Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

The Earthquake Studies Office on theMontana Techcampus was situated on the third floor of the Natural Resources Building, and even though he was fit, by the time Tyler reached his office, he was out of breath. This was due to the fact he’d hauled up the granodiorite he’d found at Crooked Tree, and with every step, it appeared to get heavier.

“Tyler, there’s someone in reception for you,” Jan called over. A fellow geologist, she noticed the granodiorite and came over to poke at it.

“Who is it?” He was expecting a package from North Carolina, statistical analysis paperwork they wanted him to examine.

“I didn’t ask, sorry. Did you just carry this all the way up the stairs?”

He left her peering at the rock and chuckled under his breath. He recalled Martin carrying the rock down the hill to his cabin and the glare of indignation on his face at having to help. In hindsight, Tyler privately thought that was when he’d first started to fall for Martin.

He walked past the office where the data acquisition team worked and stopped to check on the thirty-sixth installation he’d just worked on. It was feeding back what was needed, showing a few peaking results, but nothing major. Part of him wished there was a problem because then he’d have the chance to go back to Crooked Tree to fix it, maybe take Martin with him, make love on a blanket under the stars.

I have it so bad.

He took the stairs two at a time, aware he must have just missed whoever was waiting for him, and they’d been there a while as he huffed and puffed up the stairs with the rock.

At first, he didn’t see anyone, and then the receptionist pointed outside.

“He went outside, that way.”

Suddenly he knew who was visiting, and he was breathless by the time he found Martin in the small park, sitting on a bench and staring upwards.

“Martin!” he said and sat next to him, waiting for him to turn so they could kiss. Martin didn’t turn and maybe he wasn’t here to kiss at all. Disappointment welled inside Tyler and took a tight hold.

“Hey,” Martin murmured.

“Are you okay? What are you doing here?” Tyler asked.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Martin turned to face him. “I guess I wanted to tell you that I’m staying at Crooked Tree for now, maybe for a long time, maybe so I can have a family. I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I know I can’t live in a city, and I need Crooked Tree right now. That doesn’t mean I don’t need you or that I don’t love you, because I think I do. No, I know I do?—”

Tyler stopped him talking with a kiss. When they parted, he smiled. “Banana.”

They kissed again. The taste of Martin was intoxicating, and he wanted more.

“Can you say that again?” Tyler asked, cradling Martin’s face in a familiar way.

“I love you.”

“Good thing I love you, too. Also I have this plan. I’ll get a permanent place near Crooked Tree and make it down there every spare moment I have. I don’t have to spend every day in the office. I can take sabbaticals, remote research, installations, and you might be able to plan vacations to work with me when I’m surveying, and maybe we can start making a home together.”

“You’re serious?” Martin asked, his eyes wide with shock. “I thought I was coming here to explain… never mind.”

“Explain why we can’t be together? Nope, no way, not even entertaining that idea.” He stood, inspired. “I'm taking my vacation. The agency owes me at least three weeks, I’ll come back to Crooked Tree with you. We can find that place. We’re only an hour away here, easy to commute, and maybe I can balance working remotely. You can start your new role, we can make love in our new bed and eat burned bacon, and we can take each day as it comes. What do you think?”

Martin didn’t seem any less shocked, but this time it was tempered with a smile.

“Yes,” he said simply.

And Tyler’s world was changed by that single word.

Martin couldn’t believe how long it took Tyler to work through the paperwork on his desk. The delay was half because he was meticulous about what piece of paper went where, but also that he reported to someone who was out of the office and had to wait for her to call in. With an agreement for a three-week work from home topographical analysis project in Tyler’s pocket, they headed to Billings to pack some clothes for Tyler. Admitting he’d hitchhiked down to Butte had Tyler side-eyeing him, but at least it didn’t mean they were bringing two cars back.

His apartment was spacious, and every window had a view of another building. Not grass or sky. Tyler didn’t admit it, but he was relieved to get out. They headed north to Crooked Tree and drove straight through. It was mid-evening by the time they got there, and they parked Tyler’s Prius between two SUVs.

“You know what?” Tyler began, his hands crossed on the wheel. “I never even checked to see if they have a free cabin here. My rental agreement on the other place is done and dusted.”

“It was filled straight away. They’re busy here. But you can stay with me in the staff cabin. I’m sure that will be okay. I hope it’s okay. They said they were going to… never mind.” They’d offered him a place of his own, but he didn’t know what that meant. Maybe one of the more remote cabins? Or a tent somewhere? Who knew?

They got out of the car, carrying Tyler’s bags, and for a moment Martin didn’t know which way to go. Up to see Justin or Nate or one of the other people who would need to know he was back, or directly down to the staff cabin where maybe he and Tyler could take up where they’d left off with the kissing. They didn’t get very far, caught by Sam on the bridge.

“Martin.”

Martin still wasn’t entirely sure about Sam’s opinion of him. There had been that handshake before, but was this Sam waiting to warn Martin away?

“I have this for you.” Sam held out his hand, and in his palm was a set of keys on a Crooked Tree keyring.

“What are those for?”

“Our place, or at least, it’s your place now.”

“Sorry?” Martin had begun to reach for the offered keys, but something stopped him. “What do you mean?”

“Justin and I always intended moving out. We have a place to go to: a new cabin in the woods, up behind the stables. You’ve probably seen it, a rambling thing with all these windows. If you’re staying, and I think you should, you have your own place.”

“I can’t accept that.”

Sam frowned. “Of course you can. Justin wants you to stay, Adam wants you to as well, and if Justin is happy…” He shrugged and then clapped a hand on Martin’s shoulder. “Take it for what it is, dude, a place to start over with family. Don’t let your brain fuck this up.”

“But a whole place?—”

“You’d be on-site; we were talking about you working with Jay, taking the finances off him, with Gabe teaching now. We’ll all sit down and make decisions together. But, right now, go and see your place.”

He and Tyler, who had hung back a little, shook hands, and then Sam extended his fist to Martin, who stared, confused. Sam reached out for his hand and formed it into a fist, then bumped the two together.

“We can talk more tomorrow.”

Justin was standing a little way up and Martin drew back his shoulders and headed over to him.

“Thank you,” he said, because that was the best and most perfect thing to say.

“I could have told you straight away when you first asked me why I didn’t cross you off my list,” Justin said, and pushed his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans. “I didn’t because I wanted you to stay here, wanted to know what kind of man you’d become.”

“Okay…”

“Love is why. When you asked me why I let you live, it was because of love. Because Sam showed me that my black and white world was actually filled with all different shades. I knew in my heart that you deserved something good in your life. So yeah,” he looked down then and scuffed his foot in the mud. Martin had never seen him looking so vulnerable.

“Thank you for that,” Martin said, and extended his hand to Justin. “Thank you for giving me the chance to find my own kind of love.”

Justin smiled crookedly and took his hand, pulling him close in a brief bro-hug, and releasing him just as quickly.

“Now, go, look at your new place,” Justin said, and stepped back and away, going down to join Sam. For a moment Martin stood still and alone, and then Tyler’s arms came around his middle.

“Everything okay?” he asked, more than a little worry in his tone.

Martin tuned in Tyler’s hold. “Everything is more than okay.”

They headed up the stairs to the apartment, entering a big room with a small kitchen and two doors which he imagined were for the bedroom and bathroom. There was a huge basket on the counter, a card, and a balloon that said New Home , along with a bottle of champagne. He couldn’t for one minute imagine that restrained-Justin had done this; it had to be Sam. He opened the card—a picture of a horse—and read the words out loud.

“We changed the sheets. Enjoy your new home. Sam and Justin.”

Martin looked around again. It seemed to him they’d done a lot more than just changing sheets. The place was empty apart from a sofa. There were faded parts on the walls where photos had hung. They weren’t returning.

This place was his. Tears pricked his eyes, and he ruthlessly pushed them away, but Tyler must have seen them because he pulled Martin into a hug and held him close.

“Tired?” Tyler asked when they moved apart. “Let’s check out the bedroom.”

Hand in hand they went into the bedroom, a large open space with a window and a tree close outside. The bed was certainly big enough for two men. On a small shelf, there was a glass vase filled with purple flowers, and next to it a plaque with the Crooked Tree logo, and inset into the O’s were what looked like the gems he and Tyler had found at the creek. He traced the letters and couldn’t help but smile as he saw his belongings had been moved here, piled neatly in the corner. It seemed he really had been evicted from the staff cabin. The room smelled of fabric conditioner, and the bed looked so inviting. He let out an unmanly squeak when Tyler jumped him and pushed him back onto the bed, rolling on his back and pulling Martin to sprawl over him.

“This could be your home,” Tyler announced dramatically and kissed him. “You can make something here.”

Something shifted inside Martin’s heart, a cap of pain and self-hatred that he kept there to stop himself from hurting. What if he did stop here? What if he gave up trying to escape the past and maybe stopped to live in the present? With this place. With Justin and Adam, with Sam, and the rest of the characters who formed the family in this place. Not a toxic family that pretended to know how his life should be, but a group of people who just wanted him to try and be safe?

“I have a horse, you know,” he announced to Tyler, who stopped kissing his neck to look him in the eye.

“A horse?”

“Cookie. His name is Cookie because he looks like an Oreo.”

Tyler smiled into a kiss. “I love you, and for you, I’ll learn to like horses.” He kissed down Martin’s body, divesting him of clothes, and then stripping his own, darting back into the main room and coming back with lube and condoms.

The vase rattled on the shelf, just enough to draw their attention.

“Earthquake,” Tyler said. “Just a small one.”

Martin tensed. “Earthquake? Shit. Maybe we should do something.” Panic gripped him and he looked at the doorway. “Should we stand in a doorway?

Tyler chuckled. “That wasn’t big enough to cause issues. It was just a small ground trembler.”

“Yeah, but maybe you should just check the results. What if it gets worse?”

“I promise you, it was maybe a three, and I’m not leaving you right now for a regular non-happening. I want to stay right here, kissing you.”

“You’re sure?”

“If the ceiling falls on our head you can tell me I was wrong,” Tyler deadpanned, and Martin stared right at him.

“What? You’re joking. Right?”

Tyler kissed him then, “Of course I am. It would be the floor that would go first.” He snorted a laugh and Martin pressed his lips together and tried to look serious.

“You’re an asshole,” he declared.

Tyler grinned then. “I promise it’s nothing to worry about, now, less talking, more kissing.”

The kisses grew so heated Martin was ready to come from rubbing against Tyler’s thigh alone. Tyler pulled him on top in their usual position. Martin didn’t want a usual position. He didn’t want awkwardness and being careful, he wanted to experience fire and push his boundaries, and he wanted to feel at ease with Tyler.

“Make me feel it all,” Martin murmured, and sat up, “fuck me.”

“No, Martin, you don’t need to?—”

Martin kissed him quiet and then sat up and reached for the lube and slapped it into Tyler’s hands. “I want you inside me, but you’ll have to help me ride you.”

Tyler’s mouth fell open at his bold words, and for a few seconds he hesitated, looking uncertain, and it seemed Martin had to say something else.

“Please,” he said. “I want to do it this way.”

Tyler suited up, then squeezed lube onto his fingers, helping to ease the way, and when it was time, he helped and squirmed, and they laughed and smiled at the faintly ridiculous movements until there was no more laughing, and instead there was a sigh from Tyler and the impossible press and burn of Tyler’s cock inside him. At first, it was unreal. It hurt, it pulled, it wasn’t right, they weren’t right, and Martin nearly climbed off and ran for the hills.

But then, in a smooth move, Tyler tilted his pelvis, pulled up his knee, and Martin’s weight was supported and there…

“Fuck,” Martin said, his balls tightening, his cock impossibly harder, and the sensations were incredible.

He pushed up, slid down, saw the tendons in Tyler’s neck as he gritted his teeth and tilted his head back. “So close,” Tyler groaned, and then he closed his hand around Martin’s cock, and the end was quick. Just the touch of his hand, Tyler’s cock in his ass, he felt impossibly full and tight, and he held on to his orgasm as long as he could until there was no holding it back. He shot hard, painting Tyler’s chest, as Tyler heaved up and cursed as he came as well.

Martin slumped then, carefully lying on Tyler, sticky, messy, and utterly sated. He could be happy here; he could have this.

“This is home,” he whispered against Tyler’s throat. “Here in this place, but mostly here with you.”

But Tyler was asleep, and Martin couldn’t move, and he gave in to the inevitable and slept.

When he awoke the next morning, scratchy, aching in all the right places, he knew one thing for sure. He’d not had a single nightmare.

“Morning sunshine,” Tyler called cheerfully from the door. “Bacon’s nearly done. Grab a shower.”

Martin showered, shaved, and rummaged in his bags for clean jeans of which he had one pair left. Then he borrowed one of Tyler’s sweatshirts emblazoned with the logo Geology Rocks , and ambled out to the scent of slightly charred bacon.

“Look at you in your boyfriend’s stuff,” Tyler teased as they kissed good morning, and then they sat at the small breakfast bar to eat. A knock interrupted them a few moments in, but it was Tyler up off his seat and heading down the stairs to the door with encouragement that Martin eat faster because they had things to do. Martin didn’t want to know what those things were. He was more focused on starting his new career here at Crooked Tree doing whatever they thought he could do.

Finance probably. He was good with numbers. His skills in the kitchen were limited, but he was a quick learner, and mostly he was good with the guests. They liked him. He could do that.

He heard Tyler’s footsteps on the stairs with those of a second person, and Tyler looked around the room quickly, already ridiculously house-proud. Then he stood to face whoever was visiting. It would probably be Justin or Sam again or maybe Jay wanting to talk finance.

He pasted a smile on his face, feeling calm, feeling centered, and then he saw who was with Tyler.

His sister. Alice.

“There’s someone here for you,” Tyler said a little late and moved aside.

She stood there, uncertain, her long wavy hair a cloak around her shoulders, and she didn’t move toward him.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Martin said, loud enough for her to hear.

“Jamie,” she murmured when she was near enough that they could talk without shouting. Right behind her, Tyler didn’t move, but his presence was welcome and reassuring.

“Martin,” he corrected her. “I’m not Jamie anymore.”

“Martin, I’m sorry?—”

Fear gripped him, and he wanted to push her away, then slam the door shut and lock himself inside. “You shouldn’t be here. I promised your stepfather I wouldn’t talk to you.”

“I know what he said,” she said, and a single tear rolled down her face. “But I want to know my brother.”

“There’s not much to know,” Martin said, and now he was defensive. “Our mom vanished with you and left with me with a psychopath.”

She winced, and he felt all the guilt. She hadn’t even been born, so technically Mom hadn’t taken her instead of him.

“I know she did. But, when she found out she was dying she told me about her brilliant boy. Look, can we talk, alone…” She indicated Tyler, who immediately took a step to leave.

“No, Tyler stays. Whatever happens here, Tyler can be here with me. Please don’t make him leave.” Oh god, he sounded pathetic, broken, and an overwhelming blackness threatened to consume him.

“Mom had to leave. He was going to kill her.” Alice didn’t wait to leap into defending their mom. “Then, she met my stepdad in the hospital. He was a politician, there for… look, it doesn’t matter… all you have to understand is that she jumped from the frying pan into the fire. He controlled her as much as David Crane did but it was a lot more subtle.”

She paused, and he could see the tears in her eyes, wondered at the kind of life she’d had.

“I loved Mom,” she continued. “And I’ll never forgive her that she didn’t tell me about you until it was too late. But, please don’t hate her, and don’t hate me. You’re my big brother, and I want you in my life.”

She held out a hand imploringly, and when he didn’t immediately take it, she turned to leave. “okay,” she murmured.

Only, out of everything she’d said, there was only one thing he’d really heard, and he caught up with her at the door a few strides away. “I couldn’t ever hate you,” he reassured immediately.

She turned to face him, and there was hope on her face.

“You’re my little sister, and…”

“I know you came to Mom’s funeral. Dad told me when I confronted him about you.”

“You confronted your dad?”

“Mom told me he knew about you, that she asked for his help to find you. The excuses were all there. You moved too much. You didn’t have a fixed address. Then he told her our dad had died and that the trail had gone cold.” She was so earnest, so open, and his cloak of fear began to fade.

“It’s okay,” he said offhand.

She shook her head. “Please, Ja—Martin, you’re all I have left, and I need to… I want to…” Tears ran down her face, and she held out a hand again. This time he took her hand and held her.

“Hello, Martin,” she said.

“Hello, Alice,” he replied.

They talked for the longest time, Tyler heading out at one point to bring back food. By the time Alice fell asleep on the sofa, wrapped in a thick blanket, Martin was exhausted as well, crawling into his bed and snuggling back into Tyler.

He had a home, a sister, and a man he loved.

How did he get to be so lucky?