Chapter Ten

In Which A Debrief Leads to an Alternate Form of Rehabilitation

When I woke, Orcus held me upright with a glass to my lips. I guzzled the cool water, surprised at my thirst. Muscles that I hadn't ever paid attention to ached, and I groaned as I stretched. My arms were still encircled by Orcus's bindings, though the one blocking my sight was gone.

"How do you feel?" he asked after lowering the glass.

"Sore," I said. "Confused."

"As it should be." Thick tendrils wrapped around my midsection and flipped me onto my stomach. After, they shifted and pressed into my body, kneading at my sore muscles in the best hurt I'd ever felt.

"Thank you," I said, my voice muffled into the bed.

"You need to be ready for your next session," he said. "Now, I'll remind you of our need for vulnerability and honesty between us. How did you feel during your first session?"

I licked my lips to buy time. "Frustrated, helpless, needy... I wanted you to touch me, but you never quite did what I wanted."

"Very good. Was any of what you experienced painful or frightening?"

"No, I felt quite safe, if frustrated."

"Good. I didn't want you to feel scared. You see, it is impossible for you or I to ever truly know what it is like to be one of our subjects. However, we can make suppositions and sympathize based on our own experiences. I do not see the need for you to feel pain in our lessons. I am confident that you did not intend true pain or harm to any of your creations."

I shook my head violently. "Never, I just... didn't really understand."

"Just so. And we cannot expect anyone to know things without being taught, not even a goddess. I learned through my own experiences, and you will continue to learn through yours." He dug into a particularly troublesome knot, and I groaned.

"So, no, the goal of this is not for you to feel pain. It is for you to learn, to understand, and for me to do the same. If we can gain this understanding through pleasurable means, I think we will not lose anything in the process by doing so."

"Alright," I said. "I'm certainly not opposed, as long as you think it will be effective."

"I think it will be more than effective. I think it will be the single most important act either of us ever undertake."

His thick tentacle flipped me onto my back and began massaging my front. I much preferred this angle, because I could see his face. His brows were drawn in concentration, his tongue toying with one of his fangs. If the massage was meant to relax me, it only partially served its purpose. Instead, he drew pleasure from me as easily as a harpist would draw a melody. Desire flooded through me, dampening between my legs and spreading heat throughout my body.

"Does that feel good, princess?" he crooned.

"Mhmmm," I hummed. It felt better than good in truth. It felt magical—freeing in a way I'd never experienced.

"I think," he said, working his way up to massage my thighs. "That you like being taken care of. I think you've spent so long holding an entire planet together that it's time someone held you together."

I doubt he had any real idea what such a statement would do to me. A riot of emotions burst to life inside of me, so chaotic and clamoring that I could scarcely identify them. I tensed under his hands.

It felt so right.

It felt like an attack.

It sounded wonderful.

It sounded vulnerable.

I didn't make a sound, but he must have known that it had done something to me, because he switched from deep massage to light circles.

My breath came fast and wracked my body, panic surging through my veins on the wings of adrenaline. I squeezed my eyes shut, perhaps in a feeble attempt to block out a small part of him. Orcus overwhelmed me. With his newly revealed face, his demanding hands, and his gentle voice that spoke words I was terrified to hear.

I was a goddess . I didn't need anyone to hold me together—I held an entire planet together through sheer force of will. How dare he suggest I was anything but capable. I'd botched parts of it in my ignorance, but it had worked! I opened my mouth to speak, brows drawn in anger. Anger was safe. Anger was an emotion I could harness.

Orcus pressed a finger to my lips. "I don't mean to undermine you, only to suggest that you deserve a soft place to land. We all do. I want to be your soft place."

A soft place to land. That sounded... different. More reasonable. It wasn't an admission of weakness, if anything it was one of strength. Of a need to rest after hard work.

With a slowness that spoke of my reluctance, I nodded. His finger brushed along my lips, dragging across them so each raised line of his fingerprint lit me afire.

"And you?" I asked, only partially to feel that friction again. "What is your soft place?"

"You. You've always been my soft place."