Chapter 20

Odd how the world could change so completely in such a short amount of time. True, it had changed when Sarah first kissed him, but now — now that they had made love, had become one for a single ineffable moment that he could never have even comprehended before this past hour — everything was different.

Of course, they had attempted to be natural with one another afterward, had kissed and gone in the shower to clean up, then gotten dressed, but he knew his love for her before had been a weak thing compared to what it was now. It was a bright, hot star burning in his chest, the searing realization that he would do anything…anything at all…to make sure she was always safe and happy.

And that included reassuring her that the horses would make their way home without a problem and that all the picnic items they had left behind would be taken care of. Even though it might have seemed an anticlimax to some, they went out into the garden afterward to collect the fruit and vegetables they wanted for that night's dinner. In a way, Abdul thought that was perfect, because to him it solidified their bond, let both of them know that passion would always be part of their existence, but that it was also all right to do the simple things as well.

Of course, that did not prevent them from returning to his bedroom after they were done in the garden, and for them to explore one another's bodies all over again, in a more leisurely fashion this time, as if they both understood that there was no need for haste now.

Nor was there in their dinner preparation, or in the lovemaking that followed, this time lit not just by candlelight, but by the lightning flashes of a storm that had come in near sunset, bringing with it thunder and sudden rain.

Sarah slept afterward, but of course, he did not require slumber. He lay there for a while, listening to her soft breaths, and realized he was thirsty.

The simplest thing would have been to summon a glass of water, and yet some impulse made him slide out from under the sheets and gather up his pants, although he left his tunic behind. And when he went into the kitchen, he saw at once he was not alone, that one of the elders, Idris, stood there by the island.

Abdul stopped where he was, eyes narrowing. "Are you here to lecture me, elder? For I find that somewhat disingenuous of you, considering how you have taken a Chosen of your own."

The space was dim, lit only by the digital clock on the cooktop, but djinn — or those adjacent to them — did not need much illumination to see well. Idris's expression was somewhat rueful, and his voice sounded even enough as he replied, "No, you will get no lecture from me. We all know that you are not subject to our whims in the way that other djinn are. It is only…have you truly considered what it means to bring this woman into your life?"

It meant coming alive after so many centuries of merely existing, nothing more. It meant being glad to feel the sunshine on his face, to know that the woman he loved cared nothing about his surface scars, for she had somehow looked deep into his soul and seen something worth saving.

"Did you consider that same thing when you made Amber McCoy your Chosen?"

Idris smiled. "Of course I did…and I fought against what I knew was in my heart, for I could not see how it was possible that an elder of the djinn might bestow his heart upon a mortal. But at least I had seen how the djinn of the One Thousand had made it work with their human partners, so I believe I had more context in evaluating the situation than you, who have always lived apart from all others."

No more than the truth, Abdul supposed, and yet he found he did not much appreciate the elder's argument. "This was not something I sought," he said, then paused, eyes narrowing. "How is it that you know anything of what has passed between Sarah and myself when you know better than to interfere in my life?"

The elder's smile remained in place. "It was not that difficult to put the pieces together, especially after Zahrias al-Harith contacted us with concerns brought forth by the survivors in Los Alamos, who were missing one of their own. When we heard she had disappeared somewhere near Ghost Ranch, we knew you must be involved somehow. I will admit, though, that we feared you might have disposed of her outright for trespassing on your lands. However, we were able to detect a human presence here, so we knew she was still alive."

Abdul did not like hearing any of this, although he realized the elders' powers extended even beyond his, and he knew they could hear and see things that no ordinary djinn would ever be able to sense.

"How kind of you to stand back and not interfere," he replied, knowing there was an edge to his voice he could not quite conceal.

"It was not our place to interfere."

He returned, "Are you not interfering now?"

"No," Idris said. "I cannot prevent you from continuing on your current course of action. All I can do is counsel you to be wise in what you do. If you truly love this woman — "

"I do," Abdul cut in as he crossed his arms. "I love her in ways you cannot possibly begin to imagine."

The elder did not rise to the challenge in his voice, and instead replied in the same mild tone he'd already been using, "Does it surprise you for me to say that I am glad to hear it? All the same, it is also necessary for you to be honest with her. You must not conceal what you have done."

"What I did," Abdul said, voice more of a rasp than ever, "was in service to the djinn, and you know that as well as anyone."

"True," Idris allowed. "Still, it would not do for you to keep her ignorant of your past."

How self-righteous he looked standing there, so confident that the only way Abdul could have possibly earned Sarah's love was by lying to her!

Well, he was about to let Idris know that elders were most certainly not omniscient, especially in matters of the heart.

"She knows everything," he said flatly. "I did not hide anything from her, for that would not be fair, or wise. Does this surprise you?"

Judging by the way Idris's eyebrows had lifted at that confession, he was very much surprised, indeed. However, he responded in the same calm tone, "I would be lying if I said it did not. On the other hand, I know you are not one to prevaricate. However, even if this woman is here of her own free will and loves you despite everything, it would not do to forget that she has people who fear the worst has happened to her. Would you really have her stay here without letting them know she is safe? For while I and the other elders have forbidden them to come near this place, that will not stop them from worrying about her fate."

This was not something Abdul had given a great deal of thought to. Yes, the people of Los Alamos had mounted that ill-considered attempt to come in search of Sarah, and yet he had not thought there was any real attachment there. Surely she had never gone into depth about any friends or other people she cared about in the little mountain town.

But he had to admit she might have withheld such information in order to protect them, especially in her early days here when she had no reason at all to trust him.

"This is possible," he said. "And I will discuss it with Sarah when she awakes." He paused there, eyes narrowing, for he realized that he and Idris had been speaking in normal enough tones, and even though the house was large, their conversation still might have been sufficiently loud to rouse her.

"She will not wake," Idris said, and his eyes glinted in the darkness, as though he had guessed at what Abdul was thinking. "I have ensured that she will sleep deeply until morning. This was not a conversation I wished to have interrupted."

"Apparently," Abdul responded, his tone now dry. While he did not much appreciate the elder meddling in such a way, he could see why Idris might have believed such measures were necessary. "But since I have already told you that I will bring this up with her, I do not see any reason for you to press the issue further."

A brief silence, and then Idris inclined his head. "I will not. And although you might not believe me, I wish only the best for you and the woman who has gifted you her heart. Take care, Abdul."

The elder vanished then, and Abdul remained alone in the kitchen for a moment longer, staring at the spot where the other man had just stood. He had given his word, and that meant he would speak with Sarah in the morning.

All the same, he was not much looking forward to that conversation.

A resigned breath, and then he went to fetch himself a glass of water.

Sarah couldn't remember the last time she'd slept this deeply, or for so long.

Must be all that glorious sex, she thought with an inner grin, and turned over to see Abdul watching her, his expression much more serious than she thought the situation warranted.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, sitting up. She'd fallen asleep naked, and her loose hair mostly covered her naked breasts.

Mostly.

His gaze flicked to them, and even though she thought she detected a certain warmth in his eyes, he still looked almost stern as he said, "Everything is fine. But there are certain matters we need to discuss. Go ahead and shower, and then we can meet in the kitchen."

Somewhat mystified, she reached over the side of the bed so she could locate her blouse and panties from the day before and put them on, although she decided it wasn't worth the effort to put on her bra and jeans, not when she was only going to the other side of the house so she could get cleaned up.

As she went, she wondered what in the world could have happened to make Abdul look so grim this morning. He didn't seem angry, though, so she didn't think it was anything she had done.

At least, she hoped it wasn't. She'd gone to sleep thinking everything in their world was absolutely perfect, and now…

…well, now she wasn't sure exactly what was going on.

If she'd been intimate with a mortal man, she supposed how both of them might have been worried about an unexpected pregnancy resulting from all that abandoned lovemaking. She and Carson had always been careful, even though he'd grumbled about the condoms she'd made him wear.

But that wasn't a problem with djinn. From what she'd heard, they were very deliberate and in control of their reproduction, and she guessed it must be much the same with Abdul, or he would have said something to her.

No, something else was going on.

Luckily, she'd washed her hair the day before, so she skipped that step, instead showering quickly so she could get out and put on a dress, since that didn't take as much time as trying to figure out a top and jeans. Soon enough, she was finished and in the kitchen, where Abdul had already summoned some coffee for himself and a mug of tea for her.

"Thanks," she said as he handed it over. "Now do you want to tell me what's going on?"

For a moment he was silent, staring down into his mug of coffee as though it was the most important thing in the world. "Do you miss your friends in Los Alamos?" he asked abruptly, and she stared back at him, startled.

"Where did that come from?"

"Do you?"

It seemed he'd gotten a bug in his ear about something. Was he regretting their intimacy, and was now trying to figure out if she would rather go back where she came from?

Even though it was a gut punch to say the words, she forced them out anyway.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

At once, his expression softened, and he set down his coffee so he could reach out and touch her cheek. "No, of course not. You are more important to me than anything in the world. It is only that I wonder if I am being selfish by having you here with me and away from everyone else you know."

Clearly, it was time to set the record straight. She set her mug down on the island and grasped both his hands in hers. "Abdul, I'm right where I want to be. Maybe we could have handled this differently, but don't you ever think — not for one second — that you're being selfish. If anything, I'm the selfish one."

His brows lifted. "I am not sure that is an accurate assessment of the situation. Why on earth would you believe such a thing?"

"Because — "Sarah paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. Wasn't it selfish to be living here in luxury, utterly happy, while everyone in Los Alamos was working their butts off to keep the community going? She'd always done her part to pitch in while she was there, but she'd also never had quite the rah-rah attitude about being part of the last outpost of humanity, or whatever. That said, she knew she'd left people behind who must be worried about her, even if it didn't seem as though they'd tried very hard to track down where she'd gone. "Because I suppose I screwed up, in a way. I should have done something to let them know I was all right. Then again, maybe it's not something I need to worry about, since I get the feeling they didn't even come looking for me."

His fingers tightened around hers, although he didn't let go. "I fear that is my fault."

Sarah blinked at him. "What are you trying to say?"

At least he didn't look away. No, those amber-ale eyes held hers as he said, "They sent a small search party to look for you. I couldn't risk having them come anywhere near here, so…I removed them."

"You didn't…?" she began, then stopped herself.

Did she even want to hear the answer to that question?

"No, no," he said hurriedly. "They are not dead. A little banged up, I fear, for I was not very gentle. But nothing they cannot heal from quickly enough."

She was going to need a minute to process that one. Ignoring the tea Abdul had gotten her, she untangled her fingers from his and went to sit down at the dining room table. He followed, but not too closely, instead choosing to hover a few feet away rather than crowd her personal space.

Probably a good idea. She pressed her lips together, then looked up at him.

"How long ago?"

He didn't pretend to misunderstand the question. "Three days."

Three days. Definitely before she and Abdul had shared any kind of intimacies…but definitely after she'd begun to have feelings for him, even if she might not have admitted such a thing to herself during that time. Still, she needed to recognize the uncomfortable fact that if the rescue party from Los Alamos had actually managed to make it to her, there was at least a fifty-fifty chance that she might have told them she wanted to stay where she was.

Which meant she wasn't going to let herself be too angry with Abdul. After all, he'd told her at the very beginning that this was his home and he didn't appreciate intruders. He'd only done what he thought he needed to.

"Okay," she said. "Maybe there might have been a better way for you to handle the situation, but I suppose it could have been worse. I just wish there was a way to let them all know I'm okay so they won't keep sending people to look for me."

Abdul was silent for a moment, brows pulled together as he appeared to contemplate the problem. As he'd done yesterday, he'd left off the hooded robe and wore a black tunic and black pants, and Sarah realized she was already barely noticing the scars on the one half of his face, as if her brain had noted them once and decided to move on.

"Then you must go and tell them yourself," he said, and she tilted her head at him.

"You're sending me away?"

Immediately, he came over and pressed a kiss against the top of her head. Even that gentlest of pressure from his mouth was enough to send her blood racing again, and she knew she would never survive if she had to live without him.

"Dearest, of course not. It is only that I think it better for you to go in person and let them know that you have come and gone of your own free will. I will even accompany you, if you wish. The devices will be somewhat of a challenge, but I can manage them if necessary."

His expression was earnest, and Sarah knew he meant every word he'd said.

She wouldn't make him do such a terrible thing, though. While she might not have seen firsthand what Miles Odekirk's devices could do to a djinn, she'd heard it could be pretty bad. And while Abdul wasn't an ordinary djinn, he was close enough to them physically that she knew it still would not be at all pleasant for him to be around them for even a short time.

"You can't do that," she said as she rose from her chair. "I don't want you to. But maybe — maybe you can come with me to the edge of the protected territory and wait for me there. It'll feel better to know you're closer than being all the way out here in Ghost Ranch."

"Of course I will do that for you," he replied at once. "And anything else that is within my power to make the process easier."

He could probably think of quite a few things, considering all the supernatural gifts he had at his command. And while Sarah had to admit she wasn't overly thrilled about going back to Los Alamos, even for a short amount of time, she realized this was a dangling thread that really needed to be tied off. The last thing she wanted was for Lindsay Odekirk — or anyone else — to spend any more time worrying about her than she already had.

"All right," she said, glad she sounded firm and unworried, even though a few nervous butterflies had started darting around in her stomach at the thought of returning to her former home and doing her best to explain what had happened to her over these past ten days.

"We'll go after breakfast."