Chapter 13

Griffin

Lee and I didn’t manage another date the next week. He worked long hours, something to do with monthly reports the county required. When we passed each other in the halls of Wellhaven, though, the heat between us felt like a neon sign. We didn’t kiss, there in his workplace, or say more than a few casual words, but once he brushed the back of my hand as he squeezed past me, and when I sat down to play checkers with Tom, he asked why I was grinning like a fool.

I was adapting to the terms of my parole. Travel by bus was sometimes annoying, especially the time I got one with AC that was on the fritz and the whole bus smelled like a high school locker room. But I had the hang of the less-than-precise schedules, and leaving enough time for delays. I did a real grocery run for more than just frozen food and snacks. Had to take a Lyft home, but it settled me to have veggies and a few spices and evidence I was doing more than subsisting.

Even the nightmares had faded. I still woke now and then with my heart pounding to the echoes of bending metal and splintering bumpers. Chanting, “Don’t think. Don’t remember. Don’t, don’t, don’t,” still sometimes took long minutes to get me past the black hole of I killed someone . But mostly I could face the mornings feeling like the world had good stuff in it. Like Lee. Losing the grinding exhaustion of the last few months made me feel a decade younger.

Which I might need, if I was going to date a guy sixteen years younger. I bought a set of hand weights and began doing a little lifting, though I couldn’t face the idea of a gym.

When Friday evening rolled around, I made a quick takeout stop, then rode the bus back from my afternoon gig at Rose Gardens to Wellhaven, instead of going home. Sure enough, even though it was five-thirty by the time I arrived and Lee was supposed to be done at four, his car was still in the employee lot.

Kashira came out of the back door while I was checking for that electric-blue telltale Mazda and waved. “Hey, Griffin, you’re not usually here this late. Are you going to drag Lee away from his work?”

“That’s the plan. Although he’s not expecting me.”

“Go get him. He needs a break.” She held the back door open for me, and while I should’ve gone around front and signed in, I loved feeling like I belonged.

“Thanks. Have a good weekend.” I ducked inside.

I’d rarely been in Wellhaven at that hour. The halls were surprisingly empty, but as I approached the lobby, I heard sounds from the dining room and realized it was probably resident dinner hour. Lee’s door was shut, and I hesitated before knocking, then rapped twice.

“Yeah? Come in?”

That wasn’t the most welcoming tone of voice, but I pushed the door open. “Dinner delivery.”

“I didn’t—” Lee’s tone softened as he looked up. “Griffin. What are you doing here?”

“Delivering the eats.” I held up the takeout bag. “I know your work’s important, but you can take time to have a meal and I wanted to see you.”

“God, you’re an angel.” He straightened his back and stretched.

“I think actually the angel-people aren’t fond of guys like me.”

His lips twitched behind a mustache that needed a fresh trim. “A devil, then, tempting me away from my duties.”

“You’ve been working for ten hours and how much lunch break did you take?”

“Um.”

“That’s what I thought.” I gestured at his paper-laden desk. “Can you clear space or should we sit on the floor?”

“You know, the floor’s a good idea. I have things arranged.” He eyed the ranks of overlapping folders. “Use computers, they said. It’ll cut down on the paper, they said.”

“It doesn’t?”

“Some. But often a clipboard and a piece of paper is still easier when we’re out on the floors. And a lot of the resident medical records are from years ago.” He entered something on his computer, pushed his chair back, and stood. “Hey, want to close that door?”

I set the food on the visitor’s chair and did so. When I turned back, Lee was a foot away. He slid a hand behind my head and kissed me thoroughly. “Damn, missed you.”

“Mm. Yeah. But what happened to not in my workplace ?”

“I clocked out. The door is shut. I’m not planning on taking our clothes off, but I needed a kiss.”

“Special delivery.” I looped my arms around him and found his mouth again.

When we separated, he said, “The floor is hard and not very sanitary. Want to walk down to the park?”

“Sure.” I didn’t mind ditching the closet-office ambiance, although nursing home chic would be okay as long as it had Lee in it.

The evening air felt cool and fresh as we headed down the sidewalk side by side. “Fall’s coming,” Lee noted.

I kicked at a fallen leaf. “It’s already here. The summer was just so hot we didn’t notice. Hell, Rocktoberfest’s only a month away.”

He eyed me. “Were you serious about making that your last big show?”

“Serious about not touring, yeah. If I got invited to some other one-time festival, would I take a few days? Probably. I still love to play. But the thought of that city-to-city where-the-hell-are-we-today grind of a tour? No, not again.”

“Even if, say, Maiden Voyage asked you to open for them?”

I laughed. “My style and theirs don’t overlap enough to make that even a pipe dream, but yeah. Even if they did, I still don’t want to chase all over the world in that stew of pressure and egos and drugs and managers and labels insisting that everything be dumbed down to the lowest level. Crowds and paps and cameras in my face asking how I feeeeeeel ? No, thanks.” The more I thought about my old life, the truer that felt.

“Can you afford to retire?” Lee sat on a bench across from the empty playground.

“Not entirely.” I had no regrets about giving my money to Linda’s kids, but the coffers were kind of bare. “Rocktoberfest is a real nice chunk of change landing in my lap, and I have some residuals from my albums and songs I wrote for other folks. There are some other venues within a day’s drive that might be happy to have me, too, although the pay will be low. Eventually, I’ll probably have to get a real job. I thought about teaching music, but now with a criminal record…” I clutched to top of the food bag, staring out at the swing-set and slides. Would anyone trust me with their kids? It wasn’t like I was a sex offender, but criminal carelessness wasn’t a good look.

“I think you’d be a great teacher. Even better if you recognized boyfriend starvation when you saw it.” He made grabby hands at the food.

I unfolded the bag, not showing how much I liked the word boyfriend . “Did you eat any lunch?”

“I had some chips at my desk.”

“And you with the nutrition training.” The containers of pad Thai and curry felt only warm to the touch, despite the extra layer I’d packed them in, but The Curried Noodle’s food didn’t have to be burning hot to be good. I passed over napkins and cutlery, and Lee fell on his meal like a starving wolf.

“So goo’” he mumbled through a mouthful. “You’re a god among men.”

“Promoted from angel to god.” I’d ordered my pork dish mild, in deference to my throat irritation that wasn’t going away as fast as usual. Even so, I coughed a little at the salty soy and lime.

“You okay?” Lee asked.

“Yeah. Went down the wrong way.” I dropped the hand I’d been rubbing my neck with and smiled.

“Don’t ignore a sore throat. You’re doing the elderly germ circuit these days. We have strep, RSV, flu, and COVID for your testing pleasure. If you have symptoms, maybe take a day off.”

“I don’t feel sick. Just tried to do too long of a Lemmy Kilmister impression.”

“I’ll pretend I know what you just said.” Lee shoveled another spoonful of noodles into his mouth.

“Sang too deep and harsh for my voice.” I ate a smaller bite. “Like the end of my tour for Hawk Untethered . I was sucking honey candy and writing notes to everybody to save my voice for the shows. Took almost a month off after that to recover.”

“I have to say, I like your softer rock better.”

“Unlike Harvey.” I grinned.

“Yeah.” Lee laughed, then sobered. “He’s been kind of down the last few days. Even his roommate noticed.”

“Getting older’s not for the faint of heart.”

“You don’t come in on the weekends, but maybe Monday you could give him another private concert?”

I set the cover on my half-finished meal. Lee had polished off his. “How about now? If you think he’d still be awake and it’s not too late for his roommate? You could scare up that guitar for me and hang out, clap for my brilliance.” Plus it would give Lee a longer break from his work to relax. The man needed someone to take care of him so he didn’t burn himself out.

“It’s not even seven o’clock. That could work.” He eyed me as I set the dishes back in the bag. “You only have a couple more months at the rate you’re going to finish your mandated community service. Do you think you might keep coming round after that?”

“Sure thing. Gotta look good to the fans, and my lyrics aren’t fit for a children’s hospital.”

Lee nudged me. “Sure. That’s the only reason.”

We headed back to Wellhaven, pausing to ditch our trash in the barrel at the entrance to the park. Lee led us in the front door, and I let him watch me sign in as a visitor and put “Lee Robertson” under “resident you are visiting.”

He laughed. “The staff will give me shit for that.” But he didn’t seem displeased.

There were more people moving about with dinner hour over. Lee got nabbed a couple of times on our walk down the hall to answer questions. His patience and the focused attention he gave each person made my heart melt just a little bit more.

The door to Harvey and Prescott’s room stood open. Lee stuck his head in. “Got time for a visitor?”

“Sure.” That was Owen’s voice. “Been a slow day.”

Harvey grumbled something about cabbages for dinner.

Lee beckoned me in and Prescott waved from his bed as I entered. Owen sat in a chair and Harvey lay half propped against his pillows. Owen brightened and smiled at me but Harvey picked at a thread on his blanket and didn’t raise his head.

“Hey, Harv.” Owen’s bright tone sounded forced. “Griffin’s going to think you don’t like him anymore.”

“Hah.” Harvey peered down at his hands, rubbing the bad one with the good. “That was yesterday.”

Owen winced and Lee took a step closer, peering at Harvey. “Hey, dude. Having an off day?”

“I told you, it’s this place. My head goes around. Must be almost dinner time, right?”

Lee and Owen exchanged worried looks, and Lee beckoned with his head. Owen followed him into the hall, but I could just make out their words, Lee asking, “Does he seem off to you?”

“Hell, yeah. Confused, almost, the last day or two. Scares me a bit.”

“We’ll get him a proper workup done. First thing, check for a urinary infection. You’d be surprised how often a simple thing like that can cause mental lapses.”

“You think?” I could hear the hope in Owen’s tone.

“It’s a possibility.”

Lee came back in and leaned across Harvey’s bed to push his call button. “I’ll get an aide in here. We’ll check his pressure and O2, get a urine sample and all.” He tugged the privacy curtain forward between the two beds. “Owen, you’ll need to give us a bit of room to work. Go get yourself a coffee or something? Ten minutes.”

“I’ll keep you company,” I offered, and when the aide appeared and Lee started giving orders, I led Owen out into the hall.

“This sucks,” he muttered.

“I’ll bet.” I glanced around. “Coffee?” The staff at the front counter kept a pot going and would hand a cup to residents who were able and allowed to drink the stuff.

“It’ll be foul by this hour. Anyhow, more caffeine isn’t good for me.” Owen leaned on his walker and threw a look over his shoulder. “I’m glad Lee stopped by.” He turned to me with a nod. “That’s a good man you’ve got.”

“I wouldn’t say got. Not yet.”

“Well, Harvey and I decided to— ahem— room together a week after we met. When you know, you know.” He watched a minute longer as the aide hustled out of Harvey’s room and came back with a cart of supplies.

“Come on,” I suggested. “Let’s go sit in the library. The chairs are comfy and it’s usually quiet.” We made our way to the small book-lined room down the hall. Owen slumped into one of the wing-back chairs near the window and I took another beside him. No one else was using the space, although the sound of other folks came distantly through the doorway.

“I should be grateful,” Owen said. “So many men didn’t make it to our ages. So many others didn’t get to keep their love for forty-eight years.”

“And counting,” I put in.

“Yes. Thank you.”

“That’s true, but it still sucks that you’re fighting for your right to be together after all that time.”

“Right? I want to be with Harv tonight, but if I try to sleep in the damned chair the nurses will harass me to go to bed. Plus they’d be right because my back would kill me. But the bed is verboten to guys living in sin.”

“Lee said you won’t get married, though he wouldn’t say why.”

“Can’t, not won’t.”

I came out with a nebulous idea that’d floated around in my brain. “What about a fake wedding? Like, I got ordained online for a couple of friends years back. I checked, and you can do it pretty quick these days. What if I did that, gave my credentials to that Zhukov guy, performed a wedding in a splashy way right here in Wellhaven, and just never submitted the paperwork to the state. Would he ever know?”

“Ooh, I do like how you’re thinking.” Owen leaned forward. “Depends if they insist on a copy of the legal marriage license.”

“Except how many older married couples don’t have a copy anymore, or would have a hard time finding one? If two people are het and they show up as Mr. and Mrs. I bet no one bats an eye. This is all Zhukov’s little power play.”

“We’ll have to ask Lee. Figure out if we could get away with it.” Owen grinned. “Would be sweet, though. Make it a real queer wedding, rainbows and a kissing photo in front of the Wellhaven sign.”

“Would you want that sign in your wedding photos?”

“Not all the photos, but believe me, other than this bullshit with Zhukov, Wellhaven isn’t a bad place. At my age, I have other friends in nursing homes and I hear the stories. I did a fuckton of research before I picked here, and then waited nine months for beds to open up. That last place Harvey was in, no one would’ve started checking him over at six at night, just because he sounded a bit off. Anything less than a heart attack waited till the morning shift.”

“Lee will be pleased to know you approve.”

“He’s a damned treasure, that man.” Owen craned his head toward the hallway and listened, but we were well out of earshot.

To distract him, I asked what he thought Harvey would like to have in a wedding.

“Other than you playing something really inappropriate on the guitar? Hm. Flowers. We almost picked a different place because it had an awesome garden.” He chuckled. “I guess dancing boys are right out.”

“Not sure I could swing that.”

“Honestly? Him and me and a pair of gold rings. We’re not fussy these days. Well, and cake. That man does have a sweet tooth, and if you can’t have cake on your wedding, when can you?”

“A his-and-his topper, for the make-Zhukov-explode ambiance?”

“Of course.” Owen sighed. “It kind of blows my mind you can just order one of those, easy as you please. I went to a commitment ceremony, back, oh, must’ve been the early eighties. They had one, made by trimming the brides out of two het versions and gluing the two guy halves together. We never imagined it’d be on the shelf at Walmart.”

“Progress with some backsliding.”

“Yeah. Got to step up to keep the sliding from getting worse. You do vote, young man?”

I chuckled at being called young. “Always have. Absentee ballot when I was travelling.” I frowned. “I’ll have to figure out how that works if my driver’s license is suspended and my home address isn’t where I live. And while I’m on parole.” Could I even vote? Sometimes the reality of what I’d done hit me in new and exciting ways. Surely that restriction was only for felons? I tugged at my hair, distracting myself.

Owen tapped my knee. “And I’ll have to make sure my ID’s up to date with this address. Good reminder. Harvey’s too. We marched to the polls side by side and voted blue when Reagan laughed about men dying of AIDS and in every damned election since. If you let the bigots in, they can turn around and take away freedoms you’ve taken for granted. Hell, we’re getting our faces rubbed in that lately.”

“I bet Kashira would know how to get your IDs in order. Or maybe Phoebe.”

“I don’t trust that woman. She’s up in Zhukov’s ass. But yeah. I’ll ask Kashira.”

Lee came into the library. “There you are.”

“How’s Harvey?” Owen demanded.

“He’s fine.” Lee glanced at me. “Can you give us a moment?”

Owen waved him off as I got to my feet. “Griffin isn’t going to sell an old guy’s health secrets. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just HIPPA.”

“I’ll grab myself some coffee.” I made my way out of the library and picked up a cup of sugary brown water from the desk.

When I got back, Lee had taken my chair and Owen was looking relieved. He called, “Hey, Griffin, Lee says Harvey should be fine. Tell him about that idea you had, about the—” He lowered his voice. “—fake wedding.”

I glanced over my shoulder, then squatted between the two chairs, and explained to Lee. At the end, I added, “I’m not sure about my criminal record, though. I’ll have to check if I’m still eligible to officiate.” The talk of voting had reminded me. If it wasn’t for my lawyer and the prosecutor, I might be a felon. I should be grateful. I am grateful. “Maybe it would be better if you did it.”

“I’d rather have plausible deniability,” Lee murmured.

Owen said, “And no offense, but Harvey would get the kick of a lifetime out of having his wedding officiated by Griffin Marsh.” He nudged my shoulder with his elbow. “You check it out, huh? What do you think, Lee? Could it work?”

“Maybe. Zhukov’s never been that hands-on with reports. He likes summaries.” Lee lowered his tone further. “Without spilling secrets, I’d say get ready to move on that ASAP. We may have a bed opening up down here in the next couple of weeks. If you’re married, I can insist Phoebe assigns you two in there, and then it’s a fait accompli. If we’re lucky, Zhukov will move on to his next victims and never know the difference. But.” Lee paused. “If he does find out, he might go ballistic about fraud. Maybe even throw you out.”

“I could bring in the press,” I suggested. Hell, my media contacts should be good for something. “Lots of attention to the longtime couple being discriminated against by the evil, bigoted nursing home.”

Owen made a face. “There’s reasons I’d rather avoid publicity.” He took a slow breath. “But I want to be with Harvey. He’s sick and confused, even if it is the infection talking, and he’s going to be sleeping two floors away from me tonight. I say the gain is worth the risk. Let’s go for it.”

Lee grinned. “At least, it’ll be fun. But no one except us and Harvey can know it’s not the real deal. And, Owen, I’d wait to tell Harvey until he’s had a few days of antibiotics.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Owen clutched his walker and levered himself to his feet. “Now I’m going to go sit with my fiancé until the chair forces me to lie down.”

“I gave him a little something for comfort while we’re waiting on tomorrow’s labs,” Lee said. “He may doze off soon.”

“Thanks.” Owen pointed between us. “And you, Griffin, take your man out of here and make him do something fun. God knows he works too hard.” He shuffled off down the hall toward Harvey’s room.

I raised my eyebrow at Lee. “What do you say? Can I take you away from all this luxury?”

He hesitated, looking in the direction of his office, then sighed and nodded. “Anyone who wants to see those reports won’t be at work till Monday anyhow. I’ll come in tomorrow and check on Harvey’s labs and finish up. Tonight, I’m all yours.”

I hauled him up out of his chair and let the back of my hand linger on his hip for a moment. “I do like the sound of that. I’ve lots of things I want to do with you.”

“Mmm.” He swayed toward me, then released my fingers and stepped back. “Once we’re out of here. Your place?”

“Yep.”

“Let me just check on Mom.” He texted back and forth for a minute, then smiled. “She’s bringing our neighbor a casserole. Seems he’s under the weather.”

“And you’re smiling about that?”

“He’s a bit older than her and a sweet guy. He’s helped her out a few times. This is the first time I remember her returning the favor. Better living through chemistry.”

“Huh?”

“Never mind. What matters is that Mom has something to keep her busy, and your apartment awaits. Come on.” Lee gestured toward the hall with his chin. “Let me grab my bag and we can head out.”

“What time did you tell her you’d be home?”

“I warned her not to wait up.” He grinned over his shoulder and strode out.

I tripped over my feet, thinking I’d like to see him smile like that with a lot fewer clothes on, and hurried after him.