Chapter 19

19

M alorie

Four Years Later

I knocked on the door then took a few steps back. Malik had no idea I was coming over, and I was so excited to be able to surprise him. The last four years had been a whirlwind. While I was still prioritizing myself, I started dating and used those experiences to learn what I wanted and didn't want—who I wanted and didn't want. I also started therapy to work on grieving my father properly. It took some time and effort, but I started building the community I'd always wanted, and it included not just friends from school but social clubs as well. The only thing missing was my man… and there was only one man I wanted—Neko Peterson.

The night Malik gave us his blessing to date, I turned it down. In that moment, I was too triggered from losing him to even consider trying to date Neko. Even though I knew in my heart we wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt each other, I wasn't willing to risk it. Now, I was hoping, if we both were single, that we could actually try to be in a relationship.

Because the truth was, out of the last four years of me dating several different kinds of men, one thing was made clear—my heart ached for Neko. I tried to convince myself for a while that it was because he got away but that wasn't the truth. I didn't want him because I couldn't have him; I wanted him because he was truly the one for me.

As the door unlocked, I held my breath. It felt like it had been forever since I'd seen my brother. When I first started graduate school, we talked and saw each other regularly. Surprising us all, Malik found a woman that tamed him. Karma demanded justice, though, and he got his heart broken. He fell in love with Stacy and wanted a serious relationship, and she played the hell out of my brother. All it took was one heartbreak for Malik to get his shit together.

After Stacy, he stopped cheating. If he got that urge, he broke up with a woman to be single. Two years ago, he fell in love again. This time with a woman who returned the sentiment. They were married after eight months, and he had a set of twins that I couldn't wait to love on regularly. Honestly, they were the biggest reason why I'd come back to Rose Valley Hills. I wanted to be there for them. They deserved to have as much family around as possible.

When Malik opened the door and saw me, his eyes widened and mouth dropped. Swooping me into his arms, he twirled me around as I giggled.

"Damn. I'm so fucking happy to see you, Sis!"

"I missed you! Where my babies at?"

"In there sleep. Please don't wake them up."

I laughed as he set me down. "They've been driving you crazy, huh?"

His head shook as he sighed and rubbed his stomach. "Man, say. I ain't even gon' hold ya. They been wearing my ass out. Plus Lydia ain't here and I've been with them all day. I wouldn't trade time with them for anything in the world though."

"I feel you. Well, I'm here, so if you need help with anything just let me know."

He looked around me. "Where your bags at?"

"At the hotel until my apartment is ready Monday."

His head shook adamantly. "Mal, no—"

"There's no way I'm staying here, Malik."

"This is your home."

"This is your family's home. You're raising your babies here with your wife. I'm good, brother. I swear."

He eyed me skeptically for a few seconds before hugging me again. We walked inside, careful to keep our voices down so we wouldn't wake up the twins.

"Even with you being tired, you look really good and happy," I complimented. "Fatherhood looks good on you. Love in general."

"I want this for you, Sis." He took my hand into his. "I feel connected to Pops because I'm a father now. I can never have him again, but I can be to my babies what he was to me, and that keeps him in my mind and on my heart daily. On some WWVD, what would Vincent do type shit. You deserve this too. To love and be loved. Tell me I didn't fuck that up for you."

My mouth opened and closed, but no words would come out. "What do you mean?"

He gripped my elbows, as if he feared his words would make me want to leave. "I mean… both you and Neek are still single after all these years. Hell, I don't even recognize the way he moves when it comes to women these days. I feel like I might have broken him in some way. I feel like I kept y'all apart and that's why y'all are still single… because y'all were supposed to be together."

Blinking rapidly, I avoided his eyes. I certainly wasn't expecting him to say that. Gently, I pulled myself away from him and made my way to the kitchen, hoping he still kept the alcohol in the same place. A sigh of relief escaped me when I found it in the cabinet. I pulled down a bottle of tequila and took a big swig, not even bothering to pour any in a glass. After wiping my mouth, I sat at the kitchen table.

"What do you mean you don't recognize the way he moves?"

His mouth twisted to the side and head tilted. Malik didn't respond right away, actually thinking about the words that came out of his mouth, which had been one of the biggest changes in him over the years.

"Maybe I should say I recognize them… just not as his traits. He's more like the crew and less like himself—especially since his big brother came home. The way he handles women now… it's like his heart is hardened." His head shook. "I'm just glad you decided not to date him. How he's moving, if he did this to you, I'd try to bury my best friend, Mal."

My heart dropped. Could Neko have changed that much over the years? I wouldn't say I regretted taking time away from him because I needed it for myself. Now that I was sure I wanted him, regardless of how anyone felt about it, it seemed it wouldn't be as easy as I thought it would be for us to reconnect. Malik didn't seem to have much faith in Neko anymore, but I did. Regardless of how he'd changed, I owed it to both of us to continue with my plan to get the guy. All I could do was pray the guy I got was the one I'd fallen in love with years ago.