Chapter Twenty-Four

"So I need you to book the flights and hotel for everyone going to the convention," Missy Beck, my new coworker and mentor, tells me, tapping a pen against the planner spread across her messy desk. Her dark head is bent, her brown eyes running over the neat rows of notes scrawled in the margins. She"s cute, with a heart-shaped face, sparkling brown eyes, and long, auburn hair. "Emerald, Libby, and Dax prefer to stay on-site, but you"ll have to book April at a different hotel, preferably a few miles from the venue. She freaks about crowds. Anxiety."

"Got it," I say, hurriedly jotting notes so I don"t miss anything. It"s only noon and my notebook is already crammed full of instructions and reminders.

As soon as I finished filling out the new hire paperwork, we started getting me up to speed on how things run at Triton. Missy doesn"t waste time. She"s in her early twenties with big wire-rimmed glasses and a ready smile, and she talks about sixty miles a minute. I love her already, but my head is spinning a little bit.

"You"ll need to check with Davion to make sure all the swag gets picked up from the printers," she continues, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "You"ll also want to confirm the packing list with Marion and double-check that everything is ready before you pass it over to Davion to ship. Everything needs to be shipped by Wednesday so it arrives on time. I have the address around here somewhere."

My phone buzzes as she flips through her planner, snagging my attention. I flick my gaze up to her before I slide my phone out of my pocket to read the notification. I"m not sure what the phone policy is around here, and I don"t want to get in trouble on my first day.

When you get home, I want you to sit on my face until you come for me.

Heat rolls through me as soon as I read Roman"s text. I have to bite my cheek to keep from moaning out loud. He"s been insatiable since our disastrous outing to Venice on Friday. He barely let me leave the bedroom all weekend, but he"s been a lot less stressed. Even if things didn"t go well at the bar, I think going helped him see that we could leave the house without all hell breaking loose.

And I"m taking that ass tonight, baby. I"ve been hard all day thinking about it.

Dear God. I think he"s trying to kill me.

"Mila?"

I jump, dropping my phone to the floor. My gaze flies to Missy to find her watching me, an amused smile on her face.

"I"m so sorry," I mumble, reaching down to grab my phone. Before I can shove it into my pocket, it buzzes twice in rapid succession with incoming messages. I hurry to silence it and then put it in my pocket. Heat scorches my cheeks. They"re probably blazing red.

I"m going to kill Roman. I cannot believe he texted me on my first day at work!

"I don"t know what he said," Missy says, waving me off when I apologize again, "but judging from the look on your face, you"re in for a good time tonight."

I blink at her, which makes her throw her head back and laugh.

"So I was right," she says after a minute, amusement dancing through her eyes.

"About what?"

"You"re in a relationship." She smiles again when I just stare at her, my mouth hanging open a little. "What? You"re the new girl, and you"re hot. Everyone"s been dying to pry into your personal life all damn day."

"You could have asked," I point out. Everyone has been really nice to me all day, but they"ve avoided asking me anything personal. It"s been a little weird, honestly.

"So, here"s the thing," she says, cringing. "We all kind of know your former boss. Publishing is a small world, and Lizette Hicks has taken on a few of our authors over the years. She"s a monumental bitch, but we have to deal with her, so we make the best of it. She had a meltdown when she found out Kelli was considering hiring you. Kelli basically told her to get fucked, but Tom overheard the conversation, did some digging, and told…well, pretty much everybody. So we all know what happened."

"You"re kidding me," I groan, my cheeks burning again. I knew it would come up sooner or later, but I really didn"t think everyone would know the dirty details before I even finished my first day, let alone started it. And I cannot believe Lizette tried to keep me from getting this job! I worked my ass off for her.

Oh my gosh. I bet she"s the reason the Costei Agency canceled on me. They probably hadn"t even hired anyone. She just got to them!

God, she is evil.

"Tom meant well, as weird as that may sound. We all hate Lizette." Missy eyes me, a speculative gleam in her eyes. "Believe me; we"re all on your side in this."

"There is no side," I mumble. There really isn"t. As embarrassing as it is to find out that everyone knows what happened, as far as I"m concerned, Lizette and Damien can have each other. I"m not losing sleep over either of them. Especially not when I ended up with Roman.

"So…did she really fire you because she was hooking up with your boyfriend?"

I shrug, not even bothering to deny it. What"s the point when everyone already knows?

Missy grimaces. "Just so you know, that isn"t the story she tried to float. She tried to make you the guilty party, but someone in your old office told Tom the real story. She is a real piece of work, isn"t she?"

Of course she lied. Argh. She really is evil. I"m suddenly glad Tom dug for details, though. Everyone in Berkeley had met Damien and knew that we were dating long before Lizette entered the picture. No one here knew that. Her lies could have ruined my reputation before I ever had a chance, all because he chased after me. Like I asked him to do that. They can have each other. I meant it the day I walked out, and I mean it even more now.

"Yeah, she"s a bitch," I agree. Let her fix her own damn reputation. I"m not doing it for her.

"But you"re dating someone new?" Missy asks.

Dating doesn"t really sum up what I"m doing with Roman. I"m still not really sure what to call him. Boyfriend doesn"t seem strong enough for the way I feel about him. I"m so in love with him; it hurts to think about not having him all over me, all the time. What"s the word that defines that?

Sometimes, it seems like we"re moving at the speed of light, and then I remember the four years we spent moving at a snail"s pace, not even acknowledging how we felt about each other, and it doesn"t seem fast enough for me. And then I remember that Tahani still isn"t speaking to either of us because we"re together, and just feel sad all over again.

There"s not a good way to sum up all of that, so I don"t even try.

"Something like that," I say instead.

"Is he hot? He is, isn"t it?" Missy asks.

"So hot," I mumble, blushing. She has no idea. Roman is too damn big to be beautiful, but he"s beautiful anyway. Every inch of him is rock hard like he was chiseled from stone. He"s a walking, talking, wet dream.

"I knew it," she crows, laughing, and then she sobers again. "Seriously though, good for you. Lizette is a total bitch. If your ex was dumb enough to sleep with her, you are way better off, my friend."

"Thanks," I say, unable to contain my own smile. "I think so, too."

"I can"t believe she slept with your boyfriend. That"s so trashy."

"She"s a bitch," I say with a shrug. Lizette gets off on making people miserable. I almost feel sorry for Damien. Almost. Okay, not really. He made his bed. He can lie in it.

"Thankfully, she won"t be in Sacramento, so you won"t have to worry about running into her or anything."

"Um, Sacramento?" I blink.

"Yeah, for the conference." Missy narrows her eyes on me, frowning. "You did know that you"re coming along with us, right?"

"Uh, no."

"Oh. I thought Kelli told you. You"re going to be responsible for setting up booths and helping our authors during the event. If they need food, you get them food. You"ll basically be a gopher for the two days, but it"s a lot of fun and you"ll get to meet all kinds of people."

"Okay." I try to smile at her reassuringly, but when she frowns at me again, I don"t think I succeeded.

"If you can"t go, we can ask someone else…"

"No, no," I hurry to say, and then swallow hard when my voice cracks. My heart feels like it"s lodged itself in my throat. "It"s no problem." Except for the fact that my best friend lives there, and I think she hates me.

"Are you sure?" Missy asks, watching me carefully.

"I"m looking forward to it," I lie, smiling as brightly as possible.

The rest of the day passes in a blur of activity and information. I miss most of it. My mind is stuck on the fact that I"ll be in Sacramento in a matter of days, close enough to force Tahani to talk to me.

By the time I make it home, my stomach is in knots, and I feel like I"m going to throw up.

When I pull up and park, Roman"s truck is already in the driveway. He meets me at the door, leaning his big body against the frame.

My heart thumps hard against my ribcage as I walk toward him. He looks so handsome in his black T-shirt and jeans, with a sexy smirk on his lips. The knots in my stomach loosen a little at the sight of him, allowing heat to creep in and steal through me. His text messages from earlier flash through my mind. The two he sent after the dirty ones were both really sweet. He told me that he couldn"t stop thinking about me and that he loved me.

I didn"t message him back. I was worried I"d say something about Sacramento if I did, and I wanted to talk to him face-to-face about that. With everything going on, I"m sure he"ll probably be relieved that I"ll be out of town for a few days. But I don"t know how he"ll feel about me trying to see Tahani while I"m there. She still isn"t responding to texts, though. It"s time for drastic measures…like showing up on her doorstep out of the blue.

The thought makes another wave of nausea roll through me.

"Hi," I whisper when I reach him, swallowing hard to push the queasy feeling back.

His gaze rolls over me, and his smile slips. "What"s wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing."

Those gorgeous hazel eyes narrow on me, but he doesn"t say anything. He just takes my bag from me and leads me into the house.

As soon as the front door closes behind us, he resets the alarm. When it beeps, he drops my purse to the floor and pulls me into his arms, holding me tightly.

I rest my head against his chest and sigh. God, he smells good. Some of the knots in my stomach loosen as he hugs me.

"I missed you today," he says softly, his lips against my crown.

"I missed you too." I tilt my head back to look up at him.

He tips his forward and kisses me, nibbling at my lips in sweet little bites until I open for him. As soon as I do, his tongue twines with mine. He kisses me like he"s got all day, soft and sweet. By the time he breaks away, my nipples are hard and my mind is hazy.

"How was your first day, baby?" he asks, pulling me into the living room.

"It was good," I murmur as he pushes me down on the couch and then sits beside me. "Everyone was really nice and friendly. I think I"m going to like it there." I hesitate for a minute. "They know what happened with my former boss. She threw a fit when she found out they were going to hire me."

"What the fuck?" he growls.

"They don"t like her much either."

"Good. She"s a bitch, and they"re lucky to have you." He shifts us around until I"m tucked against his chest, one hand splayed across his abdomen. "How do you feel about them knowing what happened?"

I shrug one shoulder. "It"s a little embarrassing, but they were going to find out sooner or later, I guess."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," he says softly. "Your ex was a fucking idiot, and your boss was a cunt. You"re better off without both of them."

"That"s exactly how I feel. Fuck both of them."

He chuckles at me and then sobers. "What they did to you was fucked up."

"Yeah, it was. I"m thankful for what happened, though." I hesitate a moment when a little growl rumbles in his throat. "Maybe that"s not the right word. I just mean that had I not walked in on them, I wouldn"t have gone to Santa Cruz. None of this would have happened."

They should never have done what they did, and Lizette shouldn"t have fired me when she was the one fucking my boyfriend, but what they did forced me to admit what I really wanted. I got Roman out of the entire messed-up situation. How can I regret that?

"Don"t be so sure about that," Roman mutters, wrapping one hand around the back of my neck to pull me closer. His lips land against my forehead. "We would have happened sooner or later."

I think he"s probably right about that, so I don"t argue with him.

"How was your day?" I ask instead.

He grunts and pulls back a little, tucking my head against his chest again. "Same shit, different day. We"ll talk about that later. Why were you upset when you got home? Was it your ex-boss?"

"I wasn"t upset."

"Mila."

"Roman." I mimic his stern tone. Just thinking about seeing Tahani makes my stomach clench and nausea claw up my throat. I"m not ready to talk about it yet. Not when I still haven"t decided what I should do.

"You"re so fucking stubborn," he says with a chuckle. His body shakes against mine before he composes himself again. "Seriously, baby. I know something"s wrong. I could see it in your eyes the minute I looked at you."

"You"re obsessed with my eyes," I mutter.

He tilts my face up with his hands until my gaze locks on his. "Sweetheart, I"m obsessed with every inch of that sexy little body." He shoots me another smirk, brushing his thumb across my bottom lip. "Talk to me."

I ignore his demand and suck his thumb into my mouth before biting down.

"Mila," he growls like I"m pissing him off, but his eyes darken as lust rolls through them.

"You talk. I"m busy," I mumble, pushing myself to my knees beside him. My palms land against his chest as I crawl closer. I stop long enough to yank my skirt up so I can climb into his lap.

He growls again when I straddle him, his hands going to my hips. He"s already hard, the large bulge in his jeans pressing against my pussy through my panties. I hold myself steady with my hands on his shoulders and lean forward. My teeth rake against his sharp jawline, and then I lick my way up his throat to his ear.

"I thought you wanted me coming on your face when I got home," I whisper and then bite him just hard enough to make it hurt, knowing that little lick of pain makes him crazy.

"Fuck," he groans, bucking upward beneath me. His hands tighten around my hips.

"Make me come, Mr. Gregory," I whisper, grinding against him. "Please. I need you."

He moves so fast that it startles me. A surprised yelp escapes my lips, and then I"m on my back beneath him while he hovers over me. His hazel eyes are on fire as he rocks his hips against me, his cock bumping against my clit.

I moan loudly and push upward, forcing his cock to nudge against my clit a little harder.

"So fucking stubborn," he mutters, but he"s done trying to deny me.

I knew he would be the second I called him Mr. Gregory. Every time I say it, he gets so riled up.

He grabs the collar of my shirt and yanks it down, exposing my breasts. His eyes darken a little further, and he dips his head, pulling one nipple into his mouth.

"Roman," I groan when he bites me.

He rocks his hips against mine as he moves from breast to breast, sucking and licking. It feels like my nipples are directly connected to my clit. Every time he bites me, electric shocks strike like lightning between my legs. The sensation is so strong that I cry out his name, grasping at his shoulders.

"Fuck, I love when you say my name like that. Do it again," he mumbles, pulling one of my legs around his hip.

His erection hits me just right as he grinds against me. As soon as he bites my nipple again, pulling it between his teeth, I cry out, partly in pleasure, partly in surprise, as an intense orgasm shatters me apart out of nowhere. My back arches off the couch, my mouth falling open.

"Jesus Christ," he mutters, leaning up to rip his shirt off over his head.

I writhe beneath him, riding out the waves.

The doorbell rings.

Roman swears loudly, whipping his head around. He glances at the door and then back down at me, his expression feral. "Do not fucking move," he mutters to me before pulling himself to his feet and then stomping toward the front door. He doesn"t put his shirt back on.

I hear him shuffling around, probably looking out the peephole, and then he curses again, disarms the alarm, and yanks the door open. I don"t even try to cover myself. Whoever is out there can"t see me unless they come inside the house, and I"m completely blissed out. I"m still gasping for breath as electric shocks continue to ping through my body. I"ve never come so quickly or so easily before. It feels amazing.

I close my eyes, smiling as Roman talks to whoever"s at the door. His deep voice is hard and irritated. I don"t think he"s thrilled about being interrupted. He says something else and then another male voice responds, talking so quietly I can"t make out what he says either.

I just lay there, letting Roman"s deep voice roll over me. There"s an edge of irritation in his tone as he growls at whoever interrupted us. I love the way he talks. His voice is dark and rumbling, reminding me a little bit of the way wild animals grumble and growl. He can be downright intense sometimes, but he"s playful and sweet at other times. Regardless of his mood, that voice is sexy as hell.

Tahani used to tell me that he"s just a big teddy bear. She"s kind of right.

Crap. Tahani.

What am I going to do about her? Should I go see her when I"m in Sacramento next week? Should I leave it alone and let her come to me when she"s ready to talk? Is she ever going to talk to me again? Or to her dad?

My stomach roils again, nausea creeping back in as questions rapidly fire through my mind. I pop my eyes open and stare up at the ceiling, worrying my bottom lip as I try to decide what to do. The truth is…I"m terrified that she"s never going to forgive me for being with Roman.

"Thanks," Roman says, his tone still hard, and then the door closes. He flips the lock and then calls out to me.

I sit up and peek over the back of the couch at him.

"Dinner"s here, baby." His gaze sweeps over me, his eyes still dark and heated. He bites his lip and then shakes his head, his expression soft. "So fucking sexy," he mutters under his breath. "Come to the kitchen so I can feed you."

My stomach churns at the thought of food, but I drag myself up off the couch, adjust my top, pull my skirt back down over my ass, and then follow behind him.

By the time I get to the kitchen, he"s already pulling containers of Chinese food out of the bags and setting them on the counter-high oak table. The thing is huge, but it looks like an ordinary table beside him.

I go to the fridge and get him a beer and a bottle of water for me before grabbing plates and making my way to him.

When I hold his beer out to him, he pulls me up against him and kisses the side of my head. I wrap an arm around his waist and squeeze before climbing up into my chair and surveying the containers spread across the table. It looks like he ordered one of everything on the menu. My stomach still churns, and the strong smells make it worse.

I scoop out a little fried rice and an eggroll.

Roman heaps his plate full before digging in.

I take a few bites, and then push the rice around on my plate, still thinking about Tahani.

What am I going to do?

"Mila."

"Hmm?"

I glance up to find Roman frowning at me. His plate is empty, as are about half the containers strewn around the table. I look at the clock on the stove to find that it"s fifteen until seven, and we"ve been sitting at the table for almost an hour.

"What"s going on, baby?" he asks, reaching out to drag my chair closer to his. It screeches loudly across the tile, but he ignores the sound until I"m right in front of him, one of his hands against my cheek. His somber expression and the obvious worry in his hazel eyes make it clear that he"s not going to let me distract him this time.

"I have to go to Sacramento on Sunday," I whisper, watching his face as he studies me as intently as always. "There"s a conference my boss wants me to attend with them. I"ll be there until Wednesday morning."

"You"re thinking about going to see Tahani," he guesses.

I nod.

"Do you want to see her for you or for me?" he asks.

"I―" I frown, not sure how to answer that question. I want to see her because I miss her, and I hate that she"s angry with me. I want to tell her…I"m not sure where to start. I want to tell her that I love Roman and that we never meant to hurt her. I want to tell her that he"s fucking miserable because she isn"t talking to him.

I want to tell her that I don"t want to be the reason they"re not speaking.

"I"m not giving you up," he whispers when a tear slips down my cheek. "If that"s what you"re planning on telling her, forget it, baby. I won"t let you leave me because you think it"ll make her happy."

"She"s your daughter, Roman," I whisper. He always knows exactly what I"m thinking before I even verbalize it, so I don"t even try to deny the truth. I"m so afraid the only way to fix things for him and Tahani is by walking away. I don"t want to lose him. God, the thought alone makes me feel like I"m going to break. But I don"t know what the right thing to do is in this situation.

"And you"re the entire fucking reason I breathe, Mila," he growls, his voice harsh.

My gaze flies to his again.

"Don"t you get it?" he asks, the pain in his eyes breaking my heart a little bit. "I can"t lose you any more than I can lose Tahani, baby. You"re…fuck. You"re part of my goddamn soul." He grabs one of my hands and presses it against his chest, over his heart. "Every beat is for you. If you leave me…." Another wave of pain rolls through his eyes. "I"ve never needed much, but I need you here with me, sweetheart."

His words wreck me a little. I don"t know what to do. If leaving means that Tahani forgives him…isn"t that what I have to do?

My dad chose alcohol over me. I haven"t spoken to him in over four years. I don"t miss him, and I"m better off without him. It"s different with Tahani and Roman. Roman adores her, and they"ve always been close. I don"t want to be why she never speaks to him again.

What am I supposed to do?

"I don"t want to give you up," I admit, swallowing past the lump in my throat. "But I don"t know what else to do, Roman. I hate that she isn"t talking to you because of me. It"s not right."

"She isn"t talking to me because of me," he says firmly, wiping another tear from my cheek.

"She isn"t talking to me, either."

"Go see her when you"re in Sacramento," he says, pulling me out of my chair and into his arms. He wraps them around me, holding me tightly. "Say whatever it is you need to say to her. Listen to whatever she has to say to you. But don"t give up on me now, baby. I swear to you, things are going to get better. I just need you to give me a little time to sort this shit out."

"Okay," I whisper, praying like hell that he"s right about things improving because I"m not sure how much more silence I can take. I miss Tahani, and I know Roman misses her too. I just want her to talk to us again.