Chapter 15

Griffin

“Long day, huh?” I stood back to let Lee come inside the next Tuesday, then shut my apartment door behind him.

“ Long fucking day, yeah.” Lee shoved a hand through damp red curls that’d clearly already gotten the treatment a few dozen times.

“Did you eat?”

“Grabbed something at my desk.”

I knew “something” was likely to have been a piece of the leftover wedding cake or a bag of chips, but I wasn’t going to nag him. “You want to play a game, or watch a movie, or—”

I stopped talking as he grabbed me and slammed a kiss to my mouth. Okay, this was not going to be a cuddle-on-the-couch evening. No objections. I wrapped my arms around Lee to steady us and kissed him back. He bit my lip hard enough to sting and shoved his groin into mine, his cock already stiff against my stomach.

“Bedroom,” I said, yanking away from him and heading for the hall. “If you’re in that mood, I want a mattress and fewer sharp corners.”

“What mood?” He followed me, though.

“Take no prisoners?” I hauled the covers down the bed and shucked my shirt over my head.

“Okay, yeah, that mood.” He wore a flattering henley he must’ve put on at home after his shower. When he yanked the snug waffle-knit off, his damp hair stood up even more.

I pulled him in tight with one arm and tousled his hair. “I like it this long. Something to hold onto.”

His eyes darkened and he cupped the back of my head with a big hand. “We’ll see who holds what.” He kissed me again, then nipped my chin hard. Grabbing my face between both hands, he stared down at me. I gave him a shit-eating grin and the next moment I fought for breath as he ate my mouth, then pushed me against the wall, pinning me with his bulk.

“Bed,” I protested when I got my lips free. “Softer. No corners.”

“Fuck. Right.” Lee stepped back and opened his jeans. “Get naked.”

I could get onboard with that idea. By the time I had my slacks and underwear off, Lee was down to skin, watching, stroking his already erect cock with one hand.

“Sit at the top of the bed,” he ordered. “Stuff some pillows behind your head.”

I raised my eyebrows at his pushiness, but I couldn’t lie. I was getting off on it. My dick bobbed eagerly as I climbed on the bed and sat with my back to the headboard, two pillows layered behind me. “What do you have in mind?”

“Suck me?”

“Anytime.” I wanted to get my mouth on that thick cock of his. “Sitting like this?”

“Yeah.” He crawled onto the foot of the bed and straddled my legs, knee-walking toward me. As he got close, I tugged the pillows lower to find the perfect height. Lee gripped the base of his cock in one hand and reached for the headboard with the other. Leaning over me, he ran the head of his dick across my lips.

I tasted the salt of a bead of precum and licked it away. My cock ached, fully onboard now.

“I want to fuck your mouth,” Lee murmured. “That okay?”

“Do it.” I craned my neck to get a lick on the fat cockhead bobbing an inch from my face.

“Open up.” Lee scooted a little closer and nudged my mouth with his dick. I opened for him, sucking as he pushed between my lips.

He started easy, a short back-and-forth slide that let me press my tongue on him as he pushed forward and suck hard on the out stroke. After a minute, he picked up the pace, breathing faster as he rocked in and out, shoving against my tongue, my cheeks, the roof of my mouth.

I grabbed his thighs for balance and tried to relax my throat. The taste and smell of Lee’s groin filled my senses. I sucked harder and the edge of my teeth scraped along the underside of his dick.

Lee groaned and shoved in deep. Not usually a problem— I loved sucking cock— but tonight my throat was oddly tight. I gagged and smacked his thigh, coughing as he backed out.

“You okay?” He peered down at me, his face and chest flushed.

“Yeah. Throat’s a bit rough tonight.” I closed my fist around his shaft and craned forward to lick the beading precum off him. “Would you fuck me?”

“You want that?”

I realized how much I did. “God, yes. This cock in my ass? Bring it.”

“I’m not really in a mood for slow.”

“My ass is fine with fast.” I nudged his thigh. “Get off me a second.” I had lube in the bedside drawer. A moment later, I knelt up high and got two lubed fingers buried deep, working myself open. Sure, it burned, but that wide-eyed hungry look on Lee’s face made the burn a bonus, not a problem. He groaned when I added more lube and came back with three fingers.

When I’d gotten those fingers in past the knuckles, Lee bent over me and sucked my dick, his mouth tight, his cheeks hollow under his beard. I took a short breath. “Fuck!”

He slurped up and down, then pulled off. “In a minute. Want you ready.” With a wicked lick up my shaft, he sucked me again.

“I’m ready. I’m so fucking ready.” I slid my hand out and wiped on a tissue.

“Turn over then. On your hands and knees.” Lee smacked my thigh.

I scrambled to obey, turning over and getting my legs under me, my ass in the air. Lee’s big, hot hands landing on my hips sucked all the air from my lungs. The sound I made wasn’t a word.

He laughed darkly as he maneuvered me, nudging my knees apart. “Let me in.”

“Do it.” I braced my elbows and tucked my head down between them, my eyes shut.

In the heated darkness, I heard the lube slurp, a crinkle of condom wrapper, and then felt pressure on my opening. Two fingers— Lee checking me, even in his impatience. He slid in deep, tapping my prostate until my body shuddered and sparked. Then his fingers were replaced with the broad rounded head of his cock. He shoved in an inch, past my first resistance, and stopped there.

It’d been years since I’d begged someone to get the fuck inside my fucking ass right the fuck now. Hell, maybe Lee was the last. I’d had sex with other guys, plenty of them, but it’d never felt as right and as desperate as with Lee. I begged now. “Don’t fucking stop, you bastard. Please!”

His chuckle was pure evil. “Remember, you asked.” His next thrust sank so deep, I practically felt him in my chest.

“Yes. Yeah.” I braced myself better. “Do it.”

Before I could breathe, Lee pulled out and drove home, drawing a grunt from my dry throat. Again, deep as he could go, his hips smacking my ass. Again. Then faster, gathering speed and power, his fingers digging in my hips as he railed me.

I couldn’t think, could barely stay upright. My hands clenched on the sheet and I screwed my eyes shut. Lee’s harsh breaths melded with mine. My thighs might’ve been shaking. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except the perfection of Lee taking me apart on his cock, pounding me until only his grip on my hips kept me on my knees.

Harsh grunts fell from my lips. Sparks lit the darkness behind my closed lids. Sweat dripped down my nose and my mouth dropped open and maybe I was drooling almost as hard as my cockhead was leaking precum but I was past dignity, past worrying, deep into sweaty, earthy, soaring, stinging, stretching perfection— Yes, fuck there. That. Yes! Lee’s fat cock jabbed across my prostate at the perfect angle and my body exploded.

Hands free, cock bobbing in the air, I shot stripes of cum into my sheet, up my chest, messy spurts on my neck. Each pulse slammed through me in sharp, shuddering relief. Lee didn’t stop, fucking me through it, the force of his dick driving more drips and trickles of aftershock pleasure from me.

“Griffin. God. You!” Lee shoved hard into me, grinding in a circle, his pubes rough against my ass. He groaned long and low and jolted, coming inside me, his fingers digging into my skin as he braced me on his pulsing cock. I shivered, too fucked out to do more than twitch in unison.

My knees began to slide.

Lee rode me down, easing my collapse with his grip, until we lay flat on the sheets, his weight pressing me into the mattress. I sucked in rough breaths. My body hummed and buzzed, but my legs were wet noodles. Lee reached between us and propped himself up enough to ease out of me, drawing a whimper from my tight throat at the sting of my asshole. He dropped the condom off the side and collapsed back on me, his hot breath fanning my ear.

I hooked an ankle over his.

He kissed my temple. “God, that was perfect. Thank you.”

“You did all the work.” I closed my eyes again. “I could nap now.”

“I wasn’t too rough?”

The uncertainty in his voice made me crack an eye open to peer over my shoulder. “No way. I’m a big boy. I’d tell you if I needed a break.”

“Okay. Good.”

I fumbled back to pat his furry ass. “You seemed like you needed that.”

“Fuck, yeah.” He kissed my cheek, then rubbed his face against me. His beard tickled my shoulder. “Needed a moment when the only thing I could see or feel was you.”

I shoved down my lethargy and squirmed out from under enough to pull him into a loose hug. “Want to tell me?”

He shook his head, but then said, “Vicki passed in the early morning hours. I knew it was coming but each death is still… hard. Then I got Phoebe to juggle the rooms once hers was sanitized, and Harvey and Owen are spending their first night together in a long time, even if it’s in two separate beds pushed together. And a dozen other little Wellhaven things went right and wrong. It’s just…”

“A lot?” I suggested softly.

“Yeah. A lot. Like my brain was bouncing off the inside of my skull and loving you was the only thing that could make the pinball thoughts go away.”

I didn’t point out the word he’d used. We hadn’t said that in twenty years. “Glad to be of service.”

“Sorry—”

“No, I meant that.” I kissed his hair. “I’m never complaining about sex with you, and if I can take a crazy day and make it go away, make you feel good, that’s a bonus.”

“I’m so glad you came back.” He threw a heavy thigh across mine. “Glad you plan to stay.”

“Me too.”

I drifted, enjoying holding Lee close in the moment of peace before my ass would make me go clean up. Lee shuddered through a snore, then woke with a start. “Crap, I should get up.”

“Not yet.” I kept my arm across his shoulders, wriggling in closer. A little spit went down the wrong way and I coughed, my throat spasming.

Lee leaned back to look at me. “You okay? I’m really sorry if I fucked your mouth too hard back there.”

Two more coughs, and blessed oxygen returned. “You didn’t,” I reassured him hoarsely. “Just spit. Not your fault I can’t swallow and breathe at the same time.” That little episode had made the rest of my body wake up and ask for attention, though. “I’m going to the john. I’ll be right back.”

Lee swung his legs off the mattress. “I’ll make you some tea. I need to go home soon anyway. Mom went to the farmer’s market today, but she didn’t have the energy to take all the greens off the veggies and fit them in the fridge.”

“How is she? Still enjoying Willow?” I’d been over once and spent an hour with the cat sprawled in my lap as we talked. Made me think about a cat of my own someday, if I was really staying put.

“She’s good. Did a couple of things for her health I’d been nagging her about for years, and I think she’s already feeling better. Going out’s still not her favorite thing, though. And yeah, that cat’s a blessing. Best choice I made all year.” He hesitated, then set a hand behind my head and guided me into a slow kiss. “Other than deciding not to let past hurts keep me from reaching for someone amazing. That was my really best choice.”

I kissed him back, soft and sweet. I hope I can live up to that.

***

The masked nurse at the Kwik Klinic peered into my throat, then gagged the hell out of me with her swab. I coughed, eyes streaming, as she puttered with her samples. “Strep and COVID tests,” she said. “Ten minutes. Okay, let me have a better look now.”

I opened and aaaah ed obediently as she peered into my throat.

“You don’t look very inflamed. We’ll see what the tests say. Once more.”

As a gay man, maybe I should’ve had better control of my gag reflex, but I swear she was putting that tongue depressor farther back than Lee ever got his dick. As she muttered and shone her light, I dry heaved. She was smart enough to pull back. “Sorry.”

I waved a hand, fighting the reaction of my body. “S’okay. I want answers.”

She turned away and puttered with tidying up some of the debris from swabs and gloves. “You said you’re a singer, right?”

“Yes.”

“That puts vocal cord nodules a bit higher on the list. If everything comes up negative here, I’ll put in a referral to an ENT. Let me check with the mirror.” She put a headband with a light around her hair.

That meant a few more uncomfortable minutes while she angled a small mirror into the back of my throat and made hmmm sounds.

“Anything?” I asked when she was done.

“You might have a nodule or polyp or something. I’m not getting a good view. But…” She turned away as a device beeped. “Yes, your rapid strep and COVID are both negative, so I’ll put in the referral. You don’t have a primary clinic?”

“No, I just moved here recently.”

“Okay. I think the new clinic that just opened over on Seventh is getting folks in fast. Won’t last, but maybe we can sneak you in. Let me send the request.” She stripped off her gloves and sat at her computer.

I cursed in my head. I’d really wanted this stupid thick feeling in my throat to be strep. Something a week of antibiotics would fix. Every performer dreaded nodules, which meant months of vocal rest and retraining. With Rocktoberfest three weeks away, I couldn’t afford to rest right now. Luckily my voice hadn’t been affected much.

Yet.

She sat back. “Okay, request is in. I used the contact info you gave me. They should be in touch soon.”

“Thanks.” I put my card into the reader to pay for my visit, then pushed to my feet. “Did you see anything visible? Like, how sure are you?”

The nurse practitioner shook her head. “Just a little irregularity, maybe. Enough that you should get it checked out. I marked it urgent for you.”

Urgent? Fuck. “Thank you.”

The bright sun outside didn’t help my mood. Nor did the fact that I’d decided to combine my Klinic visit with my weekly parole meeting. So I went from something that made me gag to… something that made me gag.

Most of the time, Officer Daniels was okay, a bit officious, but quick and professional. But his foot-dragging over Rocktoberfest was driving me crazy. I waited in his outer office while he yelled at someone, the words muffled by the office door but the tone unmistakable. Thanks, whoever, for putting Daniels in a great mood.

After ten minutes, his door swung open and a young white dude in baggy pants and a ripped tank top slouched out. The guy whipped a ball cap out of his pocket, yanked it down backwards on his head, gave me a glare, and strode out. I waited till Daniels called, “Mr. Marsh?”

He looked a little red-faced but otherwise unruffled. Of course, it was hard to ruffle a buzz cut. I didn’t have to pull out the other chair because it was shoved back against the wall. I dragged the chair back into place and sat down.

Daniels clicked on his keyboard. “Right. I’m getting the reports from the nursing homes. You’re completing your hours on schedule. No complaints noted.”

“I hope not.”

“Keeping your nose clean, nothing you’re concerned about?”

I hesitated. “Just the trip to Nevada for the concert. I… other people are involved in this process and I need to let them know.”

Daniels steepled his fingers. “Remind me why you need to go to California and Nevada?”

“LA is for rehearsals with Chaser Lost, the band I’m guesting with. We’ve played together before, but it’s been a long time. They’re backing me up at the concert, since I don’t have a current band. The organizers are paying me fifty thousand dollars to appear. I need to give them a solid show for that payment, and that means at least some rehearsal.”

“Fifty grand.” Daniels tilted his head. “That’s a lot of money.”

“Yes, sir. Money I’m counting on for living expenses this year, so I can pay off my debt to society as quickly as possible.” Maybe that was laying it on a bit thick, but hopefully it would sound good. With the advantage of being the truth.

“Does every band get that kind of dough?”

I had to laugh. “I’m third tier nowadays. The top bands pull in close to a million for a big outdoor concert, and it goes down from there. I haven’t asked Chaser what they’re getting but half a million wouldn’t be out of range.”

Daniels whistled. “I’m in the wrong business.”

“I’m in the right business and I’m not pulling in that kind of dough.” Anymore. I’d been close, once upon a time, when I shared a bunch of that money with my manager and the label and spent more on a tour I was persuaded to self-back. Lots of hindsight there, but still, I had nothing to complain about. There were incredible musicians who never got their big break.

“Probably lots of booze and drugs, though, right?”

“Sure.” I kept my tone easy, even though his harping on drugs when I’d been clean throughout this mess bugged me. “Doesn’t mean I’ll have a problem, though. Hell, look at Axel Townsend of Grindstone. He admits he had huge problems with alcohol and hard drugs years ago, did rehab and all? He was at Rocktoberfest last year, and he’s still clean and sober, playing again this year. I’ve never had that kind of problem, and I won’t now.”

Daniels nodded slowly. “All right. I’m signing off on this trip for you, since it’s work related. One travel day on each end, like you proposed, no more. Check in with me the day after you get back. In fact, we’ll set up the appointment now. Text me when you leave California and head to Nevada. And I don’t want to see you on any social media wasted or high? Got it?”

“Crystal clear. Thank you.” I clenched my fists over being treated like an unruly teen while in my fifties, and kept a smile plastered on my face.

Daniels completed the paperwork on his computer and printed it out for me. “Keep a copy on you at all times while traveling. You’re responsible for clearing your schedule with the nursing homes.”

“I will.”

When we’d picked out a date and time for that return appointment, he stood and extended his hand.

I followed suit, saying as we shook hands, “I appreciate you helping me stay afloat financially.”

“I don’t mind having a client who follows the rules. See you next week.”

I kept my cool as I left his office, walking past a young Black woman with a worried expression sitting in the chair I’d vacated. We didn’t meet each other’s eyes but I silently wished her well. Down the elevator, out into the street, and then I startled some passerby with my fist-pumping shout of “Yes!”

The relief was so overwhelming, I barely noticed the odd feeling in my throat as I called Pete Lebraun.

“Hey, dude.” Pete wasn’t California-born, but by now he sounded that way. “What’s the word?”

“He signed the damned forms. Finally. I’ll see you in, fuck, two weeks? Yeah.”

Pete chuckled. “Gonna be good. We haven’t jammed in far too long. I’ll meet you at the airport. Let me know if your flight changes.”

“Will do.” I might’ve made the decision not to tour again, might be winding my career into low gear, but the prospect of seeing the guys, of jamming with topflight musicians, the heady expectation of the crowds at Rocktoberfest, made my feet feel light on the pavement as I walked down the block to catch the bus.