Chapter 4

4

N eko

Malorie seemed to be in better spirits when she left, but I still wanted to make sure we were okay. I didn't want her time here to be awkward, and I didn't want her to think she had to avoid me. When I said that shit earlier, I regretted it as soon as it came out. I could tell by the way her body shrunk that I didn't express myself correctly. In no way was I trying to suggest she was a ho or dumb, but I could understand why she thought that.

The couch being delivered when it was felt like grace from God. It softened her toward me for sure, but things were still a little awkward before I left for work. Since I knew Malik was going straight to one of his women's house, I called Malorie to see if she wanted me to bring dinner home. She could cook but I knew it would get me some brownie points if I brought her favorite food home. It took four rings, but she eventually answered.

"Yes, Neko?"

The sound of her sweet voice made me smile. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No. I was supposed to grab drinks with Chrissy, so I was going to eat then, but she has to work late."

"You want me to bring you something? Or we can go to that new Korean barbecue joint that just opened up."

In her silence, I heard her smile. "I would love to go there."

"Cool. I'm on my way to the house. I'll be there in like fifteen minutes."

"Yay! Okay."

After disconnecting the call, I chuckled. I had a slight blueprint when it came to Malorie, and that's what I was trying to say this morning. The words just didn't come out right. I knew there was so much more to her that I didn't know, and I wanted to learn those parts—even though I wasn't sure that was the wisest thing to do. There was a chance I'd want her more if we became more intimate, even if just mentally, but for her… I was willing to take that chance.

We'd been at the restaurant long enough for us to get our first round of meat and vegetables. While Malorie was more experimental, I kept it basic with steak, shrimp, and pork belly. As she sipped her mixed drink I said, "I know I did already, but I wanted to apologize for this morning."

Her eyes rolled softly as she waved me off. "It's fine, Neko. It is what it is."

"No, it's not. I don't want you to think I think negatively of you."

Her brows wrinkled and mouth parted slightly in confusion as she set her chop sticks down. "Why does it matter?"

"I value and care about you. You don't know that?"

"Well… yeah. That's why I said it is what it is. I can't change your perception of me. If you think I'm easy…"

"I don't think you're easy, sweet girl." I interrupted her and softly made that clear. "What I meant was that I know how you choose men and what you go for, and I also know you, so if I wanted to date you, I could have you. I don't have to wish you found me attractive. If I felt like you wanted me and we could be together, that would be our reality."

A slow smile spread her lips before she swallowed hard.

"Oh," she almost whispered. "That's definitely not where I thought you were going with that." We shared a soft chuckle. "I'm sorry for getting so defensive. It's just, my feelings are all over the place right now and I'm feeling dumb for choosing yet another fucked up man."

"You have nothing to apologize for or feel bad about." I paused briefly and put a few pieces of our meat on the grill. "I do wonder how you end up picking the men you do though."

Malorie released a long breath as she picked up a few pieces of kimchi. "It's not intentional. Not to make excuses, but my daddy left before he could teach me anything about relationships. I wish I could say I knew what to look for based on his relationship with my mom, but I don't. I mean, I never saw them arguing and stuff, but they kept their romance kind of hidden. When they were with me and Malik, I just saw my parents, you know? And he's definitely not a man I can look to for relationship advice because he's toxic as hell. He has no desire to be faithful and commit to one woman. Maybe he could teach me what not to look for, but not what I should." She shrugged as her expression saddened. "I don't know, Neko. It's just hard."

I hadn't taken into consideration how losing her father would have affected her romantic relationships. My father made it his priority to teach us how to be men from a young age, and he showed us how to love and treat a woman through our mother, but I knew not all parents were like that.

When it came to their daughters, some men wanted to shield them so much that they did more harm than good because they didn't let them date and show them the way. And in some instances, like Malorie's, her father was out of the picture and unable to give the guidance she needed.

"I know my pops will never be able to replace yours, but I'll share him with you," I offered, getting a smile out of her. "And… if you wanted me to put you up on game, I'd be more than willing to." A thought passed through my mind, and I tried to toss it to the side. However, the more I looked at her, the more I wanted to expand. "I could also take you on a couple of dates."

Her mouth snapped shut and head tilted, and her confused expression was as cute as it always was.

"Platonic," I continued, lifting my hands and tongs in the process. "Just to see how you come, you know? And to also give you some tips. Just as friends."

Because I knew this would be the only way we'd be able to date, I was hoping she said yes.

My eyes scanned her honey brown face before focusing on her tight, slanted eyes. They looked smokey and were the first thing I fell in love with when I looked at her. Her eyes were hypnotic. Once I looked in them, it was hard for me to look away.

"Hmm…" Her mouth twisted to the side. "I don't know, Neko. You are the only one out of Malik's crew that seems to respect women and have decent relationships, but he would have a fit if we dated."

"Yeah, so let's call it an experiment then. I know he doesn't want any of us to date you and I respect that. I want to help you, though."

She thought about it for a while before nodding. "Okay, but we can't tell him. And I want to talk to Mr. Peterson too. I know I'm too young to give up on love but with all these failed relationships, that's kind of where I'm at with it."

"We definitely don't want that. I got you, and I'll tell my pops too. The next relationship you have will be better. And regardless of what he does or how it ends, I want to make sure you understand you are not responsible for the behavior of others. All you are responsible for is how you show up, who you choose, and what you tolerate. That's it."

Her smile was soft as she stood and slid into my side of the booth. With her arms around my neck, she kissed my cheek and muttered, "Thank you."

Between her closeness and the warmth of her body, I had to beg my dick not to react.