Mistress A-0002

I f anyone knew the signs of psychosis it was me. Did I worry that I was exhibiting irrational behavior? That I was dissociating and feeling out of touch with reality? That my father’s words were suddenly haunting me? No. I knew my mind and what I could handle. I was stressed. More so than usual. There was a lot riding on me making this thing with Elec work. It had to work. He. Was. My. Work. To lose a decade and a half of research at this point was catastrophic. Sure, my emotions were playing a small part, but this was bigger than feelings or exploration. The Collective High Council gave me a job, and I had spent a good part of my life dedicated to it. Elec had all the markers. He was the perfect Main Master for the Garden of the Gods. He was exactly what they needed. I couldn’t recreate that in a normal person. I couldn’t make another him on short notice. He was devoted to his mission, even if he wasn’t necessarily loyal to me. And I couldn’t force that. Not with him. At least, not one hundred percent. I did what I could. I figured over the years, he’d fall deeper under my spell. Especially with me portraying Vivia. I was sure he’d subconsciously merge us. He’d soften towards me, even if he didn’t realize he was doing it. But time hadn’t given me his complete trust. If anything, the last few months proved the opposite.

“You didn’t even return my calls. You don’t have a little time? I came back to see you. Ever since the auction, you’ve been distant. Did I…ruin us?”

I eased from my desk, taking my time as I walked around it to face Adrian. As I leaned back to sit against the dark oak, I couldn’t help but bring my arms up to cross over my chest.

“Ruin us,” I repeated. “That’s what you came back to the Gardens for? Clarification? Did I not make myself clear before you left?”

“Melissa, I haven’t been able to sleep. I can’t think. You said we were fine, but with your recent behavior, I’m questioning everything. I figured it was better to meet in person to see where we stood before I drove myself crazy.”

I laughed. “Crazy. Funny you say that. I was just assessing myself as well.”

“Are you okay? Please, just talk to me. I can help you with whatever you need.”

His concern had him stepping closer. He wasn’t but a few feet away, but even this close, I could smell the subtle hint of his spicy cologne.

“You can’t help me.”

“I can.”

“ Not this time. ” My eyes closed and within a second, Adrian was cupping my face. When my lids opened, his worry was real. “You can’t,” I breathed out. “My son has been arrested and is in Hell Row. He may face execution. On top of that, the Main Master is at his wits end with me, so begging for mercy isn’t going to work. Oh, and I heard a doorbell last night as I was falling asleep. We don’t have fucking doorbells at the Gardens, Adrian. My mind is on overdrive. If you’re wondering why I’m not calling you back, it’s not because I’m being distant; I’m just fucking overwhelmed.”

“Jesus.” For seconds the shock filled his face. “Your son? Melissa.” His head shook back and forth. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear.” His hands dropped as he pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me. The need for contact was push and pull. The part of me that loved to play the damsel said this was good. Pity was beneficial. I could use that for gain. But the truth was, I couldn’t stand the contact. I didn’t want a shoulder to cry on; I wanted to play him like a puppet and watch the life leave his eyes.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. To lose my son…”

Tears fell. Fake. Prize winning rivers of distress.

“I wish I knew the Main Master better, but I’m afraid we haven’t connected much. I could reach out to him for you. Jett is your son. Surely what he did doesn’t warrant death.”

My mouth parted as my eyes went round with anguish. My lip quivered, and I watched him go deeper under my spell.

“He attacked another Master’s slave. He was in the wrong, and he knew better. There’s nothing I can do. I’m not even allowed to see him until the board grants permission. Given who I am, it won’t happen. I’m a risk to Jett’s trial. The next time I see my son, they’ll be killing him.”

Sobs had my shoulders shaking. I leaned my cheek into Adrian’s chest, clinging to his suit’s jacket as I let myself go through the motions of a grieving, distraught mother.

“Shh. I’m here for you. I’ll do whatever you need. Even if it’s just this right here. I told you the night of the auction that I’m committed to seeing where this Garden’s relationship goes. I meant that. I may not have you on the outside world, but here, you’re mine.”

“Yours?” I breathed out, tilting my face to meet once again with his stare.

“I mean, if you’ll have me. I’m not stupid. I see how the other men can’t keep their eyes off you. You could have anyone here. I want you to choose me. Let me show you what that son-of-a-bitch husband of yours won’t. I can make you happy, Melissa. All you have to do is tell me what you want.”

Want?

My stare lowered back to his chest as thoughts took over. I was disassociating again. I knew that. Answers blurred and wouldn’t come. My lips parted through the nothingness. Adrian didn’t speak as I lost myself. How long, I didn’t know. My head once again tilted back, and I blinked heavily through my swollen eyes to gaze into his. More tears escaped but not for him. I didn’t even truly see who I stared at.

“What I want…” Seconds passed. “I don’t…know. There is no revenge to seek. No retaliation to address. How do you find answers when you’re the one who created the questions?” I stopped, taking in my words. My thoughts. “I’m the villain…but there’s no bigger evil than what lies inside me.”

“What do you mean? You’re not the villain. What happened to Jett couldn’t have been your fault.”

I didn’t respond as I stepped back, turning for the door. What had I been thinking, coming into work today? I needed to get to Braddock. To Ally. I had to get my mind right. There wasn’t time for me to space out and ponder in philosophical paranoia. And that’s what this was, wasn’t it? A tinge of doubt in the deepest, darkest parts of me? A warning to my ego? A nudge to my mission? Delusions. Delusions. No. The episode would pass once I faced the truth. This was my game, but I had to be aware of the entire picture. I couldn’t do that if I was trapped in these stupid fucking delusions .

“Where are you going?”

I slowed, turning to face Adrian. Where I should have told him I was going home, my words had a life of their own. I felt the addictive pull to continue with my game. I couldn’t stop, even though I knew I should focus on more important things. “It was stupid coming in today. I’m a mess, but I can’t be alone. You have a least a few hours before you have to leave again, right?”

My arm lifted and his worry vanished as he came forward and grabbed my hand. The kiss to my lips held hesitation, but with the way my body softened, he applied more pressure. It was exactly what I needed. Where I’d always held back to a degree, this time I didn’t. Hunger blossomed, growing through my spinning mind.

“I have the day and night. I’ll have to leave in the morning unless you’d like me to stay. I’ll figure out a way to make the time if you need me here with you.”

Reaching up to the back of his neck, I held him just shy of my lips.

“Let’s plan by the minute. I’m in hell. Time doesn’t favor me.”

“Would you like me to make it stop?”

My brows drew in. “Hell, or time?”

“Both. Let’s go to my apartment.”

Adrian didn’t have to elaborate. I nodded, letting him open the office door as I headed through and waited for him to shut it behind us. As I did, I found myself scanning the lobby area ahead. A decent crowd buzzed. Masters dominated the space, grabbing coffee and snacks. Some socialized. Some stared down at their Gardens devices. Sound seemed to grow in volume and colors blurred, overstimulating me even more. I forced it back, finding myself sliding my hand around Adrian’s bicep as he offered me his arm. Any other day, I would have dismissed the offer out of caution. Not today. I held firmly, categorizing my every second while I let him lead us to the elevator. This behavior wasn’t normal for me. Manipulation, yes. Susceptibility outside of my role, never. It was the stress. The continuous failed attempts to get control of the situation. Control over my masterpiece. Fucking Elec.

Two other Masters headed our way to get on the elevator, but my attention wouldn’t leave my calculations surrounding the Main Master. Or Braddock or Jett. Or Adrian or Muriel. The players in my game circled around and around. If I didn’t start making eliminations, I was bound to make even more mistakes. Maybe this stupid episode would continue even longer if I didn’t fix this now.

My hand slid free of his arm as we stepped onto the elevator. I reached for my phone, bringing it up as he pushed the button to his floor. As I punched in the letters to the text, I could feel my pulse pitter-pattering all over the place. My breath came out ragged from the face that flashed in my mind, and I adjusted my shoulders, hitting send. The door opened, and my fast steps had Adrian matching my speed through the lobby. I could see him looking over to check on me, but I kept my attention ahead until we were slipping past his apartment door, and he was closing us inside.

“Who did you text? Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine soon enough.” I scanned the luxuriously furnished apartment, taking in the brown leather sofas. On auction night, they had been an eggshell color and smeared with blood from our heated foreplay. Those were gone now. Neutral shades also replaced a light blue rug, and I sighed as I took in the man who was studying me.

“You redecorated.”

“Light colors were never a good idea for what takes place within these walls.”

A smile started to come but fell. “I guess that would depend. Will you redecorate every time you kill?”

“I don’t usually kill so… impulsively. Honestly, that night is a blur, but only because I was so enamored by you. It was like in those moments we were one. Murder has never been so beautiful. You wear death like silk. It was like it was made for you. I’ll redecorate this apartment a million times if it means we get to share something that true.”

I did smile then, but it was hesitant. Adrian’s words blew through the fog like the strongest hurricane. Momentary clarity had me reassessing my intentions. Had me reassessing him . Her. Which was better for my plans? For the overall picture?

My hand lifted and I double-snapped, watching his lips part as he followed the movement of my finger upward. Even out of my spell, I still had a big part of him, and that was a good sign. Interesting.

“What is your name?”

He blinked hard, slowly lowering his stare back to me. “W-What are you doing?”

My hand lowered, and my heart sang at the tinge of confusion. Slowly, I sat on the sofa. “I had to make sure. You remember a lot about that night. I didn’t expect you to.”

Seconds passed before darkness shadowed his face. Multiple expressions registered, stopping on the one I needed. His stare was weary as he gathered his true thoughts, and I knew this was the real Master. “You…didn’t expect me to remember? Why? Because I should have been more under your influence? Maybe what they say about you is true.” The way his lips peeled back in a cold smile had me swallowing hard through the thrill. Adrian lowered, sitting beside me. “…My name. No. I’m not imagining this.” He cleared his throat. “Are you attempting to brainwash me, Melissa? My name?” His head shook as he battled the mental implants I’d already set in stone. “Has that been your goal all along?”

“I didn’t take you as a man who listened to gossip.”

“I’d be a fool not to. Is that what you’re trying to do?”

I met his eyes. Really met his stare head-on. His breath hitched, and my power over him somewhat reinstated. I snapped at the certainty, taking it away, letting him feel as if he had some form of control. Fool.

“There’s no trying. If I wanted to take your existence, I could.”

“My existence.” He laughed but his tone softened. “Those are bold claims. Could you, really? If you could, why haven’t you?”

Was that a tinge of longing in those tight-lipped questions? I couldn’t be wrong. My prize was ahead. He was affected permanently now. That didn’t mean I was safe. I looked up through my lashes, purposefully shifting his mood despite the danger I flirted with from my questions. “Who says I haven’t already?”

“So, you’re not denying the rumors?”

“All rumors hold truth, but the truth isn’t always so cut and dry. I thought you brought me here to console me? I’m not feeling very supported. I feel attacked.”

“Guilt will do that to people.”

“You’re trying to fight this so hard, but you’re finished fighting . So am I. I don’t have time for men who play games.” I double-snapped, taking him completely back under my control. My twisted damsel returned and with it…victory. “All you’re doing is attacking me, Adrian Thomas Bulvere . Do you know what sort of men do that?” I moved my face within inches of his. Just saying his name in my sad, soft tone had his lids growing heavier. “Men with no real motive for commitment. Those are the ones who emotionally hurt people. Assholes who show their true colors when their trust issues are triggered. I thought you were different.” My gaze went from one eye to the other, dropping to his lips before I projected innocence through my stare. The action had his eyes rolling as he tried to keep contact. “I see I was wrong about you, Master . I should go.”

“Whoa. …Whoa. Wait a minute.” Delayed, he grabbed my shoulder. The moment he touched, I scooted the smallest amount to the edge of the sofa, allowing him to adjust. “We’re just talking. I’m asking you questions. I…just want honesty.”

“Is that what you want? Is that all you want?”

He was blinking again, trying to process not just my questions but the verbal and physical hooks I kept implanting. He was deep under before. Not good enough. I wanted him mine more than anyone had ever been. I wanted to melt his mind of everything but needing me.

“No. I want more than that. I want this to work. I want us .” His words were slow. “…But I can’t have you messing with me.”

“Let this sink in. I was holding to your arm in front of everyone minutes ago. Holding, Adrian . Do you know what that symbolizes? Can you imagine what they must think? But you think I’m messing with you. My son ?—”

A finger rose to my lips, the motion faster. My spell was setting in and being accepted.

“I was out of line. I…see that. I verbally attacked you, and I should have just asked when I first heard.”

I moved back from his touch, clicking my tongue as I shook my head. His body tensed from the hook, only to soften and lean more towards me. “Yes, you should have. I should go.”

“ Don’t go. Forget what I said.” He scooted me down the leather, gripping just above my knees as the top half of his body hovered nearly on top of me. “Stay with me.”

“Stay?” Lifting my hand, I placed it on his chest, keeping contact with his stare. His lids were so heavy, and I knew I had him more than ever. Maybe too much with how many cues I’d instilled, but it didn’t stop me from patting directly over his heart.

“You really want me to stay? Even thinking I’m such a horrible person? I could have you under my spell right now. Doesn’t that scare you?”

Silence. He scanned my eyes, going back and forth.

“I want you to stay. …I’m not scared. I’m fine. I’m good.”

“Are you sure?” More, I patted. “I’d hate to have to have this argument again. I just don’t think I can bear it with everything going on. If you don’t trust me and want us to be over with, now is the time to tell me.”

“Melissa.”

My lips parted, waiting. Waiting. When Adrian met them with his, I almost couldn’t withhold my smile. His tongue pushed into mine, and I dug my fingers into the hard muscle of his pec. Could I hold his heart in my hand if I just kept squeezing? If I tore my way inside?

“I want you…to stay.”

“I think you had it right the first time. You want me .”

“Fuck, I do. I fucking want you more than anything.”

“Show me.”

My head reared back, avoiding Adrian as he swept in for a kiss.

“Your cock,” I said, huskily. “Show me proof of your ‘want’.”

There was a slight hesitation before Adrian nodded. He stood, shrugging out of his suit’s jacket and letting it fall to the floor. When he began unfastening his belt, I could feel myself scooting to the edge of the sofa.

“You have no idea how often I’ve dreamed of this. How much I think of it. Melissa—God, I want you.”

Metal clinked, and he tugged at the button, unzipping the slacks. My stare went up meeting his, and he moaned, reaching in and withdrawing his hard length. I didn’t look at what was just outside of my lips. I stuck out my tongue, watching his pained, pleasure-filled expression as he traced the head of his tip over the wetness.

“Fuck. Oh fuck .”

Precum was slick, coating along the surface. I swallowed, reaching to hold one of his thighs as I took his thick cock in my grasp. Still, I didn’t break eye contact. My lips parted and I swirled my tongue around the head. Adrian pushed his fingers through my hair, not leading me forward, but holding on as I began taking him into my mouth.

“You’re all I ever think about. You’ve become my life. My every thought.”

Adding suction, I sucked him in deeper. The sensation, the taste, the act, sent a calming through me like a drug. My heart rate decreased. My breathing slowed. Even the tension left my body as I lost myself in the movements of bringing his cock to the back of my throat. Time passed and plans magically eased into place. I was so trapped within, I barely heard the soft knock at the door. It was Adrian’s threatening tone that tore me from the blissful nothingness back to reality.

“Who the hell is that?”

I released his cock to ease to my feet. I didn’t move. I couldn’t as my actions filtered back through.

“It’s for me. I texted my slave on our way up. Go to the bedroom and wait for me.”

My words were soft to my ears at the thought of her. Fragile? I sounded so far away as I peered up to Adrian’s lustful eyes.

“I’ll be waiting.” He turned to leave, stopping to look at me over his shoulder. “Undressed. Is that alright?”

I nodded, watching a hint of a smile appear before he headed into the bedroom. Only when the door shut did I head for the front door. When I pulled it open, Muriel shifted, the nervousness clear as she glanced up.

“You needed me, Mistress?”

“Yes, come in.”

Dark hair was pulled back from her face. I couldn’t help but take in the pale blue dress, vibrant against the softness of her neck. The area called to me. My gaze lingered, wishing it was her neck I was burying my face in. But I wouldn’t do that anymore. I wouldn’t take comfort in a woman who clearly thought bad things about me. And she must, given the expression she’d worn over Jett. Nothing I did could erase the shock and disgust from my mind. She thought I was a bad mother. A bad person. My father had thought I was bad too. She couldn’t be trusted anymore. I did my duties. My children had had it all . It wasn’t my fault if they made bad decisions. I hadn’t ordered them. They were adults now.

“I will not be home tonight. I guess I have you to thank for that.”

“Melissa. Mistress?—”

My hand shot up. “I haven’t been able to look at you for days, I expect others to think badly of me. They’re jealous. They can’t help themselves. But my own companion? My own slave . You’ve known your importance from the beginning. I chose you, and you chose me. To follow. To take care of. You know the rules. Obey. Submit. You signed the contract. You agreed. You should be a mirror of me after all these years. A piece of me .” My head shook. “I now see that can’t be true because you didn’t choose me. You picked him. A troublemaker. An embarrassment.”

“He’s your son.” Her lip trembled. “He is part of you. I am part of you. I love you . I love him because of you.”

Muriel surged forward, grabbing my hands as she fell to her knees at my feet.

“I love you. All parts. All ways. All the time.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, and a sob escaped. “Don’t you see? I only didn’t want you to hurt.”

“Hurt? How? He hurts me . You know that. You’ve seen it. And now, they’ll say what you clearly thought. That I’m a bad mother. That I couldn’t even raise a child right. After this, the rumors over the LaRoe name may never die. But he will. And maybe you will too. You don’t love me. You’re only saying you do because I saw the truth. Maybe you’ve been using me the entire time to try to get to my son. You’re not that much older than him. Less than ten years. Maybe I’ve been the fool.”

“What? No .” Her head shook back and forth. “You can’t seriously think that. I’d never—I don’t even like him! You’re taking all of this the wrong way.”

“The only thing that’s wrong is the time I’ve wasted thinking you were different. I should have known not to trust you. The repulsion you showed?—”

“Not repulsion. Mistress, please. It was shock at the situation. It was fear that losing your son would destroy you. You told me in the room, if you wanted Jett killed, you’d possibly make me do it. Tell me. Order me,” she begged. “I don’t care about Jett. It’s you. It’s always been you.”

I didn’t have to snap or click to know Muriel was telling the truth. I could see it in her glassy eyes as she tried to hold in the sobs that so clearly came with her panic.

“Is everything okay?”

I glanced to Adrian in the bedroom doorway, but Muriel’s gaze never left me.

“You said you loved me?”

Hands wrapped around my calves, and her face came to rest inches above my knees as she bent forward, leaning her forehead against me.

“Mistress, you have to know I do.”

“I brought you here to die.”

A sob. Tighter, she held on. “I don’t want to leave you. Melissa, please.”

My stare lifted back to Adrian, despite my fingers curled around the crown of Muriel’s head. Arousal had my breath deepening, and with it, I reached for her ponytail, fisting it as I squeezed and pushed her face harder into me. Still, I stared at Adrian. But it wasn’t him I spoke to.

“I’m so angry at you. I can’t trust you.”

“You can,” she rushed out, muffled.

I jerked her head back, and my lids narrowed as I took in Adrian’s shirtless body. He still wore his pants, but they were unbuttoned and unzipped. Had Muriel not sobbed, I probably would have gotten lost soaking in the angled lines lowering to the one thing I suddenly wanted. Adrian’s body was perfection. His cock…just what I needed.

“You say I can trust you?”

“Anything, Mistress. Please.”

My stare dropped to take in golden, bloodshot eyes. My mind was slowing again. Instinct was kicking in. Or was that self-destruction? Need?

“For the record, I don’t trust you. I’ll never trust you again. And although trained, I’ve never had to use my gifts on you. I hate that I have to use them now.” I snapped twice in quick succession, clicking my tongue, only to snap again. “Tonight, all you see is me. All you want… is me . You don’t touch Adrian. You don’t want him. This isn’t about him. Who is this about?”

Muriel’s lips were parted, and her eyes blinked slowly. “You, Mistress. Only you.”

“That’s right. Stand.”

I let go of her, walking towards Adrian. “I don’t need to tell you who to see. I am your obsession. Your very pulse beats for me.” I slowed at the approach, stopping to run my finger down one side of the V of his lower stomach. “Do you feel it? The contracting? Do you feel me in your chest?” My hand lowered over his slacks, cupping his hard cock through the material.

“I feel you. Melissa.” He moaned, moving in closer.

“That’s right. Me. Only me. Pretend my slave’s not even here. You’re both going to give me every ounce of the pleasure I deserve. We’ll see who loves me more in the end.”