Epilogue

Epilogue

ONE YEAR LATER

Justin had taken to spending a hell of a lot of time up at Silver Lake.

He never told Sam why, and Sam didn't press. Sometimes there were shadows in Justin's eyes, shadows that Justin didn't want to discuss, but he at least stayed around Sam, hugging him, kissing him, needing him. Staying up at the lake, however, was a new thing. For some reason, Justin was pulling away, needing space, and not relying on Sam. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Sam didn't know.

So Sam being Sam, he followed his lover one day.

They'd been together nearly a year now, and recently, Justin had been quieter than normal. Sam was worried. Did Justin want to leave Crooked Tree? Or him?

Justin had settled back into working with the horses, but mostly his work was on the cabins, learning how to maintain them. He said he needed the physical exercise and to be outdoors. There was no sign of anyone wanting Justin dead, and even though Justin was wary and concerned, he was beginning to settle into the idea of being at Crooked Tree forever. They'd heard nothing from Rob; there was no sign of government officials wanting to talk to Justin. It seemed like Rob had done his job clearing the way, making a deal with the senator to keep himself and Justin safe. Ryan confirmed that the warrants for Justin were deleted from the system only a few days after Justin finally decided to stay at Crooked Tree.

With Sam.

And the two of them made a life together. Each day they would go back to the small apartment over Branches and make love; or sit on the bed, reading; or walk through the forest, talking. Justin had even bought an off-road bike and together they would explore the extent of Crooked Tree. They even made their way to the point where the explosion had been all those years ago. But, they hadn't gone the whole way, Justin freezing, and Sam not pushing it. Maybe one day they would go there.

But right now there was peace, love and need in every minute they were together, and Sam was happy.

But now he was worried, and following Justin was the only way he thought he could handle things.

Sam walked up to the lake. He was still not that keen on riding, definitely in the Jay camp of "only if it's an emergency." When he rounded the final corner, he couldn't see Justin on the shore or swimming, and for a second felt grief that Justin had lied to him. He wasn't here.

"Sam?"

Sam whirled to face Justin, who was sitting on a rock set back in the trees. Next to him was Adam; they both wore guilty expressions.

Doubt assailed Sam, but he pushed it to one side as soon as it hit him. There was nothing going on between Adam and Justin.

"Hey." Sam pushed his hands in his jeans.

"I need to go." Adam slid down from the rock and brushed off his jeans.

"Don't leave on my account," Sam said.

"I need to get back. Ethan's home tonight." He winked, fist-bumped Justin and Sam, and then untethered Diablo. Adam mounted up and trotted away from the lake.

"I didn't mean to chase him off," Sam apologized.

"You didn't. We were finished." Justin patted the rock. "Sit."

Sam hesitated briefly and then climbed the natural steps to the top. The rock itself probably left over from some ice age movement or something, and it had a smooth, flat top. From there you could see over the natural divide into the warm pool.

When Sam sat down, Justin took his hand.

"Everything okay?" Justin asked.

"I was just looking for you," Sam answered quickly as Justin laced their fingers together.

Justin squeezed his hand. "I thought you were working late."

"I was. Only, you've been quiet, and I was worried."

Justin knocked shoulders with him. "I know, and I'm sorry. I need to explain."

Abruptly, Sam didn't want to hear reasons why Justin needed space. "You don't have to."

Justin ignored him. "I do, I've been working with Adam, on his memories, and meditating."

"Meditating, like… ommm?" Sam held out his other hand and pinched his fingers together as he spoke.

That earned him another shoulder bump, but Justin didn't let go of his hand.

"Ass. And yes. The water is the same color as your eyes, and I focus on it, getting my head straight so I can come home one day and not bring the ghosts with me."

Sam nodded and looked out over Silver Lake. "Is it getting any better?"

"Every day," Justin said. "And every night I'm with you."

Sam's face heated. "Yeah?"

"I love you, Sam," Justin murmured.

Justin never failed to say that every day, but there at Silver Lake, with the water blue in front of them and the mountain rising before them, Sam felt every syllable right down deep in his heart. And he selfishly hoarded every sound they made.

"I love you too."

"I was thinking," Sam said, after a short time. "About Ethan and Adam."

"What about them?"

"When Ethan proposed, Adam didn't even hesitate, he said yes, and that was it, such an easy decision for him."

Adam still had missing memories, but he'd learned to live with that, and he and Ethan were now officially engaged after a Valentine's Day proposal, the wedding planned for Christmas. Sam was already envisioning the kind of cake he wanted to create with Ashley.

Justin looked down at his feet. "Hell, d'you think you'd like to do that one day? Get married, I mean?"

Sam's heart swelled. He didn't have to think about it. "Yes, one day. That is what I see in our future." He paused. "When you're ready."

Justin squeezed his hand. "Sam, what if I'm ready now?"

Sam's chest tightened. Justin had become so much more in the last year, not lost in the past or holding hate in his heart. The killer he'd once been, the tool others used to keep the country safe was gone. Or not so much gone as put to rest. Sometimes, Justin would wake from nightmares seeking Sam's hold and breathing through the fear. Other times he would be quiet, introspective, lost in his memories, and he would search out Adam, or call Ryan, or hug Sam. He had coping strategies, talked to people; he'd even spoken to Jamie Crane, who promised to visit one day.

Justin would never be the boy he used to be. He was a man with a complicated past and a future that he desperately wanted.

"You have my heart," Justin murmured. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

"Stay with me forever?" Justin sounded doubtful, like he was expecting Sam to say no.

Sam closed his eyes and leaned on Justin, and he said the single word that held all the promise they could ever want. "Stop asking such easy questions. Yes."

"Really? Yes?" Sam knew that Justin still found it hard sometimes to think that any man could see beyond the physical and mental scars, or beyond what Justin had done. He'd said last night, not for the first time, that he couldn't understand how Sam could see the heart of him so well.

He called what they had a miracle, but Sam just called it fate.

He loved Justin, and listened to him, and held him when sometimes he woke from nightmares, or when he lost himself to guilt. Now, Justin was getting better every day at seeing his purpose in this life now, at knowing how to deal with the terrors in his head.

"Of course, yes. I love you."

"My patient, sparky, laughing, understanding Sam." Justin murmured. "I love you so much."

"I love you way more than that," Sam said with a smile. This was a game they played, and usually it ended up with mutual orgasms and changed sheets. That wasn't going to happen at the lake.

"So, are you going to let Ashley make the wedding cake?"

"Mmmm, triple chocolate, green and blue icing."

Justin wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulder and pulled him close. "Can one of the layers be vanilla?"

"Vanilla?" Sam chuckled. "Since when do you like anything vanilla?" They laughed and hugged, and then Justin became more serious.

"You think we can get married here, by the water?"

Sam smiled into a kiss. "Perfect."

They held each other close, staring out over the blue water, and they found a peace together that went deeper than anything Sam had ever felt before.

"You saved me," Justin murmured.

He'd said that before, and likely he'd say it again in their life together. And Sam gave his standard reply, the one that never failed to make Justin smile. "You were worth saving."

THE END

Read Jordan & Ryan's story in the next Montana book, Snow In Montana details on the next page.