my mind, trying to predict how that may play out.

Marigold hands me a stack of cards, a mixture of actions for shooting others or blocking their shots, along with a few random bonus cards to give special abilities.

“Any questions?” Marigold asks.

“How are we supposed to know who is what and who to shoot?” Onyx asks, a whine in his voice. He shakes his dirty blonde hair out of his eyes and squints at the cards in his hand.

Marigold winks. “You’ll have to figure it out based on what everyone does. Most likely a Deputy won’t shoot at the Sheriff, right?”

“Great,” Slate says sarcastically.

“Aw, you’ll be a great Sheriff,” Hazel coos, ending with a dark laugh.

Shaking his head, Slate lays down a horse card, making it harder for us to shoot him. Hazel goes next, and with a flourish, she tries to shoot Cedar.

“Do you even know who I am?” Cedar asks, tilting his head with a curious look.

Hazel scrunches up her nose. “If I’m the Deputy, then there's a seventy-five percent chance that you’re an enemy, right?” I almost miss it, but Marigold reaches out and pinches Hazel on the back of her arm .

“Alright.” Cedar frowns, moving his marker down one life. We each get five hits before we are eliminated. Hazel looks up at Marigold, an innocent flutter of her lashes the only sign of silent communication between the friends.

Marigold cranes her neck and smiles sweetly at me. “Sorry Jasper.” And she lays down a card to shoot at me.

“What the hell?” I cry out, just dramatic enough she knows I’m teasing. “Well, guess what? Too bad!” I say, setting down a card to block her shot. All five lives still intact. She pouts, crossing her arms and leaning back into the cushion. She’s adorable.

I lay down a gun card before me so I can shoot people further away. Onyx lays down his own gun and Cedar fires back at Hazel.

“Watch it,” Slate says menacingly.

“She could be the Renegade, out to trick you.” Cedar points out.

“I would never!” Hazel rests her chin on Slate’s knee, wrapping her arm around his calf.

Back to the Sheriff, and Slate lays down a gun so he can shoot further. “You’re strategic,” I note. He shrugs.

Hazel takes another shot at Cedar, and then Marigold takes a shot at me. With a glare, I send one back at her and she gasps. We both move our markers down one life.

While everyone’s eyes are on Onyx’s hemming and hawing over his next move, Marigold bends down low, leaning over my shoulder with her hair curtaining her, and murmurs, “I’m going to get you back for that.”

My hand moves to her calf and I squeeze it lightly. Her smile is devious.

Onyx decides to lay a specialty card that shoots at everyone including himself, and only Slate and Onyx come out unscathed with blocking cards. Down to three lives.

In the next round, Cedar is eliminated. He flips his card to reveal the role of Deputy.

“Whoops!” Hazel says. “Sorry, Cedar. Thought you were an Outlaw.”

Marigold studies Onyx, her lip between her teeth. She decides he is the next target, and over the next two rounds, both she and Hazel work to eliminate him.

This gives me a chance to shoot at Slate. Unfortunately, it proves to be a mistake, because he still has plenty of blocking cards and all five of his lives. Sliding my marker down to zero lives, I groan and flip the card over to reveal Outlaw, a twin to Onyx’s role card in front of him.

“I knew it!” Marigold says. She grins at Hazel who is looking far too pleased with herself. Slate who is looking suspicious of both women.

“One of them has to be the Renegade, and the other is your Deputy,” Cedar explains the obvious, resting his chin on his fist and studying the pair. Slate lays down another bonus card which gives him an unnecessary ability to shoot further, effectively buying himself time to figure out which girl is which role .

“She’s the Renegade,” Hazel accuses. Marigold narrows her eyes at her. Hazel’s next shot is at Marigold, and Marigold fires back.

“I’m the Deputy,” Marigold says, pressing her lips together as Slate looks between them.

“Sorry,” he says, shrugging and laying down a card to shoot Marigold.

“Thank you, honey,” Hazel says, kissing his outstretched arm.

“How could you do that?” Marigold says. She slaps her hand over her role card and slowly slides her palm back to reveal her designation as Deputy.

Slate grimaces, looking at his mate. She laughs and thumps down a final card to shoot Slate and win the game.

“Sorry, babe, I’m the only winner this round!” She lets out a whoop, and Slate grabs her and hauls her up into his lap, scolding her while kissing whatever he can reach.

I flip Hazel’s role card to confirm - Renegade.

Marigold’s fingertips skim the nape of my neck before she stands to get a drink.

Cedar says his goodbyes and then heads out, mentioning something about a long day tomorrow transplanting something in his garden.

Marigold folds her legs under her, settling back on the sofa behind me. She holds a little plate with some chips and another pickle spear. It crunches as she takes a bite.

“Want some?” she offers, leaning forward .

“I don’t actually like them,” I say quietly, causing her to shake with silent laughter.

Onyx takes his seat and we all sit around the coffee table enjoying the remaining snacks and beer. It gets quiet, but it’s the heavy quiet that makes my lungs constrict a bit. Slate and Hazel are both watching Marigold and me.

Hazel lets out a sigh. “Guys, we need to talk.”

Nausea rolls in my gut. I’m not usually an anxious person, but nobody can hear “we need to talk” and not react.

“What’s up?” Marigold says brightly, though the pitch is too high.

“It kinda seems like things have changed a bit. Did you guys start dating?” Slate asks.

Marigold startles in her seat, and I work to keep my face calm.

“We’re roommates,” I answer evenly. “And even if we did get involved, I would hope everyone would respect our privacy. I’m not sure why this keeps getting questioned.” Hazel cocks her head and raises one eyebrow. She knows me too well.

“Hold on, what did I miss?” Onyx says, sitting back with a frown.

Marigold’s mouth gapes, looking between Onyx and Hazel, her cheeks getting pinker by the second. “Okay, we kissed.”

Slate bites back a smile, but Hazel narrows her eyes at me. “Just roommates? ”

“Oh, no, it’s not Jasper’s fault. It just kinda happened. Like an accident,” Marigold stutters. My muscles tense, a headache starting behind my eyes.

Onyx interrupts, “Are you fucking kidding me? Accident my ass. You become roommates and then decide to go at it? Easy access, I guess.”

“How about you watch your mouth,” I growl.

“How about you stop taking advantage of your roommate,” Onyx says, venom in every syllable.

“You don’t get a say-” I snap back, but Onyx stands, leaning into my space.

“Do you have feelings for her, or are you enjoying toying with her?” he asks, a deadly calm in every syllable that I’ve never heard from Onyx before.

“She’s my friend,” I say, standing to face him.

“Then knock it the fuck off.” His eyes flash electric blue, and I know we are seconds from a fight. Wolf shifters losing control is dangerous for everybody.

I’m sure my own eyes are glowing a similar shade. I can feel my wolf answering his challenge. Because of my higher position in the pack, I’m driven to react to disrespect or challenges, like the bold stare Onyx is currently giving me.

Marigold’s hands go to my arm, but Hazel tugs her back .

“Onyx, back off” Slate warns, the authority in his voice breaking through the tension.

Onyx turns and storms out, slamming the door behind him. Finally I can turn, and Slate’s eyes are lit up green as he regards me. I take a deep breath and push down the instinct to fight and defend.

“He’s really upset,” Marigold squeaks, shell-shocked.

Hazel pinches the bridge of her nose. “I get the feeling friends with benefits isn’t a thing for wolf shifters?” Slate nods, his shoulders sagging.

“Look, you guys know why we don’t do this kind of thing. Your wolf instincts don’t know the difference. You’re going to start acting like mates and end up hurt because you don’t mean it.” Slate squeezes Hazel’s shoulders.

“You’ll ruin your friendship,” she adds.

Nodding, Marigold wipes at her eyes and lets out a sniffle. I can’t stand when she cries; it hits me like a punch to the chest.

“I appreciate your concern, but at the end of the day it’s not your business and I think you’ve overstepped,” I say firmly. Before Hazel can argue, I add, “You’ve upset Marigold, so let’s circle back to this once we’ve all had time to calm down and think.”

Slate takes Hazel’s hand and leads her toward the door, giving me a sympathetic bro nod. Before the door shuts, Hazel calls out, “I love you Marigold. I’m here for you.” I can’t even be angry that she’s already Team Marigold if this becomes a conflict.

“Well that went downhill fast,” I grumble, walking back to the sofa. Marigold is curled up like a hedgehog, legs drawn up and cheek against her knees.

Taking a deep breath, I sink down onto my knees in front of her and slowly pry her hands apart. Once I get her to release her grip, her legs fall and she straightens into a seated position, though she’s still hunched over. Her beautiful face is blotchy and her eyes are red.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she whispers.

“I know,” I say. That doesn’t change that what they said was true.

She throws her arms around me, laying her head on my shoulder, so I loop my arms under her legs and lift her. She clings to me as I walk her back to our bedroom. We might be in trouble, but I can’t sleep without her.

Gently, I lay her down on our bed and then walk around to the other side, pulling my shirt off as I go. She props herself up on her elbows, watching me. The tears on her cheeks are drying.

At the edge of the bed, I hesitate. What’s best for her? To continue this physical relationship when she has no idea how to handle the emotional side? This is all becoming a mess faster than I realized, and we have to figure it out.

Sliding under the covers, I roll onto my side and prop my head up, mirroring her pose.

“I’m sorry,” she says, reaching out to tentatively touch my chest, like she needs the contact. “I didn’t know what to do with how upset he got.”

“It’s fine,” I say, resting my hand on the hollow of her waist. “But I need to know what you want. We weren’t clear before. Am I an experiment for you?”

Long, wet lashes frame those blue-green eyes. “No. ”

“So, what am I?” My voice betrays how desperate I am. I would give anything to hear that she loves me, because I am falling for her and I can’t slow it down.

She takes a shuddering breath and sits up. “I don’t know. It’s still so new, and I feel… confused, I guess.”

Confused is better than friends with benefits. A step forward she isn’t ready to label.

“Do you want some space until you’re not confused?”

Her strawberry-blonde waves sway over her bare arms as she shakes her head. “I don’t want space, but are you okay with giving me time to figure it out?”

Without waiting for an answer, she slides her leg over me and pushes my shoulder so I land flat on my back. Leaning down, she lowers her voice. “Space is the last thing I want. I’m always thinking about you. I don’t want to be apart. Is that bad?”

Her words are irresistible. She might not be ready to recognize her feelings toward me, but they’re there. Clear in the shine of her eyes and the way her hands spread over my skin.

I answer by pulling her face down and covering her mouth with mine for a long, slow kiss.

Her breathing shudders. My thumbs wipe away the last of her tears as I frame her face with my hands. Unease shines in her eyes. This undefined connection between us weighs heavily across her and I want to take some pressure off of her.

Words tumble out before I can think better. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be. I’m not going anywhere. Boyfriend, hook up, I’ll take anything you give me. I just want you.” I know how stupid it is, but it’s the only way I know how to make things easier for her in this situation.

Marigold searches my face, as if she can sense the struggle raging in my heart and head. “Okay.”

She gathers the fabric of her dress in both hands and pulls it over her head in one smooth motion. The world could have stopped spinning and I wouldn’t have noticed.

My hands graze over her ribs and lightly skim the swell of her breasts. She leans forward, one hand on my chest, pushing herself into my hands.

“If you made me come that hard with your fingers, I’m a little scared of what you can do with your cock.” Her voice is husky.

This girl is unbelievable.

My fingers dig into her skin. It takes two steadying breaths before I can speak. “That’s the thing,” I say, wincing at her parted lips and vulnerable expression. “I don’t want to do that until I’m claiming my mate.”

Swallowing, Marigold’s face falls. “That makes sense.” She rolls off me and stretches out, arms crossed over her bare breasts. A blush colors her cheeks.

“Where are you going?” I murmur, brushing her hair over her shoulder to expose that glorious bare skin. Her mouth curves into a hopeful smile.

She runs a hand down my side, thumb stroking my abs. Leaning in, I kiss her sweet mouth, putting all my longing and devotion into my slow, deliberate movements. We kiss and let our hands rove, until she lays her head down on my pillow and nestles under my chin. It feels incredible to wrap my arms around her and feel her breathing even out. She’s addicting, and I have no guarantee she’s mine.