CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Gus was sitting on the log, staring out at the bayou. He remembered it all. Every horrifying moment of what he'd done. He should have checked the trailer when he realized it wasn't his. He'd tried to call the O'Noth brothers, but they must have thought he was calling for help at the border.

He left it there in the desert for those people to die. He confronted Sean and Patrick, asking why they'd switched trailers on him, and they said they thought he knew what he was carrying. If he'd only looked.

"You didn't know," said Matthew, walking toward the man. A golden light surrounded the old man, his face soft and loving.

"Are you God?"

"No, son. I'm not God. I'm like you. Just a Godly man."

"You're not like me. You didn't murder men, women, and children. You're a good man who does good deeds."

"You didn't kill anyone, Gus. You did good works. Every day of your life, you tried to be a better man. You were an amazing brother who tried to save his sister. You tried to get justice for her. You were a good priest, helping your parish and those in your community. You were a good friend who worked hard to make others' lives easier.

"There is no shame in anything you have done in your life. Nothing. You have done all things asked of you in all the right ways. Even in death, you knew that somehow you had to get a message to someone. You knew that my boys were close."

Gus stared at the older man, then stood from the log.

"You. I heard a whisper that help was near. It was you," he said.

"I have been known to whisper a message or two," grinned Matthew. "You needed to know that you were not to blame."

"Why am I so forgetful?" he said with a sad expression. The other men began coming through the trees, watching as Matthew spoke to the man.

"You have dyspraxia. It's a developmental coordination disorder. Did you have trouble as a child learning to hit a ball or run as fast as the others?"

"How did you know that? Never mind. I guess you know everything," said Gus.

"I don't know everything. But I know that your disease caused you to be a bit behind other children. You weren't stupid or slow, Gus. You were special in more ways than you can possibly imagine. Humans aren't perfect. There is no such thing. We are all born with disabilities, flaws, whatever you want to call them. But we are still valuable and treasured on this earth."

"I wasn't," he whispered. "I was by my parents and sister."

"And Archbishop Sutherland," said Antoine from the back. "He loved you. Said you were a great friend and a great priest."

"He said that?" whispered Gus.

"He did," said Luc. "He thought you were an amazing man, and he knew that you didn't kill those people. He tried to prove your innocence. So did Lanier."

"You see," smiled Matthew, "you were not alone. You were loved and appreciated by your family, your friends, and your community. Although he suffered, you gave Nozo Tolivari the peace that he needed."

Gus was quiet for a long moment, just watching the men. They didn't stare at him with judgment. They didn't snarl with disgust at his inabilities. Their faces were filled with compassion and empathy. And something Gus had seen little of in his life. Admiration. Turning to Matthew again, he spoke.

"Will I go to heaven? What about those three innocent women back there? Will they move on as well?" he asked.

"When you are ready, you will move on. The women have already been returned to their families to say goodbye and move on as well."

"I'll watch over you all if I can," said Gus looking at everyone standing around him. "I wish I had known you when I was alive, but I'm glad I've gotten to know you now. I'll never forget any of you."

"Nor will we forget you, Gus," said Gaspar. He started to turn toward the light of the bayou, then turned back, smiling at them.

"Alvin says he's not dangerous. He's a good alligator and likes his new family. You might want to cut him some slack."

And then Gus was gone.

"Are you kidding me? I just got a lecture about the alligator from a ghost," frowned Gaspar.

"Maybe you should listen," said Matthew, smiling at his oldest son. Gaspar could only shake his head and laugh. Only here. Only at Belle Fleur, with his crazy, nutty, fucked up, strange, dysfunctional family could this happen.

"Oh, Pops," he laughed. "I sure do love you." He hugged his father, kissing his forehead.

"I love you, too, son. I love you all."