Chapter 1

1

E lias

A Few Months Later

Mid-August

This was where my dates always went left. We would talk about kids, I’d tell them about my son, and they would ask about the relationship I had with his mother. Depending on the woman, that would determine how frank I was with the truth. The truth that Amanda and I were still sexually active.

If my date was reserved and shy, I would tell them we were close and intimate. If our conversation and connection was rawer, I told them we were still having sex. It didn’t matter if I tried to explain the reasons and that we didn’t have sex when I was in a committed relationship, most women didn’t want to be with a man they felt would come with baby mama drama.

If they didn’t care about my relationship with Amanda, it was either because they figured all men cheated or didn’t plan to have a serious relationship with me anyway. Most times, I let them think whatever they wanted. It wasn’t my responsibility to try to convince a person I’d just met I was telling the truth. My honesty and integrity showed in my transparency. If she couldn’t see that, she wasn’t the one for me.

Even with me knowing that truth, it was still frustrating. Most of the women I was actually interested in would ask this question by the third date, and by the third date, things between us would be over.

I saw the moment Ariel’s chest deflated. Her head tilted and she inhaled a slow, deep breath. I was about to tell her that Amanda and I weren’t in love, and we would stop having sex if things between us got serious, but instead, I let her lead. When she squeezed the back of her neck, I chuckled and sat up in my seat. With a slight bob of my head, I made my eye contact with our waitress and let her know she could bring the check.

“How do you feel about that, Ariel?”

Her eyes met mine for a brief moment. Between her putting up an invisible wall between us and not being able to look into my eyes, that was all the confirmation I needed. Up until now, she’d been smiling and maintaining eye contact the whole date.

“I’m not really comfortable with you still having sex with her, Elias. That’s kind of why I don’t usually date men with kids.”

“I can respect that,” I said with a nod.

She finally looked at me for more than a second. “You’re not going to try to convince me that there are no feelings involved, and I’d have nothing to worry about?”

That made me chuckle. “Most men who cheat with their baby mama lie about it.” She nodded her agreement. “I was upfront with you. I can tell you if you and I were to get serious that I’d cut her off…but I doubt if you’d actually believe that.”

“True. I’d probably end up being paranoid and getting out of character because I didn’t believe you.”

“And I respect that. I wouldn’t want to do anything to make you feel like you can’t trust your intuition or me. So…as much as I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, I’m okay with things ending here.”

The waitress set our check on the table, and I swiftly grabbed it and pulled my wallet out. This whole dating thing was getting played out. I knew the solution was to simply stop letting my baby mama make me cum, but that was easier said than done. I left the waitress a hefty tip, so there was no need to wait for change.

After helping Ariel out of her seat, I led her out of the restaurant with my hand on the small of her back. She smelled good—like jasmine and some other floral shit. I loved the smell of jasmine on certain women, which was what made me approach her at the mall last month. Mixed with the right pheromones, that shit made my dick hard and kept me pressed against a woman’s soft frame.

I was glad we took separate cars because I had one destination in mind, and I wanted to get there quickly. Once Ariel was safely in her Nissan, I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and told her to be safe before heading to my Jeep. Between it, my Porsche Taycan, Aston Martin DBS, and the town car I had a driver for on the weekends, the Jeep was the casual car I used when I wanted to drive and keep a low profile. Rose Valley Hills was filled with wealth, and pulling up chauffeured or in the Porsche or Aston Martin in certain areas was like a green light for people to want to talk and network.

With my businesses, I was usually all for networking, but when I was on a date, I wanted my focus to remain on the woman I was with. Instead of calling Amanda to see where she was, I checked her location. Surprised that she was at home, I headed that way. I figured she was either getting ready to go out or was going to have her girls come to her tonight.

Amanda lived for a good time, and with how hard she worked, she deserved it. Like me, she had a traditional home where she raised our son every other week on our split schedule, but she also had a penthouse apartment downtown that she stayed in on weekends and breaks when our parents had EJ. It fit her personality, and the location was perfect for her to enjoy herself on the beach or downtown without having to worry about the forty-minute drive back to her home.

It took me about seven minutes to get to her apartment. Since she wasn’t expecting me, I had to check in with the doorman. He was used to my visits by now, so all I had to do was sign in before he let me up. By the time I made it to her floor, my emotions were all over the place. I felt at peace to be close to my baby mama, but I was frustrated because I’d just finished another failed date because of her. Well, it wasn’t her fault, but it was easier to blame her for having bomb ass pussy than myself for not being able to let her go.

I knocked instead of letting myself in since I didn’t know who all was inside. Shortly after, she was opening the door looking good as fuck, as usual. Amanda hardly ever covered herself unless our son and his friends were around. Tonight, the boy shorts she had on showed half of her fat ass cheeks. She had on a baby tee that exposed her belly ring and pierced nipples. Within seconds, my dick got hard. Releasing a shaky breath, I made my way inside while she greeted me.

“I thought you had a date tonight?” she asked with amusement in her tone and a smile on her face.

“Yeah, and you ruined it—yet again.”

Amanda cackled as she closed the door, and as much as I didn’t want to, I smiled as I headed further into the living room.

“How did I ruin it? I wasn’t even there.”

“Yeah, but most of the good ones always want nothing to do with me when they find out about you.”

“Why? It’s not like we’re in a relationship. We just have sex from time to time.”

“My point exactly.”

“Did you try to explain that?” she asked, sitting next to me on her white sofa.

“I didn’t bother this time. Sometimes I do, but I didn’t feel like it tonight.”

Amanda sighed as she leaned forward and poured tequila in a six-ounce serving flute from the set I’d gotten her for her last birthday.

“You want something to drink?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

She nodded and stood, and my eyes immediately lowered to her ass. “I think you might be a little too transparent, E,” she said as she made her way to her mini bar by the kitchen. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t be honest. If they ask you if you have sex with your baby mama, say yes. But don’t just offer that information up if they don’t ask. You ruin your chances every time you do that. Plus, it’s not like you plan to still fuck me if you get into a relationship, so it really doesn’t make sense for you to tell them.”

My head shook as I leaned back and relaxed on the couch. “You know I got too much integrity to move like that. I’m not looking for ways to finesse a woman. If she’s the one for me, she’ll at least give me the chance to explain and trust I’m worth getting to know, even with that truth.”

Amanda shrugged as she grabbed the Hennessy I brought over, but I wasn’t in the mood for that because it would make me want to be inside her. “Aye, give me that apple Crown instead.”

Our eyes locked as she smiled. “Yeah, okay.” She agreed with a chuckle. I knew what type of time she thought I was on, but I was trying to be on my best behavior. Once she poured my drink, she walked back over, and I accepted the glass with thanks. She took a sip of her 1942, and my eyes slowly trailed her frame.

“I know you’re here because you’re upset, so let it out,” she offered, squeezing my thigh.

“I’m not upset with her; I’m upset with this situation. You know I wanted more than one child by now, but I want the next one to come from the woman that’s going to be my wife. This dating shit is getting played the fuck out, especially since I can’t get past date number three.”

“Well…you’re holding your own self back with your honest ass. I’m telling you; you’d get a lot further with a woman if you didn’t tell her about us. I hate to say that, but it’s the truth. The only other option is for you to stop fucking me. Is that what you want to do?”

I knew the answer immediately, but I didn’t respond right away. Instead, I looked her pecan brown frame over. Our skin tones were the same, but her skin was golden in the sunlight and mine was red. EJ’s skin had a reddish hue, like mine. He was honestly the perfect blend of us with my tight, dark eyes, her structured face shape, and our deep brown skin.

“I ain’t gotta stop fucking you at all,” I finally replied, making her laugh as I licked my lips. After taking a sip of my drink, I added, “If you gave me another baby—”

“Unh uh.” Amanda’s head shook rapidly.

“Bu—”

“You’re a great father, and I love coparenting with you, but it’s bad enough that we’re still having sex, Elias. If we had another baby, we might as well be together. And seeing as you’ve made it clear that’s not what you want, I’m not giving you another baby.”

I knew she was going to say that. She’d been saying it for the last five years. It didn’t stop me from asking though.

“If you ain’t giving me a baby, I ain’t giving you this dick.”

Amanda scoffed before taking another sip of her tequila. “Trust me, you’ll cave before I do.”

I wouldn’t, but I would make her beg me for this dick. Not bothering to continue to go back and forth with her, I cut some music on and pulled out the weed stash I kept at her spot. While she got ready to head out, I smoked and sipped until my mood was stable. By then, she came out looking like perfection, dressed in high waisted leggings and a crop top that showed every curve of her flawless body. Her heels had to be six inches, and I couldn’t wait until we got back later tonight so I could feel them digging in my skin while I dug in her pussy.

She told me she’d planned to bar hop alone but invited me along since I was here. I agreed, and we headed out for what I was sure would be a fun time. Because if nothing else, Amanda and I were damn good parents, sex buddies, and able to have an amazing time together.