CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE

L EAVING L AKE C OMO was interesting. Given I was losing my mind, and Sarah had forced the driver to stop in a minute market on our way to the airport to get a pregnancy test.

“You have to know,” she said.

But I already did. It was like the veil had been lifted and I just couldn’t deny the truth anymore. That’s what I’d been doing. For weeks. Denying. Ignoring. I was so good at that, because in my position I’d had to be.

She had me take the test as soon as we reached altitude.

I knew she was mad at me. Because obviously I had been keeping a huge secret from her. But...

“Sarah...”

“Take the test, and then we’ll talk. No. We’ll make a strategy. I’m going to get out the Post-it notes.”

“We don’t need Post-it notes.”

“We need Post-it notes and Washi tape, Florence. There is no other option.”

I went into the bathroom as instructed. I didn’t usually do what I was told. In fact, I was more or less allergic to it. But right now I didn’t feel like I was in any position to argue. Right now, it kind of felt good for someone to just give me some instructions.

Of course, waiting for the test did not feel good. And watching that second pink line begin to materialize was...

I knew. At that point I absolutely knew, but still, seeing it like that...

I practically ran out of the bathroom. “It’s positive. I knew it. We didn’t actually need to stop for the test and...”

“He’s probably going to want to know there was a test,” she said.

I sighed. “You say that like you know him.”

“I know his type. I don’t know him, because I didn’t actually think we were supposed to do any fraternizing with the enemy. Do you want to... Speak to that?”

“It happened after I found out about the engagement,” I said.

She just kept staring at me, and I knew it was an insufficient explanation. I waited a moment. To just be very sure that she needed me to actually explain. That she needed me to tell her the whole story. Everything. Apparently she did.

“Because... It wasn’t the first time.”

“Oh, Florence,” she said, pressing her finger to her forehead. “He was at every one of those conferences where you disappeared.”

“How long have you suspected?” I asked.

“It occurred to me a couple of times that maybe... It’s only that sometimes you get this look on your face when you see him. And it isn’t entirely bloodthirsty. It is a little bloodthirsty, it just isn’t only bloodthirsty.”

“I never wanted anyone to know.”

“I’m your friend.”

“It’s been going on for longer than I’ve known you,” I said.

She threw her hands up in the air and sat there frozen, her expression one of near-comedic shock. Except nothing was funny.

“I seduced him on my eighteenth birthday,” I said.

“ No ,” she said.

“Yes. And ever since then... It just happens. It just happens. In cities all over the world, in different hotel rooms. In bathrooms, sometimes. Once a library at an English manor.”

I had forgotten about that. Well. I had deliberately chosen not to think about that, because it had been one of the more lovely and romantic times. There had been an edge of danger to it. Because we had sneaked away from a party, and even though the doors were locked, he hadn’t been fast, and I had been worried we would be missed.

He spread me out on the rug in front of the fireplace. He looked at me like I was special.

Or it had been a trick of the light. Because I had clearly never been special.

“So you have been having a secret relationship with your chief competition since before you were actually CEO of the company.”

“It isn’t a relationship,” I said.

“When you saw that he was engaged, you looked like you were going to be sick.”

“Because he slept with me when he was with her. I didn’t know about that. I didn’t know about her. I would never...”

That was a lie. Because I had.

“I can’t forgive him for that,” I said.

“No. Are you going to stop the wedding?”

“No. But I think that she needs to know. He also needs to know, but she really needs to know. Don’t you think?”

“Yes,” Sarah said slowly. “I think I would want to know.”

“Well, that’s what I think. Before she actually makes vows to him, she should know. Because this baby was conceived after their engagement.” I stared out the window. “Their engagement was announced just a little over a month ago. You realize that means they were together for a very long time before that.”

Sarah nodded. “Yes.”

“I can’t just let that stand.”

“Are you motivated by justice? Or revenge?”

I shifted uncomfortably. “Does it matter?”

“Not really,” she said.

Because she knew, I finally started talking about it. About the years of it. About how sometimes I convinced myself that having him after one of our big showdowns was my reward.

About how I tried to present myself as this very serious, very successful businesswoman, but I was as distracted by men as anybody. By one man.

“He’s hot,” said Sarah. “I just thought that you were...” She looked almost disappointed, and I hated that. “I thought you were as bulletproof as you pretended to be.”

“Sadly,” I said. “I’m not immune to all bullets.”

We landed in New York, and the wedding was only ninety minutes away.

I texted him. In desperation. He didn’t answer.

I went to his apartment. He wasn’t there. I did not want to go to the church, but I was starting to see no other option.

“You want me to wait for you?” Sarah asked.

“I might need you to run interference.”

Sarah nodded. “Whatever you need.”

We got out of the car, and while we were dressed fairly nicely, we had just been on Lake Como on vacation, and I had brought pretty clothes, we weren’t really dressed for a wedding that cost two times a royal wedding. I also wasn’t dressed anything like I normally did. My hair was a mess, loose, and I was wearing pink. I also looked like I felt like garbage.

Only because I did feel like garbage.

So that was nice.

We ran up the steps to the big, stone church, only to be met by security.

“I’m Florence Clare,” I said. “I’m obviously invited to the wedding.”

He looked at me. “I don’t have your name on any list.”

“That is a mistake,” I said. “Hades and I have a business relationship.”

Sarah looked at me. I refused to look back.

“I don’t have your name on the list,” said the security guard. But he wasn’t even looking.

“You just know that,” I said.

“I know who you are, Ms. Clare,” he said. “If you were invited to the wedding, I would have remembered seeing your name.”

“It was an oversight.” I opened up my phone and showed him that the last text I had sent was to Hades. Showing him that I had Hades’ personal number made me sweaty.

“I’ll go inside and just check with his secretary,” he said.

“You do that,” I said.

He walked into the church, and Sarah caught the door.

“Go,” she said.

Without thinking, I skittered inside behind the security guard and dodged into a hallway out of his view. My heart was pounding. I felt like I was going to throw up again. I could not be skulking around the church where Hades was getting married and vomiting.

So I did my best to gather my courage, and I tried to figure out where he could be. I looked at the text again. Nothing from him. But suddenly one from Sarah came through.

It was a picture of the church’s layout that she must have gotten from online.

She had circled two rooms that she clearly thought might be used for people getting ready.

I tried to orient myself.

Another text from her came in.

I’m going to tell the guard you weren’t well and you left. I won’t go far.

Thanks.

I made my way down the hall and tried to follow the map.

The building was old, and my steps echoed so loudly, in time with my heartbeat. I was sure that I was alerting everyone within a fifty-foot radius to my presence. I tried to move more softly, even as I kept my pace quick.

I peered into a window on the first door, and it was a room full of people preparing flowers. Definitely not Hades.

I made my way to the next room and saw that the window was blocked. The door opened suddenly, swinging out toward me, and I moved back.

“Are you one of the florists?” a beautiful, brown-skinned woman wearing a bright pink dress asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Okay. Do you have Jessica’s okay?”

“Not quite yet. They’re still putting the finishing touches on it. But will bring it down in a minute.”

“Great,” she said. Obviously the maid of honor. Thankfully, the wedding colors looked like they were pink, so I looked like I belonged here. And I wasn’t especially recognizable with my hair down, and without my signature black.

The door closed again, and I stood there for a moment, wondering if I should just talk to Jessica first. No.

I did think she should know, but Hades was the father of the baby. He needed to know first.

I had no idea where to go next, though.

I looked back on the schematic and saw that there was an outdoor grotto in the middle of the church. I wove through the core door, looking for it.

I didn’t know why, but for some reason I just thought that I might find him there. Just maybe.

There was a big wooden door with no window, but from the looks of the map, it was the door that led outside. I opened it up, and there he was. Standing with his back to me, the way he had been when I had come to confront him at his office.

And just like then, he straightened, as if he could feel me.

You silly girl, it’s any person walking up behind him. It has nothing to do with you specifically.

He turned around, and our eyes clashed. For a brief moment, it felt like I was falling through the earth. It felt like the world had fallen away, and there was nothing. Not the earth, not the sky, not gravity. Only him. Only me.

“Florence,” he said.

For some reason, hearing my name on his lips made tears spring to my eyes. It made me angry.

“I’m not here to stop your wedding,” I said.

I refused to allow him to think, even for a moment, that I was so weak for him, that I would do something that silly.

“Of course not,” he said.

“I’m just here...”

He crossed the space between us and grabbed the back of my head. His kiss was a shock. Cruel and hard. It was angry. And I found myself surrendering to him helplessly.

Even as my better self stood by and watched in horror as my weak self succumbed to his touch. I had no practice doing anything else when it came to Hades.

None at all.

He was my one and only.

He was the father of my baby.

That thought gave me the strength to pull away.

“I know what you came for,” he said.

“I didn’t come for that either,” I said. “You don’t know me, Hades. Even if you think that you do.”

“I’ve been your lover for a decade, agape . Don’t tell me that I don’t know you. I know every sigh, every scream, I know the way that your blue eyes darken when you need me. I know just how dark your fantasies are. How the cold, calculated businesswoman likes for someone to tell her what to do as long as she’s naked. How you wish for someone to tie you down and make your decisions for you. I don’t just know what you want, Florence. I know what you beg for.”

He made my knees weak. But while I had been weak with him for all of these years, I wouldn’t be weak now. There was too much at stake. I was in shock, and I had had very little time to process any of this, so the part where I was having a baby still felt so... Distant. So theoretical. But right then, I realized that what I was doing was bigger than myself. Bigger than the two of us. Definitely bigger than the acid in my stomach, the anger and the lingering desire.

“I came because I have to tell you something. I’m pregnant, Hades. I’m having your baby.”

He stood there. Immobilized. He said nothing. For one long minute, he said nothing. And then, he looked at me. With a black fire that chilled me to my soul.

“This changes everything.”