Chapter One

Now

"Mila?"

I glance up from the pile of used tissues on my lap and squint, trying to see through the tears blurring my vision. My eyes are gritty and swollen, but Tahani McPherson"s face swims into focus in the dimly lit room.

Her dark hair is in a messy pile on top of her head; her hazel eyes clouded with concern as she surveys my suitcases piled inside the living room. Her things are packed, too. Unlike me, though, she"s off to bigger and better things.

I thought I was, too…right up until my asshole of an ex shattered that illusion. If I never see Damien Wentworth again, it"ll be too soon.

"Hey," I whisper, dashing away the tears pooling in my eyes as my voice quivers. I hate that I"m crying.

"What did he do?" Tahani asks, dropping her purse beside the door and hurrying across the living room toward me. She drops down onto the couch beside me and puts an arm around my shoulders.

I rest my head against hers and sigh. "I stopped by his place this morning to drop off my stuff before work and found him and Lizette in bed together."

"Lizette? You mean your boss, Lizette?"

"Yep. She fired me."

"You"re kidding me."

"Nope." I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to force out the image of my boyfriend"s bare ass as he thrust into Lizette Hicks, his gray sheets twisted around them. I snort my disgust. "I guess they"ve been sleeping together for a couple of months now."

Ever since I introduced them to one another at a cheesy Valentine"s Day party, I thought they"d like each other. It never crossed my mind that they"d jump into bed together, and it certainly never crossed my mind that I'd catch them just weeks after he convinced me to move in until I found my own place.

I guess they were having one last hurrah before I ruined their fun. They were both shocked when they saw me standing in the doorway. Damien actually had the nerve to say I was early.

I solved the problem by tossing his stupid key at his head and walking out. He tried to chase me, begging me not to leave him, so Lizette fired me. As if I asked him to tell me he"d end things with her immediately. As if I'll ever look at him the same. She can have him. Which is precisely what I told him.

"I"m going to kill him," Tahani seethes, practically growling the words as she squeezes me tighter. "I"ll rip his fucking balls off and feed them to him."

A choked laugh erupts from my lips at her threat. At five foot three and a hundred and ten pounds, with long brunette hair and the face of an angel, Tahani"s not even remotely close to scary. But if anyone would rip Damien"s balls off for me, she would. She"s my best friend. She has been since we roomed together our freshman year at Berkeley.

He"s not even worth the effort, though. He"s not worth the six months I wasted with him, either. God, why did I ever let him wear me down and convince me to give him a chance?

"He"s been calling me all day," I mumble when my cell begins to vibrate across the top of the coffee table. I haven"t answered. Everything that needs to be said between us has been. I feel like an idiot, though. How did I not know he was sleeping with my boss? How did I miss something so big?

He told me he was okay with waiting to sleep together until I was ready, and I believed him.

I should have known better.

Thank God it never felt right with him. This would probably feel so much worse if I had given him my virginity.

Tahani reaches out and snatches my phone from the table before glancing at the screen and swiping to answer. She puts it on speaker so I can hear.

"What do you want?" she snaps.

I cringe when Damien"s voice sounds on the other end. He sounds like a petulant, whiny child. "I just want to talk to her, Tahani."

"No."

"Is she okay?"

"What do you think?" she growls at him.

His heavy sigh echoes down the line.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Damien? You ask her to move in with you, and on the very day of the move, you"re fucking her boss in your bed? What in the hell is wrong with you?"

"I screwed up," he says.

"You think?" Tahani rolls her eyes, her full lips set in a grim line.

"I don"t know what I was thinking. You know I love her, Tahani."

"Bullshit."

"Can I please come over and talk to her?"

"Hell no."

"Please?"

"She doesn"t want to talk to you."

"Ever again," I mutter.

"Ever again," she repeats to him before wrapping her slender arm around me again.

"She can"t avoid me forever."

"Watch her," Tahani snaps and then hangs up on him. She huffs, dropping my phone onto the couch beside her. "What an asshole."

"Yeah." I sigh, mentally and emotionally drained.

"And Lizette can go straight to hell, too. I cannot believe the two of them!"

Yeah, me neither. And I really can"t believe she fired me on the spot. My job wasn"t glamorous by any means, and Lizette could be a total nightmare, but working as her personal assistant was a foot in the door to the publishing industry. She"s one of the best acquisition editors in this part of the state. Now, I have to start from the bottom all over again.

I shake my head, not sure if I"m in shock or too tired to function.

"Can I crash in my old room?" I ask.

"Like you even have to ask," Tahani says.

We sit in silence for a long moment. I close my eyes and rest my head on her shoulder again. The last week of my life has been a whirlwind. After graduating and packing up the entire apartment, exhaustion runs deep, all the way to my bones, I think.

"You know he"s going to show up here," Tahani warns me.

"I know."

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"Nope. I have nothing else to say to him."

"What are you going to do?"

What am I going to do? Just this morning, I had a boyfriend, a job, and a plan. Now, I"m single and unemployed. As if that weren"t bad enough, with Tahani moving to Sacramento with her boyfriend in a matter of days, our shared apartment has already been rented to someone else. I can"t move back in here permanently, so I"m officially homeless now, too.

"You can come with me to Sacramento," Tahani offers.

"No, I can"t." I shake my head in denial. "I love you for offering, but you and Trent don"t need me underfoot."

"You know he won"t mind. He adores you."

"I know, but still." Trent Bianco, Tahani"s boyfriend, plays professional basketball. He was just traded from the Golden State Warriors to the Sacramento Kings. This will be their first time living together since we graduated. As much as I love her for offering to let me stay with them, they deserve time to themselves.

Besides which, finding a publisher in Sacramento willing to take me on would be next to impossible. There simply aren"t that many of them there. There aren"t many in Berkeley either. More than likely, I"ll be moving to Los Angeles.

"Maybe I"ll grab a hotel room until I find something," I tell her.

Luckily, I won"t end up living on the streets. I"m not rich, but my mom"s parents were close to it. When I turned twenty-one, I received a hefty inheritance from their estate. I"ve barely touched the money in the year since.

"My best friend is not living in a hotel," Tahani says, narrowing her eyes to glare at me.

"It"ll be fine," I say with a shrug. Living in a hotel for a few weeks can"t be much worse than living in a tiny dorm on campus for two years, right? We survived that until we moved into this place at the end of our sophomore year so she would be closer to Trent.

"Hell no." Tahani hops up from the couch and strides toward the front door before bending down and grabbing her purse from the floor. She digs around for a minute before walking back to me. "Here," she says, dropping something in my lap.

"What"s this for?" I ask, holding up a silver key on a plain keychain.

"My dad"s condo in Santa Cruz. You can stay there until you decide what you want to do."

My stomach flips at the mention of her dad.

"You can"t just give me the key to your dad"s condo," I protest. I"ve spent a lot of time around Roman Gregory over the years I"ve known his daughter, and I don"t think he"d appreciate having me take over his condo. I"m not sure if he just doesn"t like me or if he knows I"ve always had a thing for him, but he rarely speaks to me. I"ve never quite figured him out.

He"s sexy as hell, with messy black hair, piercing hazel eyes, the same gorgeous olive skin as his daughter, and a body that should be illegal. He"s covered in the most beautiful tattoos. He"s also massive, towering over just about everyone else. Tahani definitely didn"t get her diminutive size from him. He"s honestly a little intimidating. Not just in size, though that"s impressive enough, but in the way he looks at me like he can see every dirty thought I"ve ever had and hasn"t decided what he wants to do about them.

The way he watches me…I think maybe he hasn"t decided. Or maybe that"s just the cop in him. Either way, he"s scary-hot and formidable as hell. He intrigues me even though he shouldn"t.

I spend far too much time thinking about him. But that"s a secret I"ll take to my grave. He and Tahani are the closest thing to a family that I"ve had since my mom died. It'd kill me to lose Tahani, and I"m pretty sure she"d hate me if she ever found out that I"ve been crushing on her dad for the last four damn years.

"Why not?" Tahani asks. "He"s working a big case in LA, so he won"t be getting away anytime soon. The condo is just sitting there. Use it until you find something. He won"t care."

I hesitate, torn.

I don"t want to take over Mr. Gregory"s condo, but she"s right. He works for the ATF and rarely ever gets away from Los Angeles. Except for when he comes to visit her, the place is vacant the rest of the year. And Damien will never think of looking for me there. I don"t think he even knows about Mr. Gregory"s condo. Plus, it"s on the beach. I can clear my head, get my shit together, and figure out a new plan for the rest of my life. One that doesn"t involve a cheating liar like Damien.

Determination fills me, wiping away a little of the weariness clinging to my soul.

"I"ll stay there," I agree. "But only until I find something else."

"So, what do you think of the condo?" Tahani asks four days later.

"It"s great, Tahani. Truly." I tip my head back and take a deep breath, my cell phone against my ear. The fresh, salty scent of seawater assuages my senses, relaxing knots in my neck and shoulders that I thought had taken up permanent residence there over the last several days. Closing my eyes, I let my head loll and listen to the sound of waves breaking on the shore a few yards away. My toes sink into the warm sand beneath my feet, relaxing me even further.

I stand in prolonged silence, reveling in the peaceful feeling that settles over me before I turn away from the beach and look up at the condo. The entire back of the house is sleek glass, overlooking a massive patio and the small, private stretch of beach I"m currently standing on. I haven"t seen a single person on the beach since I"ve been here. It"s so much nicer than the crowded public beaches I grew up around.

"Mila? You still there?"

"Your dad"s place is amazing," I say softly into the phone, letting her know I"m still with her.

"I"m really glad you like it," she says, unable to hide her worry. I know it"s a little rustic, being a bachelor pad and all."

"Are you kidding me? I love it." I"ve only been here for a day and a half, and I already never want to leave. The place isn"t massive and nowhere near as fancy as half of the homes I passed on my way here, but Mr. Gregory has phenomenal taste. The condo is modern, with tons of natural light and soft colors. The place is secluded and quiet...exactly what I need to ensure Damien won"t find me.

At the thought of him, a sliver of anger pulses through me.

Sometime on the drive here from Berkeley, the shock of finding him in bed with Lizette wore off. I"m disgusted. And beyond done with him. The feeling is oddly comforting. I ghosted him, effectively cutting off all possible contact. I changed my phone number and email address and deactivated my social media accounts before I threw my bags into my new Dodge Charger and drove away, leaving Berkeley, Damien Wentworth, and Lizette Hicks in the rearview mirror.

"Do you need anything?" Tahani asks.

"No, I"m good." I bend and scoop my wine glass up from the sand before making my way up the steps onto the back deck, through the sliding glass door, and into the condo. Once inside, I stop and look around, taking it all in again. I don"t know how I"ve never been here before, but it"s beautiful.

The floors are gleaming hardwood. Soft, comfortable furniture rests on gorgeous white rugs. In the living room, a massive television dominates the entertainment center, with various game consoles arrayed beneath.

The kitchen is even more modern, with stainless steel appliances and a huge marble-topped island. The glass kitchen table sits in front of the wall of windows overlooking the beach below. The place is elegant but somehow simple at the same time. Uncomplicated, unlike its owner. Despite being vacant for weeks now, the entire house is spotless.

"Are you sure?" Tahani asks, recalling my attention. "Trent and I are only a couple hours away. If you need company, he wouldn"t mind if I–"

"Tahani, I"m fine, really." I laugh, making my way into the kitchen to refill my glass. Sacramento is more than just a couple of hours away. "You still need to unpack and get settled in. I"ll be okay. I"m not going to fall to pieces. Damien isn"t worth it."

"No, he isn"t," she agrees, iron in her voice.

"How could I have been so stupid, though, Hani?" I ask, grabbing the bottle of wine and popping the cork. My hand trembles as a sliver of anger works its way through me. "I wasted half a year with him, only for him to fall into bed with my boss." A bitter laugh cracks from my lips. "I was an idiot."

"It"s not your fault for trusting him not to betray you," Tahani whispers. "You"re supposed to be able to trust the people you love."

Maybe that"s the problem. I wasn"t in love with him. I cared about him, but that isn"t the same thing. I certainly don"t miss him. Even before he cheated on me, I never really missed him when we weren"t together. That"s not how you"re supposed to feel about someone you"re thinking about living with.

I"m angry that he turned out to be a cheating liar, but my heart isn"t broken. I'm disappointed. But I"m honestly more sad about the job than about the boy. That isn"t normal, either.

"I was na?ve. I was so focused on the perfect future I"d envisioned for myself that I didn"t even notice what was going on right in front of me," I mutter before setting the bottle of wine on the counter and taking a gulp from my glass. "It was stupid to think he meant it when he said he didn"t mind waiting until I was ready. Of course, he was lying."

"Don"t do that."

"Do what?"

"Blame yourself. He cheated on you, Mila. You didn"t do anything to deserve it. You didn"t ask for it. You aren"t to blame. He is. And so is Lizette for being a monumental bitch," Tahani practically growls down the line. "It doesn"t matter if you were sleeping with him or not. If he wasn"t willing to wait, you deserved honesty. You were good to him, and he was an idiot."

She"s right. I know she is. So why am I blaming myself? Because I"m an idiot, too. That"s why.

"You"re right," I groan, leaning back against the island. "This is completely on them, and I"m not going to be the girl who blames herself, weeps, wails, and asks why. I"m young, I"m intelligent, and I"m moderately attractive."

"You"re fucking hot," Tahani immediately interjects.

I smile for the first time in days at her words. I"m thick and curvy, with wavy blonde hair and green eyes. I"m comfortable in my skin and don"t care what anyone else thinks about me. But, God knows, when you"re my size, the whole world has opinions. Having a body is only offensive when it"s the wrong size.

I take another sip of my wine before continuing, "I"m not going to mope over him. I don"t know what I"m going to do, but definitely not that."

I"ve never been the girl who wallows in self-pity. Even after my mom died and my dad turned to alcohol, I didn"t let myself wallow. I couldn"t, and I"m not going to do it now either. I"m stronger than that, and I"ve worked too hard to just give up on my dreams. Maybe my future looks a little different now that I"m homeless and jobless, but I still have dreams. I just need to regroup and figure out how to reach them on my own.

"I have an interview with the Triton Agency at the end of the month," I tell Tahani.

"In Los Angeles?"

"Yeah."

So far, they"re the only literary agency that"s shown any interest in me. They"re not at the top of my list since they represent mostly fantasy, and I"m more of a romance kind of girl, but they"re a foot in the door since Lizette kicked me to the curb. I"m not going to let her and Damien win. Screw both of them.

"I"m proud of you," Tahani says, dragging my attention back to my phone. "You"re going to nail that interview, and Lizette and Damien can kiss your ass." She pauses. "You really do deserve better than him anyway, Mila. You were way too good for him. And sooner or later, you"re going to find an amazing guy who will love you like you deserve."

As far as I"m concerned, I"m done with men for the foreseeable future. Between finding an apartment and a job, I have enough to keep me occupied for a little while anyway. And if cheating and lying is what I have to look forward to by dating, I"m staying single forever, thank you very much.

"Don"t give up on finding love," Tahani responds when I tell her that. Naturally. She"s head over heels for Trent. She wants everyone to be as happy as she has been since he swept her off her feet. "Maybe you"ll find someone while you"re in Santa Cruz. You don"t have to fall in love, but definitely have a wild fling before you rush off to take LA by storm."

I tip my head back and laugh at the thought. I"ve never had a fling in my life.

"Think about it. Revenge sex with a hot stranger," she says with a dreamy sigh.

"The only one you"re having revenge sex with is me, baby," Trent grumbles in the background, causing Tahani to laugh. He says something else, his voice muffled, and then his deep voice rumbles down the line. "She"s gonna have to call you back, Mila."

Tahani moans, making it clear she said that just to piss him off. He"s possessive, and she loves every minute of it. They can barely keep their hands off of one another.

"Have fun," I say with a smile.

When the line disconnects, I set my phone on the island and stand there for a moment, twisting my wine glass back and forth in my hands. Tahani may have been joking about revenge sex to rile up Trent, but maybe that"s exactly what I need to put Damien in the past. No-strings-attached, dirty-hot sex. It"s not like my V-Card is doing me any favors anyway.

Too bad Tahani"s dad isn"t here. That"s one man I"d absolutely give it up for, no questions asked.

"Yeah, right," I mumble, shaking my head. "Like that"ll ever happen." The man doesn"t even like me, let alone want to sleep with me.

But a girl can dream, right?

I certainly do. For four freaking years, I"ve dreamed all sorts of wicked, naughty things about that man. They"ll never be anything more than that, but damn. Just damn.