Chapter 6

6

E njell

Things looked and felt different in the light of day. I could admit my pain made it easier for me to open myself up to Dejvi. Though I didn't regret giving myself to him, I did feel guilty about having him in the home I shared with Gino. Even with Gino basically abandoning me and leaving me all the responsibilities of the household, that was a reflection of his character—not mine.

Thinking back on how he must have felt seeing me with another man on our security camera made me feel horrible. And feeling horrible made me feel stupid. He'd cheated on me just hours earlier, so I shouldn't have cared how the action made him feel. I also felt bad about the way Dejvi knocked him out. A part of me was glad he did it this morning, but now, it was another thing feeding my guilt. It was nice knowing Dejvi was capable of protecting me, but the love I still had for Gino hated the way things had played out.

I was glad when Dejvi left this morning and didn't mention seeing me again. I felt like he wouldn't take my desire to get myself together seriously. As much as I enjoyed him, I wasn't ready to get into another relationship. Being disconnected from him felt like a lack already, and that was how I knew we needed space.

When I told Dejvi that I started my day with a cup of coffee from Fifer's Coffee, I wasn't expecting him to lock that into his memory, let alone have flowers and his number waiting for me when I went to pick up my usual order. Knowing he'd purchased me a gift card that would pay for my coffee for the rest of the year made me feel taken care of in an intentional way no man had ever done before. It wasn't the money; it was the gesture, and I was absolutely smitten with Dejvi because of it.

Once I had my things settled in the booth I occupied, I opened the note that was pinned to the sticky note with his phone number.

One thing you'll learn about me… I'm the kind of man that always goes after and gets what he wants. You're my angel, and I want you. I understand you're fresh out of a relationship, so I won't press you. Even though I know where you live, I'm going to give you my number and wait on you. I hope you don't spend too much time holding on to that pain and let someone new love you. – Dejvi

My eyes watered as I reread his note. I didn't think anything could top the gesture, but his words certainly did.

"Wow," I whispered, holding the note to my chest. I had no earthly idea where this man had come from, but I was so grateful for him. After securing the note in my wallet, I powered on my laptop, then took a few sips of my latte.

I received a FaceTime request from my sister, and though I wanted to ignore it, I answered. She had called me twice yesterday, and I told her I needed some space. If I didn't answer now, there was no doubt in my mind that Malaysia Dior Johnson would soon be tracking my location and coming to me. As soon as I accepted the request and saw Malaysia's pretty face, I smiled. She was my first best friend and a big chunk of my soul. There was nothing I wouldn't do for this girl, and I couldn't see my life without her. I prayed daily that we both lived long lives because I would be no good on this earth if she wasn't here.

"Hey, sissy," I greeted, pulling my AirPods out of my bag. "One sec."

She waited until I had them in to say, "What's going on with you?"

"Why do you think something is going on with me?"

"At first I thought you just didn't want to talk to me, but I called Dallas, and she said you were ignoring her too."

My eyes rolled slightly as I sat back in my seat. We had our own best friends, but because of how close Malaysia and I were, our friends had friendships too. I probably would never hang with her best friend alone, and she felt the same way about Dallas, but we all talked in our group chat and had a great time as a group.

"I didn't want to talk about it."

"Is this about Gino?"

"Yes."

"Oh God. Don't tell me he cheated?"

I wanted to laugh, but my eyes watered instead. "Why is that the first thing that comes to mind?"

Malay shrugged. "Because I've always felt like he couldn't be trusted. Did he cheat, or did he break up with you, because I know your ass wouldn't just break up with him." With a huff, I covered my face as my head shook, and she gasped. "Enjell! Did he cheat?"

Nodding, I lowered my hands. "Yeah, he did."

I took the time to tell her everything that transpired yesterday.

"Okay, so where he at now? Because he needs to get beat the fuck up for playing in your face like that."

As serious as the situation was, I couldn't help but laugh. My sister was serious. Between the two of us, I was the one who didn't get aggressive unless I absolutely had to. Malaysia was super protective and passionate, which sometimes was hard for people to handle. She was a big baby at heart until you messed with those she loved. I couldn't count on all my fingers and toes the amount of fights we got in over the years because of her big mouth. And after she'd beat someone up, she'd cry and feel bad about it. The girl was a true character, but I loved her ass.

"Actually… he kind of got beat up last night. Or this morning. Hmm…" My head tilted as I recalled the events of the morning. "Well, he got knocked the hell out."

The gasp she released before covering her mouth and the cackle that seeped from it made me laugh so hard I looked around to see if anyone was paying me any attention.

"Okay, wait! I'm missing some'. Start from the beginning. Who knocked him out?"

I told her about Dejvi—from the picture to us eating together and him wiping away countless tears—to things turning physical when we made it back to my place. When I got to the part about him wanting to play in my pussy but mentioning needing to wash his hands, she said, "Ooh, we love a considerate king. Yaaassss to him not wanting to throw off your PH balance!"

"Malaysia!" I whisper-yelled before laughing.

"What! I bet his cum tasted good and healthy too. He probably be putting chlorophyll in his water, chile."

We both hooted and laughed heartily before I wiped away happy tears, grateful I was feeling good enough to talk about this today. I knew she was going to make me laugh, but I also knew she'd tell me she told me so. She and my parents didn't want me with Gino for as long as I had been, because we were on different pages. I was waiting for those words to spill, but I was grateful for the laughs too.

"I'm not about to play with you today."

"That's fine. I bet if you go to his house, you gon' see it, though. But back to the knockout…"

"Oh, yes! So we moved from the car to the shower and the guest bed. By the time we were done, his clothes were washed and dry, but I told him he could just spend the night since it was so late." I took a deep breath, stilling myself from the recollection of what had already happened. "So we're sleep, and he wakes me up because he heard something. Gino comes charging down the hall talking about he can't believe I had another man in his house."

"Like he didn't tell you he was leaving it and the bills to you," she interrupted to say.

"Right! That's what I reminded him of. I told him to get out, and he said if anyone was getting out, it was Dejvi. He tried to walk up on him, and Dejvi punched him. Then he picked Gino up like a ragdoll and carried him to his car. He put his key to the house on the dresser and got back in the bed like nothing had happened. The man went right back to sleep in a matter of seconds."

"I know that's right! Not this man was in Gino's house and put him out of it. I'm too tickled."

Even though we laughed about it, I told her that I did feel bad. Even with Gino deciding to move, he'd been the one paying the bills, and both of our names were on the lease. When I expressed that to her, she followed up with, "I know that's your respect and consideration, but you owe him none. He's moved on, not caring about you and how you feel, so you need to do the same. Change the password to your cameras and get those locks changed."

"I am. He's already said for me to get the locks changed when he's done getting his things out."

"And he's not leaving you any money for bills?"

My head shook. "No, which is why I need to get off the phone and start looking for a job."

"Okay, well, let me know if you need anything. Are you going back to nursing? I hated you quit because of him, but I've enjoyed having you back home."

I shrugged, feeling the same way. I absolutely loved what I did but hated being away from my family for weeks and months at a time. Not working was cool because of that, but I regretted not making my own money for so long.

"I'm not sure, sissy. The money would be great, but I don't think I want to go back to traveling."

Very briefly, I considered what I'd always wanted to do—become a chef. Like Dejvi, I went the safe route with my career. My mom was a nurse, and I followed in her footsteps. I meal prepped and did catering while in school but hadn't ever considered taking cooking for a living seriously. One thing I commended entrepreneurs for was their drive and commitment. I couldn't wrap my mind around my money being dependent on the support of others. I needed a stable salary, which was why I couldn't believe I'd quit and trusted Gino to take care of me. Now look at where that had gotten me.

We talked for a few minutes more before ending the call, and I started the dreaded job search. Even if I didn't find a nursing position, I'd take whatever I could find that would allow me to pay my bills. More than anything, I was just glad I was able to tell my sister about Gino without having to hear I told you so.

"Well, baby, I hate to say it but…"

"Then don't say it," Malay said before Mama could even finish.

"Malay," I whispered, gripping her arm.

"What? You don't need to hear that we were right about Gino. You know."

My eyes rolled as I stood and shook my head. Going into the kitchen to get something to drink, I heard them going back and forth. Mama made it clear she wanted to bring the issue to light so I wouldn't make the same mistake again, while Malaysia felt like my hurt and bruised ego would be lesson enough. Daddy just wanted to know my plan of action because that was what he'd always been—a man of logic and action. To his credit, he held space for the emotions of the women he loved. He'd let us cry and vent but, immediately after, go into fixer mode.

More than anything, I wanted Dejvi. I wanted to be in his arms and on his lips. When I was with him, nothing else really mattered. That wasn't reality, though. That was a fairy tale, and I couldn't afford to stay in that world. So, as much as I wanted to reach out to him, I drank my drink and stuffed down my feelings, then went back into the family room.