Chapter 44

44

E lias

My smile had been a permanent fixture all day. Amanda asked me to list her home for sale. She was going to keep the penthouse apartment, and that worked in my favor, too, because when our parents had EJ on breaks and weekends, it was convenient for us to be there instead. While she hadn’t straight up said she was moving in with me, that was basically what had happened.

When we got back together, I told her I wanted her to stay, and she hadn’t left since. Her taking the initiative increased my confidence in us, and I’d been thinking of ways I could reward her for the commitment. It was one thing for her to say she wanted to be with me and would be faithful and dedicated to putting forth the effort to make us work, but when she showed it, it made me love and respect her a little more.

I was also in good spirits because our parents had gotten together over the weekend. EJ wanted to go look at Christmas lights and sing carols and shit, and I loved the innocence of his request. Sometimes, it felt like he was growing up so fast, so when he wanted to do stuff like that, I valued every moment with my little man.

Our parents got along well, and Tammy had been on her best behavior. Not once did she say anything to make her daughter uncomfortable or me upset. There were a couple of times where I literally felt her struggling to hold her words in, and it was comical, but she gained my respect.

Neko and Mally Mal were coming back for the Christmas auction in two days and would stay until the day after Christmas. Then, they wouldn’t be back until February or March. I was excited to see them both again and to get to hang out one on one with my brother. When he came back for Thanksgiving, his time was limited because they had quick flights back. This time, we’d be able to not only spend time with family and the crew but just each other to do our own thing and catch up.

All in all, life was perfect, and there wasn’t a thing about it I would change. Well, except getting Amanda pregnant again. Now that we were together, though, I could wait a little while longer for my baby.

“I think I’m pregnant,” Fiona said, twiddling with her thumbs. When she asked if she could meet me at the office, I figured she was going to try to apologize for her father’s behavior again. The last thing I expected was for her to say that shit.

My legs opened and closed and head tilted as I stared at her. “You think…or you know?”

“I think. Well, I took some home tests, and they came back positive, but I have an appointment this afternoon to confirm.” She squeezed the back of her neck. “I was wondering if you could come with me.”

It was no secret that I wanted a baby when we started dating. Hell, that was why I was dating to begin with. Even with that being the case, I strapped up every time. I knew there was a chance she could still get pregnant, even with us using a condom, but I was still shocked by hearing her actually say the words.

“Uh…yeah.” Clearing my throat, I sat up in my seat. “I can clear my schedule for the rest of the afternoon and take you. Can you…wait outside for a moment? I need to call Amanda and let her know what’s up.”

Fiona didn’t move right away. She stared at me with her mouth partially opened.

“You’re going to tell her already?”

My fingers ran down the corners of my mouth. “I don’t keep anything from her. She’s going to be my wife. Besides, if I go to this appointment with you, and someone she knows sees me and tells her, she’s going to kill both of us.”

Her head lowered as she laughed. “I guess you’re right about that. I just figured you’d want to get the results first.”

“How many tests did you take?”

“Three.”

“And they all came back positive?” She nodded. “Then it’s probably safe to say you’re pregnant, Fiona.”

She continued to fidget with her fingers as her leg shook. For her to have wanted a baby just as much as I did, she certainly didn’t look excited. I was sure I didn’t either. The timing couldn’t be worse. I wasn’t sure how Mandy was going to respond. We’d really come a long way, and I didn’t want this to pull us apart.

“How do you feel?” I asked, needing to check her temperature.

Fiona shrugged and finally returned her eyes to mine. “Conflicted. I want to be happy, but this is not how I wanted this to happen.”

“Yeah, I feel the exact same way. I know we talked about our desire for children, but I wanted to have my next child either while engaged or married.”

“I know,” she muttered. “I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve been bringing you drama since I told you how I felt about you.”

“Not really. We had some good times. I just wish you would have been honest from the beginning. It would have changed a lot, but at least I would have been aware, and we were on the same page.”

“Well…I’ll um…head out so you can call her. I really am sorry, Elias.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” I assured her, softening my voice. I gave her a smile, but I was sure it didn’t reach my eyes. Was I happy about the baby? Of course, and I’d take care of them just like I did EJ, but I wouldn’t lie and say I was happy Fiona was carrying my child. We weren’t together anymore, I didn’t trust her, and I wasn’t looking forward to being around her family.

Declan’s slick ass mouth was likely to get him kicked in it, and I would hate for things to come to that. I could hear him now talking shit about her being pregnant with a black man’s baby, and he’d receive no grace when it came to disrespecting my child. That baby would grow up without two grandfathers before I allowed that.

When she was out of my office, I cursed silently as I stood and began to pace. It took great strength to keep from knocking shit off my desk and punching the wall. How could I be grateful for the baby I wanted with them coming this way? I wanted to blame myself and say this wouldn’t be my situation if I wasn’t fucking Fiona, but damn. A nigga used condoms and still got caught up. Maybe this baby was fate.

Once I’d calmed down some, I called Amanda. She answered with a smile in her voice, and that shit made my heart ache.

“I don’t know how to really say this, bae,” I said.

“Then just say it.”

“Fiona is up here. She said she’s pregnant and wants me to go to the appointment with her this afternoon to confirm.”

The silence. I held my breath, waiting in the silence. It felt like it would never end. When a sound came, it wasn’t words. It was a shaky, hard breath.

“I guess congratulations are in order. You got the baby you wanted.”

My eyes closed as I clutched my chest. It felt like my heart was constricting. Even if I was happy about the baby, I would never want my child to cause her pain.

“We used condoms,” I felt the need to say. “I wasn’t trying to get her pregnant.” She scoffed. “I know I said I wanted a baby, and that was the whole reason for me dating, but I was still being careful about it.”

“It doesn’t matter now, Elias.” Though her voice was calm, I heard the irritation lacing it. “Just…go to the appointment. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Are you upset?” My eyes squeezed shut, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. Of course she was upset.

“Yes,” she admitted, voice quivering. “I know how much you wanted a baby. Even with us getting back together, I still have to watch another woman give him or her to you.”

Leaning against my desk, I looked out into the dreary sky. “Regardless, you’re my first, and you’ll be my last. The first and last mother of my children and my one and only wife. I know that doesn’t erase this, but I hope you know it doesn’t change you and EJ’s place in my heart, life, and priority.”

“I know, baby,” she mumbled. “But I needed to hear you say that.”

“I’ll tell you every day if I have to. We’re gonna make this work, okay? And I promise, neither you nor our son will feel a lack because of this.”

“Alright,” she agreed sadly. “I’ll talk to you later, E.”

“Aig—”

Before I could even finish, she hung up, and I couldn’t even blame her.

“Fuck!” I roared before charging out of the office.

When I walked into the house, it was eerily quiet. I found EJ in his bedroom taking a nap, which didn’t surprise me. The last several days had been more active for him, which was why he wanted to stay home instead of going to either of his grandparents’ houses.

Amanda wasn’t in the bedroom or the room she used to dance and work out in. I checked the office, and she wasn’t there either. Something told me to go back outside, and I saw her in the back of her SUV. Clenching my jaw, I shook my head as I walked over and opened the door. She was smoking and listening to BigXthaPlug.

“Hey.” I spoke, not wanting to get in immediately.

“Hey.” When she patted the seat, I got inside. “How’d it go?”

“She’s not pregnant.” Her eyes widened as she turned slightly to face me. “Apparently, she has thyroids, or some hormonal shit, and the imbalance made her have a false positive. She was so adamant about making sure I believed she wasn’t lying to me again that she took another home test while we were there, which came out positive, even though the one her doctor did was negative.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of that. The female body is truly a wonder.”

My head bobbed once as I accepted the blunt. “How do you feel?”

“You first.”

Smiling, I lifted the blunt to my lips. “Relieved that she’s not pregnant but also sad. I’m glad we have the chance to do this right, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Straddling my waist, she wrapped her arms around my neck. “I know you wanted a baby, and I’m sure, even with you and her being done, a part of you was happy. I’m sorry, baby.”

My hands slid up and down her back before gripping her waist. I didn’t respond immediately. Instead, we shot gunned and passed the blunt until it was gone.

“Today made me realize just how important it is to me that we do this right. You’re the only woman I want as the mother of my children, and I really want you to be my wife. I know we just got back together, but this scare gave me more urgency when it comes to our future.”

“What does that mean?” she asked quietly with a smile.

“It means, next year, me and EJ won’t be the only ones in this house to have my last name.” She played with the collar of my shirt like she always did when she felt shy. “How does that sound?”

“It sounds good,” she cooed, moaning and giggling when I leaned forward and kissed all over her neck.

What she’d said was true. I was happy and sad about the baby. Now that I knew there wasn’t one, I was relieved and hopeful that she and I could add to our family soon…and the right way. But even with that desire, it was important to me that I gave her space to step into her purpose with The Masterpiece Mission. So even if it didn’t happen next year, just knowing it would happen eventually was enough to give me peace.

The Christmas Auction

As I expected, with Fiona’s connections, this year’s auction pulled in the highest profit in N.E. Art history. To thank her, I planned to gift her with flowers and three gift cards to her favorite designer stores. I didn’t think we needed to see each other in person, and since Neko and I were writing the gifts off as business expenses, we were going to use our courier service to deliver it to her right after Christmas.

My eyes scanned the room as Neko announced the ninth recipient of the business scholarship. As soon as they landed on Amanda, I smiled. She looked stunning in a formfitting gold dress that made her look like royalty. Her hair was pulled up into a curly bun, and spirally pieces of hair framed her neck and face. I didn’t think I’d ever seen her look as beautiful as she did tonight.

“And the final recipient of the inaugural N.E. Art business scholarship is…” Neko said, pausing for dramatic effect. “Oh wait. I can’t read the name on this.”

I leaned forward to look, knowing who it was already. Gripping the mic, I took the card and studied it for a few seconds.

“I know who that is,” I said, looking at my brother.

“Who?”

“The woman who stole my heart the moment we met. The woman who blessed me with my son. The woman who will soon be my wife. The founder of The Masterpiece Mission…Ms. Amanda Renae Jones!”

When the red drape was pulled off the large paper check, Amanda dropped her champagne flute. Her hands lifted to her opened mouth and covered it as her body swayed. Everyone else had gotten one hundred thousand dollars, but she got five. Who was gon’ check me?

“Congratulations, sis!” Neko cheered, lifting his glass.

As everyone around her clapped, Amanda’s head shook as her tears fell. Fred, her father, helped her take small steps toward the stage, while Tammy looked on and wiped her own tears. Their relationship was still a work in progress, but Tammy had been intentional with the words she used when talking to her daughter, and that was the only reason I told her she could come tonight. If I felt like anyone was going to rain on my baby’s parade, I wasn’t going to let them in, and I didn’t give a fuck who it was.

Her hand trembled as she put it in mine.

“Congratulations, bae. I told you this is only the beginning.”

“Thank you.” She sobbed. “Thank you both. OMG, I’m so happy!”

Her laugh mixed with continuously flowing tears as we hugged. We waited until she was composed to take a picture of the check. When we were done, the party continued, but we slipped out the back so we could have a private celebration of our own…