Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Jay climbed the steps to his cabin and refused to look back at Nate, though he could feel Nate's gaze boring into his back. He pushed open his front door, closed it behind him, and only then did he slump bonelessly against the wall.

"It was good, then," Ashley said with a smile.

"Uh-huh" was about all he could come up with.

"What's he like?"

"We kissed, that's all, and it was… well, we danced as well. He's… hard… and…" He pushed himself away from the wall and made it as far as the sofa before letting gravity do its thing. He was overwhelmed and ever so slightly in shock.

"Hard," Ashley repeated. She tilted her head.

They always talked about Jay's love life—shame he couldn't get her to talk about where her energies had been focused with Lewis. Still, this was brother-sister time and he loved this part of the first date. Because, let's face it, that was what it had been.

"I'm getting the chocolate," she said.

She disappeared into the kitchen and a few minutes later, returned to the sofa with hot chocolate and cookies, and sat cross-legged next to him. It didn't matter if he got home at 2:00 a.m. or four, she was always up waiting unless he texted her and said he was staying out. Hell, he couldn't remember the last time he'd texted anything like that.

"You must have a thousand cookies in the kitchen," Jay observed. He crunched down on one and sighed at the sheer awesomeness that was chocolate and nuts. "You should take some over to Marcus and Sophie, and maybe some up to the Todd brothers."

"They're just for us," she said softly.

Jay lifted his T-shirt and patted his flat stomach. "You want a fat brother who can't land a cowboy?" he asked with a frown.

"Is that what happened? Did you and Nate…? Or was it some other random cowboy?"

Jay raised his eyebrows. "I had one focus, and Nate didn't stand a chance. I used all the plays: the flirting, the dismissal, the dancing my best moves, and finally Nate got with the plan."

"And?" She glanced at the clock on the wall pointedly. "You're home early for someone who snared Nate Todd."

Jay shrugged. "He wants to take it slow. He's asked me to go out to dinner with him."

"Wow!" Ashley smiled at him and poked his arm. "This sounds serious."

"How can it be serious? I've only known him two weeks. We're not forcing it down people's throats with all that couple stuff. It's friends with benefits. I like the guy, and for as long as we're here on the ranch, why not enjoy the time?"

He regretted his words immediately. Ashley looked sad and resignation filled her eyes.

"I'm not sure I ever want to leave Crooked Tree," she said.

"I know," was all Jay could say.

Was it Montana that called to her, or was it the ranch specifically? She had time here to be on her own, but Jay desperately wanted for his sister to connect more with the ranch. The contract he had with Crooked Tree was for the two months that Marcus had suggested, but there was an option that it would be for longer. They'd gotten places for the kids at local schools, so the move to Montana was pretty definitive.

"What will you do when it's done here?" she asked carefully.

"Onward and upward," Jay answered immediately. "This could be a permanent position as I see it, but I will find something else if I need to." Jay didn't begin to catalog the anxiety settling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of moving on. Or the worry that he might have moved his entire family to Montana only to have no work to keep a roof over their heads.

"And if you get involved with Nate and do your usual thing of backing off?"

"Harsh, sis."

"But true. Will you let it affect your job?"

Jay sat for a little while in silence. Would he let it affect his job? He sensed Nate was heading into this for the long haul with all his talk of going slow and taking time. He hoped that if things went south, both he and Nate would be professional. For a second doubts flew into his mind. Maybe Ashley was right in what she was implying. He should think about what he'd done and consider he was trying to build a new life for them all. Those doubts had begun to form into something concrete when Ashley interrupted his thoughts.

"Ignore me. Nate is a good guy, and you're a good guy. It will be fine." She nodded. "So tell me more about him."

Today was the second time Jay had been on a horse, and he only needed reminding of one thing when he saddled Diablo. He was stiff and achy, and he knew he would pay for the riding. Nate told him that he had to ride every day to get his muscles in shape. Maybe he'd do what Nate said. One day when it wasn't so easy to find something he had to do first. Luckily it wasn't just him and Nate—this time Luke was with them. Or rather Luke and his camera. He guessed he'd brought the horseback ride on himself when he'd asked Luke to show him some of the most private parts of the ranch. Turned out it would be him, Luke, and the addition of Nate, who would explore the backwoods and plains of Crooked Tree.

Being up on Diablo's back was as terrifying and awe-inspiring as it had been the last time. Diablo was steady, but Jay had to push through being freaked out to settle into enjoying the scenery. He did it by focusing on what Luke and Nate were talking about. The older brother was looking fine in the saddle this morning. His shirt stretched across wide shoulders and his dark hair curled from under his hat. Jay's mouth watered at the memory of the kisses and the promise of what they could have soon. This wouldn't just be dinner—he was ready for more kissing, more touching, and to feel Nate inside him. He'd not had this need in him since he first played the romance game. Nate wasn't Mark—he was something very different. He twisted in his saddle to look back at Jay.

"You okay back there?"

Jay grimaced. He bet he didn't look as smooth and sexy as Nate did on Juno. Far too much of his ass meeting the saddle in a mismatch of trying to get into Diablo's smooth gait. "I'm good," he said quickly.

"Up here!" Luke said from the front.

Jay couldn't see the boy, but Diablo followed Juno up a steep incline through the undergrowth until the trees thinned and they were in a clearing. Nate dismounted and moved swiftly to Jay to help him off. Jay didn't exactly need help, but he could play the needy newbie if it meant some skin time with Nate. Very deliberately, he stumbled as he reached the ground and clung like a limpet to Nate's arm. Nate wasn't stupid; he smirked as he very clearly saw through what Jay was doing.

Jay forced an innocent expression on his face and waited for Nate to say something. He didn't. Instead, he stalked through a tangle of bushes, and when Jay followed him, he realized there was a rough path through the barrier. Swearing as twigs and thorns caught on him, he stumbled through until at last he was on the other side. He cursed at the line of blood from a particularly nasty thorn that had pushed through his skin where his glove didn't exactly meet his jacket sleeve and was distracted until he looked up at what Luke wanted them to see.

Perfect.

Crooked Tree in the distance, nestled in and around the ribbon of river that carved its way through the valley. Even the mighty Blackfoot River looked thin and quiet from here. No viewer would think of the noise of the rushing river as it journeyed through the gorge. Beyond the ranch, the rolling plains stopped suddenly at the foot of the mountains. Each peak in the range was white tipped and ice-lined against the absolute clarity of the blue sky. Green areas indicated the tree lines and the cold in the air that bit his face underlined the wintry vista.

"Oh my God," he said reverently.

"I have photos from this same spot for each season. I don't just mean the four we know, but all the in-between seasons, like when summer gives way to fall and the light changes. The rains, the snow and the cloud formations. I must have hundreds." Luke turned to Jay with a grin. "Is this what you meant when you said you wanted photos that told a story?"

Jay didn't know what to say. His brain was running a million miles a minute. A slideshow on the website, prints to sell, the brochure pages he could create with such majesty and perfection in the photos of the ranch.

"Amazing," he murmured. Stepping forward, he only stopped when Nate grabbed his arm. Stumbling to a halt, he looked down and saw that he was at the edge of a long and sudden drop.

"Watch your step," Nate said softly.

Jay was overwhelmed at the panorama before him. He didn't think he'd ever seen anything so perfect in his life. Not even the sunset from the Hudson looking at the financial district was as beautiful as the scene nature had created.

"Used to be ice flows here, millions of years back," Luke offered. He crouched down and began framing photos. "Every time I look through the lens, I think of a new image, something I missed the last time I was here."

Nate made to move, but Jay didn't want to lose the touch of them side by side. He gripped Nate's gloved hand and held him steady. At first he thought maybe Nate would pull away, but when instead he tugged Jay closer to stand in front of him, Jay couldn't be more surprised. He relaxed back against Nate and exhaled gently.

"I love it here," Nate whispered. "I remember after we lost Mom and Dad, we came up here with their ashes. We were going to scatter them in the wind in the place they loved best. But we didn't. That day was May 20—ten days after they died. It was a beautiful cloudless day, but it wasn't right. We came back at the height of summer, in the cool days of fall, and we trekked here in the deep snow of that winter and again when spring promised a new year at Crooked Tree. Every time it wasn't the right time. Not one of us could agree. We finally agreed about five years later when Luke was a few days away from fourteen."

"I remember that day," Luke said softly. "We'd been to town, and Christmas was everywhere. I remembered Mom and Dad loved Christmas. I said something, Gabe agreed, and Nate brought us up here."

Luke placed his camera carefully in its case. He crossed to an overgrown part of the overlook and gently pushed back the undergrowth to reveal a small stone cross with a single word inscribed: "Todd." Jay wanted to ask why Luke quickly covered over the cross with the plants he'd gently moved. He didn't have to.

"They're part of the ranch, hidden there where no one except the people who care will know. They'll never be moved."

"That's beautiful," Jay whispered.

Luke went back to taking photos, and Nate tightened his grip on Jay. Together they watched as clouds gathered in the blue sky, then faded as they moved away. The shadows they cast on the ground were fascinating. For a long time, Jay collected visual memories he would be able to rediscover in Luke's photography.

"Thank you," Jay said to no one in particular.

"You're welcome." Nate pushed Jay's hair aside and kissed him on the side of his neck just below his ear. "I wanted to share it with you as much as Luke did."