23. Kai

Chapter twenty-three

Kai

L ea’s pink cheeks and wide smile lit up all night as we sat in a large conference room, handing out donated gifts to the kids here for the hospital.

My heart aches to know that many of them are here without their parents for the holidays. This hospital is a well-known children’s cancer center, and wanting their kids to have the best shot at recovery, there are things these parents have had to compromise on as a result.

Growing up with a mom who could never hold down a job because of her mental illness, and what I thought was an absentee father who skipped out on his family, I know just a taste of what some of these kids must be feeling.

I learned that there’s at least a handful whose parents tried to stay as long as they could. Without a job and the new year bringing with it a fresh start to their insurance deductibles, it just wasn’t possible to be here, especially not in New York, where it’s disgustingly expensive this time of year.

Lea claps her hands excitedly after she puts the book down that she’d been reading to the kids, and when I look out across the room, I can tell they’re all as enraptured with her as I am.

Lea is stunning. No matter what she’s wearing or how messy her hair is, she’s got this way of lighting up a whole damn room, and I have no idea how I’ve gone this long without fully appreciating that.

The kids continue to clap as Lea grasps my hand in hers, squeezing gently. Her bright-white teeth gleam under the harsh fluorescence, that one slightly crooked canine of hers standing out among her other, perfectly straight teeth.

My heart hammers in my chest, and my pulse climbs as realization starts to hit me. Before I can even think ofthe words, Jaclyn, the nurse manager who coordinated this evening, approaches us with a large smile.

“Hey, guys, thanks again for doing this! The kids really seemed to enjoy themselves,” she says happily.

“No problem at all,” I say, looking over to Lea. “It was actually pretty fun.”

“I had a great time,” Lea tells her.

Jaclyn presses her lips together, squinting one eye and shrugging her shoulders in a mixture of guilt and nerves. “Would you guys mind making just a couple more stops before you head out for the night? A few of the really sick kids weren’t able to make it out here due to precautions their providers have had to set in place because of their immunocompromised status, but we don’t want them to miss out entirely,” she explains.

“Oh my gosh, of course not!” Lea tells her, standing abruptly and dragging me with her as she grasps my hand in hers.

Jaclyn blows out a sigh, her shoulders relaxing. “Really?” she asks, hope lacing her words. “You two are incredible,” she tells us. But she’s wrong. Lea is incredible, and I’m just trying to catch up so I can be worthy of her one day.