Chapter 1

1

E njell (Angel)

Mid-August

The moment Gino stepped foot into our home, I was on him. Pressing him against the wall by the front door, I grinned at him as I lowered to my knees.

"Whoa, wait." Chuckling nervously, Gino gripped my shoulders. "What're you doing, Enjell?"

"About to give my man a very welcoming return home."

His fingers wrapped around my wrists, stopping me from unzipping his pants. I looked up at him as my excitement dulled. Head tilted, I stared into his hazel eyes. My brows wrinkled and head shook as I tried yet again, and yet again, he stopped me.

"Okay, I'm confused," I admitted, palming his thighs. "You've been complaining about how stressed you've been lately and how boring things have gotten since you've been working so much, and here I am trying to spice things up and relieve your stress… yet you're rejecting me."

Gino's head hung briefly as he released a tired sigh. "I'm not trying to reject you, baby. Not intentionally."

"Then what exactly are you doing?" I tugged at his pants softly. "Why can't I have you?"

His hands slipped down his face, and my heart raced. "I need to take a shower. I was actually coming home so we could talk."

Standing, I released a low chuckle. "You need to shower?"

"Yeah." His eyes darted across the bare hallway. "I've been at work."

"That's never stopped us from having sex before." I reached for his pants again. His hands gripped my wrists, and he used them to gently press me into the wall. "Gino, what are you hiding?"

With eyes squeezed shut, his nostrils flared. "I was with someone else."

For a while, I stared up at his handsome face. It was difficult for me to process what the man that I'd been with for three years had just said. Did he just admit to cheating on me?

"I don't understand," I whispered, sounding far more na?ve than I should have.

Jerking against him caused Gino to release my hands. This time when I unzipped his pants, he let me. I lowered his boxers, finding his shaft covered with the dried essence of another woman. Scoffing, I ran my finger down my nose, unable to pull my eyes away. This man had really cheated on me.

"I… it wasn't… I didn't plan to."

That got a full laugh out of me. "How didn't you plan to cheat on me, Gino? How'd your dick land in another woman's pussy?"

"It was Regina," he muttered. "She was talking about how she wasn't sure I was cut out for the new team she was building for the marketing department and that I needed to show her how bad I wanted the position. One thing led to another, and we had sex." Gino shrugged. "I got the promotion." His laugh was bitter. "That's what I was coming to talk to you about. It's twice the pay, but I'll have to move to Virginia. So… technically, I didn't cheat, because we were going to have to break up anyway."

"That's your logic? You cheat on me with your boss for a promotion, and your reasoning for it not being cheating is that you were going to break up with me anyway?"

"Enjell…" He tried to take my hands into his, but I pulled them away. "We aren't married, and we have no children. There's no reason for me to ask you to come with me knowing this promotion will leave me with even less time. I didn't want you to find out about the sex. I was… just gonna break up with you and leave. But now that you do know, I'm hoping we can end things amicably."

As if he was done with the conversation, Gino headed down the hall. I was so caught off guard by how the afternoon had taken a turn that I had absolutely nothing to say. My knees grew weak, and I slid down the wall as my eyes watered. I wasn't sure what I was more hurt over—the fact that he'd cheated or the fact that he didn't seem to feel bad about it at all.

I wanted to be angry… to rage on him and make him regret hurting me. Truth was, Gino wouldn't care. He'd finally gotten the promotion he'd been working toward, even if he got it by sleeping his way to the top instead of truly earning it. He wouldn't care about my feelings, not while he was still high from his victory. Gino had always been self-absorbed. That was one of his biggest flaws and the reason we weren't married with children.

He wanted to advance to a certain place before proposing and starting our family, so I agreed, wasting three years of my life in the process. Now, it was over, and I'd have nothing to show for it. Wiping my face, I stood and made my way down the hall to our bedroom. The last thing I wanted to do was let him see me in a moment of weakness. He didn't care about doing something that he knew would hurt me if I found out, and I wouldn't dare let him see my tears.

I made my way straight into the closet while he showered. He called my name repeatedly, but I ignored him, so he yelled what he wanted to say instead.

"You can keep the house since I'm moving, but you're gonna have to start taking care of the bills. I leave Monday. I'll get my things out over the weekend. Just don't have the locks changed until after I'm done, aight?"

He said that as if leaving me this house was a gift. It was a burden. For the last two years of our relationship, Gino took care of everything financially. I worked as a traveling nurse, and because that meant a lot of my time was spent in different states, he insisted I quit so he could take care of me. In that moment, I thought that was a sign we'd get married. He was proving himself to be a provider. I admired that. Now, I hated that I'd given up so much of my life and independence to be in a relationship with him.

How in the hell was I going to find a job and cover my expenses by the first of the month? Just when I didn't think his cheating, leaving, and breaking up with me could get any worse, he reminded me of how dependent I'd been on him. Resisting the urge to grab a belt and light into his skin while he was in the shower, I stormed toward it. I wouldn't show him my sadness, but I'd give him all my anger.

Yanking the glass door open, I ignored him complaining about me letting the steam out.

"I trusted you with me." I seethed. "I loved you. I-I was… happy with you. And you come in here with your dirty dick ass speaking casually about cheating and leaving me as if what we had over the last three years meant nothing to you."

His eyes rolled toward the rain showerhead as he huffed. "You know I love you, Enjell, and I care about your feelings. That's why I wasn't going to tell you about me and Regina. I'm truly sorry about cheating. Like I said, it wasn't planned. As far as us breaking up is concerned, I'm doing what's best for both of us. My career is my main priority right now, and it's not fair for me to uproot your life further to follow me to Virginia." Pausing, he stepped under the water to wash the soap from his skin. "I'm doing this because I love you. When you get out your feelings about Regina, you're gonna realize that."

His nonchalance continued to infuriate me, and I knew I needed to get far, far away from this man. I dressed quickly yet comfortably in a gray sweatsuit before leaving my home with no clear destination in mind. I hadn't even made it to the end of the street good before tears were blurring my eyes. There was no remorse, no empathy, no love. There was no way this man loved me the way he claimed to.

I couldn't lose myself in Gino's betrayal, because I had an even bigger problem. It was the middle of the month, which meant I had two weeks before rent and the rest of my bigger bills were due. Soothing my broken heart could wait. I had to come up with a plan of action now.