Chapter 15

15

M alorie

That Weekend

I'd prepared a feast for Ma's arrival. Her favorites were on the menu, and as devious as it sounded, cooking good was my attempt to give her a reason to come back home more often. Fried chicken, collard greens, candied yams, mac and cheese, and cornbread were on the table. Caramel cake awaited us for dessert.

It was Ma's bright idea that Neko join us for dinner. He was on his way out when she was on her way in. His insisting on letting us enjoy our family time was nonsense to her, because to her, he was family too. So I was forced to sit across from his fine ass knowing just days ago he ended things between us and ripped my heart to pieces.

Ma led the small talk. I think she could sense something was off between Malik and me. I'd gotten over what he said that night. It was simply the fact that I couldn't have Neko because of him that was weighing on me. I tried to act normal because Malik had no idea what was going on, but that was easier said than done.

As we finished our meal, Ma said, "So, I did want to see my babies, but I also wanted to tell you something."

"Wassup?" Malik asked.

Since I already knew what she was going to say, I remained silent.

"I've been seeing someone," she said carefully, looking at us both. "His name is Pete. He's a principal, and he's really kind. It's, it's not serious, but I wanted to know how the two of you felt about me dating. Whenever you're ready, I'd like for you to meet him."

Malik and I looked at each other before he spoke. "You know how I feel about that. I didn't want you dating because I didn't want to feel like I was letting someone take Pops place. But I know just because I feel like that, that doesn't mean you should be single for the rest of your life. If you like this guy and he treats you well, I'll meet him. Just know if he fu—"

"Aht, watch your mouth," Ma demanded, lifting her hand with a smile. Her eyes landed on me. "And what about you, Mal?"

I shrugged and smiled. "Daddy would want you to be happy. If this is what makes you happy, neither of us will stand in your way."

The feel of Neko's eyes on me caused me to look down.

If only it were this simple for Malik to approve of us.

When it was time for dessert, Neko offered to help with the dishes. Once we were alone in the kitchen he asked, "Are you okay?"

Nodding, I set the dishes in the sink, then headed to the freezer to grab the ice cream. "I'm fine. I'm happy for her. She deserves this."

He stepped close, voice low as he said, "You do too."

Our fingers connected. His thumb caressing my hand caused my nipples to harden. Looking up at him, I lost myself in his dark eyes.

"Yeah. Just not from you, right?"

"Aye!" Malik called from the dining room, and Neek put space between us. "Put my cake in the microwave for a few seconds, Sis."

My eyes rolled as I smiled. He swore he could still boss me around just because he was older than me. "Anything else?"

"And a lil shot of whiskey."

"Your stomach gon' be tore up drinking brown with this cake and ice cream," Neko said as he left the kitchen.

While I busied myself with cutting cake for everyone, Ma walked into the kitchen. Her arm wrapped around me, and I appreciated the embrace.

"How are you, baby?" She took the knife from my hand. "Really?"

"I'm fine."

Her head shook and mouth twisted to the side. "Your spirit seems off. Your smile isn't reaching your eyes."

Swallowing back my emotion, I sighed. "Just… a little sad, and that's okay. I'm going to sit with my feelings until they release me. I'll be fine, I promise." That was something else Naomi taught me. She taught me running from feelings and lessons made you prone to repeating them.

"Okay, but if there's anything I can do, please let me know."

I wanted to tell her to make her son let me be with his best friend, but I was sure that was something even she couldn't do.

After everyone had their cake, Ma said, "Neko has a surprise for the two of you."

"Hmm?" I said, looking from Malik to Neko.

"He called me last night and told me you'd been missing me and wanting me to be more present." Immediately, my eyes started to water. "I questioned why he was telling me that instead of either of you, then I said maybe you didn't feel safe or comfortable telling me. I have been focused on my healing, that I can admit. A part of me feels as if I used the both of you being grown when your father left here to justify why I wasn't present for you."

"Ma, you don't—"

Her head shook and she lifted her hand to silence Malik. "I should have been more present, end of story. I will be from here on out. I promise. Now y'all hurry up and finish your cake. I want to see this surprise from Neek."

I tried to keep my eyes off Neko but that was proving to be impossible. The fact that he'd done what was best for me without me even asking hit a place in my heart no other man had been able to reach. Regardless of my fear of being honest with my mother, I did want a closer relationship with her and my brother. I would have never expressed that, but he did. If I was able to have that relationship with them again, I would owe it to him.

When we were done with the cake and ice cream, Neko excused himself to get the gift. He had us all cover our eyes until he returned. When he did, he was holding a huge painting of my family. It was aged to what all three of us looked like now, and he'd included Daddy. For a while, all I could do was sit there and stare at it as tears streamed down my cheeks.

After Malik wiped away his tears, he stood and hugged Neko. Mama did the same. I'd planned to, but when I stood, I grew weak to my knees. A sob escaped me, wrecking my body to the point I couldn't even stand. I didn't have to look up to know whose arms were holding me up—they belonged to Neko—just like I belonged to him.

He assured them that I'd be okay and helped me to my room. After wiping my face with a cool towel he asked, "You want a piece of candy?" and all I could do was laugh. It was so funny because at funerals my aunt would always give anyone who cried a piece of candy. I'm not sure what sucking a hard piece of candy did for the nerves, but it somehow made us stop crying. Sniffling, I wiped a single tear and sat on the couch.

"I think I'll be okay. I don't think I ever really just cried for him, you know? I've been in denial so long."

"I wasn't trying to trigger you, mama. I was hoping it made you smile."

"The picture is beautiful, and I needed that purge. I can't live in denial about my father forever, babe. If I can't accept that loss and grieve it, my heart will forever be shattered. Because that's what losing him did—it fucking shattered me. And I've just been… taking the pieces of my heart and tossing them at men like darts, over and over again. But they never stick. They, they never stuck until you." My eyes watered again, but this time, for a different reason. "With you… they stuck. And it felt like you gave me yours. It felt like I was healing, and now that's over."

"It doesn't have to be," he assured me, cupping my cheek. "With me or without, you can still heal, sweet girl. You know that, right?"

"I know but…"

"But what?" he asked gently but with urgency as he stared into my eyes.

"I feel like I wouldn't have started this journey without you. I want you to be a part of it."

"I can be… as your friend. If that's okay."

"What choice do I have, Neko? I have no choice but for it to be okay."

His hand lowered from my cheek to my hand. Our eyes remained locked, and our mouths somehow gravitated toward one another. What started as a slow, sweet kiss, quickly became deep, and hard, and passionate. And I don't think either of us planned to stop… until Neko's body was literally ripped from mine.

"Malik, no!" I yelled as his fist connected with the side of Neko's face.

"I knew it!" Malik roared, prepared to hit Neko again. "I fucking knew it!"

As caught off guard as we were, Neko was quick to defend himself. He blocked the hit and lowered himself, lifting Malik off his feet and slamming him onto the carpeted floor.

"Oh my God!" Ma yelled. "Y'all stop this right now!"

"I ain't about to fight you, nigga!" Neko yelled, using his arms and legs to keep Malik's arms on the floor.

"You been fucking my sister, bruh? I told you to stay away from her! How could you betray me!"

"You think I meant for this to happen?"

"How the fuck did you not! Falling in love with her wasn't on accident. Because she the one, right? She the one you told me about at Brewed and Booked ."

Defeat seemed to wash over Neko. His shoulders slouched and grip on Malik loosened. The moment he leaned against the couch, Malik shot up and lifted his fist again, but Ma grabbed his arm and tugged him out of the room.

"I'll uh, I'll talk to him," I assured Neko before heading out of the room.

"Nah, Ma," Malik said, head shaking as he paced. "I'm not tryna hear that shit. He gots to fucking go."

"That's your best friend…"

"No it's not! My best friend would not have done the one damn thing I asked my friends not to do. I told them all she was off limits, and he goes after her, out of all people?"

"Baby, there has to be a reason—"

"No reason will make his betrayal make sense. Hers too. I don't want to hear shit from either of them." He looked my way and took steps back. "You and Neko need to be out of my house by the time I get back, Sis. On Pops."

"It's my house too," I whispered, tears leaking. "You said that."

"Fine, then I'll leave. Either way, I'm not tryna be around either one of you."

"Come on, Leek. You don't mean that."

Ignoring Ma, he stormed out of the living room and grabbed his keys by the garage door. Ma's questions went in one ear and out of the other as I stared at the door my brother had gone out of. This was what I wanted to avoid—him being angry and hurt over something that made me and Neko so happy. Worse, he'd found out after it was over. Now, it felt like we ended it for nothing.