Chapter 17

17

M alorie

One Year Later

Nervous wasn't the right word to describe how I felt. Today would be the first time I sat down with my brother since everything went down. He meant it when he said he was done with me and Neko and hadn't dealt with either of us since. Ma tried to get us together, but he respectfully declined. The one time we did happen to be in the same space as each other, he gave me a hug and told me he loved me but that was it.

The past year had been spent with me adjusting to healing and becoming more aware of myself. At twenty-three, I understood I wasn't done growing and changing, but I wanted to better know and love the version of me I was today. For a couple of months, I stayed in Memphis with Ma, then I went back to Nashville for school. I hadn't been in a serious relationship nor did I date. It had really been about my healing and getting to know myself, and I was at peace with that.

I went to see Ma and Naomi and Michael as much as I could, and they even came to see me. They kept me updated on what was happening with Neko since we weren't speaking. I felt like that was for the best, because I didn't know if I could ever be just his friend. Seemed it was best for us to be nothing at all.

Ma was getting married today, and before she walked down the aisle, she wanted Malik and me to sit down and talk. Of course I was willing, and to my surprise, he agreed too. Even though I wanted us to be back on good terms, I'd made peace with his need for space. I'd intentionally done something that I knew would upset him and I had to deal with the consequence of that, even though I wasn't expecting it to hurt him as much as it did.

Once Ma was ready, she shooed me out of the room and across the hall to meet Malik. He looked dapper in his white suit. At the sound of me closing the door, he shoved his phone into his pocket.

"Hey." I spoke.

"Wassup, Sis?"

"I miss you."

He smiled with the left side of his mouth. "I miss you too. I never meant for this much time to pass, you feel me?"

"I get it. Life gets in the way and if you don't prioritize talking to someone… you don't."

He didn't respond immediately. Malik shifted his weight from one foot to the other and sighed. "It's a million niggas out here, Sis. More. Why him? Why one of the very few that I made off limits for you? Why my best fucking friend?"

I swallowed hard as my eyes watered. "Think about what you just said, Leek. If I could have literally any man I wanted and I chose him… that has to count for something. I've always been attracted to him and that attraction turned into admiration and respect. My crush and infatuation turned into love. After Kingston, Neko showed up for me in ways no other man ever had. Not just with the way he treated me and prioritized me, but the way he took care of me. He was always so intentional with what he did for me and I just… I couldn't deny how I felt anymore. I honestly didn't think it would feel like that big of a betrayal to you, and I really do apologize. It was never my intention to hurt you or to come between the two of you."

"Do you really love him?"

"I do, but I love you too. You're my brother and I don't want to lose you. That's why we called things off."

He chuckled and tilted his head. His tongue rolled over his cheek as he stared at me. "The night you came home sad because things ended—"

"That was him. We called things off. That kiss at the house… it was just… residual emotions. He'd given us the painting and I was open, but we were done at that point. We both chose you."

Malik's chest deflated as he looked away, and I took that as a chance to step closer.

"Neko didn't want to hurt you or betray you. He just wanted to love me. When he realized he couldn't do that and not force me to have to choose… he ended it." I took another step in his direction. "I know we can't take away the hurt of our betrayal, but I'm asking you to forgive us and fix things with him, Malik. He was the one who wanted to do the right thing. That's why he didn't run away from your punishment. Please don't keep him out of your life because of me."

I closed the space between us, and he looked down at me. With a frown, he stared at me with watery eyes.

"I never wanted them to hurt you. I never wanted to have to hurt them because they hurt you. I never wanted to lose them because of you. Especially him. I was so close to him and Michael and if y'all fucking off ruined that, it was going to be a huge loss for me. It has been a huge loss for me."

"It doesn't have to be." I grabbed his hand, surprised he didn't pull away. "Malik, you know if you go to him to reconcile, he will. Neko and I are done. There's no reason for the two of you to be."

"You promise it's over?"

Nodding, I fought my tears. "I promise."

He pulled me into his arms and told me he missed us both. With a giggle, I assured him that he didn't have to miss me anymore and challenged him to fix things with Neko so he wouldn't have to miss him either.