CHAPTER TWO

AJAXWASHOLDING on to the edge of the kitchen island as if that could help anchor him in the midst of the storm surging around him. Belatedly he saw baby paraphernalia that he hadn't noticed the first time around. A bottle steriliser, teething rings, toys. A high chair. They mocked him now.

Erin had taken the baby back into the bedroom to try and put her down again.

A baby. His baby.

He knew she was his as he knew his own name. She was the image of Theo at that age. Theo, his deceased son.

Ajax had spent so many of the recent years trying to block out the past, but now it was hurtling back with all the devastation of a bomb going off inside his brain.

His ill-fated marriage had been to a woman who had never been meant for him because she'd been promised in marriage to his older brother. It had been an arranged, strategic marriage, between two of Greece's most notable families, so when his brother had died tragically Ajax had taken his brother's place.

Sofia, his wife, had already been pregnant on the wedding day, and for appearances' sake Ajax had agreed that the baby would be named as his.

In fact he'd been his nephew. But Ajax had loved that boy as if he was his own son, and Theo had known only Ajax as his father. A small, sturdy boy, with a mop of dark curly hair and bright mischievous eyes, he would grab Ajax's hand with his own little pudgy one, ‘Papa, come see!' and he'd drag Ajax off to look at a snail or a frog in a pond, or the latest toy he was obsessed with.

The devastation of Theo's loss was suddenly acute all over again, making a lie of the cliché that time healed all wounds. Time would never heal that wound.

Ajax had grieved for his wife too, even though there'd been little love lost between them. Her death, and Theo's, had thrown into sharp focus how they'd been treated like commodities by their families. Coming from one of Greece's oldest and dynastic families, marrying a woman purely for duty's sake had always been Ajax's destiny—he'd never been under any illusions that love existed after witnessing his parents' loveless marriage and lack of loving parenting—but the reality of the cold and hollow experience of his marriage had only confirmed his cynical world view, and that he wanted no part of such a charade again.

Hence his all-out conquest of the family business, so that he would be the one calling the shots.

Ajax heard a noise from behind him and steeled himself. This visit to indulge his curiosity and his lingering lust for Erin Murphy had morphed into something else entirely. Something unwelcome and life changing. He had a child. A daughter. When he'd vowed after Theo's death never even to contemplate having another child. Yet it had happened. And Ajax couldn't process the full magnitude of that right now.

He turned around. Erin was gently closing the door to the small bedroom.

Even now, in spite of this bombshell, he couldn't stop his gaze from roving over her body, or stop his response. It made his blood volcanic, a mix of shock, anger and desire.

He looked at her. ‘Why didn't you tell me about my daughter?'

Ajax's stark question landed in Erin's gut like a cold, heavy stone. It had been a shock to hear him mention his son. It was no secret, the awful car accident that had taken his wife and son's lives some years ago, but he never spoke of them publicly and he and Erin had certainly never delved into such personal territory during their brief affair.

She couldn't speak for a moment, but then she said weakly, ‘I did try...a few times...'

She was still reeling at the reality that Ajax was here, that he now knew about his daughter, and that their kiss had proved he still held a power over her that she couldn't fathom or control.

He frowned. ‘When?'

Erin forced her sluggish brain to work. ‘When she was about five months old, I called your office—they said you were in Greece. I didn't have a personal number for you. Obviously I couldn't leave a message with that information.'

In spite of their intimacies.

That drove home even more to Erin how inconsequential she'd been in his life.

Ajax's face was like stone. ‘You said you tried a few times. That's once.'

‘I wrote you a letter.'

Ajax looked as if he wanted to laugh. ‘A letter?'

She nodded. ‘I figured that would be as good a way as any to get the message to you.'

‘Everything is electronic now. Letters are all but obsolete.'

Erin felt defensive. ‘Yes, I'm aware of that. But as I no longer had a company email address, I knew that any email I sent would most likely end up in spam. Or it would be opened and vetted by an assistant. I thought a letter would be safer and more private.'

His expression changed for a second, and then he said a little stiffly, ‘Actually, that wouldn't have made much difference, they open all correspondence even if it's marked private. I have nothing to hide, and I have a policy of my staff immediately destroying any such correspondence. A woman making a claim that I'm the father of their child is unfortunately seen as an easy way to get some kind of engagement with men in my position. It works more effectively when the man in question is more promiscuous than I am.'

His words came back to her. I haven't had a lover since you.

Erin folded her arms, shutting out that reminder. So one of her messages could have got through, only to be thrown out before he'd even seen it. ‘Well, in this instance it was a genuine claim—isn't that ironic?'

Ajax's jaw clenched. ‘Did you try again?'

Erin nodded. ‘I went to your offices one day, to try and see you—shortly before the birth. But before I could even give them my name I started to feel pains... I was going into labour.'

The colour left Ajax's face. ‘You went into labour with my child in my building and I had no idea?'

Erin nodded, swallowing. He looked... She couldn't even decipher the expression on his face.

But then his expression blanked and he said, ‘I'm sorry I wasn't aware. How did my staff not notice?'

Weakly she had to concede, ‘That wasn't their fault. I was wearing a big coat—it wasn't necessarily obvious that I was pregnant. But...as you might appreciate... I was occupied with a newborn after that, so telling you wasn't high on my list of priorities.' She finished, ‘Those were all the attempts I made.'

‘So were you going to try again...? When, exactly? In another year, maybe?' Ajax's tone was ascerbic.

Erin squirmed inwardly. She knew she deserved this. ‘No, I knew it had to be soon.'

About three months ago she'd prepared to make another attempt to contact Ajax, but then she'd seen him in the paper, in the society pages, pictured at an event with a beautiful woman. The urge to contact him had dissolved—she didn't like to admit that she'd been jealous. And yet if she believed what he'd said here today, he hadn't taken another lover. So he hadn't slept with that woman...

His voice cut through her circling thoughts. ‘Well, wasn't this timing serendipitous?'

‘That's one way of looking at it.'

He emitted a frustrated sound, and then, ‘I'm not royalty, Erin. I'm not that hard to contact. It wasn't as if you would have been a stranger trying to contact me.'

‘True. But you made it very clear after our last...meeting that no further contact would be welcome.'

The sting of that rejection was as painful and vivid now as if it had just happened. He'd said, ‘This was a mistake.It won't happen again.'

Erin pushed down the old pain. She couldn't afford to let him see that vulnerability now.

‘That was before I knew you were pregnant,' he pointed out.

She countered, ‘I didn't know you hadn't received the letter. I assumed you had, and that you weren't interested in your daughter.' Or me, she didn't say.

‘Of course I would have wanted to know. I'm not made of stone.'

A flash of heat went through Erin's body. She knew very well that he wasn't made of stone.

She brutally slammed down on that reminder.

‘Look,' she said, ‘I'm sorry again that I didn't get to let you know before now. I could have tried harder. But the truth is...it wasn't just because you were hard to contact.'

Ajax frowned. ‘What are you talking about?'

Erin swallowed before divulging, ‘My mother left me and my father when I was still a toddler. Just walked out. I've only seen her since then sporadically. When I believed you'd got my letter and had ignored it I thought you were rejecting Ashling. It made me less inclined to pursue telling you. Obviously I would have... But I didn't want her to be rejected the way I'd been. And then,' she said, ‘there's what happened to your family.'

There was instant tension in the air. Ajax said, ‘What are you talking about?'

‘Your wife and son who died. I thought maybe that was the reason why you mightn't want anything to do with another child.'

Ajax looked incredulous. ‘I had a right to know, in spite of what happened in the past. There's a difference between choosing to have a family again and an unplanned pregnancy.'

Oof. That landed in Erin's gut like a punch. And it shouldn't. Their passion had burned bright and hot for a very brief moment. That was all it had been. A moment. An aberration. A man like this would never have chosen a woman like her to have his child. He came from a Greek dynasty. She came from second-generation immigrants. Her father and mother had been the first in both their families to go to university.

Erin lifted her chin. ‘Yes, you did have a right to know, and I've explained my side of it. You might remember what it's like with a newborn? I'm sorry to mention it but—'

Ajax put up a hand, every line in his body tense. ‘Then don't.'

Erin closed her mouth. She'd been right about his son, but it was no comfort.

Ajax was still rigid with reaction at the mention of his son. Her words ‘You might remember what it's like with a newborn' had precipitated a slew of images and memories of holding the soft weight of Theo in his arms as he'd walked him up and down, getting him back to sleep. The wonder of that small form and the immensity of awe he'd felt. Like nothing he'd ever experienced.

He shook his head, as if that might dislodge the painful images. He had to focus on the present moment. His daughter. And how it had happened and what they were going to do next.

‘We used protection.' He couldn't help but sound accusing.

‘I know...it obviously failed. I hadn't expected this either—believe me.'

‘Who takes care of her while you work?'

Erin's eyes flashed, as if she resented being asked the question. Well, tough.

She said, ‘My father sometimes—he had her today. Or I leave her in a crèche that is right across the street from where I work.'

‘How old is your father?'

‘Sixty-eight.'

At Ajax's obviously sceptical look, Erin said defensively, ‘He's physically and mentally very sprightly.'

‘It's not ideal.'

‘No, it's not. But it's all I can afford right now, as I'm only working part-time.'

Ajax's mouth was tight. ‘I could have been supporting you.'

She lifted her chin. ‘You once accused me of playing games to get your attention. I support myself and I can support my child.'

‘Who is also my child,' Ajax pointed out.

Erin suddenly blanched, as if she was fully realising that Ajax was now here and knew that he had a daughter. He might have almost felt sorry for her if he hadn't still been reeling with the full extent of this news himself.

The sudden blast of a siren outside reminded him of something. He glanced at his watch and cursed silently. He looked at Erin. ‘I have to go—I have a business dinner this evening. But we're not done talking about this.'

Erin said, ‘I can meet you when it's convenient.'

Ajax held out a hand. ‘Give me your phone.'

She retrieved it wordlessly from her bag on a chair, unlocked it and handed it over. Ajax gave it back after a few seconds.

‘You have my number now. Text me so I have yours. I'll be in touch.'

Within seconds Ajax was gone, seemingly taking all the air in the room with him. Erin went to the window and opened it, sucking in a deep breath. She saw Ajax emerge onto the street below and cross the road, and how the driver hopped out to open the back door of a his car. Ajax slid in and the gleaming silver SUV moved away into the Manhattan traffic.

Erin let out a shuddery breath. So now he knew.

He still wants you.

She shook her head to negate that assertion. He might have come looking for her on a whim, but there was no doubt that the discovery of a daughter he'd known nothing about had doused any desire he still felt.

Erin turned from the window and sent a simple text to Ajax.

Erin.

She got one back almost immediately—a terse acknowledgement.

I'll be in touch.

She had no idea what to expect next. She didn't really know Ajax Nikolau at all. In spite of their intimacies. In spite of watching him at work over those intense few weeks. He was as good as a stranger. A stranger who was one of the most powerful men in the world.

And the father of her child.

She was bound to him irrevocably, for life, no matter what happened. But she was determined not to let Ajax upend their lives to suit him. Whatever was coming, she would be prepared.

‘Mr Nikolau is ready to see you now.'

Erin took a deep breath and stood up. It was strange to be back in the building where she'd worked with Nikolau's legal team. And where, a few floors above them, she and he had—

No, not going there now.

She straightened her suit jacket and flicked an invisible speck of dirt off the silk shirt that was tucked into slim-fitting pencil trousers. She couldn't look more professional—even if she was quivering inwardly. The briefcase she carried felt as if it weighed a ton, even though it only held paper.

Ajax's assistant opened the door to his office, standing back to let Erin through. The woman had barely acknowledged Erin, apart from saying the minimum required to greet her and ask her to wait for a few minutes.

Erin stepped over the threshold and it took her a minute to orientate herself. She'd forgotten how big his office was. He was standing at the very far end, near a massive desk, in front of windows that took in a truly intimidating view of downtown Manhattan.

He was wearing a shirt tucked into dark trousers. No tie. Sleeves rolled up. It was one of the things that had appealed to her about him from the start—he was a man who was happy to get stuck into things. It had surprised her, because men at his level usually left it to their minions to do the work, but he'd wanted to be over every little nut and bolt of the negotiations.

And now that memory struck a shard of fear into her. Would he be the same when it came to his daughter? It had been a week since she'd last seen him. He'd sent a curt text the day before yesterday, telling her to give him a couple of options of times for meetings, and now here she was.

The sun was setting over Manhattan behind him, bathing the iconic city in a golden light. But all Erin could see was him. Tall and formidable.

‘Come in.'

What had seemed like a great distance between them now felt minuscule as Erin crossed the luxuriously carpeted floor. She stopped at the other side of the desk. He couldn't have looked more stern and remote. A million miles from the charming man who had come to her apartment to seduce her again. Now his light eyes were like two chips of ice. She felt it in her blood. Making her cold.

A moment stretched between them, taut with tension. But Erin wasn't going to say anything until he spoke.

Eventually he asked, ‘Who is minding the baby?'

The baby.

Her hackles rose. ‘Her name is Ashling and she's with my father—her grandfather.'

‘A name that until a week ago I'd never even heard before.'

Guilt struck Erin again, like a little piercing needle. ‘It's Irish...it means dream.'

He didn't seem particularly impressed by this. And then, as if remembering his manners, he offered, ‘Would you like something? Water? Coffee?'

Erin's throat suddenly felt as dry as sandpaper. ‘Maybe just a little water, please.'

She watched as he came around from behind the desk and walked with loose-limbed grace to the drinks cabinet. He poured her a glass of water and brought it back. She plucked it from his fingers as quickly as she could, afraid that her skin would touch his.

As it was, she was battling flashbacks to that second night, when they'd had an impromptu midnight feast in his kitchen. She'd laughed when it had become apparent that he didn't know where basic things were in his own kitchen.

They were a long way from that moment now.

She took a sip of water. Ajax went back behind his desk.

He put out a hand, ‘Please, sit down.'

Erin shook her head. ‘I'm fine standing.' Then, before her nerves could consume her, she blurted out, ‘What are your plans?'

He'd had a week to absorb the news and think it all over...consult with lawyers. Erin was acutely aware of that.

A muscle in Ajax's jaw pulsed. ‘My plans are to discuss how we proceed from here.'

Erin swallowed. He sounded terse. Angry. He had every right to be.

‘For what it's worth, I'm sorry again that you had to find out the way you did. That I couldn't get a message to you sooner.'

He said, ‘There's no point going back and forth over a past we can't change, we need to think about the future.'

Erin's gut clenched. Ajax was in no mood to be conciliatory and she couldn't blame him. She was in this situation and had to deal with it as best she knew how.

She said, ‘I agree, to that end, I've drawn up a legal document, if you'd like to see it?'

Ajax focused on the woman in front of him, who was taking a sheaf of papers out of her briefcase, head bent. He was momentarily glad not to be looking into those far too mesmerising eyes. One second brown, the next green, and then gold. They were too distracting. Too perceptive. They made him forget what was happening here. The huge betrayal of her not telling him about his daughter.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected today, but Erin taking legal documents from her case, as if this was a business meeting, was definitely not a scenario that had come into his head over the past week.

She was looking at him now and holding a sheaf of papers over the desk towards him. He took it, bemused. Glanced at it. It was entitled: Custodial and Visitation Agreement between Ajax Nikolau and Erin Murphy.

She said, ‘First of all a DNA test needs to be done to establish paternity.'

Ajax put the contract down. There was a needling sensation at the back of his neck. Normally he was the one who took others by surprise.

‘I know she's mine.'

‘I appreciate that, but it's for your benefit. Without legal confirmation that she is yours, you don't have any rights to claim paternity or custody.'

She shouldn't have had to remind him of that.

The needling sensation got stronger.

He said, ‘And presumably you wouldn't have the right to demand paternal support?'

Erin's face flushed. ‘There are no demands. She will be entitled to support from her father the same as any child. I can support us quite well, in any event—'

‘On a part-time attorney's salary?'

She flushed even darker now.

Ajax found it beyond satisfying to see this evidence of emotion. Satisfying and arousing. He cursed his weakness.

‘I have other means,' she divulged, a little hesitantly.

Ajax arched a brow.

With obvious reluctance she elaborated. ‘My mother sent me a monthly allowance until I was eighteen. I put every cent into savings. I never intended to use them unless absolutely necessary, but they're there. I own my apartment outright. I'm not here to look for anything outside of fair maintenance, and to establish some ground rules for custody and visitation.'

Ajax heard the pride in her voice and thought of the fact that her mother had left her. Against his better intentions he felt a tug of empathy. His parents might have been more physically present than her absentee mother, but they might as well have been absent for all the actual parenting they'd done.

This woman had intrigued him from the very first moment he'd seen her. She still intrigued him. The fact that he couldn't say in any moment what she would do was...refreshing, when he was used to people contorting themselves into pretzels to do what they thought he wanted.

What was not refreshing, though, was how she affected him. He was used to being surrounded by the most beautiful women in the world, and yet it was this one—uniquely—who seemed to have infiltrated his body and mind in such a compelling, comprehensive way that he only wanted her. Even now, after the bombshell discovery of the daughter she'd kept from him.

He said, ‘Obviously I'll have to go through this with my legal team.'

‘Of course. I'd expect nothing less. But I think you'll find it very reasonable.'

Curious now, he said, ‘Give it to me in broad strokes...what you've set out.'

‘Once your paternity is confirmed, I've proposed a child maintenance payment system until Ashling is an adult, depending on whether or not she goes to university, until such time as she's graduated.'

That prospect made Ajax feel slightly winded for a moment. He had an image of a tall, slim, dark-haired woman, smiling, with a mortarboard cap on her head. He hadn't even imagined that for Theo.

‘Go on,' he bit out, regretting having asked the question now.

‘Her life will be here, with me, and I will be her primary carer. But you will be permitted access regularly. Holidays can be negotiated too. I recognise that she will have family in Greece. I want her to have a relationship with you, and the other side of her family. Both my parents were only children. I don't have aunts, uncles or cousins.'

Ajax turned and walked to the window, taking in the vast view of downtown Manhattan without really seeing it. He had legions of cousins and aunts and uncles, but they might as well have been inanimate statues for all the warmth or affection he and his brother had ever received from any of them. Cousins had been pitted against one another in annual get-togethers that had had more resembled The Hunger Games than a fun family occasion. Rivalries had been fostered, not friendships.

He knew from what Erin was saying that that wasn't what she envisaged at all. She had no idea what his family were like. He'd told her he wasn't royalty, but in many aspects, when it came to marriages and bloodlines, his family behaved as if they were.

She said from behind him, ‘One thing is non-negotiable. If you don't intend to foster a relationship with her—a real relationship, with regular meaningful meetings—then I must ask that you simply provide financial support and step back. I will not allow inconsistency—it's not fair. You're either in, or out.'

Meaningful meetings.

Like his relationship with Theo.

As someone who had never really known love, and certainly not unconditional love, having a child had taken Ajax unawares, and before he'd had time to protect himself it had been too late. He'd fallen in love with his son. Who hadn't even been his son. Loving Theo had broken Ajax wide open, leaving him exposed and vulnerable.

If that was what love was, he had a better understanding now of why generations of his family had had arranged marriages and kept their distance from their children. Because the pain of losing Theo had destroyed him.

It had killed something fragile and nascent inside him. It had mocked him for believing he was deserving of love...that he might experience something so pure.

The toxicity of generations of calcified emotions was what he knew. Not something as unbridled and outrageous as actual real emotion. He'd learnt that lesson the hardest way possible.

And yet here he was, being offered another chance to destroy himself all over again. His daughter might not suffer a tragic accident—Ajax knew instinctively that Erin was a conscientious mother, unlike his deceased wife—and that she would do her utmost to protect her child. Their child. But no power on earth could promise that no harm would come to her.

The thought of embarking on a relationship with his daughter and living with the terror of losing her every day almost made Ajax's legs buckle. He broke out in a sweat. His heart started to thump irregularly. Panic filled his veins.

He couldn't do it. Couldn't put himself back in that place of losing himself to a greater force only to have it snatched away from him like a punishment. He'd seen the child. She would be impossible not to love. Cherish. Protect.

She would do far better without him. Without this terrifying strangulating fear in his veins. After Theo, Ajax knew he couldn't endure such pain again. Loving or losing. That was why he'd vowed to himself that he would never try to have another family.

‘Ajax?'

He forced down the panic. The fear. He said, to his own reflection in the window, ‘I had a child and I lost him. I won't go through that again.'

‘But—'

Ajax turned around. Steeled himself. ‘Non-negotiable.'

Erin closed her mouth. She obviously sensed that this was not a moment to push it. She'd clearly seen something on his face.

Eventually she bent down and pulled something else out of the briefcase. A small padded envelope. She put it on his desk.

‘This is the DNA self-test kit. You need to take a swab from inside your mouth and package it up, then send it over to my doctor. All the information is there. He has Ashling's DNA sample already. Once they're matched, you're her legal parent.'

Ajax walked back towards the desk. He felt a heavy weight in his chest.

Erin said, ‘So, are you saying...you don't want to be involved?'

He forced himself to look at her and said, very clearly, ‘That's exactly what I'm saying.'