Chapter 17

Chapter

Seventeen

Evelyn

T he window track scraped my stomach as I dropped onto Nathan's leather couch. This place—I knew it. Nathan spoke of it once. A hidden sanctuary, he'd called it. His man cave. Deep in pack lands where an alpha could retreat.

I scoffed internally. I could only imagine what he got up to here away from prying eyes. A shiver wracked my body as I righted myself. The entire place reeked of him. My wolf shrank back, cowering within me. She remembered, too. Remembered his cold eyes and cruel touch, the way he crushed us under his thumb.

Memories flooded my head. The coppery tang of blood in my mouth as I bit my cheek to keep from screaming. Sinking to the plush rug, fighting to breathe through the panic squeezing my lungs.

My hands started to shake. What if coming here was a mistake? What if he was here? What if?—

I gasped as a hand settled on my shoulder, flinching on instinct before Rowan's scent wrapped around me like a blanket. I leaned back into his chest without thinking and felt his twitch of surprise.

"I'm sorry." I said the words, but couldn't pull away. The steady beat of his heart echoed through me, drawing my pulse away from panic.

Rowan slipped his arm protectively across my chest, and I clung to it. "Don't be." After a few long seconds, he let go to rise and close the window, locking it and drawing the shade. "We don't have to do this," he murmured, blue eyes searching mine with concern. "Say the word, and we leave. Right now."

I pressed my lips together and shook my head. Callista's scent was here. Hard to find because of so much Nathan, but it was stronger here than in the woods.

I blinked as my eyes adjusted, trying to reconcile the decrepit outside with the lavish furnishings within. Expensive leather couches, gleaming hardwood floors, tasteful artwork on the walls. It was like stepping into an alternate reality.

Rowan ground his teeth.

"We have to check the rooms."

Rowan's face hardened. He turned to face me. "Fine. But we do this my way now, Strawberry."

Warmth spread through my middle at the sound of that name on his lips. It was silly. I'd mocked Bruce endlessly at work when I found out he'd been calling some girl muffin . But the way it sounded from him…well. I might've felt a tad less judgy.

Rowan slipped the straps of my bag off my back and slung it over his shoulder, and I could see the resolve in his eyes. He'd given all he could, and if I pushed him on this, he would break. "Your way," I whispered, and his eyes melted like mountain pools.

Rowan pulled me close, folding me into him like a hen with her chick. We moved from room to room with Rowan keeping me in his vision at all times as he cleared closets and bathrooms. We found no trace of Callista. No clothing. No toothbrushes.

Her scent permeated the air in the kitchen but then vanished. A dead end.

Helpless rage built in my chest, bubbling up my throat. I slammed my fist into the kitchen doorframe. "He has her, Rowan! That bastard has my best friend, and it's all my fault!"

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind, pulling me against a broad chest. "We'll find her. I swear it." Rowan's voice rumbled through me. "But how in the hell could you think this was your fault?"

A broken sob escaped me. "You don't understand. The things he did..." I shuddered violently. "I should have stopped him. Should have been stronger?—"

Rowan spun me to face him, eyes blazing. "You listen to me, Evelyn Berry. Nathan's actions are on him and him alone. You survived. You escaped. That was miraculous, do you hear me?"

I nodded, tears streaming down my cheeks. "But?—"

"No." He shook his head. "Nathan's an alpha. Whether he got there rightfully or not, his pack is his responsibility. You and Callie were his responsibility and he treated you like shit." Rowan's eyes drank in the shadows from every corner of the room. "He'll pay. That's a promise."

I nodded and sniffled as his hands cupped my face tenderly. "It kills me that that's what you thought love was."

I exhaled, wrapping my hands over his. "I never thought that was love. I just…"

Rowan fixed his eyes on me, his wolf so close to the surface his eyes gleamed. My wolf rose to meet him, and energy pulsed between us.

"You never thought you were worthy of it." Rowan's voice rumbled through the kitchen, sinking into me like a hand against soft clay.

"We're going to rewrite this story. Give it a new ending."

"Rowan—"

Without another word, he scooped me up and strode purposefully toward the bedroom. My heart hammered wildly, but I didn't resist, some part of me understanding his intent. Needing it.

Gently, so gently, Rowan lay me on the bed, settling beside me. One hand smoothed my hair back as the other found my hip, his thumb caressing soothing circles.

"You are worthy of worship," he murmured. "Can I show you?"

I swallowed hard, nerves and longing warring within. "I...I'm afraid," I confessed.

"Of me?"

I shook my head. "No." It was the truth. Maybe I had been afraid of him, but the relief of his scent moments ago spoke truth. No . I wasn't afraid of Rowan Steele.

Words bubbled up my throat before I could stop them. "I'm afraid of wanting too much. Of losing myself again."

Rowan's lips brushed my forehead. "You won't ever lose yourself. Because I'll be there to catch you."

His hands found mine, then slid up to cover my wrists. With aching tenderness, he lifted them from the bed, stretching my arms over my head. "I'm going to show you what love looks like. What you're worthy of."

My pulse fluttered wildly in my throat, my wolf panting in anticipation. Somewhere far in the distance I was aware that we were still in Nathan's cabin. That we'd come here searching for Callista, and that the dagger was still wrapped up in my bag on the floor next to the bed.

But all thoughts left my head as Rowan's breath warmed the inside of my elbow. Holy shit. He kissed me with such tenderness, my stomach dropped out from under me. Rowan trailed his lips up to my wrist and back again, then threw his leg over my hips, crouching over me as he replicated his soft torture on my second side.

"I love the scent of you," He murmured into the soft flesh beneath my shirt sleeve. "Your skin is like velvet."

Tears stung the corners of my eyes. Nathan had never said anything like that to me. He hated my arms—said they looked weak. As if reading my thoughts, a low growl rumbled in Rowan's chest. "Terrible liar, remember?"

A ragged laugh escaped my lips, and Rowan drank up the sound like it was water. He dropped his hands from my wrists and traced my edges, making me shiver. His fingers landed at the hem of my shirt. "Is this okay?"

I nodded, then sank into the bed as his palms pressed flat over my stomach. He moved down the bed and lifted the fabric, pressing his cheek over my belly button.

I pulled my hands down from over my head and threaded my fingers in his hair, trailing over the tops of his ears and lightly scratching his scalp. I loved how his stubble felt against my skin. Loved how I could hear his breath coming faster. And his scent—the wild spice of his arousal sent my wolf into a near frenzy.

"Rowan—"

"Shh. My way."

I grinned. "That was regarding the room search."

"I don't remember putting any time limitations on that edict." He trailed his fingers over my ribs, then lifted his head to look at me as his hands found the waistband of my pants. "This okay?"

My breath caught in my throat. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be giving in to this magnetic pull. I was only in Black Lake for a few more days, and both of us knew it. Yet I couldn't stop myself from nodding.

Rowan didn't drop his eyes as he flicked the button open and pulled down on the zipper. His chest rose and fell as he pulled the waistband down over my hips.

Finally, he let himself look. I shifted on the bed and lifted my legs to allow him to pull my pants free. He tossed them on the floor, his eyes traveling over my bare legs. I was instantly grateful I'd worn nice underwear. It wasn't sexy, but at least it was new. Ish.

"Any man who took you for granted is a damn fool." He lifted my right leg and ducked underneath it, resting my knee on his shoulder.

My wolf practically salivated seeing him there between my thighs, and my head spun like a top. I had no idea what he was going to do next, and the possibilities both thrilled and terrified me. Trust him.

I wanted to. I wanted to give myself over to him so much it physically ached. But Nathan had been kind once, too. He'd lavished me with gifts and praise for months before the first time he hit me. Was that what alpha's did? Lulled you into a sense of security before they took everything they wanted?

A desire to please him flooded me, making me desperate to keep this feeling—to keep him interested so this would never end. I put my hand out, feeling for his belt, but Rowan circled his hand over mine.

"No, Strawberry. You don't need to lift a finger." He placed my palm on the bed. I couldn't keep the fear from flickering across my face, and Rowan read me like a book. "There is nothing you could do or neglect to do that would make me walk away right now. Do you understand?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, and Rowan slid closer, draping my leg over his back. "You deserve this. You deserve to lie back and close your eyes and be touched. Be kissed. You don't have to earn this, Evelyn."

A tear slipped from the corner of my eye and rolled down my cheek. Rowan reached out and swiped it away with his thumb, then pressed it to his tongue.

"I want to believe you." My voice was barely a whisper.

He nodded and turned his head, pressing his mouth against the inside of my knee. "Wanting to believe is enough." His eyelids shuttered closed as he wrapped his hand around my thigh, rolling his tongue slowly over my skin.

Rowan took his time kissing every part of me. Almost. He never flirted with the lines of my underwear, even when I was desperate for him to try. When he finished, after flipping me onto my stomach and rubbing every muscle in my back, he lay down next to me, pulling me against him.

For long moments, we simply lay entwined, Rowan's hands skimming up and down my arm in gentle strokes. My core felt like it was filled with hot coals, but all the tension had seeped from my limbs, and I breathed deeper than I had in years.

"Tell me a story," I whispered into the silence. "Something happy."

Rowan hummed thoughtfully, the sound rumbling against my shoulder blades. "Remember that summer before..." He trailed off, and I knew he meant before everything fell apart, before the pack splintered.

"It's okay." I ran my fingers over his. It was. Somehow hearing Rowan talk about my past didn't seem nearly as scary as it had the first time that topic had been broached.

He cleared his throat. "We found that hidden swimming hole in the woods."

A smile tugged at my lips, the memory rising hazy and golden. "I remember. You dared me to jump from the top of the waterfall."

"And you did." Pride warmed his tone. "Fearless, even then. I think—" He exhaled, and I squeezed his hand.

"You think what?"

"Maybe my wolf knew something even then."

My breath caught as Rowan's arms tightened around me.

"I know this isn't the time or place," he whispered. "But I need you to know, Evelyn...how I feel won't change. I won't ever force you to accept this. But I'm not going to stop trying."

Tears pricked my eyes, emotions too tangled to name rising in my throat.

Rowan shifted, tugging me until I rolled over on my back, then cupped my face, tilting it up until our gazes locked. "No expectations. No alpha demands. I just want you to know that you're loved. Unconditionally. Irrevocably."

A sob hitched in my chest. I pressed my face into his neck, letting his heartbeat anchor me. "I don't know what to say," I rasped.

And for the first time in longer than I could remember, I felt exactly what he'd set out to do. The first sentences of a new story.

One where I was cherished.

Treasured.

Safe.

Rowan held me until my breathing settled, then pulled back to look at me. "I do have one request, though."

I raised an eyebrow and flicked my gaze down to his hips. He laughed and shook his head. "I know you're curious, but you're going to have to wait." I smacked his chest, and he held onto my hand. "As much as I love sleeping on concrete or tree branches?—"

"You were sleeping outside my room!"

His grin widened. "I think you should stay with Will and Marissa."

I frowned. "I'm not going to be a charity case."

"It's not charity. Actually, it's a favor. Marissa's within a month of delivery. I'd love to know someone else was watching out for her."

"And…"

"They live down the street from me, so I can keep an eye on you."

"There it is."

He pressed his lips against my forehead. "I'm going to do it either way. This option gives you home-cooked meals and better carpet."

"When you say it like that, how can a girl refuse?"

Relief eased the tension in Rowan's broad shoulders. "Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me."

I managed a smile, but it felt brittle. Trepidation still churned in my gut.

Trust him.

Rowan rose and found my clothes. I thanked him, and then as I dressed, I ignored the warning bells clanging in my head. I pushed aside the reminders that I was heading back to Seattle, that it wasn't safe for me to be here. Mostly, I prayed that by letting Rowan in, I wasn't making the same mistake over again.