Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

JORDAN

The news hit the Internet first. A few Twitter posts that used the hashtag #JordanGay. He didn’t even notice them until a few people actually referenced his Twitter handle in retweets.

“Rumors, that’s all it is,” Micah reassured him as he scrolled through the tweets on his cell.

None of them were particularly bad. No one said anything awful; one or two said it was obvious, but most of them were just passing on the gossip.

And then the photo appeared.

Him and Ryan in the tent. Kissing.

Pressed up against each other, with Ryan holding him still and Jordan with his hands in Ryan’s hair. The way his head was tilted, it was obviously him, but Ryan’s face was hidden. However, the bulk of him and the fact he was in uniform was a dead giveaway of his identity.

Jordan wasn’t sure what to freak out about first—the photo itself, Ryan being in it, the fact he was being publicly outed, or that someone on the crew had taken the photo in the first place.

He felt sick, and he sat down on the sofa as his legs gave way under him. “We need to… I have to… Ryan.”

Micah took the chair opposite. “First we find out who took the photo. Right?”

“But Ryan….”

“He’s next on my list. The news isn’t going to spread, J. You’re not Brad Pitt.”

Jordan wasn’t concentrating and got confused. “What?”

“A-list, okay? You’re not A-list. There’s no need to think this will go viral. People won’t care.”

“The channel buying this movie might care. Jesus, Micah, this could have them backing out of taking it from us, and we’re done. All the money you and I put into this, all the time… this could destroy Darby Films.”

“Get a grip,” Angie snapped from next to him and snatched the phone from his hand. “Most people in the industry know you’re gay,” she said. “This is a couple of tweets about a guy who was once in a kid’s show. It will blow over.”

Jordan wasn’t sure what to be more focused on, that he’d been consigned by both his brother and Angie as B-list, or that the photo was out there, or hell, that Angie just blurted out that the industry was aware of his orientation.

“And Ryan is already out, right?” she continued. “He’ll get some local notoriety for a while, and then it will be done.”

Only it wasn’t so easy.

The photo didn’t go viral and mostly vanished after a couple of days, and thank God no one from the channel buying the film actually called and pulled out. But by the time the photographer had been identified—an intern who currently stood shakily in front of him—Jordan had garnered attention from way too many people. Including a text from Ryan with the ominous words We need to talk.

“Why?” he asked Shawna. The slip of a thing was in her college gap year and had seemed so into everything on set, always zipping here and there, 100 percent invested.

“It’s okay, I’m going,” she said, her blue eyes bright with unshed tears.

She held herself upright, obviously holding her emotions in check, and Jordan had expected something different. Crying, apologies, or anger maybe, but not this quiet acceptance.

“You want some hot chocolate?” he asked, inspired.

Seemed like she was going to fall over if she didn’t sit down. Her eyes widened and he didn’t wait for her answer, getting two hot chocolates and gesturing her to follow him to the table.

Shawna sat down and folded her hands on the tabletop in front of her.

“Tell me what happened,” Jordan encouraged.

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” she said.

“From the beginning is always good.”

“My brother is gay,” she said. Like that explained it, or justified what she’d done.

“Okay, and?” Jordan encouraged.

“He’s at college, his first year, and he was bullied in school. I’ve been telling him about you, and how you seem happy and you have a career and it doesn’t scare you that you’re gay, just that you don’t make it public. I sent the photo to him because he didn’t believe me.” She cupped her hands around the chocolate. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know his stupid asshole of a friend would share it.”

“That’s what asshole friends tend to do,” Jordan said.

“I know that now, and I understand I need to go. I won’t tell anyone anything, and I promise I regretted it as soon as I took it. I didn’t send it for days after I took it, and then one night after he called me and he was crying, and it just… broke my heart. I sent it to him.”

The words tumbled out, but she still didn’t cry, although she’d made her lip bleed where she’d bitten it and the tears were there waiting to fall.

“You need to respect my privacy,” Jordan said. Because hell, what else could he say? “But I don’t want you to leave, and we’re dealing with the situation.”

Shawna stared at him blankly, as if she couldn’t believe what he’d just said. “Mr. Darby?—”

“Jordan,” he corrected her. “From what I’m told, you’re doing a really good job, and don’t think I didn’t notice how hard you work. I’m not going to get rid of you because of one photo.” He sighed heavily and sat back in the seat. “Anyway, maybe this is what I needed to happen.”

“Mr.—Jordan, I’m genuinely sorry.”

“Shawna, thank you. And tell your brother if he needs to talk to someone, I’m here.”

She left, chocolate in hand, still looking shell-shocked.

Jordan didn’t move until Micah slid into the seat she’d left.

“You let her stay, and you understood why she did it, and you even reassured her.”

“She tell you that?”

Micah huffed a laugh. “No, she just looked at me and I used my supertwin sense. I knew you’d crumble when she cried.”

“She didn’t cry. Nowhere near it. She told me about her brother.”

“Zach.”

“You know her brother’s name?”

“He’s her next of kin,” Micah shrugged.

Jordan felt suddenly sentimental. He may be the front of this company, but without Micah running everything behind the scenes, he’d struggle. “I love you. You know that, right? Without you, Darby wouldn’t be a thing.”

Micah wrinkled his nose. “Back at you.”

“What are we going to do if the channel tells us they don’t want the movie? What if I start trending for real and no one buys into the gay man playing the straight lead?”

“Then we’ll sell it somewhere else. It’s a good, solid Christmas romance.”

“And if it doesn’t sell?”

“Stop it Jordan, okay? Let’s just go with the flow here.”

But that was easier said than done, and now a whole day had passed and the channel had made their concerns known. They weren’t too worried, but used their bargaining position for more of Jordan’s time with publicity leading up the film’s release. Jordan felt like he was getting off lightly and agreed. As of today everything was still on track. After all, it was only March, and the release was eight months away. A long time for a tweet and a picture to die down.

He just wished he didn’t have the specter of Ryan wanting to talk hanging over him. He still had to explain all this to Ryan—and Ryan was probably going to kill him.

As if on cue, “Ryan’s here,” Angie called from outside catering, and Jordan groaned and scrubbed at his eyes. Could the day get any worse?

He went out to meet Ryan, who was walking toward him. How the hell do I explain this?

When they met, Ryan took his hand and tugged him into the trees, rounding on him and cradling his face.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“What?”

“Rookie showed me a photo he found online. Are you okay?”

And right there and then, Jordan fell in love with Ryan, the man with compassion on his face and understanding in his eyes.

Love . Right into it. Head first.

Jordan cleared his throat to stop himself blurting it out. “I’m more worried about you.”

“Me?”

“They only have to look at the photo and see your uniform, and they’d know it was you.”

“Who?” Ryan looked confused, and then the confusion turned to something softer. “I’m not hidden away, and no one has an issue with their sheriff being gay. Hell, they knew that when they voted me in. I don’t care who knows it’s me, and if anyone has concerns, then that’s their issue, not mine.”

The words made Jordan’s worry lift a little. If Ryan could be so calm, so worried about Jordan that he came here to find him? I don’t know what to do with this feeling.

“Are you sticking around?” he asked. Ryan was in uniform and chances were Jordan was just a stop in his day.

“I can.” He stepped back a little and considered Jordan, who was still in his character clothes.

“I’m done in about ten. We’ve wrapped my scenes today. I could meet you at the cabin.”

“How about you come back to mine? I have my niece and nephew staying tonight for family dinner, and you can meet my brothers.”

This seems real. This will be me meeting Ryan’s extended family—a step forward into the unknown where there’ll be no going back.

“You don’t have to, though. We could just meet up tomorrow like we planned.”

Caution laced Ryan’s tone, and abruptly Jordan didn’t want to hear that; he wanted the soft affection from his big bear of a man. “I would love that. I’ll meet you at yours.”

Which was how Jordan found himself at the table in the Carter kitchen above the bar, with three of Ryan’s brothers. Saul, he knew. The eldest of the five boys, he was a cool guy with a wicked sense of humor under the serious layers. Jason was the firefighter, cute and very funny. He was in lust with a girl called Becky, a veterinary assistant he’d helped out with a gas leak at her place two weeks back. She frequently texted him pictures of herself and various animals she’d dealt with at the surgery. Which, of course, was something Ryan and Saul teased him about.

Aaron was quiet, the odd one out, the middle sibling and a paramedic. He also seemed to be the peacemaker, and as a result, he took the fence on everything. When Ryan teased Jason, it was Aaron who stopped him; when Jason teased back about the photo on Twitter, Aaron kicked him under the table.

Jordan only knew that because Aaron missed and kicked him instead. “Ow!”

“Sorry,” Aaron apologized, but at the same time he couldn’t help a twitch of laughter from quirking his mouth.

Then there was Jake and Milly, as cute as kids could be, young, sweet, and obviously loving their uncles. What was more obvious was that the four men spoiled them completely. They planned trips out, sleepovers, a ride in Uncle Ryan’s sheriff’s car, another in Uncle Aaron’s ambulance—although both uncles explained they wouldn’t be able to go out for really real .

Which just left Eddie, the second eldest, who wasn’t there. Eddie, the father of the two kids, who were.

“You can go watch television,” Saul said to them. “Take the dessert.”

Milly immediately stood up. “C’mon, Jake. Uncle Saul wants to talk about Daddy.” She sounded so grown up.

No one made a sound until Jake and Milly, with plates of chocolate cake, disappeared through a door to the left of the kitchen, presumably to some kind of sitting room.

“Are we?” Saul asked.

“Are we what?” Ryan replied, cutting two slices of cake and passing one to Jordan.

“Talking about Eddie?”

“Jenny,” Aaron said gently. “We should talk about Jenny. I like her, the kids like her, and hell, Eddie is in love with her.”

“I think she’s scared,” Saul said with a loud sigh. “Of the family, of being an instant mom.”

Jordan followed the conversation as best he could. Eddie liked Jenny. Eddie told Jenny he loved her and Jenny ran.

The brothers discussed and argued, and no one came to any conclusion.

Then Jordan had an idea that he thought had some merit. “You should just tell her she wouldn’t be on her own. That all four of you, and Eddie, would be there for the kids, and that she wasn’t marrying them, just Eddie, and that she could ease into things slowly.”

All four of them looked at him as if he had said something completely wrong—but then Saul nodded.

“She’s an only child who looks after her dad. Coming into this —” Saul swept a hand to indicate the whole table. “—would be overwhelming.”

“Shit,” Jason said, “you think that’s it?”

The door to the kitchen opened. Another man walked in, who looked so much like Ryan that Jordan knew this was the missing Eddie, and behind him, clutching his hand, was a beautiful woman with raven hair and green eyes. She looked wary, but she didn’t pull away from Eddie’s hand.

The brothers at the table all started talking at once.

“We’ll look after the kids.”

“We love the kids, they’ll be fine, you’ll have space.”

“Eddie loves you, he will make this work.”

“Jenny, we’ll help, and you’ll never know that?—”

“ Guys! ” Eddie interrupted loudly.

Everyone stopped talking and watched as Eddie slipped an arm around Jenny’s waist.

“I need you to look after Jenny,” Eddie said. “I have to talk to the kids.”

Saul stood and offered his seat, and Jenny sat, right opposite Jordan. They exchanged smiles.

“I’m Jenny,” she said.

“Jordan,” he said and extended a hand over the remains of the chocolate cake.

Saul scraped one of the kids’ chairs to a new spot and sat down, looking faintly ridiculous on the higher seat.

And then everyone had absolutely nothing to say.

“He asked me to marry him, again,” she said.

Still no answer; everyone looked at her expectantly.

“I said yes.”

“Thank God,” Saul said with feeling, and that opened the floodgates. By the time Eddie came back through the other door, with Jake in his arms, clinging like a monkey, and Milly near dancing at his side, it was obvious both kids were happy with the proceedings. And given the way Jenny scooped up Milly into her hold, it seemed she was equally as happy.

“When can we find my dress?” Milly asked as she twirled Jenny’s hair around her finger.

“How about the same time I get mine?”

Jordan lifted his glass, the orange juice nearly gone. “A toast to Eddie and Jenny,” he declared, and Ryan and his brothers followed suit.

“When is the wedding?” Aaron asked.

“June, we think.” Eddie looked at Jenny as he spoke, and she smiled and nodded.

“June,” she agreed.

“Saul?” Eddie began and looked at the others in turn. Some message passed between them, an agreement of sorts. “Will you be my best man?”

Saul swallowed the sip of drink he’d just taken, seemingly fighting all the emotions at once—he was overwhelmed. “I’d be honored,” he said. And then he toasted. “To a June wedding.”

“You’ll be next,” Jason teased Ryan, who colored and stared down at the table.

“Yep, just not sure who wears the dress,” Eddie pointed out, and then huffed in pain and glared at Aaron, who’d evidently done more of his kicking under the table. “What?” Eddie asked innocently and then shrugged. “About time all of you settled down.”

Eventually, Eddie and Jenny left with the kids, and congratulations followed them out the door. Then Jason, who said he was on early duty, left with Aaron close behind. Saul excused himself to the bar, and only when everyone else had left did it occur to Jordan that no one had done the dishes.

He rolled up his sleeves and poured water onto soapsuds, swirling the water around with a brush.

Ryan cleared the table, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around Jordan’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Sorry,” he said, “my brothers are assholes. Well, some of them. Eddie and Jason mostly.”

Jordan turned off the water and turned in Ryan’s arms. “They’re all awesome,” he said, cupping Ryan’s face with his wet hands and grinning up at him when he winced and cursed. “You’re still my favorite, though.”

Yep. Ryan was the very best.

“Will you come back from LA for the wedding?” Ryan asked, his tone wary, a little nervous.

This was the moment that Jordan made some kind of commitment to the man who’d stolen all the parts of his heart. But what if Ryan didn’t actually want him back? What if this was just a month of sex and fun that would naturally end next week when the movie was done?

“Do you want me to?”

Ryan kissed him then, a gentle kiss, and whispered against Jordan’s lips. “ Yes .”

Jordan’s heart lifted and he deepened the kiss for a moment before pulling back. “Then I’ll be here.”