2. Mylo

2

Mylo

“I told you it wouldn’t work out.” Delilah clicks her tongue as she looks at my poor attempt at building one of these houses. “Now the icing is all melted and practically useless. You have to let the gingerbread cool before trying to assemble.”

I grunt my response, earning myself an eye roll. Deeming me useless, I’m left to my own devices as she rolls out more pieces.

If I thought my headspace was dangerous before, nothing comes in comparison to the thoughts creeping inside now that Cassidy has made her surprise appearance.

Well, not a surprise. Both Delilah and Henry warned me about their daughter’s return. However, I was expecting to see an old face. The sort that would get all teary-eyed the moment something didn’t work out. The snot-nosed kid I’d tease because of how little it took to get a reaction.

I can’t say I recognized the woman who strolled in here, nose and cheeks red from the chilly weather. Can’t say I recognized the sensation that rolled through me when she was in my arms, either.

My failed attempt at constructing a building remains flat on the table as I continue staring toward that opening. A part of me wishes Cassidy would come strolling back already just so I can make sure my eyes are working correctly. Hell, I’m old as hell in comparison. Maybe my eyes are going out.

These last few months, my thoughts have been dangerous. Enough to make Henry go out of his way to drag me to his home, demanding I stay with them through the holidays. Poor guy is probably thinking I’m a man standing on the edge of a building, debating on taking a step forward or backward. Maybe he’s right.

But now, I don’t have room to think about my situation. Not when I have even more lethal thoughts pouring in.

Thoughts that would make Henry bloody my nose if he discovered what was stirring up in my chest. Fuck me, even I can see it’s wrong.

I shake my head as if the motion can help physically fling the thoughts out of my mind. Remembering that Cassidy is nothing more than Bug to me, I straighten up in my seat and pick up the different pieces. Noticing the way the corners are softening because of the puddle of melted icing, my brows furrow as I attempt to restart this process.

Once my workspace is cleaned up and I’ve got a new pile of fluffy icing ready to be used as glue, my brows furrow as I focus on making the two pieces stick.

As of late, everything around me has felt like it’s been crumbling. Right now, I’m determined to make two things come together without falling apart. I have to, for my sanity. Even if it’s based on something as stupid as one of these gingerbread houses.

Delilah can swing tips my way as much as she wants, but I want to do this on my own. Paint it as a way to prove to myself that I’m not completely hopeless.

Somehow, I get all four walls together without collapsing the entirety of the building. Just when I pick up the little spatula to start applying some foundation, I smell the same hints of vanilla bean that filled my system when I hugged Cassidy the first time. She’s returned, chewing on her lip as she sits across from me.

Most of her attention is on her phone. Her thumb swipes as she busies herself with whatever has caught her attention. Can she feel my eyes on her? Is that why she hesitantly looks in my direction?

She’s got a familiar look in those honey-colored eyes, one that hints at being kicked around by life. Can’t say I’ve heard much about her, not really. Sure, I might’ve been told about a promotion, her finding a new apartment, or whatever exciting things her parents can come up with, but nothing that’s stuck out like a sore thumb. No mentions of a boyfriend or husband, that’s for sure.

Maybe I wasn’t listening closely enough. Maybe I should’ve been.

“I’m sure you’ve been busy,” I start up with the need to fill the silence with something other than the third repeat of Mariah Carey’s most popular Christmas hit. “Must miss Florida by now.”

I know that much. Cassidy left all this shitty weather behind to live in a state that’s known to be warm all year around. Hell, the tan on her body is enough proof of her stay in the sunny state.

She shrugs a shoulder, her nose scrunching. “Not really.”

I’ve hit a hard stop. She won’t even look my way. Maybe an occasional glance to check up on my progress. Makes me think I’ve done something wrong. In the twenty minutes she’s been here, I can’t possibly see what I could’ve done to upset her. Unless she’s taking offense to my skills in building, I think I’d much rather her laugh at me instead.

Doing what I do best, I don’t give up. I keep opening my mouth, probably when I shouldn’t. Delilah should look into changing the radio station to give my sanity a little break.

I look at her fingers as she continues swiping. After all these years away, I’m a bit surprised to see her finger without a ring. How in the world did she manage so long without snagging someone?

“I bet Henry is hoping you’d have dragged someone here with you. A boyfriend or husband.” Unable to help myself, my curiosities win over. I refuse to believe she’s single. Men must be fighting over for her attention. Hell, I keep speaking just so she doesn’t return her eyes to the device in her hands.

I’m caught off guard by how instantly her cheeks change color. A pink flush crawls across her face and she fumbles with the device. Tinkering with her phone, she chews on her lip. “I guess I’m going to disappoint him then.”

This knot in my chest grows bigger, replaced by the oddest satisfaction. She’s single and available. The fact shouldn’t give me ideas. No, not any at all.

I’m here to get over my failed marriage. There’s no way in hell I’m going to get over my ex-wife by entertaining the thought of getting under another woman. Not any of them, especially not the daughter of a man I grew up with.

My resolution crumbles when she looks my way once more. Those brown eyes look so vulnerable, so exposed. Then she opens those plump lips and makes it much easier to think.

“I’m surprised I haven’t seen Natalie yet. Where has she run off to?” Almost like she expects my ex-wife to pop out of thin air, she looks around. She must notice Delilah’s grimace as quickly as I do.

They didn’t tell Cassidy the reason behind my stay and probably didn’t even warn her that I was here to begin with. Just the same as they held back on me about her arrival. They’re both terrible at giving a heads-up.

My house collapses as I press the second slab of the roof with too much force. Enough to crack the damn thing into two pieces. Delilah doesn’t scold me about what I should’ve done. The pity behind her gaze is more than enough.

“She’s no longer in the picture.” Leaving it at that, I come to the decision that I am no longer interested in building houses. Instead, I think I might need a little fresh air.

It’ll give Delilah enough time to catch Cassidy up on everything without taking the risk of reminding me of the past.

“Going to take a smoke break.” Excusing myself from both women, I escape to the front door before Delilah can shoot an apologetic expression in my direction. Grabbing my jacket from the hook, I’m momentarily distracted by the scarf on top. Discovering how soft it is, I realize how hard it’s going to be to get away from the sweet vanilla smell.

A moment of weakness passes through me as I brush my thumb against it. However, hearing Natalie’s name again through their shared whispers helps me move it onto another hook so I can pull my jacket off to throw it over my shoulders.

The cold air nips at my cheeks the moment I’m outside. Strolling over to the swinging seat, a visible puff of air flows out of me when a sigh rolls off my tongue. I’ve been doing that a lot–sighing. As if all my troubles can escape me one exhale at a time, sighing has turned into a habit.

When did I turn into such a pessimist? Was it before or after I realized my marriage was failing? Had to be before. Right around that time when I found the first receipt for a hotel I’d never been to in my life. Back when I started having trust issues.

Dusting the light layer of snow off the seat, I plop down and pull out the crumpled pack from my pocket. With only five remaining, I consider asking Henry to pick up another pack while he’s out and about. Needing one to help calm the storm raging in my head, I pluck it out and curse when my lighter doesn’t want to work after the first three strikes.

After enough attempts to make me dig my fingers through my hair, I’m finally taking in a lungful while sitting back. I have the view of snow falling to keep me company. Second prettiest thing I’ve seen today.

My cigarette lasts me five peaceful minutes. Even after I’ve stubbed it out, I’m not sure I’m ready to go back inside. Not yet.

Ever since I came here, I’ve been pitied by the two I consider my closest friends. I don’t think I’m ready to invite a third to this party. Not when I don’t trust the way my thoughts are forming when I take in Cassidy’s changes.

There’s no way in hell I’m ready to welcome any thoughts of lust or needs. Whatever strings that young woman is plucking, I know I’m only kidding myself. My heart isn’t ready for another round, not with any woman.

I think I’m done with love, actually. Yeah, I’m fed up with it. Never again.

The front door opens after a few more minutes and I see those wavy brown strands catching flakes as soon as Cassidy takes a step outside. Looking around, she spots me and smiles.

Ah, shit. So much for my peace.

“Can I sit?” Reaching me in all but a handful of steps, her eyes fall to the vacant space to my left.

While I could always tell her no and enjoy another one from my pack, I chose to swipe her seat free of snow so she could settle next to me. Her body shivers, of course, it does. That sweater isn’t doing her any justice. Her body shifts a little closer, seeking to soak up some heat.

Neither of us speaks, not at first. A gust of wind knocks some snow off the roof, crashing against the few plastic candy canes shoved into the ground. She plucks at her sweater, pulling at a loose strand while rolling it between her fingers. The way her lips purse, I can tell she’s trying to pick her words carefully.

Everyone always does. It’s like there is a layer of thin ice surrounding me and no one wants to risk falling through by getting close. I’ve lost count of how many times someone has used the phrase “it’s not your fault” on me. Hell, some even insulted Natalie to my face like what love I did have for her over the years meant squat. Am I ready to hear such things again?

“I lost my apartment,” she blurts, saying something so out of left field that I jerk to look at her. “I haven’t told my parents, but I get it.” She doesn’t meet my gaze. “You lost your house in the divorce. I lost my apartment because my boss was a prick. We’re both a bit homeless right now.”

Grunting in agreement, I try not to stare at her for too long. For just a moment, I don’t think about my shitty circumstances. Instead, I can worry a little about Cassidy.

It’s a pleasant little distraction. She doesn’t seem in any rush to throw Natalie’s name in my direction.

“So, you plan on sticking around town?” Without realizing it, I’m holding my breath. Exhaling once one shoulder lifts to shrug, I nod.

After I told Henry I wanted to get out of this town and leave everything behind, he immediately demanded I lean on them for support. Hell, he caught me looking at some of the cabins for sale up on the mountain only a couple of days ago. Can’t spend the holidays alone, that’s too much to ask for. He insisted I experience all these traditions they go through every year.

From the sound of it, we both need to get away. Seeing as she left this place once before, how much time will pass before she gets the urge to run away again?

“Let’s make the most out of the holidays.” She looks my way and gives me a smile that plucks at those same strings again. “Two weeks of distractions, and then we can both figure out what we’re going to do.”

There’s something different about hearing her say the words that feel different than when it came out of her parents. It’s like she needs a little convincing too, only partially believing her words.

Sure. I’ll meet her halfway. I’ll shove whatever this is trying to crawl its way through my body and put my focus on helping us both get through this rough patch.