49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Jethro’s heart lurched as Cassandra sat so close beside him, on the edge of his bed, with her small hand in his, and his other arm around her shoulders. He longed to draw her close to him and kiss those tears away, but he was keenly aware of her state of undress.

Now was not the time. But when would he get another chance?

He couldn’t have said no to his wife—not when she had stared up into his eyes with her own full of such pain—but what sacrifices would they have to make as a result?

He yearned to tell her everything would be all right. But would it?

Jethro could not pretend. The thought of Alexander coming to live with them scared him.

He and Cassandra had settled into a routine. They were spending more time with each other, sharing more of their lives with each other, and their relationship was deepening, day by day. Jethro dared to hope he was replacing Mr Barnes in her affections.

The captain’s arrival would change everything.

Cassandra’s focus would alter. No more spontaneous visits to see him in the warehouse. No more walking along the Esplanade or up to the Lookout with only her husband for company. Even their companionable evenings together would be interrupted by having a third person around.

Then there was the matter of her brother’s behaviour .

Alexander’s presence might jeopardise the impression Jethro made on Mr Wade, which threatened the whole of his business. If a broken engagement had provoked unpredictable outbursts of emotion, what would an injured body and losing his profession do to his brother-in-law?

“I suppose we should dress for dinner,” Cassandra said, “or Mr Oliver’s cooking will be ruined.”

Botheration. Jethro didn’t want to move. He was quite content to sit where he was for the rest of the evening.

She pulled her hand free from his grasp and rose to her feet, a faint colour in her cheeks. Was she embarrassed by her outburst of emotion, or because of sitting so close to him?

He stood as well. This was his last chance to overcome his reservations and initiate change before Alexander arrived. To draw her close, and kiss her, and tell her he loved her.

“Cass—”

“Thank you, Jethro,” she said, at exactly the same moment. “You don’t know what this means to me. I’m so grateful to you for giving me a home and now offering one to my brother.”

Grateful. She was grateful. He wanted to offer her his love, but she was still talking about gratitude.

Jethro swallowed his disappointment, relieved that he’d been saved from an outpouring of his feelings that would only have embarrassed them both.

“It is my Christian duty to forgive your brother and open our house to him,” he said in a voice that sounded strained even in his own ears. “He has served King and country and deserves to be cared for, and to find a home with his kin.”

He wanted to add that he could forgive Alexander at a distance, but was welcoming her brother into his home for Cassandra’s sake, but he kept those thoughts to himself.

“I shall write to Xander at once, to tell him he may stay here. Let’s hope the good news will ease his gloom. Mrs Timms must prepare his room. I’ve no notion of how long it will be before he joins us. Or what state he’ll be in…”

Her voice wavered and Jethro took her hand and squeezed it as she blinked back the tears.

There it was again. The love in her eyes as she spoke of her brother. Would she feel that much pain if he had been injured rather than Alexander?

“Go. Your brother is waiting for your letter.”

“Thank you.”

Cassandra slipped into the adjoining room, leaving Jethro alone with his reflections.

He stared at the door, wishing he’d been brave enough to tell his wife how he felt.

Should he go after her? No—it was too late. All her thoughts were for Alexander now, and when he arrived, their quiet routine would be disrupted for an indefinite length of time.

And there was nothing Jethro could do about it.

“I love you,” he whispered at the door.