2. Chapter 2

2

*sends picture* Blast from the past!

Lo

Who’s the guy in the background?

Is this eye candy *eyes emoji*

“It’s been too long,” Janelle says, greeting Jameson. Genuine interest dances across his face, along with something else I can’t put my finger on. His eyes meet mine, his gaze burns with mischief and intrigue, so much so that I want to reach out and touch him. The way he looks at me makes me take a sharp breath, he eats up my form like it is his first and last meal—a starved man that has finally found his nourishment.

Or he could be eyeing my body for completely other reasons, you get used to that mindset when you are a fat woman… a fat kid honestly. Though with the way this man is looking at me right now, I can tell it’s the former. I straighten my shoulders, remembering that I stopped placing my value in other people’s opinions of me and started focusing on what I thought of myself. But I can’t take my eyes off him, allowing him his perusal of my full figure. Who doesn’t shiver beneath a wanted gaze?

“J-Dog!” Jameson breaks eye contact with me, I fold my lips in to stop myself from laughing at the nickname he’s given to one of my oldest friends. “What’s up girl?” he says, pulling her in for a hug.

I take a moment to peek at this bulldozer’s face, his cool umber skin reminds me of brown quartz beneath red and orange mood lighting. He has a thick, but manicured beard that enhances his pronounced cupid’s bow. I can tell he left the barber’s earlier today by how sharp his line up is, and I also catch the glint from the small, gold hoop earrings he has in his ear—one at his earlobe and two more at the very top of the same ear. That alone has me crossing my legs. I love a man who takes care of himself and shows pride in his appearance.

Cocking my head to the side a bit, I look a little deeper at his handsome face. My eyes widen further when I realize who he is and an excited flutter fills me. I watch as a slow smile spreads across his face, the action forces my gaze away from his lips and back to his almond-shaped, hickory eyes. Eyes that are focused back on me. The intensity in the way he looks at me quiets the surrounding noise, even if just for a moment.

“You are a fool, you know that?” Janelle playfully taunts, her laugh is infectious and has my own lips turning up into a soft smile. “Jameson, this is my friend Cassidy. Oh wait…Do you guys know each other? This is our reunion after all.” I smirk at her, she rambles when she’s excited. Glad to see nothing has changed.

As I begin to say we don’t know each other, Jameson reaches out his hand, lowering his voice a bit as he leans in toward me. “Pleasure to meet you, officially, Cassidy. I remember seeing you around the halls here and there but I don’t think we have ever been properly introduced.” I stand to take his hand, but instead of shaking it, he holds it a bit, rubbing his thumb over the back of mine. “It’s a shame we didn’t meet sooner.”

Biting the inside of my cheek, I meet his focused gaze with my own and internally squeal, like we’re still in high school.

“It really is, but it’s nice to meet you all the same now,” I respond. I find I don’t want to pull away, enjoying the warmth of his hand on my own. “Officially, of course.”

My hand remains in his a few seconds longer before Janelle interrupts whatever moment we are lost in. “Do you guys want to get refills on the drinks and dance a bit?”

This would be my cue to step back and sit, protecting myself in the comfort of the chairs, in the guise of some fake truth. My phone chimes at that moment and in the spirit of “saying yes” more often, I surprise myself by agreeing quickly and excusing myself to grab my clutch from our cluster of chairs.

Lo

Just checking in on you babes

Hey babes, I’m having a really great time, actually!

OMG! Guess what?

Lo

As you should be! Any eye candy there?

Of course she wants to know about the eye candy, her question urging me to lift my eyes to find a certain man on the dance floor. She’s right, he sure is yummy. My best friend has always been a serial dater, her focus has been on building skills and not on finding Mr. Right when Mr. Right-Now suited her needs just fine. She met someone before going for her MBA who I thought may be something more than a fling. I remember crawling up on the couch with her and wrapping her in my arms as she sobbed after she made their breakup final. Right person, wrong time, and too much trauma mixed together. Since then, she’s gone back to being a singleton, enjoying life as she puts it, and I’m here for her finding what she wants. I only want her to be happy.

Lo

Chisme? What is it!

LOL! No Lo.

I ran into Janelle

Lo

OMG! OUR JANELLE!?

Yep, the one and only.

Lo

Make sure you tell her I said hi and I miss her.

I will! I love you, thank you for checking in on me. Get some rest!

Lo

So there is eye candy!

Let me see! *eye looking emoji*

Lol. Bitch I am not snapping a pic, I will call you in the morning.

Lo

FINEEEE!

Feeling lighter than ever, I laugh at my best friend’s antics. Now, I just need to get another drink of liquid courage before I go find Janelle and Jameson on the dance floor. Stuffing my phone back into my clutch and snapping it closed, I shake my head still thinking of Paloma’s crazy that I love so much. A pair of deep-tan boots come into my line of sight and I snap my head up to find Jameson holding our drinks.

“You have a lovely smile Cassidy.” The compliment in his smooth, deep voice causes a blush to spread across my cheeks and I find that his cheeks are now a deeper shade as well.

“Thank you,” I say softly, as he clears his throat before handing me my drink. His fingers brush against mine, sending warmth up my wrist and making the want burn hotter. “And thank you, for the drink. How did you know what I was drinking?” I question him, needing to know.

He twists around, waving at the bartender who holds both thumbs up. “I told Charles over there I needed a drink for a beautiful woman but didn’t know her drink order. I pointed you out and lucky for me, he remembered.” Jokingly, he drops his smile and squints his eyes a bit. “Though, maybe that means I’m not so lucky.” He turns back around, making eye contact with the bartender once again and points a finger gun at him. Charles mockingly clutches his chest and I laugh so hard my face hurts. Jameson has a lightness about him that brightens up every space he’s in.

“You’re pretty smooth for a bulldozer.” I emphasize the sound of the ‘t’ in pretty before asking him, “And what are you having? Wait… let me guess.” His smile looks genuine as he watches me make up my mind. “Whiskey, with maybe…club soda.”

His laugh rumbles his chest, stretching his shirt over the muscles beneath it, a shirt that I would much rather be non-existent. Get your act together girl!

“You’re not far off, it’s called The Godfather. Charles had a nice small batch of scotch whiskey that I wanted to try, it gave me the perfect reason to order my favorite. The amaretto in it makes the flavors lighter than you’d expect.” He nods his head behind him, toward the rest of our class dancing to whatever the DJ is playing. “So about that dance floor over there,” he says, rolling his shoulders. “You ready for my moves?”

I move my head to the side and quickly look in the direction of the dance floor. “Bring it on!”

Jameson and Janelle dance like they’re the stars of the show, where one of them bounces and rocks their shoulders the other is shimmying their hips to the beat of the music. At one point they both worked their way lower to the floor facing one another, their heads bopping back and forth to the beat. Watching the two of them goof off together leaves me questioning whether he was coming on to me when he brought over my drink or if I imagined the tension I felt between the two of us, and honestly, I’m still not sure.

I’m not going to let my confusion stop me from having fun; the dance floor is packed and I can’t believe I haven’t taken more chances at dancing. It is something I deprived myself of for way too long. It allows me to take up too much space, to be seen, watched, and allows my insecurities to be louder than what I know to be true for myself. Being out here, on the dance floor with Jameson and Janelle, seems to chase all those doubts and worries from my mind, giving me the chance to experience peak joy. It’s a feeling I’ll never let go of.

Now we are in the center of the dance floor, sweat glimmers against my skin from the exertion. There is steady warmth from all the people gyrating, surrounding us in their own separate worlds, and I’ve never felt lighter. I lean into our little trio, shouting over the music that I’m going to grab some water. Just as I make it to the edge of the dance floor, “Return of the Mack” by Mark Marrison comes on. Before I get the chance to turn back around, it’s like Jameson is thinking the same thing I am as he grabs my hand, tugging me back to the dance floor.

“You can’t go yet, this is my jam, girl!” Janelle yells over the music as we both join her. Thoroughly in her zone, she throws her head back and sways her hips without a single care.

Someone squeezes past me, waving their hands in the air, pushing me flush against Jameson. Both my palms now rest on his chest, one of his arms is wrapped around my middle. I can feel the searing heat of his hand pressed against my lower back and can do nothing but stare up at him. My chest rises and falls quickly, my heartbeat thumping in my ears muffles the music surrounding us. I can’t be the only one feeling this connection between the two of us. He raises an eyebrow at me, his eyes holding a flirtatious gleam to them before releasing me slowly. I’m definitely not the only one. This could be awkward but it feels so natural, which is throwing me for a loop. My gaze darts to our feet, not wanting to show my uncertainty that’s playing clearly across my face and I try my best to catch my breath.

Jameson slides his finger under my chin, tilting my head back so I’m forced to look at him. The focus this man has as he searches my face leaves me breathless. “Let’s not let J-Dog steal the show.” He smirks and as if on cue, Janelle bumps her hip with mine and Jameson spins me.

Every single time I brought up water or wanted to grab another drink, another song came on that was one of “our songs.” I can’t stop dancing when it’s my song playing. We’ve been dancing for so long that Janelle, the dancing queen herself, lets us know she is heading out, giving each of us a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I nod to Jameson, lifting myself on my toes, I press a palm to his chest and lean into him. “I’m going to walk her out. Don’t you dare find another dance partner!” I tease him as he throws his hands up in the air.

Janelle and I exchange numbers and I promise her I will actually stay in touch this time. She lets me know she will be by Shaken Tropes some time before her leave is over. Waving her off, I can feel my anxiety rise up, my palms are sweating a bit as I make my way back into the hall that has become a club scene. But I don’t return to the dance floor, instead I go back to the bartender and grab a water.

Fuck me. I want to give Jameson my number but is that too forward? Do I care if it is? Asking myself that question, I find that I don’t care one bit. I release a breath and reach into my clutch to grab a pen before scribbling my number down on the back of the invite. Goosebumps erupt down my arms, as I stand stunned in my own assertiveness. I don’t know if I can do this but I know if I don’t, I’ll regret it and fuck regretting things. The worst thing that could happen is he says no. I would be mortified. But I would live without the regret.

Walking back into the main event space, I scan the dance floor before spotting my dance partner off to the side. He’s leaning against the wall, sipping on a drink. My skin is still slicked with sweat from dancing as I make my way over to Jameson. His gaze lifts to mine and he points toward the chairs we were sitting in earlier in the evening, and I nod in agreement.

He holds out his arm for me to go ahead first. There’s a gleam of mischief that shines in his eyes and a growing smirk as he drinks me in. I can’t lie, it does something to my already secure confidence. I sink my hips deeper into each of my steps and I can feel his eyes track the sway of my ass. The bass dies down and cool relief hits me as I take a seat. I couldn’t be happier to step out of the range of the speakers and the thick heat of the crowd.

“Are we going to ask those boring what have you been doing with your life questions, now?” I say, lifting my brows and pursing my lips.

“It’s only boring if you don’t want to know. And I’m definitely interested in learning what you’ve been doing for the last ten years.” I stop myself from swiveling my head around, wanting to find the cameraman of this dating episode because this man cannot be real. He’s too good and so right, so I tell him so.

“You’re right!” Leaning forward, I take a sip of my drink before continuing. “What’s the best part of the last ten years for you?”

“Without a doubt, working with my best friend. I went to school for design architecture but I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go with it until my best friend called me up one day asking for help on a project. The rest is history.”

“I co-own a business with my best friend too!” My shock is both audible and shows brightly on my face. “I opened Shaken Tropes with my closest friend almost five years ago now. Some people say to be careful about mixing business with friends and family, but it’s been the best decision I’ve made.”

“What is Shaken Tropes?” he asks with genuine intrigue.

“Oh, it’s my bar.” A wide smile climbs up my cheeks at remembering our earlier conversation. “Paloma, my bestie, and I are both big romance readers and we really wanted to have a place where we could share that love with others. So, we thought what better way than books, cocktails, and fictional love interests. Each of our drinks are named after book tropes, we have shelves filled with books within every genre of romance to ensure everyone feels included. It’s right on the outskirts of downtown, and it’s been a dream come true.”

“That sounds really dope. I don’t think I’ve heard of anything like that before,” Jameson says, his arm wrapping around the back of the chaise he sits on in a relaxed nature, his focus solely on me. God this man is effortlessly gorgeous.

“Yeah, the cherry bourbon sour is my favorite and it’s one of the first drinks we created for the bar.”

“What’s it called there?” I should have known that question was coming.

“Oh! Um…it’s called One Bed.” His eyes never leave mine but now there is a deeper look of something within them. “It’s the name of a trope and is a fan favorite with romance readers. It’s when there is only one bed and the main characters are forced to share the same bed. One of the main characters always decides they’ll sleep on the couch or floor and then eventually, ends up in the bed with the other. My favorite sub-trope of a one-bed scenario is when they’re enemies, but they are actually obsessed with each other, and they refuse to sleep anywhere else, but in the bed. And then they end up having…” I stop myself and realize I’ve been rambling. Heat slowly creeps up to my cheeks, staining them a deep shade of pink. “Having, um, a really good time.”

I’m not a prude by any means, but there is no way I am going to go into heavy detail about that scene. Clearing my throat, I lean back a bit and ask, “Why is it we never met? Janelle was one of my best friends during school and I don’t know…I’m kind of shocked she never introduced us.” There were several occasions I saw him walking the halls, but my younger self just didn’t have the nerve to approach him. It wasn’t until tonight that I realized he knew someone I was so close with.

“I find that interesting too.” The hint of intrigue in his voice has me doubting which part he is responding to. “But I’m not complaining now. When we were in high school, we were all running around trying to figure out who we were, while also being horny little shits.”

A laugh easily falls from my mouth. “We were horny little shits. I have never been so glad to be an adult as I am now. Ugh! I couldn’t go back. I don’t know about you, but there is this freedom in being myself as an adult. Not having that ever-present feeling of not being enough. And maybe, being a horny little shit isn’t totally a teen thing.” He sputters and all but chokes on his drink before he laughs. “Tell me more about you, about this business of yours?” I ask him, wanting to know more about him.

“After I finished my bachelors, I started flipping houses…Well, no. That’s not entirely accurate. When I was a teen, I helped my best friend during the summer months and learned a lot about house remodels. I didn’t start doing it on my own until after college. That’s why I’m here actually. I’m starting a new project that’s in the area while I wait to finalize on another.” He rubs his hands together like he can’t wait to get started on it. “I want to know more about this bar of yours.”

Time flies by, talking with Jameson is easy. I can completely be myself, but as we talk a yawn works its way free. The music is still thumping in the background, but the crowd seems to be slowly dwindling.

I start to gather the napkins I’ve used, stuffing them in my empty plastic cup. A few servers started passing around small cups of water about an hour ago. Owning a bar drives me to clean up after myself, making it easier on the servers that will ultimately fret over my mess. I look over at Jameson who is slowly nodding his head to the beat of the music, piling up toothpicks from the hors d’oeuvres into his own cup. I take the opportunity to run my fingers up his arm to gain his attention.

“Jameson, thank you for hanging out with me tonight. It was really great to meet you, officially of course. I…Well. I didn’t think I was going to have much fun, but you and Janelle really made this night worth it.” This man is so fine and if I am going to say yes to anything else today, it is going to be to myself. And I know exactly what I want.

“I feel the same way.” His smirk is devilish and disarming, which only rattles me more as I clench my thighs together. His fingers brush against my own as he continues to help me clear our table. Knocking over my napkin-filled cup, my gaze snaps to the exit as my nerves start to get the best of me as I assess how to get out of here quickly.

Jameson leans over, I watch him as he picks up the mess that fell to the floor and looks back up at me with a soft smile. His deep-brown eyes meet mine and it’s as if the room quiets completely. I could drown in him, and there’s no way I can walk out of here without trying. Before he can say anything more, I interrupt him not wanting to lose my nerve.

“I have to head home, but…” My thoughts stall. It’s now or never Cassidy! You are a grown-ass woman and this man is so into you! I shift my weight a bit, nervous about the invitation that is burning a hole in my clutch and finally pull it free. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but here’s my number.”

I wanted to be forward and give my number to him; I needed to have it written down and ready to give him because I was bound to talk myself out of doing so. I hand him my cell number that I scribbled on the back of the reunion invite. “Call me, sometime, if you want. Have a great night!”

Quick on my feet, I’m already walking away as he takes the invite from my hand and smiles. Hopefully I didn’t read this situation wrong , I think to myself as he starts to stand, but I am already waving goodbye and moving toward the exit. My nerves are very much getting the best of me. I know he is as into me as I am him, but I don’t want to wait around for the possibility of a no. I can hear the beat of the music slowly fade as the click of my heels becomes louder.

Pressing the metal bar that will release the lock, I take a deep breath and open the door and I’m met with the pleasantly warm night air that pebbles my skin. I may be standing here now, ten years later, but seeing him again is like I’m right back in the heat of teenage dream bliss, I have hope that the flirty glances we shared turn to something much more. A crush that I never acted on, never let myself dive too deep into, but tonight feels like it could be fate… or good karma, whatever it is they call it.

Unlocking my car door, I climb in and press the locks before turning it on. I pull out of the parking lot and roll the windows down to enjoy the evening breeze whip through my curls. Nothing short of death could steal away the effect he left on me.