CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER TEN

W HAT THE HECK was going on?

Alice sat in a daze for a while.

She felt as though she’d suddenly been flung onto a rollercoaster and, now that the ride had come to a stop, her head was still all over the place.

Slow anger began to build inside her. Ever since she had skied her way to Mateo’s front door in search of help, her easy, predictable, pleasantly normal life seemed to have gone off the rails. Nothing was straightforward any more. And now, having steered herself to some kind of acceptance of what the future would look like, here he went, derailing everything all over again.

While she sat here and stewed, where was he? Back off to his fancy house, where he would probably lose himself in work and put her out of his mind, to be fished out again only when it suited him. Probably when he had to think about supervising the house move.

Was she going to sit around moping, coming to terms with Plan Three Hundred and Three?

No way. She changed her clothes, stuck on something more public-friendly than what she’d shoved on earlier and hunted down a cardigan. Outside, it was a lovely day, blue skies with teasing hints of spring in the air. She decided against public transport and instead called a cab to take her over to Mateo’s house.

She’d been there so many times that it no longer impressed her. She’d breathed a sigh of relief that he had never, not once, suggested that she move in with him before the cottage he had bought became available. Maybe he’d known that the soullessness of his house didn’t appeal to her on any level.

Or maybe it was a place he saw as his and his alone. It wasn’t as if he’d ever intended to get rid of it even once they’d married and were living together in the cottage. He’d said something about its convenience for work purposes, and the added bonus of providing somewhere for clients to stay that wasn’t as formal as a hotel if any confidential deals had to be hammered out.

Ha! Had he subconsciously decided to hold on to it because it was back-up for a relationship that might very well fail despite all his upbeat, persuasive chat about it being the ideal solution?

Thoughts occupied her as the taxi made steady progress through the congested streets. She didn’t want to go down any rabbit holes or get too absorbed in doubts, questions and uncertainties. She was angry with Mateo for putting her in that place.

She felt a flutter of nerves as the cab came to a stop outside the house. She could see the driver glancing at the impressive property with a certain amount of awe, and she nearly rolled her eyes, because it was such a predictable reaction.

Was it any wonder that the damned man waltzed through life with such overwhelming self-assurance that it was nearly impossible to say no to him? Growing up on the wrong side of the tracks had taught him how to be tough and making it to the top of the pile had taught him invincibility. He hadn’t got where he had by taking a back seat and being courteous. He’d got where he had by putting himself ahead of the pack and tenaciously making sure he held on to the lead.

The grand house was a spectacle of white, set back from the road and protected from it by wrought-iron gates and an intercom for entry though Alice had a code for the little side gate so there was no need for the intercom. She also had a key to the front door, which she had never used and which she wasn’t going to use now. Instead, she rang the doorbell, not even contemplating the fact that Mateo might not be home. Her anger wasn’t going to allow that little setback.

She heard the sound of his footsteps and then the door was pulled open and there he was. The flutter of nerves disappeared. She glared at him, hands on her hips, and met his eyes squarely.

‘How dare you?’

‘Come again?’ Mateo said, frowning and belatedly stepping aside so that she could sweep past him before spinning round on her heels and resuming her hands-on-hips stance.

‘You think you can show up at my leaving do and then get it into your head that because I happened to be laughing it was time for you to rethink the whole marriage scenario?’

‘Can I get you something to drink?’

‘I don’t want anything to drink, and don’t think you can stand there and prevaricate . What I do want is for you to tell me why you think you can act like a puppet-master. One minute, there’s no marriage; the next minute, you’re persuading me that marriage is the only possible solution and then, when I’ve bought into that, getting used to the idea, you decide that you’re going to do a U-turn and call the whole thing off!’

‘It’s not as simple as that.’

Alice followed him as he headed off towards the kitchen, bypassing doors that led to stunningly beautiful rooms, most of which were devoid of colour. White walls were interrupted by priceless works of art, and just as priceless rugs were strategically placed on the blonde wooden floors. The whole house soared with space, light, clever windows and arches that made the area seem as vast as a football field, yet there was nothing there that could ever be called personal . It was the sanitised space of a billionaire without intimate connections to anyone.

He had a complicated coffee machine which he now started up and it was only after a while, when the coffee was poured, that he sat facing her at the metal-and-glass table, long enough to seat ten and about as homey as an ice-pick.

The flutter of nerves returned and Alice knew it was because of the depth of her feelings for him and because of the way his sheer beauty got to her.

‘You don’t get to do this, Mateo,’ she said tightly.

Mateo raked his fingers through his hair and looked at the plump, sexy woman quietly simmering opposite him. He wanted to scoop her up and carry her off to the bedroom cave-man style, but of course that was the last thing he was going to do. She must have dashed out of the apartment, hot on his heels, because he hadn’t been back that long.

‘I hope you haven’t been using public transport,’ he said with a frown, suddenly distracted by the thought of her being jostled on a crowded Tube.

‘What does that have to do with anything? And stop changing the subject.’

Mateo lapsed into silence, because this was the last thing he’d been expecting when he’d opened his front door. Yes, he could see why she had stormed over here to find out what was going on, and could see why she felt he’d been pulling her strings and getting her to dance to his tune. What he couldn’t understand was why she couldn’t see that he was releasing her from an obligation she had never wanted in the first place.

‘I’m doing this for you,’ he eventually muttered.

‘You’re doing this for me .’

‘How many times have you told me that we’re not suited? That what you saw in your future was a man who was your soul mate?’

‘Things changed when I found out that I was pregnant.’

‘Things changed when you saw a picture of me in some trashy magazine with a blonde.’

‘Maybe,’ Alice admitted uncomfortably.

‘Maybe? There’s no doubt about it. You thought I’d gone to that function with a woman and I let you believe that because...because I felt that marriage was the best solution. If I got there by exploiting a moment of weakness in you, then all was fair in love and war.’

Mateo flushed darkly and shot her a brooding, challenging gaze.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I have no idea who that woman was. Someone must have trying to get her mug shot in a magazine. I haven’t looked at another woman since...since you.’

‘You haven’t?’

‘Why would I?’ He glanced away. He could feel the steady thud of his heart and the racing in his veins as he peered down into an abyss of the unknown.

‘Because...’

He heard the faltering in her voice and knew that she was utterly confused. He couldn’t blame her, considering he was pretty confused himself: confused by emotions that had overwhelmed him. Confused by an indecisiveness that was so unlike him. Confused as to what to do next.

‘I was jealous,’ he admitted roughly, and when their eyes met he saw with no great surprise that she was even more bewildered by his impulsive confession. ‘I think I’ve always been jealous when it comes to you and, seeing you there at your leaving party, I wanted you to laugh like that with me. I didn’t want you laughing like that with anyone else...but me. I realised that that was something you hadn’t done in a while and I knew why.’

He held up one hand although she hadn’t interrupted him. Her mouth was half-open and she was openly gaping. But, now that he had started down the confessional route, Mateo intended to lay his soul bare and complete the journey.

‘You’d been coerced into a situation by me. How could you be carefree and light-hearted when you were doing something you didn’t really want to do?’

‘Don’t speak, Mateo. Let me do the talking. Honestly, for someone so smart, you can sometimes be so...so... not smart . I wasn’t light-hearted because I was scared! I was scared that you might see just how much I wanted to marry you! I was so caught up in the effort of trying to hide my feelings for you that it was impossible to be carefree. When you said that I’d wanted more from Simon, you probably didn’t know just how right you were. Simon was a shadow, and I know now that any life with him would have been a half-life: a half-life for me .

‘Mateo, you’re the bright light that makes me feel alive! I don’t know who I was before I met you, but I wasn’t this person—I wasn’t this person who felt whole and wonderful and giddy with a thirst to see everything life holds for me, but only with you by my side! I wouldn’t have rushed over here like a bat out of hell to find out what the heck was going on if you didn’t make me feel the way you do.’

‘Alice,’ Mateo whispered. ‘Everything you’ve just said...my gorgeous girl...’

‘I want to marry you, Mateo.’

‘And I want to marry you , Alice.’ He sucked in a shaky breath and met her gaze with steady conviction. ‘I want to marry you, and not for the reasons you probably think. Yes, I truly believe that two parents are better than one. Yes, I sincerely think that for the sake of the child we have created it’s better for us to be together than apart. And yes, I admit that I was a blind fool, and for far too long didn’t look beyond those reasons to unearth the real reason I want to marry you...which is that I love you.’

‘You love me ?’

‘You fell through my front door to get out of a blizzard, and in that instant my life changed for ever. I just didn’t realise it at the time and, even when it should have been obvious, I ignored it because I’d lived my life assuming that love wasn’t something I was capable of feeling. I watched my father disintegrate when my mother died and, even though I loved him, something in me died then and that something was trust in the power of love.

‘When Bianca lost the baby we were going to have, I understood how much pain love could bring, because I loved that unborn child. So, Alice, by the time we met I had well and truly built a fortress of steel around my heart, and I was so sure that no one could ever get past it. Yet you proved me wrong. You got past all my barriers as easily as if they had never existed. I just didn’t see it at the time.’

‘Oh, Mateo.’

Had Alice been expecting this? Not in a million years. Joy flooded her and she leant towards him with bright eyes.

‘I’ve been hiding,’ she whispered. ‘I fell in love with you after two minutes, and ever since I came round to the idea of marriage I’ve been hiding my love, protecting my heart, because I thought that if you knew how I felt you’d be appalled.’

‘Talk to me. I want to hear.’

‘Okay, so, to start with I felt that it would be just too painful being married to you, living with you, loving you and knowing that you were never going to return my feelings. But then when I thought of you with someone else...another woman...’

‘A woman I had no idea I was supposedly dating...’

Alice smiled and blushed. ‘Well, that’s your fault for not denying it.’

‘Guilty as charged.’

‘Well, I knew in a heartbeat that that would be a lot more painful than being with a guy I was crazy about who wasn’t crazy about me.’

‘So, my darling...’ Mateo curved his hand on her cheek and smiled with such tenderness that her heart wanted to burst. ‘Now that we’ve established we need each other and love each other...can I ask for your hand in marriage? A real marriage with love and affection and all the happy-ever-afters I never thought would be on the cards for me. Because I can’t live without you.’

‘I can’t think of anything else in the world...’ Alice breathed. ‘Anything else on your list of demands? Because, for the record, my answer is yes .’

‘Now that you mention it...’ His voice was low, loving, wickedly sexy.

‘Anything.’

‘I’ve discovered that all the money sitting there in my bank account means nothing, because all I want to do is spend it on you, and you’ve consistently refused to be persuaded into accepting anything from me.’

‘Not true!’ Alice protested, laughing and delivering tender kisses on his cheek, the side of his mouth and against his neck. ‘Okay, largely true.’

‘A small church wedding is fine but, before we do that, I want to sweep you off to the Caribbean. Call it a honeymoon before the marriage, because after we’re married you might feel just a little too uncomfortable to travel.’

‘Well, you’ve already swept me off my feet, so who am I to object to a little more of the same...?’

Within days, Alice realised that all those signs of opulence—the club where the hush of the fabulously rich had had her gaping, the small but perfectly formed ski chalet, his palatial house in the best postcode in London—all paled in comparison to the black, sleek private jet that flew them to an island in the Caribbean where the wealthy and famous had their discreet, intensely private bolt holes.

From private jet they went on his own small, private yacht to a villa that sat within walking distance from a beach with pale, soft sand that melted into turquoise sea that was calm as a lake. He’d told her to pack light and, so she had, taking the bare minimum, floaty dresses and a hastily purchased maternity swimsuit.

She’d left the tentative warmth of spring to bask in the perfection of tropical heat and enjoyed a week of doing absolutely nothing. She paddled, sat with the warm water lapping around her and watched as Mateo struck out towards a blue horizon, as frighteningly good in the sea as he was on the slopes.

She lay by the side of his infinity pool, shaded by trees with the Technicolor vibrancy of flowering bushes and plants all around, and drowsily listened to the call of birds and the lazy buzz of insects. There was a personal chef who prepared all their food before disappearing at the end of the day, leaving them together to sit on his sprawling veranda with velvety darkness all around them and the sound of the rolling ocean in the background.

And, of course, they made love.

She knew he adored her pregnant body; he explored every inch of it, transporting her to a world of sensory excitement, leaving her sated and complete.

And when after a week they headed back to London, as he helped her into the Range Rover waiting for them at the airfield, he murmured that she was his queen and she could expect a whole lot more of the same in the years to come.

Could anyone have asked for more?