Main Master

E ven locked into Melissa’s triggers, I was well aware of what was happening. The Council was watching. I was removing my fucking tie. I’d fuck Melissa if she commanded me to. I wouldn’t have a choice. My words were still my own. My body was a different story. But she was going to kill me, during or after. Those were her intentions. I wasn’t na?ve about where this was going. Tonight, things would be ending one way or another. If I didn’t figure out how to break this hold, it would be ending with me as a corpse.

“You won’t get me under completely. I won’t bend to your demands. You’re not Vivia. You can look like her. You can sound like her. That doesn’t make you her.”

Melissa sighed. “You used to love to play games. You’re not making this very fun. I see I’ll have to shake things up. Think about our sessions. Let’s go back to the anchor point, shall we? You know what I’m talking about.” She waved her hand against the wall, clapping so loud that I felt my body jolt through the ripple that seemed to roll through the room. What I saw had me searching for air. I’d seen Vivia’s old room in dreams. It was perfectly maintained in my memory. To see it again. To be in it, exactly as I remembered. My fingers clamped to my suits jacket, too in shock to shrug it off like I’d intended.

“Better?” She waved to her side. My brain battled between the bed I saw, and the location where I knew my sofa rested. “Shall I climb in and lay down? Do you remember what I was wearing the last time you saw me laying in my bed?”

I jerked hard at my suit’s jacket, feeling myself remove and cling to it as I glared at her. At…Vivia. But my glare didn’t last as her eyes widened and filled with sorrow. Blame? It was so hard to suddenly decipher want and need. Real and false. Past, present, and sessions I couldn’t remember. How many times had I imagined this? How many times had I offered to sell my soul to just see her again. To have her? To hold her? And I could. I could give in and die this way. I could end this right with the only woman I would ever love. Was it so wrong to pretend? Hadn’t that been what I’d been doing with June? I was desperate for a clone of Vivia, and now I had her. She was right here. I could give in and leave this world like this…to truly be with her…I could…No. I was fooling myself. It wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the same.

“You’re so pale.” A soft laugh, her laugh, drew me from foreign thoughts. Thoughts I shouldn’t have had. Thoughts that didn’t even feel like mine. Not really. My brain was scrambled. Parts of me were mixing with accumulations of somebody I wasn’t anymore. A stranger. I was no different than any Master or Mistress here. They may have primarily been under my control, but I was under Melissa’s. Under Vivia’s. What Melissa had done over the years, I didn’t even know. But I knew what she was capable of, because I knew what I could do, and that was enough to have me scouring my mind for some form of balance and control.

I slowed my breaths, letting my jacket fall to the floor. When I moved up to unbutton my shirt, my skin crawled with warning. I barely felt it as I focused on the instructions I made sure to listen to every day. Loops were easy as long as I was lucid. Reversing the effects were possible. It was getting there that was the hard part. But even if I could, I had other things to take into account. The Council. The future. A truth I couldn’t connect with .

“I’m going to miss this,” she mumbled. “Have you missed me, Elec?”

Squeezing my lids shut, they wouldn’t stay closed as I winced. To see Vivia was all I wanted. To gauge these emotions that left me confused and drowning was vital. After all, this was the last time I’d ever see her again. The last time?—

The sound that left me was involuntary. I clutched to the black button up wanting to push from this floor and punch my fist through Mistress Two’s chest. But it wasn’t her. Yet it was. Together, they were one. Just as she said. And fuck if this ghost didn’t have my heart. I could feel it ache at who I was forced to stare at. I’d have much preferred to be trapped facing the woman I hated than to have hate for the woman I loved.

“Change back and tell me what you want.”

“Oh, we’re past negotiations, Elec. ” She motioned to my shirt, kindling the need for me to continue removing it. I could barely get my fingers to work through the new trigger. The moment the material hit the floor, she sighed, her demeanor shifting as she took me in. “Such a waste. It’s truly sad how all my hard work has come to this. I’ll have to reset everyone. I’ll need a child. An heir. I’ll—” A sob broke free from nowhere. The shift was enough to pull me from the fog I was starting to float in. “You’ve ruined everything. No, that was Braddock’s bitch blank slate. If she would have—No. This is just…”

“This Braddock situation really got to you. I can get you help, Melissa. We can work on this together.”

But was she Melissa anymore? I felt lightheaded. Tapping. It had my gaze cutting over to her hand on the end table.

“You can’t help me, Elec. Tap. Tap-tap. “You can’t even help yourself.”

My jaw clenched. “The Council…can help.”

“The Council,” she spat out. “You don’t think I know they’re watching. They’re sleeping now. They know nothing. They remember nothing ,” she said louder. “The Council sleeps. They forget.”

“No. Come. Closer. Come—” Pain shot into my head and on instinct, I reached for it. Blood flashed. Pounding. Impact, over and over. Phantom pain webbed like lightening through my hands. Tap. Tap-tap-tap. “Come.” I growled, needing to swing. Needing to squeeze my hands around her neck. “Closer. Come.” But blurry images were all I saw as I searched for more words. They kept coming, far away but close. Distorted but right before my eyes.

Tap.

Tap-tap.

The room wavered and gravity sucked me down some black hole of nothingness. My thoughts sputtered, and I could feel myself falling and spinning. I was twirling so fast. Time seemed to last forever. I gasped, coughing and sucking in air. I was on my back. Clarity wouldn’t come as I forced open my lids.

Blurriness. Colors merged, clearing as I repeatedly blinked.

Tap.

Tap-Tap.

Tap

A loud sound left me as I rolled to my side. My hand went to help with balance but stopped as soon as hardwood came into view. I knew that rich color. I knew the pale pink and light blue rug that rested not inches away.

“You’re an absolute mess. What am I going to do with you?”

“I…”

Nothing. No thoughts. No agenda or mission. All I could do was look around while I tried to remember what I was doing on Vivia’s floor.

“My father’s going to kill you if he finds out you snuck in again. Why did you sleep on the floor, Elec? You could have come to the bed. Don’t you want to sleep with me?”

Big eyes looked wounded as she stared over from the edge of the bed. Was I supposed to answer? Could I answer? My mouth opened but nothing came out.

“Elec.” A pause as her eyes studied my face. “I said come get in my bed.”

Vivia. Pouty lip. Dark hair. Tanned skin against the white nightgown.

I dropped my gaze to the carpet, scanning the room as if I were looking for something.

“ Elec Wexler. Are you feeling alright?”

My gaze lifted at her impatience. I was dizzy. I…needed something.

“My head hurts.”

“Oh.” Her voice softened and she stood from the bed, slowly walking towards me. “You must have partied too hard with your friends last night. You really need to stop that. You’re supposed to be proving yourself to my father. What’s he going to think if he overhears what you’re doing?”

Did I care what he thought? I should have cared. I should have?—

My eyes lifted to hers. She was Vivia. She was the love of my life.

“Elec, you poor thing. You’re really not feeling good. Come to the bed. Let me make you feel better.”

I let her help me stand, feeling myself sway into her small frame. We more fell onto the bed than lowered to it. I held her in close, trying to protect her from my weight as I rolled her to be more on top of me.

“I have to stop drinking. I.” I swallowed hard. I didn’t taste alcohol. Had I been drinking? I couldn’t remember drinking.” I swept over Vivia’s concerned face again, searching. Searching. Had I been out with friends? I couldn’t remember anything at all.

“You’re always so serious.” She snuggled in, adjusting along my side as she turned my face more towards her. “Kiss me and let’s forget everything. The last few weeks have been horrible. Make it go away. You always know how to do that.”

“Has it been so bad?”

Her lips brushed mine.

“I just want to forget everything. I want things to go back to what they used to be. We’re not the same.”

“We’re not?”

Did something happen? This was Vivia. I loved Vivia. She was…Vivia. Why would things not be the same?

“Don’t act like you don’t know what’s wrong. You did this to us.”

“I…Vivia. I’m sorry.”

“I know. Are you going to kiss me and make it better?”

My hand slid against her cheek, and I leaned in, halting just before our lips brushed. Nothingness. Blank. Blank. Loop.

“Jesus, Elec.”

Lips pressed hard into mine and pressure from her hand settled on my bare chest. Pleasure morphed with pause stealing me from the kiss so that all I felt were the tips of her nails against my skin. I jerked back, breathing hard as I scanned her face. It only lasted a moment before I lifted to a sitting position. My mind was racing with emptiness. Swarming and searching for…something.

“Sorry, baby, I gotta go. I’m really not feeling well.” I stood, eyeing the door and already heading for it. “Raincheck, okay?”

Clap!

“Glue.”

My legs locked through the rolling sensation. I felt sick. My head pounded, and I reached up to my temple hearing words I couldn’t decipher. Words I knew but didn’t recognize.

“You are some kind of work. Where do you think you’re going?”

My lids cracked open.

“Vivia, I…I’m really not well. I feel sick. Am I sick?”

“If you are, it’s your fault. I told you to lie down.”

Back and forth my head shook. This wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right.

“ Elec Wexler .” The click of her tongue drew my attention. “I told you I can make you feel better. Watch my hand.” She grabbed her breast through the white nightgown, gripping hard before tracing it down her stomach. “Don’t you want to see if this will make you feel better? I bet it does.”

Slowly, she pulled up the hem. My entire body was shaking. But not with anticipation. Not even from pent up excitement. I was angry. Angrier than I could ever remember feeling. Wasn’t she listening to me? Couldn’t she see I wasn’t feeling well? I was sick. I was…looping. There was a loop. Something with a loop.

“You look like a ghost. Walk, Elec. Get back on the bed.”

And I was. But I didn’t want to . Just seeing her was making me mad. She wasn’t listening to me. Vivia never listened to me. It was always about what she wanted. What about me?

“That’s good. Just like that. Lay down and let’s make you?—”

Before I knew what I was doing, my hand shot to her throat. The grip I had was locked in like cement. I squeezed, pulling her closer. Staring into terrified eyes that felt dangerous. They pulled and pleaded and all I wanted to suddenly do was gouge them out. It didn’t make sense. Nothing about what was happening was right. Loop. I was in a fucking loop, but what did that mean?

“I want to leave.” I turned, dragging Vivia with me as I spun in a circle. My feet wouldn’t move. Had she said ‘glue’? My gaze snapped to her. “Why can’t I leave? I want to leave.”

A tear escaped and her mouth opened, but I was squeezing harder, not allowing her to talk. She couldn’t talk . I couldn’t let her speak but?—

“Loop.” Again, I spun, scanning Vivia’s room, dragging her small body with me. Her feet were scraping, trying to find footing in my panic. I should let her go. I should stop this right now. But I couldn’t. Loop. Loop. “ I want to leave!”

The roar in her face had more tears escaping. Her face was turning a deep red and she was trying with everything she had to breathe out of her mouth. It was a sound that had my head spinning. One that had colors melting from my walls and the floor waving beneath my feet.

Ring.

Ring.

The shrill sound sent my body jolting at the sound. My living room came into view and with it… her . But not Melissa. Even knowing who she suddenly was didn’t change her back to the woman I knew resided behind the mask of Vivia. Death . Yes. She had said that I would see her as Vivia until I die. But I wasn’t the one who was dying tonight.

Ring.

Ring.

“Loop.” I repeated. “I don’t need a fucking loop now, do I. Let’s see who’s calling, shall we?”

I took a step, dragging her as she fought and clawed at my hand. No more glue. No more illusions as I stopped at the table and grabbed her phone. I hit the button, bringing it to my ear.

“Hello?”

A pause.

“Where’s Melissa? Who is this?”

My brow drew in as I nearly cut off all of her oxygen. Blood beaded against the top of my hands as she put all of her strength in trying to get free.

“The . Master Two-fifty-eight, is that you?”

“ Oh .” Surprise. Guilt. “. Yes, it’s me. Adrian. Is Melissa okay? I know she had the trial this morning. I wanted to check in on her. She was very upset when I talked to her earlier.”

I eased my hand enough to allow the smallest amount of air to go flooding in. She gasped, making a gurgling sound as I began squeezing even harder. She was trying to sob. Trying to speak but it was nearly impossible with the pressure I held.

“Upset. Yeah. You could say she’s pretty upset. I’m just going to be blunt because I’m a little busy. Is he dead?”

“…I’m sorry?”

“Ron. Ronald , her husband. Did you kill him like she wanted?”

Silence.

“Come on Master, I don’t have all day.”

“I, ah, I mean, I heard he might have got in an accident or something when he was headed to their country home. Like maybe a car accident. …Off a cliff.”

I smiled, nodding as it mixed with the rage that was beginning to overpower me.

“Excellent. Thank you for calling, Mr. Bulvere. You have no idea how much you helped me out. Do me a favor. Head to the Gardens. I have a special treat for you.”

Hanging up, I didn’t give him time to respond. I tossed the phone down, glancing over to Nineteen who was blinking heavily. Blood was soaking his shoulder and shirt, and he still appeared out of it. There was a large lump and laceration where she’d broken the glass across the side of his forehead. I turned to Melissa, breathing through the eerie numbness as I walked us into the kitchen.

“We’re going to take this nice and slow.” I reached into my butcher’s block, pulling free a large knife. “No more tapping.” My next words were ones I knew she didn’t understand, but she didn’t have to. The power from my monotone voice kicked in immediately. It wasn’t enough to put her under, but it was enough to daze her as I let go and grabbed her hand, whacking down the blade to slice over three of her digits. The scream that followed was music to my soul as I jerked her other hand up, chopping across the entire top. Blood sprayed out and four fingers rolled from my countertop. The air caught in her lungs, and I latched back to her neck, pulling her to Nineteen. I grabbed the dangling radio from his uniform, hitting the button.

“This is the . There’s been an attack in my suite. The High Leader is down and injured. All available top guards report to my apartment immediately. Inform Master One of the situation. Have him ready me a torture room.”

I dropped the radio, turning to face the one woman I’d spent my adult life admiring. A woman I now hated more than myself.

“Melissa LaRoe, I hereby strip you of your title as Mistress Two. Actually…you’re not even a LaRoe anymore. You lost that title when you had your husband killed tonight. You’re just Melissa. Not a doctor. Not an elite. Just a cunt that no one wants without your persuasion. You’re stripped of everything. Harm to the is punishable by death. By me.” I leaned in inches from eyes that were almost completely red from broken blood vessels. “I’m going to fucking kill you just like you made me kill her.”