Chapter Nine

The sun isn"t even over the horizon when I paddle out. Even through my wetsuit, the water borders on frigid. Waves slap against my board, sending it bobbing up and down in choppy motions. The wind is strong. The storm blowing in from further out in the Pacific already promises to be fierce.

I don"t fucking care. My body is wound tight. With Mila"s hot little ass pressed up against me all night, I barely slept. Despite my vow to give her a break, I fucked her over and over yesterday, taking her until she couldn"t handle it anymore. It still wasn"t enough.

She"s wrecking me, and she doesn"t even know it. The way she takes me, begging for more. The way she defies me and teases me with that smart-ass mouth. The shit she said about her fuck-up of an ex and her desire for stability. The way she slept against me, pressed so close I still feel her in my arms even now…it"s all fucking with my head.

She thinks this ends in two weeks. I never should have agreed to that. I don"t want pieces of her. I want every inch of her.

A wave breaks over the lip of my board, flinging cold water in my face. I turn my back and glance behind me. The condo is a speck in the distance, standing barely visible in the murky, early morning light. Deciding I"m out far enough, I turn away from the condo again and watch the waves rolling in. The closer the storm moves, the larger they grow. I probably shouldn"t be out here alone, but I don"t give a fuck about that either.

I can still smell her on me. Taste her on my tongue. Her breathy moans still ring in my ears. I want her again. Even out here, in an endless ocean of cold water, all I can think about is sliding back inside her. She took everything I gave her yesterday, letting me fuck her raw. She may have begged for more, but she needs a break. And I need to burn off energy because I don"t want to stop.

Without even trying, she"s in my head. I think she"s always been in there. And the fucked up thing about it? I"m pretty fucking certain that fact would send her running if she knew. I see it in her eyes. That sadness. The fear. She may not miss her ex, but she"s terrified to be that vulnerable again, especially with me, I think. That shouldn"t piss me off, but it does.

She said we never talked, and she"s right. We didn"t talk. I knew better than to get in any deeper with her. But I listened to every word she ever said when I was near her. I fucking ate it up like I was starving. I"ve been fascinated by her since day one. For four years, I told myself I just wanted her body. I said it over and over until even I started to believe it.

It was a fucking lie.

I want every piece of her. I want her stripped raw. I want to own her. Consume her.

I want to fucking devour her.

And she"d run like hell if she knew.

"Fuck!" I yell.

The wind snatches up the sound of my voice and rips it away. I paddle out a little bit further, fighting against the waves instead of working with them, letting the water wear me out and calm a little of the turmoil raging inside. Being with Mila has me questioning things I"ve never questioned. She has me craving shit I shouldn"t.

With her, I"ve always surfed a thin line, trying like hell to keep my balance. Now that I"ve been in her, I"m on the verge of falling. Hell, I want to fall. That scares the shit out of me, and I have no fucking clue what to do about it.

When I finally feel like I can breathe through the chaos in my mind, I settle in to wait.

It"s not long before the next wave looms up ahead of me. It"s a massive wall of water, and I want it.

I get into position, line myself up, and let it take me.

My board flies through the water. The wind is fierce, stinging my eyes. The turmoil inside my mind quiets for a minute, falling away beneath the roar of the ocean. The water is alive beneath me, a massive, wild animal. I don"t try to tame it. Only an idiot thinks he can defeat something so powerful, so electric.

I"m far from stupid.

I know surfing isn"t about winning. It"s not about defeating the water. Surfing is about acknowledging something bigger than you. It"s asking for permission to feel a little of that raw power, of that almighty fury, for yourself. For a minute, for as long as you can hold yourself steady and stay the course, you get to be more. Not equal to the water, not bigger than the wave, but part of it. And that? That"s intoxicating.

I take deep breaths in and out. For just a minute, a split second really, I feel peaceful, quiet. When my board wobbles, my footing off by the smallest bit, I realize I felt those same things last night too. When Mila pressed her sweet little body up against mine and whispered goodnight, I felt complete.

I lose my balance and wipe out, falling hard.

When I make it back to shore, she"s standing on the deck in nothing but my t-shirt. It swallows her up, hitting her at the knees. The wind whips her hair around her face. She looks beautiful. And I"m done fighting. Done raging against whatever the fuck she"s doing to me. Whatever happens, whatever this is, I want it. I just have to figure out how to make her want it, too.

"Hey," she whispers when I step onto the deck, propping my board up against the railing. Her gaze roves over my face, soft and gentle. She looks tired, like she"s only up because I am. "I didn"t know you surf."

"Yeah, I have since I was a kid." I strip out of my wetsuit.

She watches me, not missing the way my dick smacks against my stomach as soon as it"s free. I"m hard again. I was the minute I saw her standing there. I"m always fucking hard for her.

"You looked like a god out there, rising out of the waves like Poseidon." There"s a smile on her lips and wonder in her voice.

Christ, she"s cute.

I stalk toward her, crowding her until she"s pressed up against the glass doors. My hand slips beneath her shirt and around her waist before skimming over one bare ass cheek.

"Are you sore?" I ask, cupping her pussy in my hand. She"s wet again. Her heat sears into my palm.

"No."

"Liar." I lean forward and nip at her throat, pulling a moan from her.

"It"s not so bad," she says, but I know she"s lying about that too.

I took her hard, raging inside her like a fucking demon. She loved every minute of it.

"Come on," I murmur, grabbing her hand in mine and pulling her into the condo. I don"t even bother with the board and my wetsuit. If they don"t survive the storm, fuck it. I"ll buy new shit.

If we"re lucky, we have an hour until the storm hits. Long enough to suit my purposes.

I drag her with me up the stairs and into the primary bedroom. The red sheets are twisted all over the bed. The room smells like sex, like her. I pull her into the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" she asks when I start the shower and then rip her shirt up and over her head.

"Thought that was obvious," I mumble, pulling her body into mine. I put her back to my chest. My hand slips across her hip and down her stomach. I skim my fingers across her pubic bone and then move them up again, running my palms across her hardened nipples.

"Oh," she moans, her head lolling back against my shoulder.

I nuzzle my face into the side of her neck, breathing her in. She smells like me. Like I"ve been all over her. Shit, I have. For the last forty-eight hours, I"ve been drowning in her.

Her skin tastes sweet against my tongue, causing my cock to press more firmly into her back. How is it possible to want one woman this much? I don"t know.

Before I can think too deeply about that, I shuffle her into the shower. My hands don"t leave her body as I explore her. I fucking love her curves. They"re so goddamn sexy. She"s soft and round everywhere. I can"t keep my hands off her.

My fingers slip and slide against her soft skin as the water beats down on us. Steam swirls around us, shutting out everything but me, her, and the soft, happy sounds whispering from her lips.

"What are you doing to me?" she moans, wriggling against me like she can"t stay still.

I don"t answer her. There"s no point. She knows what I"m doing to her, and saying it out loud will send those defenses of hers flying into place. I want to knock them down, not build them higher.

My hand slips between her thighs, my fingers finding her clit. My free arm goes around her chest, holding her against me when her legs wobble beneath her. I play with her until she"s digging her nails into my skin, and then I push her into the wall, drop to my knees, and take her with my mouth.

Her hands fly to my head. She pulls my hair, crying out my name.

I want to drag it out, wring her dry, but I don"t. I use my tongue and fingers to push her over the edge, not letting up until she"s a trembling mess in my arms and her juices run down my chin. My cock aches for release, but this isn"t about me. It"s about her. I don"t want her to regret a second of giving herself to me.

As she comes down, I push her gently beneath the water pouring down from the showerhead and clean her up. Her body is soft and pliant in my arms. A sated smile plays on her lips while I take care of her, those defensive walls nowhere in sight.

"My partner almost got his two-year-old son killed," I murmur, running my hands through her hair. Her body tenses against mine before she relaxes again. "Drug cartels in Mexico have a lot of people operating along the West Coast. They defend trade routes and do all kinds of shit for the cartels they serve. A couple of months ago, we got word that one of those cartels was snatching up a large number of guns. We were trying to get in with them to figure out what they"ve got planned, so we floated word that we had half a million in guns we were looking to move. My partner fucked up and asked one too many questions. One of our suspects, a higher-level member, got suspicious and followed him home."

"Oh no," she whispers.

"He took Brady"s wife and kid hostage. He was going to kill them just to prove a point. I shot the son of a bitch from behind. He never even saw me coming."

I"m not really sure why I tell her this. I shouldn"t. The things I do, the people I deal with…like I told her, she doesn"t belong in that world any more than Tahani does. I don"t ever want any of that shit to touch her.

But after what she said about her ex, about craving stability…I think she needs to know what I do. I think I need her to know. Because two weeks isn"t enough. I can deny that. I can fight it. I can spend another four years lying to myself, but it won"t matter, because it won"t change anything. Two weeks isn"t enough.

I want her to know me.

If I can"t tear down those walls and convince her to give this thing between us a real chance…I want her to miss me when she goes.

How fucked up is that?

She turns in my arms, looking up at me. Her expression is hesitant, like she isn"t sure if she"s allowed to ask questions, or how much she"s allowed to ask. How much I"m willing to give her. "Is that why you"re here?"

"Yes." I nod, tilting her head back to rinse the shampoo out of her hair. "We don"t think they know I"m a cop, too, but it was safer for me to get out of town for a while than to risk being wrong."

"Oh." She swallows hard. "Is your partner"s son okay?"

I nod again.

"That"s good." She exhales. Her little arms slide around my waist, and she hugs me. Fucking hugs me like she"s trying to comfort me. "I"m sorry you had to go through that," she whispers against my chest.

And that right there? That"s how I know two weeks isn"t going to be enough to get her out of my system.

I pull her into me and kiss her hard. Her tongue touches mine, threatening to annihilate what little self-control I have left, so I break away. I intend to wash up quickly and then take her back to bed to nap, but she has other ideas.

She grabs the shower gel and dumps a handful into her hand. Her eyes meet mine, determination and desire peeking at me from those bright green depths. Before I can say a word, she"s got her hands on my body. She works intently, massaging soap into my muscles with the tip of her tongue between her lips. Before long, her hand is around my dick. Her fingers don"t come anywhere close to touching, but she works me like she knows exactly how to bring me to my knees.

I clench my hands into tight fists as she explores me. My jaw is locked tight. Everything in me wants to push her to her knees and then slide myself between those plump lips. I think I"ve fantasized about her sucking me off as many times as I"ve fantasized about fucking her. I couldn"t stay off her long enough yesterday to make that fantasy a reality, but I want it.

"You"re so hard," she says, stroking my cock like she owns it. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes."

God, yes.

Her free hand slides down my stomach, those nails raking across my abs. With more strength than I expected, than I"m prepared for, she shoves me back against the wall.

"Watch me," she whispers.

As if I could look away.

She drops to her knees. Her lips wrap around my cock. One hand goes to my thigh, the other cups my balls. As soon as I"m in her mouth, she moans like I"m the best thing she"s ever had between those lips.

"Jesus. Fuck!" My head hits the wall hard when she sucks me in deeper, so deep I hit the back of her throat. Within seconds, I"m ready to lose it completely. The feel of her hot mouth wrapped around me is way too fucking good.

She moans, the sound sending vibrations up and down my cock.

I gather her wet hair up in my hand, needing to see what she"s doing to me. She looks like a goddess on her knees, her eyes locked on me, and her lips spread around my girth as steam swirls around her. Her hand slips from my thigh, going between her legs.

"Goddamn, baby," I growl when she takes me all the way into her mouth again, deeper than before.

She gags, her throat tightening around my cock. That probably shouldn"t make me harder, but it does. I think she knows how much I like it because she does it again, and then again. Before she can do it a fourth time, I jerk back.

She whines when my dick slips from between her lips, her eyes popping open and then narrowing on me.

"No more," I tell her.

"Yes, more." She fights me, her nails digging into my ass as she tries to pull me back into her. Her eyes are wide and wild with desire, her pupils so dilated, her eyes are almost black. She"s like a little hellcat, hissing and clawing, trying to get what she wants. Trying to get to my dick.

It"s the sexiest fucking thing I"ve ever seen.

I pluck her up out of the floor and turn, putting her back to the wall. Her mouth is on my neck in the blink of an eye, her teeth in my skin. She wraps her legs around my waist, putting her pussy right there.

Every good intention I have goes out the window, obliterated when she cries out my name and grinds against me. I line myself up with her and sink in deep in one thrust.

"Mila, baby, fuck."

She"s so hot. So tight. So fucking wet. I want to pound into her until the tension snaps, and I spill into her. She whimpers, and I know I have to take it easy on her this time. My mouth finds hers as my hands go to her ass, lifting her up and sliding her slowly down my cock.

"Having my cock in your mouth was heaven for you, wasn"t it?" I ask, biting her lip.

"Roman." She practically sobs my name, and I know I"m right. I know that"s what has her spinning out of control. Mila"s had a few fantasies of her own over the last four years.

"How long, Mila?" I grip her harder, thrust a little deeper. My cock drags across her G-spot with each thrust. "How long have you wanted my cock in your mouth?"

"Since the day I met you," she says, practically yelling the words at me. She tips her head back and moans loudly when I reward her honesty with another deep thrust. "I saw you standing in our dorm, looking at me like you did, and I wanted it."

"How did I look at you, baby?"

"Like–" She moans loudly, her hands slipping and sliding across my shoulders before finding purchase. "Like you wanted to eat me right then and there."

Jesus.

How the fuck did she see through me so easily? Since day fucking one, she"s known what I wanted. I fought hard to keep that shit under wraps, but she knew.

"I did want to eat you, Mila." My mouth is at her ear again, making sure she hears every word I say. My balls draw up tight, and I know I"m not going to last much longer. I lift her up and down my length, breathing heavily. "I jerked off in the bathroom before dinner that night, thinking about those sexy legs wrapped around my head while you rode my face."

I never stood a chance that day. From the minute she smiled at me, calling me Mr. Gregory in that sweet fucking voice, it was all over.

"Come for me, baby."

She comes as soon as I demand it of her, her muscles clamping down on my cock so tightly, I can"t fucking breathe. I slam her down on me, past being gentle with her as my orgasm crashes into me like a freight train. It rips me apart, hitting so hard it hurts. I give her everything, spilling into her until there"s nothing left.

"Roman, Roman," she chants, clawing at me as she rides out her own orgasm.

I"m pretty certain she"s going to be the death of me. That doesn"t bother me as much as it probably should.

Her orgasm begins to recede, and she slumps against me, spent. My heart pounds against my ribcage as I hold her to my chest. Somehow, I manage to get the water turned off and get us both out of the shower and dried off. She clings to me the whole time, refusing to let me put her down. As soon as we"re dry enough, I say fuck it, drop the towel, carry her into the bedroom, and deposit her in the bed.

She sighs softly, relaxing into the bed when I follow her down. I pull her up against me and jerk the covers up over us. Thunder rumbles outside as the storm hits the coast.

I"m out in a matter of minutes, Mila wrapped around me like a blanket.

"You really don"t have to take me anywhere," she says hours later, eyeing me from the passenger seat of my truck. She looks beautiful, with her hair tumbling down her back. The early evening sun catches in the blonde strands, making them shine. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are brighter than they were when I got here, but I have no clue if that"s because she did something to them or if it"s the result of repeated sexual gratification. The dress she"s wearing hugs her curves, doing things to her ass that should be illegal before ending mid-thigh. The emerald green color matches her eyes.

I wanted to bend her over the couch as soon as she came downstairs in it. Instead, I dragged her to the truck, determined to get her out of the house to avoid temptation.

"You nervous?" I ask, glancing over to find her nibbling on her bottom lip.

"No. Yes." She frowns, her brow wrinkling. "I don"t know."

That makes two of us. I haven"t been on a date in so long I can"t even remember when it last happened. I have no fucking clue what I"m doing.

"It"s just dinner," I say, though I don"t know if I"m reminding her or myself.

"Right." She runs her hands down her dress, smoothing invisible wrinkles.

"You look beautiful, baby." I shift my gaze from her to the road, pulling to a stop as the light turns yellow ahead. When I turn back to her, her head is down, a blush spread across her cheeks.

"Thanks," she says, lifting her head. Her gaze roves over me, taking in my jeans and white button-down before lingering for a split second on my dick. "You look pretty good yourself."

"You mean me or my dick?" I smirk at her before turning back to the road. The light changes to green, and I pull off.

A gray sports car flies past us, swooping into the lane ahead of me and turning on the blinker. I roll to a stop behind it, not bothering to switch lanes to go around. The restaurant isn"t far ahead, and the storm washed all kinds of debris into the roadway. Mud and twigs are spread all across the right lane.

"I hate your stupid rules," Mila mutters from beside me, making me smile.

As soon as she woke up, she was ready to go another round. She"s still pissed that I told her we weren"t having sex again today. The words were barely out of my mouth before she had her hands on my body, trying to change my mind. She almost succeeded, but I stood firm. She rewarded me by telling me to fuck off with my stupid rules.

I fucking love her defiance. I won"t be telling her that shit, though.

I reach over the console, running my hand across her tits and then down between her legs. Her lip goes between her teeth, but I still hear her soft whimper. The sound is part pleasure, part pain, and it tells me everything I need to know.

"I fucked you raw, sweetheart," I tell her. "You need a break."

"Says you." She glares at me, frustration seething in her tone. Her bottom lip pouts out. "You"ve been touching me all damn day, Roman. If you aren"t going to fuck me, don"t tease me."

Her annoyance is so fucking cute. I throw my head back and laugh.

"I"ve been wet all day because of you," she grumbles.

"Poor baby," I say, still laughing.

She growls at me, narrowing her eyes. I expect her to tell me to fuck off again. Instead, she leans across the console, getting as close to me as she can. Her tits press into my arm. Her mouth lands against my ear. Her scent envelopes me, twisting through me. One of her hands slides down my chest and abs before coming to rest against the bulge in my jeans.

"Don"t even act like you haven"t been hard for me all day, Roman," she hisses in my ear. "It"s killing you that you aren"t inside me right now, isn"t it, baby?" She squeezes my cock through my jeans.

"Fuck," I curse, bucking upward in my seat as my dick pulses. She"s right. I have been hard all damn day. That"s precisely why I had to get her out of the fucking condo. If I hadn"t, I would have taken her again. She has no clue how much I want her, no clue what she"s doing to me. Hell, what she"s always done to me.

A horn blares loudly from behind us. The sports car ahead turned off at some point during her little display, and I"m now holding up traffic. With her hands on me, I don"t give a shit what"s going on around us.

She gives my cock a final squeeze and then drops back down in her seat, a self-satisfied smile on her lips.

I exhale a sharp breath and let off the brake. We drive in silence for a moment.

"I"m always hard for you, Mila," I say as the restaurant looms into view ahead. I don"t intend to say anything more, but the words are out before I can call them back. "I"ve gotten off to the thought of you for so goddamn long, it"s pathetic, baby. I"ve tried getting you out of my head since I met you and still haven"t been able to do it. You"re in there. You"ve fucking always been in there." My mouth is dry, my words deadly serious.

I cast a glance over at her to find her watching me, those eyes wide. For just a second, her defenses are gone again. She looks vulnerable, exposed, like she knows exactly what I"m talking about, like maybe it"s been that way for her too. Her body is rigid, her unease obvious, and I know I"ve got to pull back before she really does run, but I can"t think of a single fucking word to lighten the mood.

Not one.

If I"m being honest with myself, I don"t really want to lighten it, anyway. I want her as off-balanced as she makes me. I don"t know any other way to get through to her and make her admit that this thing between us isn"t just fucking. It isn"t for me, and I"m pretty fucking certain it isn"t for her, either.

I just need her to give me a chance to prove it.