Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Adam tugged Ethan away from the house and up the path, passing his place and the Todd house, and beyond, to the tree line.

"We were walking up here after we did the cabins, crossed the river at the steps, which had Gabe worrying I would fall in."

"Jesus, Adam."

Adam smiled at Ethan to placate him. The "steps" were a series of boulders in a wide part of the river where the water was deep but a hell of a lot calmer.

"It was fine. I was fine, anyway. So Gabe is telling me this story about when we were ten or eleven, maybe, and we had a fort in the forest that backed onto his house, and I remembered it. Like, before he showed me, or anything." He couldn't help sounding excited, little memories trickling back into his head made him feel hopeful everything would come back soon. "This way." He plunged off the path and into the woods.

Ethan didn't let go of his hand, holding it with their fingers entwined, and followed him close. They finally reached the clearing, nothing more than a space created by two fallen trees that had somehow begun to grown into one, with a hole beneath.

"I never knew about this," Ethan said.

"Nope, you didn't, and I know why." Adam couldn't keep the mischief out of his voice. "We didn't tell you. Justin, Gabe and I, we wanted a place to talk about girls and shit, and you and Nate were all interfering and annoying. So we found our own space."

Ethan stopped next to the tree and peered into the hole. "That is small. How the hell did you last long in there?"

"I think maybe that's why I remembered it, because I would sit outside and whisper, and the other two would be inside. They called me the guard, but I knew it was their way of making me feel better, even then."

Ethan chuckled and the sound was a good one. Adam had been worried, overhearing all that stuff about Ethan being born a rancher's son and his dad hating that he'd become a cop. Ethan had looked like he'd been hit by a plank over the head, so shell-shocked and miserable.

"Wait," Ethan said suddenly. "Girls? You were talking about girls?"

"Well, not so much me. Mostly Gabe—he was the first to get a girlfriend, and he would explain in great length about kissing her, and Justin and I would tease him because she was at least six inches taller than him, that being before he grew a little." Adam pulled Ethan in for a soft kiss. "There was where I first said I didn't like girls. I mean, I didn't say I liked boys so much, but I was dead set on the girl-hating part."

"Wow," Ethan said. "You remember all this?"

"A lot of it. The old stuff seems to come back to me easy, and this time I didn't faint when I recalled the details. That's a breakthrough, right?"

"You have any recollection of the day we kissed back then?"

Adam's chest tightened. "Is this a Justin question? I still don't know anything about what happened that day."

Ethan cut off any further talking with a kiss, this time more heated, and with an added press against the tree and a groan low in his throat, which was all kinds of sexy.

"No. That was an ‘I want to kiss you more' type of question." Ethan shifted so it was his back against the tree, supporting Adam's weight, forever conscious of Adam's rib injuries. His hands landed firmly on Adam's ass and held on, pressing his hard cock to Adam's, and Adam couldn't help the smile he gave into the kiss. This was what he wanted, Ethan holding him and making him feel. They kissed and moved against each other, and the heat between them was incredible.

"I want you so much," Ethan muttered between kisses, and the words made Adam want to kiss harder, deeper, with his eyes closed and the fresh scents of April mixing with the smell of Ethan's leather jacket and his shower gel.

Adam widened his legs a little, wrapping himself around Ethan and holding tight, kissing him thoroughly. His lip held up, didn't split, and there was no blood, just the taste of Ethan.

"I can't believe we're doing this up against a tree," Ethan said, grinding against him.

"We could go home."

"I need to… I have to…." Ethan shuddered a breath and eased Adam away enough that there was space between them, his hands moving to Adam's hips. "Let's go."

They walked hand in hand back onto the path, neither saying a word. Nights where they slept together and kissed and maybe even got off were one thing; this was different. It wasn't in darkness; it was real, a choice they both made.

Adam didn't sense Justin's ghost hovering in Ethan's eyes; it was sex and they both wanted it. He hurried his steps a little, but his breathing faltered and he had to slow down. Ethan slowed to stay with him. They reached the Strachan house and climbed the steps; Ethan stopped at the top.

"I love you," Ethan announced. "I never stopped loving you."

"Ethan…."

"If that is too much, if that scares you, if you think Justin is a part of this, you have to tell me to stop."

Adam collected his thoughts, lifting his right hand to curl his fingers into Ethan's hair.

"It doesn't scare me," he said. "And Justin will always be a part of you, part of us, however much we say it's not true."

"I will find him," Ethan said with conviction.

Adam pressed a kiss to his lips, a promise without words. "Like you found me."

Ethan was the first to move, pushing the door open and letting Adam in before shutting and locking it behind them.

"I don't have anything here. No condoms or whatever…," Adam said, embarrassment washing over him. Why was he embarrassed, he didn't know. He was familiar with the mechanics of it all; he'd had sex before.

Another memory, and one he didn't immediately feel the need to share with Ethan.

"I don't either." Ethan grinned at him. "We'll improvise this time."

Improvising had them stripping and falling over each other to get into bed. There was no way Adam was having sex in his old room, and he hoped his big brother didn't really care that Adam and Ethan were making love in his bed. Not that Cole had lived here for a while, but still… awkward.

"Your tattoos are beautiful," Ethan murmured, spending the longest time fussing about getting Adam in exactly the right position for whatever he wanted to do. Which, to start with, was kissing his way over Adam's chest, to one shoulder, then the next, stopping for the longest time to play with each nipple. One of the tattoos ended by his right nipple, and Ethan ran his nails over the hard nub, then traced the tattoo up to his shoulder and upwards to his throat.

"What does yours mean?" Adam asked. He could see the tiny tattoo right over Ethan's chest, a simple circle design with tiny lettering inside.

"Initials. Me, Justin. I had it done a few years back."

"I should get the same thing done over my heart," Adam said, his muscles tensing as Ethan moved back to his nipples, sucking one into his mouth while pinching the other. Adam's nipples were clearly hardwired to his cock, which was hard and had nothing to rub against. He moved restlessly, attempting to find friction, but there was nothing, only air between them.

"I'm getting there," Ethan promised.

And get there he did. With little finesse or teasing, he scooted down until he was level with Adam's cock, circling the base with his hands and swallowing the rest in one movement.

Adam nearly shot there and then, gasping, tensing, and then cursing when pain hit in his chest and wrist.

Ethan looked up with worry. "Are you okay?" he asked, his lips red, his gray eyes filled with concern.

Adam ignored what pain he could and consciously relaxed his muscles. "God, yes."

Ethan smiled, and then the smile turned into more sucking and kissing and licking. Then Ethan moved a little lower, and fondled Adam's balls with his free hand, humming around his cock.

"I'm going to… no… Ethan… off."

Ethan stopped sucking, but he didn't stop moving his hand the length of Adam's cock. "What?" he asked with a definite smirk.

"Turn around. I want to suck you as well."

They tried and failed a few positions. Adam couldn't lie on his side—his wrist was too weak, his ribs too sore—and in the end Ethan straddled his face. Finally Adam managed to get a taste of what he wanted.

The texture, the weight, it was all unfamiliar, yet at the back of his mind he could see himself doing this before. It would be hard to believe any man of twenty-eight wouldn't have had sex at some point in his life; Ethan probably had a long list of men wanting inside him.

The thought made Adam pause, but only long enough for his subconscious to tell him that Ethan was his. Ethan was here, and he was sucking Adam, and hell, Adam was reciprocating with enthusiasm.

"So close," Ethan warned.

Adam didn't stop. If anything, his movements, while erratic—because hey, Ethan was sucking his cock—grew more focused, faster. The tip of Ethan's cock hit the back of his throat and he didn't even gag. That was good, right?

"Fuck," Ethan cursed as that happened. "Fuck, Adam…"

Adam felt like the king of the world—or at least the king of blowjobs—twisting his hand, sucking deep, and Ethan stiffened, trying to tug away, but Adam wouldn't let him. He swallowed everything Ethan had for him, and it felt absolutely right.

He released Ethan, and all Ethan did was move faster on Adam's cock and, way too soon, Adam's orgasm hit him hard in a mix of ecstasy and pain. He cursed his completion and tried to pull away, but couldn't.

Ethan kissed his way along Adam's body, finally lying next to him, and they exchanged slow kisses.

"If we do that with blowjobs, imagine what we'll be like when we go further," Adam said.

"You think you're a top? Or maybe a switch?"

"I don't know," he answered truthfully.

Ethan kissed him, then left the bed, padding naked out of the room and coming back with two bottles of beer, an opener, and a laptop.

"Porn," he announced as he opened the computer. "Let's see what turns you on."

Adam closed his hand around Ethan's semi-aroused cock. "This turns me on."

Ethan copied the motion. "Back atcha," he drawled. Then with a kiss and a soft "I love you," he signed into the laptop and scrolled to the drop-down menu blatantly entitled "Porn."

The first scene was set outdoors beside a pool; some cheesy shit about a delivery guy, but hell, when the guy on the bottom looked at the screen, with his mouth wide in a paroxysm of orgasm, Adam felt like he could come without touching his cock. Not helped by the fact Ethan was stroking his cock, fondling it, testing the weight of his balls, and staring at Adam as Adam watched the porn.

When his orgasm hit, Adam wasn't as tense and it didn't hurt as much. Softer but more intense than the one before, it rolled from his center to his toes, and his breath left him in a startled gasp.

"So?" Ethan asked softly, wiping a finger in Adam's spend, then grabbing a discarded T-shirt to wipe the rest away.

"That's my shirt," Adam protested.

All Ethan did was smile and shrug. Then he asked again, "So, which do you want?" He leaned over Adam, peppering his face with small kisses between his words. "You want me to stretch you with my finger, press lube into you, then crook my finger and find your sweet spot, all while I'm sucking you down? Or do you want to do it to me?"

Adam's cock attempted to fill again, and he groaned into the last kiss, "All of it."

Ethan chuckled, deepening the kiss and then pulling back. "Thank fuck," he said with feeling.

"We need to get supplies, then."

Ethan looked serious for a minute, staring down at Adam with focus in his gray eyes. "Let's wait a bit until your ribs are mended. Until we're sure."

Adam was confused. "Aren't you sure?"

"I've been sure since the moment you came back into my life."

"Why do you think I'm not?"

Ethan sighed and rolled away, lying next to Adam and staring up at the ceiling. "Because you don't know what has happened to you over the past twelve years. Let's enjoy this, but let's get you healed in mind and body before it gets serious."

"I call what we just did pretty serious."

Ethan hesitated and then murmured, "That was just sex."

Adam knew he didn't mean that, was sure he was looking for some intelligent response from Adam, but all the insecurities about his past, his future, and his injuries all came to the surface. So he said what was in his heart.

"That was making love, Ethan."

Ethan gripped his hand and laced their fingers, and for the longest time, they stared up at the wooden ceiling together.

And Adam was at peace.